How to Know if Your Boyfriend Only Wants Your Body

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Strong relationships are all about mutual respect and trust. When a guy only wants you because of how hot you are, you probably aren’t getting everything you want out of the relationship. Fortunately, there is a list of concrete red flags you can watch out for to see if your guy only wants you for your body. In this article, we’ll tell you how to know that he’s using you as well as tips on what to do next.

1

You only hang out at late at night.

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    If you regularly get texts after 11 pm asking to hang out, that’s a relationship red flag. It could mean that your boyfriend only wants to get in your pants, and he knows that night-time is the time to do it. [1]
    • This is especially true if he only ever texts you things like, “You up?”
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2

You’ve never met his friends or family.

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    If you’ve never hung out with your boyfriend’s friends or met his family members, that’s a red flag. It could mean that he only wants you for the physical aspect of your relationship, and he’s not really planning on sticking around long-term. [2]
    • Keep in mind that everyone takes relationships at their own pace. If your boyfriend hasn’t introduced you to anyone in his life yet, feel free to ask him why. He might just feel nervous or anxious about getting more serious with you.
3

He doesn’t seem interested in talking.

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    Does your boyfriend engage in conversations with you, or does he brush you off every time you try to chat with him? Unfortunately, if he’s not super interested in talking to you, there’s a chance that he’s only in this relationship for your body. [3]
    • He might also try to steer every conversation toward something sexual, or only talk about how hot/sexy you look today, or how an outfit looks on you.
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4

He doesn’t ask you questions.

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    Have you ever talked about your hopes, dreams, or fears? In healthy relationships, partners will get to know each other more by asking deep questions about their past and their goals for the future. If your boyfriend keeps things pretty shallow and hasn’t ever done a deep dive into your life, it could mean that he’s using you for your body. [4]
    • Try starting a conversation with him and asking him questions first. If he doesn’t reciprocate or the conversation dies out, that’s a red flag.
5

He ignores you for days.

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    You might have trouble getting ahold of your boyfriend on days you don’t see him, or he might leave you on read for hours (or days). If so, it could be a sign that he only wants you for your body—but only on his terms, and when it fits into his schedule. [5]
    • It could also be that your boyfriend is super busy, or that he’s bad at texting. However, it’s worth talking to him about it to see what’s up, because ghosting you for days on end isn’t right.
    Sherry Argov, Relationship Expert & Bestselling Author

    If your partner's interest feels solely physical, observe his efforts to connect beyond the bedroom. A man who pursues true intimacy will engage in open communication, quality time together, and genuine caring. If you only hear from him for sexual encounters or validation of your looks, he likely sees you as an object, not a partner. You deserve to feel cherished for who you are, not merely desired for your body.

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6

He only compliments your looks.

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    This most likely means that he’s not interested in getting to know the real you—he knows everything that he needs to know, which is that you’re hot/sexy. If your boyfriend only ever calls out physical aspects, he might just be using you. For example, if he never cares about how kind you are, and only says things like, "You look like a hot mess right now." [6]
    • These compliments are flattering, but things like, “You’re hot,” and “You look so good today” get old after a while. In most relationships, people progress past complimenting just their partner’s looks, and also call out things they like about their personality, like, "You are so sweet."
7

You don’t go on real dates.

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    If he only likes you for your body, you might only go over to his place to Netflix and chill. In relationships (especially new ones), partners usually take each other out to eat or do fun things together. Unfortunately, if your boyfriend never wants to leave the house with you, he might only be in it for the sex. [7]
    • Feel free to ask your boyfriend out on dates, too! If he’s a little inexperienced in the relationship department, he might not realize that that’s something you want to do.
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8

He won’t commit.

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    It’s totally fine if that’s what you’re looking for, but usually, a casual relationship indicates that he’s mainly in it to hook up with you. If you’ve had the “what are we” conversation and he can’t really tell you, it might be time to move on. [8]
    • You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you 100%. If it’s been a little while and he can’t decide, move on and find someone else.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Relationships shouldn't be a guessing game. If you wonder if you're valued, take stock of the dynamic at play. Communication problems and a lack of give-and-take might be early signs of problems within a relationship.


9

He gets mad if you don’t want to have sex.

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    Maybe you’re too tired one night, or you’re really just not feeling it. If your boyfriend pouts or gets mad at you because you don’t want to get physical, that’s a huge red flag. No one should ever pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to, especially someone you’re in a relationship with. [9]
    • Convincing you to have sex after you’ve said no is called “sexual coercion,” and it’s a form of sexual assault. If this has happened with your boyfriend before, you should definitely break things off.
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10

He pressures you in the bedroom.

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    A healthy partner will take “no” for an answer no matter what. If your boyfriend keeps bringing things up that he knows you aren’t down for, that’s a bad sign. [10]
    • Remember, you’re allowed to say no to anything you don’t want to do with him. If he keeps pushing the issue, it’s probably time to end things.
11

He flirts with other people in front of you.

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    You might catch him checking other people out or even flirting with them while you’re around. Not only is this rude to you, but it also shows that he’s preoccupied with how attractive other people are. [11]
    • Attraction to others doesn’t disappear when you get into a relationship, but it’s just polite not to flaunt it in front of your partner.
    • You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, not one that makes you uncomfortable.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I tell someone I want more than a casual relationship?
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Be open and honest about what you want rather than hiding your feelings! A lot of people choose to hide their feelings because they want to avoid conflict and rejection at all costs, but doing this sabotages your chances at happiness.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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    Not Helpful 4 Helpful 33
  • Question
    How do you know if you want a serious relationship?
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Be open and honest with yourself about what you want out of your relationship. This can be a bit tricky at first—you might have started out wanting something casual, but your feelings changed and grew stronger as time went on.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ https://womenshealth.com.au/signs-that-you-are-booty-call/
      2. ↑ https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/10-subtle-signs-your-partner-sees-you-as-just-a-fling
      3. ↑ https://womenshealth.com.au/signs-that-you-are-booty-call/
      4. ↑ https://womenshealth.com.au/signs-that-you-are-booty-call/
      5. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a39114/red-flags-that-your-boyfriend-sucks/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201812/why-you-must-compliment-partner-more-good-looks
      7. ↑ https://womenshealth.com.au/signs-that-you-are-booty-call/
      8. ↑ https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/10-subtle-signs-your-partner-sees-you-as-just-a-fling
      9. ↑ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/a-closer-look-at-sexual-coercion/
      1. ↑ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/a-closer-look-at-sexual-coercion/
      2. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a39114/red-flags-that-your-boyfriend-sucks/

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