Toxic people may resort to false accusations to deflect criticism, belittle others to feel better, or gaslight you into second-guessing yourself. When this happens, it can be tempting to lash out and give them a piece of your mind, but that may be the reaction they’re looking for. Read on to learn how to respond to a narcissistic person's accusations. Just keep in mind that having narcissistic tendencies doesn’t automatically mean someone has clinical Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and only a licensed therapist can diagnose NPD. [1] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
Things You Should Know
- Keep your cool and avoid lashing out. Tell them how much you care about them, and that you're sorry they feel the way they do.
- Refocus the conversation on the original topic if they try to deflect. Say, "We can address that later, but I'd like to talk about your original statement."
- Set firm boundaries. If the conversation devolves to personal insults, walk away. But first, tell them you can talk again when you've both cooled off.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you shut up a narcissist?Dr. Vernita Marsh is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the CEO and Founder of Dr. Vernita Marsh & Associates and The Marsh Clinics®. With over 30 years of clinical psychology experience, she specializes in relationship therapy, grief counseling, family therapy, and intimate partner abuse counseling. Dr. Marsh offers consultation for therapists, coaches, and trainees of mental health. Dr. Marsh earned her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Michigan State University and completed both her postdoctoral and fellowship training at Harvard Medical School. She also has expertise in the area of Telehealth and has received Clinical Telehealth Health Provider Certification from Evergreen.Take a neutral stance in the conversation so you don't feed him any narcissistic supply. If the narcissist tries to blame you for something, you might say something like "Huh! That's an interesting opinion. I think I see it very differently."
Tips
- Not everyone with clinical NPD is toxic. In fact, many people with NPD are able to manage their symptoms with therapy and/or medication. [19] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to sourceThanks
References
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ Vernita Marsh, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker. Expert Interview. 7 April 2022.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2019/08/narcissists-blame-projection#4
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/10-powerful-ways-to-deal-with-your-narcissistic-bo.html
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/stephaniesarkis/2019/02/25/projection-a-gaslighters-signature-technique/?sh=77c977da514e
- ↑ Vernita Marsh, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker. Expert Interview. 7 April 2022.
- ↑ Vernita Marsh, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker. Expert Interview. 7 April 2022.
- ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/dyzknx/how-to-argue-with-a-narcissist
- ↑ Vernita Marsh, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker. Expert Interview. 7 April 2022.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/liberation/2018/01/11-mandatory-rules-for-dealing-with-a-narcissist
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/liberation/2018/01/11-mandatory-rules-for-dealing-with-a-narcissist#How-to-Deal-with-a-Narcissist
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/stephaniesarkis/2019/02/25/projection-a-gaslighters-signature-technique/?sh=77c977da514e
- ↑ Vernita Marsh, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker. Expert Interview. 7 April 2022.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/liberation/2018/01/11-mandatory-rules-for-dealing-with-a-narcissist
- ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/dyzknx/how-to-argue-with-a-narcissist
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-covert-narcissist-or-victim-parents-or-in-laws
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2016/04/how-to-work-for-a-narcissistic-boss
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2016/04/how-to-work-for-a-narcissistic-boss
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662