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Running away from home, while it sounds liberating and glamorous, is not fun. You'll be sleeping on the street, scrounging for food, and life certainly won't be easy. That being said, sometimes a home situation is so bad that running away still looks like the better option. If you've thought it through and still want to run away, but run away successfully, it's time to start getting ready.
Steps
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Save up some cash. Ideally, you'll have at least $5,000 with you. That may sound like a lot, but $5,000 can seem to disappear in no time at all. The last thing you want is to realize the morning after your escape that you can't afford breakfast. If you get in a tight spot (which you likely will), you'll be glad you have the money.
- This is, of course, if you don't have a job and a place to stay lined up. If you're one of the lucky few who have a pre-approved destination in mind, you may be able to get by being a little more strapped for cash.
- It's always a good idea to have some money saved up before you leave home.
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Practice living like a runaway. Before you actually run away, you should practice living like you've done so – especially if you want to run away intelligently. This, by and large, means two things: [1] X Research source
- Find ways to scavenge for food. Whether it's seeing what a few days off the dollar menu feels like or dumpster diving, practice. It's more than a good idea to see what you're in for, food and drink wise. Aside from those two ideas, we'll talk about what else you can do in the next section.
- Practice sleeping in uncomfortable places. When you're on the run, you'll be sleeping on benches, behind bushes, curled in corners – you name it. You won't be sleeping in your 1000-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets anymore that your body is used to. Sleeping in hard, uncomfortable places is only difficult if you're not used to. Get used to it beforehand and it's one less thing you have to worry about.
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If applicable, find somewhere to land. Sometimes runaways just go. That's the beauty of it. However, just going can be particularly stressful. It's better to go if you have a safe destination you know you can, at least, hunker down in for a while until you get your own two feet on the ground. If you had to go somewhere else right now, where would it be?
- Youth shelters are a good place to start. They're not a good place to stay forever, but they can give you that time to get your situation figured out.
- A friend or extended family member can be good, too, but do know that puts them in a tough place when it comes to your parents. They are legally bound to say they know where you are if your parents have filed a report on your disappearance. However, you may be able to get away with a few days, no questions asked (and food on the table).
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Pack your bag well. A good, waterproof backpack should be what you're working with (you never know if you'll get caught in the snow or rain). Inside should be a warm sleeping bag, a flashlight (spare batteries), a water bottle with a filter, storable food, a compass, layered clothing, a knife to defend yourself with, and your light valuable possessions. If you have a room, it can also be nice to have a pillow with you. Everything else will just have to go.
- Remember that you're taking this wherever you go, like a backpacker. It'll be annoying as much as it'll be useful. Also, remember that what you carry around determines your look. Do you look like a backpacker, tourist, or shifty runaway?
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Leave a note. Though it may seem counterintuitive, be sure to hide a note informing the authorities of your intent to run away so they do not believe it to be a kidnapping (or worst case, murder). The authorities are going to investigate a kidnapping more thoroughly than a runaway case.
- Do not be afraid to hide this note fairly well; the authorities will find it during their search no matter how well it is hidden and discovery by your guardian would likely lead to immediate notification of authorities.
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Leave when the weather is good. If it's the dead of winter and nights reach below zero, you're as bright as Napoleon was attacking Russia in January. To give yourself a better shot, wait until the weather gets nicer. You'll be spending a large amount of time outside – day and night – so it's best to have mother nature on your side.
- Sleeping inside sometimes lets us forget just how cold it gets at nights. Bring long underwear and warm clothing with you, even if you're not sure you'll need it. It's better to be safe than sorry, and warmth is a necessity.
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Wear sunglasses and make up to hide your identity. Also do not take clothes that you wear often. Blend in with the group.
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Get on a bus or train. Once you're out of the house (whether it's after school or while the parents are asleep), get to the nearest bus or train station. Take a look at the schedule, and get one whichever one comes next. Hop on, and you're out of there. Now here's a few things to keep in mind:
- If you decide to travel across country borders, try to do so within the first 12 hours of departure. Your passport photo will be easily recognizable by border control after your parent has had you declared an official missing person.
- You are less likely to be recognized if you are not nearby your home. Although this may sound slightly crazy, it's actually easier to run away to a foreign country, especially in Europe, because you will likely be mistaken for just another American tourist with a lot of luggage.
- Don't talk about your story to other passengers. They may not take pity on you (and instead take pity on your parents) and alert the police to your situation. If anyone asks, either come up with a story or tell them you'd just like to keep to yourself.
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Don't let yourself get caught electronically. Do not bring your cell phone, iPod, iPad or any other portable electronic devices with you. They can and will track you down using these devices. If you need a communication device to carry out your plans, bring enough money to buy a simple cell phone and some credit. It won't be fancy, but it'll be a number.
- Don't update your social media either. Saying, "I'm so tired of this crap. I'm going to run away!" is not a brilliant idea. What's more, never go on your old Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Youtube, Gmail or any other web based account again once you leave. They can easily track you using these sites.
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If necessary, change your appearance. If you know people are searching for you and you don't want to be found, you'll need to change what you look like to raise fewer eyebrows. The easiest thing to do will be to cut and dye your hair. Wherever you do this (though it will likely be a public bathroom), be sure to clean up after yourself. In the worst case scenario, police take your hair and get your DNA from it, getting closer to your whereabouts.
- It's also a good idea to gain weight, if possible (within reason, of course). Losing weight is to be expected – those looking for you will assume you're becoming thinner as the days go by because you're not eating.
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Never try to contact friends after leaving unless you are 100% sure they will not inform the authorities. The fact of the matter is that you're going to get lonely. You're going to be tempted to call people from your past, but if you want them to stay part of your past, you can't. Only if you are absolutely, positively confident they will not inform the authorities should you even think about it.
- And even then, exercise caution. They may tell someone who will tell someone who will tell the authorities. The gossip chain is usually pretty hard to pin down, and it's always flowing from ear to ear somewhere.
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Find somewhere to sleep. If you don't have a bed to sleep in (which will be the case most nights), the best spots to sleep are in the bushes, at the park, or in the woods or large, empty fields. In short, being out of the city is best. However, if you're stuck there, go somewhere that's open 24 hours a day, like a train or bus station. [2] X Research source
- If you are in a place surrounded by people, know that you have a higher chance of police or concerned pedestrians questioning you about your predicament. Always be prepared with a back-story.
- Make sure that wherever you are that's empty at night is still empty in the morning. That church parking lot on Saturday evening may seem safe and secure, but come Sunday morning you'll be regretting that assumption.
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Eat on the cheap. Food is expensive. Apart from eating cheaply at grocery stores by just buying loaves of bread, cheese, and peanut butter, you should also work eating for free into your repertoire. Here are some ideas:
- Dumpsters behind grocery stores and restaurants often throw out the food they can't sell. It's not necessarily old, they just can't sell it. Go at night after closing and you may be rewarded.
- Poke around at buffets. When a party gets up, you go in for the pounce. Uneaten food for the win.
- Ask. If you go to a restaurant, cafe, or hospital, they may take pity on you and give you some of the food they know they probably won't or can't sell. Just remember to put on your kindest smile when you do so.
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If possible, get a job. If you're sixteen or older, you may be able to get a job and settle down in your new location. It's the best way to keep your cash flowing – and besides, you didn't want to go back home anyway, right? If you can give them a phone number, an address, and look showered, you may be in.
- If you're not sixteen or you admitting your identity is a problem, see if you can find day-to-day, cash-in-hand work. This will likely be manual labor but, at least, it's something. Answering flyers posted to community boards and checking sites like Craigslist are your best bets.
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Find cheap living quarters. Essentially, you have four options: living with a friend, living on the streets, living in a youth shelter, or squatting. They all have their advantages and disadvantages (namely, squatting is illegal). That being said, in time you'll need to find a place – if you can land a job and then find a cheap room to rent (rented by roommates, not a landlord), that's ideal. You don't want to live forever as a runaway.
- Whatever you do, do not steal any items from wherever you are staying. This makes you a wanted criminal, and you are now being hunted much more so than if you had just run away.
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Hitchhike. Maybe you've decided that wherever you are, you can't stay. That's okay. If you're out of cash, one of your options is to hitchhike. It's illegal in many places, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Here are the details: [3] X Research source
- Position yourself near a gas station near the entrance to a freeway or highway. You will then be able to approach the drivers that you think may give you a ride (young and old people are best; avoid those in suits and those that look crazy). If that's not an option, get near the on-ramp or a low-speed road – the drivers need time to see you and slow down.
- When someone does stop, act approachable, happy, and comfortable with your situation. And then survey them: do you want to ride with them? Trust your gut; if it says no, politely decline. If it says yes, get in, put your bag in the back, and keep your hands on your knees (to show that you're not a threat).
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Or jump trains. Don't want to hitchhike, eh? Then your next free-transport method of travel is jumping trains. It's not relaxing, but it can get you from point A to point B. Here's how to get started: [4] X Research source
- Go to your local train station and get a copy of the schedule. Find the train you want to take to your preferred destination. When it arrives, get on a middle car when an agent steps away from the door. Sit down as if you came from a prior stop, and keep an eye out for the agent. When you see him or her coming for your ticket, hop into the bathroom. If he or she actually knocks on the bathroom, be on the toilet and none too happy about being intruded upon. Your only other option is wandering about the entire time, never really sitting down.
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Prepare yourself against getting robbed. The world isn't a very friendly place, especially when your peers are the ones that live on the street, too. If you act afraid and make yourself a target, you may find yourself the victim of a petty crime and without all your cash and belongings. Keep these points in mind: [5] X Research source
- Act confident wherever you go. Being nervous invites those looking for prey to come up to you and take advantage of you. Carry a knife with you for self-defense (it's not pretty advice, but it's real).
- Use a secret compartment in your backpack, if possible. If they raid your stuff, they may skip over the lining of your bag – you can keep a small laptop or something flat in there to mirror the structure of the bag.
- There's such a thing as "adventure underwear," and it has pockets. Thieves will generally not check your underwear, so keeping a wad of cash in there is a pretty safe bet.
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4If you are in a public area, walk into the nearest store. Chances are they won't follow.
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Know your legal situation. If you live in the states, it is illegal to run away from home under the age of 18 in Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Nebraska, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, and Wyoming. If you get caught or return home, you may be facing a penalty. In other countries, it varies by jurisdiction. And even if it is not illegal, you generally do not have rights if found and will be escorted home, even if it is against your will. It's important to go in with this knowledge so you know what you're in for.
- If you have run away several times, you may become a child of the state and be forced into the foster system, or otherwise away from your home when found. You are then deemed a "Child in Need of Supervision" and the courts will determine what to do with you. Because of situations like this, it's best to avoid the authorities at all costs.
- If you are in a foreign country that speaks a different language and you get confronted by the police, pretend not to speak English. It really helps to be bilingual in this situation, even if it is a language different than the native one of the country you're in to try to fool the police into thinking you are from a country other than your actual homeland.
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Call a runaway hotline. If worst comes to worst, you can always call a runaway hotline in your country. They can either set you up temporarily at a shelter or even pay for your ticket home (bus or train, usually). They also offer counsel and can be an understanding ear should you need one.
- In the US, that number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. In the UK, Childline offers similar services at 0800 1111. Covenant House, based in Los Angeles but operating in many countries in North America and Central America, offers shelter to youth, and their main number is (323) 461-3131. [6] X Research source
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Tips
- Try to make new friends with your new name after leaving to erase any feelings of loneliness.Thanks
- If you are running away to a foreign country, make sure it is a safe one. If you are a 15-year-old girl, running away to Ciudad Juárez is not the smartest thing you could do. You should also try to make sure you speak the country's language.Thanks
- You may want to alert your parents that you are still alive after you reach the age of 18, as you will still be an official missing person until you do so.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Another place to hide money and documents is under the insoles of your shoes. When I travel, I always keep emergency cash and copies of my passport there.
- Use the COVID-19 pandemic to your advantage. If you wear a facemask as well as a hoodie, you won't be as recognizable.
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Warnings
- Never stay in one place too long. Staying somewhere too long can easily get you noticed and caught.Thanks
- The stats on runaways aren't pretty. In the US, around 30% try to commit suicide. 63% have been or are depressed, and the vast majority experience problems at school (if they go) or with drugs or alcohol (or both). Half of females on the street get pregnant. Therefore, running away is only encouraged if it is your very last resort.Thanks
- Exercise common sense. By running away, you can face the risk of getting caught, mugged, raped, kidnapped, or murdered. It is something you might regret for the rest of your life.Thanks
- Never run away if you got in a fight with someone. Talk with them instead or call a crisis phone line for help.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201104/run-away-home
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/running-away.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/202004/addicts-jaywalkers-and-hitchhikers
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/think-act-be/201504/mind-the-gap
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-search-for-meaning-after-age-50/202303/prepare-yourself-now-for-the-changing-world
- ↑ https://www.covenanthouse.org/aboutus
About This Article
Article Summary
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To run away intelligently, keep in mind that running away isn't fun or glamorous, and you'll likely have to sleep on the street, scrounge for food, and put yourself in potentially dangerous situations. If you have to run away though, try to save up as much cash as possible beforehand so you have money to get you by for a little while. Also, try to have a destination that you're running away to, like a youth shelter or a friend's or family member's house, so you're not wandering aimlessly. If you're serious about running away, you can call a runaway hotline, like 1-800-RUNAWAY, for help finding a shelter or just to talk to someone. To learn how to survive as a runaway, scroll down.
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- "I don't want to go by my real name, so I am calling myself Draven Spark. This sounds like a good article to me, I have had a lot of problems with my family, they always in a mean way rebuke me for a lot of things. I am considering running away soon." ..." more
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"I don't want to go by my real name, so I am calling myself Draven Spark. This sounds like a good article to me, I have had a lot of problems with my family, they always in a mean way rebuke me for a lot of things. I am considering running away soon."
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"When I was eight, I got taken away from my mom; she was a alcoholic and wanted us to live with our aunt because she was closest to her. My dad was never in the picture. My aunt, since then, has always been strict, never trusts me, doesn't let me have freedom and has always verbally abused me. I had enough with her and told my trusted friend I wanted to run away, and she offered to help me. "
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"My parent found out that I was a lesbian and was very unsupportive. I have been considering running away but I was always too scared. Seeing all of these success stories really turned that for me and this article was like a miracle, I am only 12 and I am still a bit scared but who wouldn't be, but I am ready and I can wait. (Maybe we'll even meet someday.)"
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