How to Tell if Your Colleague Has a Crush on You: Expert Tips

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Is she just being friendly, or is she looking for something more?
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There’s nothing like a workplace romance! It makes going into the office so much more exciting—but how do you know if your coworker is actually vibing with you, or just being nice? There are a few telltale signs your female colleague is hardcore crushing on you, and we’ve listed them all. Check them out, below!
This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, John Keegan. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Smiling, maintaining eye contact, and offering compliments are all signs she might like you (but keep in mind she might also just be polite).
  • Flirting and going out of her way to touch you or spend time with you are pretty big hints that she likes you.
  • More direct signs include texting you outside of work, asking if you're seeing anyone else, or just straight-up asking you out on a date!
1

She smiles at you.

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  1. Your coworker might like you as more than just a coworker if she always seems happy to be around you—because, let’s be honest, most of us are not exactly stoked to be at work. If she always has a smile around you, it might be an indication she’s into you.
    • Make sure she’s not just a smiley person in general: peep her expression when she’s interacting with your other colleagues to see if her behavior toward you is unique.
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2

She goes out of her way to be near you.

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  1. You look over your shoulder and she’s there. She’s always getting to work at the same time as you, sitting by you at lunch, or asking you for help on a project. Maybe her desk chair seems to be a few inches closer to yours every time you come back from the bathroom. If she’s going out of her way to get near you, it’s a pretty strong sign she likes you.
    • If you like her back, reciprocate: sit next to her during team meetings, or inch closer to her when you notice her inching closer to you!
    • If you don't like her back or aren't comfortable with her behavior, you can subtly shut it down by inching away from her when she gets too close or purposefully getting to lunch late so you can avoid sitting near her.
3

She touches you.

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  1. The workplace isn’t exactly a prime place to instigate PDA, but if she likes you, she’ll probably hint as much via discrete physical contact. She might show her affection with little arm touches, “accidental” hand brushes, or a high-five that lasts just a few seconds too long.
    • If you’re uncomfortable with her touches, indicate as much with your body language : stand a few feet away when speaking to her, and cross your arms to indicate disinterest. If she persists, let her know directly you’re not comfortable being touched, or take the matter to HR, if you don’t feel comfortable speaking to her.
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4

She compliments you.

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  1. A gal who likes you will let you know it with flattery and mucho flirtation. Maybe she compliments your outfits or hairstyle, or pumps you up by acknowledging your work ethic.
    • Again, observe how she speaks with your fellow coworkers: is she pretty loose with her compliments? It might just be her personality! If she reserves her positive talk for you only, though, that’s a good sign.
5

She talks about you to others.

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  1. Are your other coworkers always telling you the latest thing she’s said about you, whether complimentary or teasing? If the girl is constantly talking about you when you’re not around, she’s got a fixation.
    • It might not even always be complimentary things! If she just seems determined to bring you up in every conversation, it’s because she’s always thinking of you.
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6

Other coworkers think she likes you.

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  1. If you happen to work in a large office or open workspace, it can be hard to keep your crushes to yourself. So if everyone’s water cooler talk centers on you and your admirer, odds are good she really does have a thing for you.
    • Your coworkers might even tease you, her, or both of you. (OK, they probably won’t start singing “Johnny and Lola sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” but whatever the grownup version is of that, maybe.)
7

She makes eye contact.

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  1. Whether she holds your gaze while you’re chatting or you catch her sneaking glances when she thinks you’re not looking, this could be a sign she’s into you. If you like her back, return her eye contact with a smile .
    • Be careful, though: she may just be making eye contact when you speak because she's polite and respectful. Observe if she seems to watch you when you're not interacting; this suggests she's thinking of you even when you're not talking.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1547 wikiHow readers to tell us what the clearest indicator was that a girl liked them, and 50% said prolonged eye contact. [Take Poll] Every girl is different (and you shouldn’t assume she likes you unless she says so), but this could be a strong sign that she’s interested!
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8

She does nice things for you.

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  1. When you need an uncrumpled dollar for the vending machine, she’s always got one for you. When you’re overloaded with work, she’s ready and willing to lend a hand. If your coworker is always going out of her way to be nice, it could be a sign she likes you as more than just a coworker.
    • One of the biggest ways to tell if someone likes you is by noting whether they treat you differently from other people. So be sure to observe her behavior towards your fellow coworkers: does she do favors for them too? Or are you special?
9

She gravitates to you at work events.

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  1. If you're her go-to buddy during holiday shindigs in the breakroom or dull weekly team meetings, it's pretty undeniable she values the relationship you two have. It's possible she just views you as a friend, but there's also a chance she likes you as something more than that.
    • Note whether she ever invites dates to work events where a date might be appropriate. If she doesn't, it's possible she views you as her date.
    • Does she double-check with you (or your coworkers) to make sure you're attending an event before she agrees to go? That could be a sign she has a crush on you!
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10

She talks about non-work things.

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  1. If she likes you, whether as a friend or something more, she might talk to you about her favorite book, her pet, her family, her weekend plans, anything non-work-related. The deeper and more personal the subject, the more likely it is that she likes you romantically and relies on you for emotional support.
    • Just talking about her favorite episode of the TV show you both like could constitute "workplace chitchat," so don't assume any non-work-related topic is a sign of love.
    • But if she dives into the intricacies of her relationship with her mom or confides in you about her secret passion for painting, it's a sign she trusts you and values your opinions.
11

She remembers things about you.

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  1. When you get a haircut, she notices. Just when you think nobody’s remembered your birthday, she wishes you many happy returns. If it feels like your coworker is always watching you or keeping track of the little things about you, it’s likely she has a crush on you.
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12

She seems nervous around you.

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  1. Maybe her voice gets high or squeaky when she speaks to you, or maybe she blushes. Watch for signs of nervousness when you interact with her: they could mean she likes you and is suffering from some anxiety about it!
    • Observe her behavior when she interacts with others, too: what you might perceive as signs of love could be general social anxiety!
13

She asks personal questions.

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  1. Asking personal questions is an effective way to get to know someone better, and talking to you about non-work-related things is a sign she’s interested in you as more than just a colleague. If she’s always asking you questions about your life, your family, your weekend plans, she might be trying to get closer to you.
    • The frequency and depth of her questions will really reveal whether she likes you or is just making chitchat. If she only asks you questions once in a while, or if she sticks to surface-level stuff, she might just be making idle conversation.
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14

She texts you outside work.

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  1. For many people, coworkers are coworkers, and when you clock out for the day, you don’t usually see them or talk to them unless it’s work-related. So if this girl is hitting you up when she’s not obligated to, that’s a sign she at least wants to be friends outside of work.
    • She might not just text you—she might also add you on social media, slide into your DMs, or ask if you want to hang out.
    • It’s possible she only feels a platonic bond with you and wants to get to know you better in the real world. If you’re up for getting to know her better too, just go with the flow: maybe it’ll end in a romance, or maybe you’ll gain a really good friend for life.
15

She tries to be alone with you.

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  1. Pay attention: does it seem like you both take breaks at the same time, or you’re always walking to the bathroom together? Does she wait at the bus stop with you after work? She may want to be alone with you to get to know you better and enhance the intimacy between you.
    • Meanwhile, only hanging out when other coworkers are present may just mean she views you both as “one of the gang.”
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16

She asks you if you’re seeing anyone.

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  1. If she’s interested in your romantic life, it’s probably because she wants to know if she stands a chance. Be upfront about your availability.
    • If you let her know you’re already seeing someone and she persists in flirting, she might not care that you’re unavailable! In this case, you can try to spend less time with her, but if she continues to pursue, it might be time to shut it down directly.
    • You can say, “Look, Sasha, I think you’re super cool, but I’m not really comfortable with the attention you’ve been giving me lately, especially since I’m already with someone.”
17

She asks you out.

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  1. This sign might seem obvious, but it counts! If she straight-up asks you out, you can safely assume she likes you . The only question left to answer now is, what do you say back?
    • If you like her and want to go out, go for it —just remember it might affect your workplace dynamic, and depending on your job, employee relationships might be discouraged.
    • If you’re not into her or not available to date, let her down easy : “I’m so flattered, Marla, but unfortunately, I just don’t feel the same way/I’m already seeing someone.”
    • If you know your coworker is in a relationship already…well, you can still date her, but it’s not the wisest or most considerate move, and it’s likely to end in a mess. If you want to let her down, still do it gently.
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