Signs That Someone Is a Swinger

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A non-judgmental breakdown of popular swinger symbols and codes
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Swingers, aka couples who engage in consensual sex with other couples by swapping partners, are often portrayed as wild and radical party animals who are all about free love—even if that's not really the case. But since swinging is a little taboo, swingers reportedly use a secret code to signal that they’re open to “play” with other couples. But what are these codes and are they actually used? Here, we’ll cover the legit signs, plus tell you which ones are fake.

Swinger Signs

  • Pineapples are the most common swinger sign—especially upside-down pineapples.
  • Pampas grass fronds are a popular sign you’d find in a swinger's front yard.
  • A black ring on the right hand indicates someone is a swinger.
  • Flamingos are associated with swinging, primarily on cruise ships.
  • Garden gnomes placed in suggestive positions could indicate swingers.
  • White rocks are a sign of swingers in one community.
Section 1 of 3:

Signs of Swingers

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  1. We don’t know why, but it’s very likely that the pineapple’s status as an exotic fruit combined with the fact that the pineapple was a symbol of openness and welcoming in the mid-20th century led to the pineapple becoming the universal of swingers. If any swinger symbol is real, it’s this one. [1]
    • Remember, even if someone does have upside-down pineapple home décor, you still can’t know for sure that they’re a swinger. Maybe they just like weird fruit designs!
    • Is this a popular sign? Yes, especially if the pineapple is upside-down. This is easily the most common and legitimate symbol for a swinging couple.
    • Where would swingers put this symbol? Doormats, clothing, art, door knocks, tattoos, and basically anywhere they could ever want to advertise their lifestyle!
  2. The iconic pampas grass was a popular design element in the 1950s and 1960s. These dried-out leaves have become less popular over time, but they’ve seen a resurgence in the past 15-20 years as a symbol for swingers. [2]
    • Live pampas grass appears to be less popular than dried leaves as a swinger symbol.
    • Is this a popular sign? Yes, it does appear to be commonly used these days. Considering how unpopular pampas grass has become in the past 5 years (sales are down about 50%), the people intentionally highlighting pampas fronds are probably putting the signal out there on purpose. [3]
    • Where would swingers put this symbol? In the front yard, garden, or on clothing.
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  3. This symbol was first introduced on the Swap Fu Podcast, a podcast about open marriages. The idea is that a black ring on the right finger is uncommon enough to work as a good hidden code, but not so obvious and inexplicable that you couldn’t write it off as a fashion choice if you didn’t want someone to think you were a swinger. [4]
    • Just FYI, a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand is occasionally worn as a symbol of asexuality , so swingers in the know won’t use that finger. [5]
    • Is this a popular sign? Yes. This is newer code, but it’s catching on fast with swingers. However, there are a lot of people who like to wear rings, so you can’t assume a black ring on the right hand makes someone a swinger (which is kind of the whole point!).
    • Where would swingers put this symbol? On the right hand, obviously! Jokes aside, this ring isn’t going to appear on clothing or anything. It’s only used as jewelry.
  4. Pink flamingos probably became a symbol for swingers because they’re closely associated with the environment (and interior design styles) where you’d encounter palm fronds and pineapples. For unclear reasons though, it also seems uniquely popular to use pink flamingos as a swinger symbol when swinger couples take cruises. [6]
    • Is this a popular sign? Yes. Enough swingers have cited this as a symbol of their lifestyle that this seems relatively common. However, it’s not as popular as the other symbols, and a random flamingo is more likely to be innocuous than an upside-down pineapple, for example.
    • Where would swingers put this symbol? On cruise ships, you’ll see the flamingo on doors or clothing. Elsewhere, you might see them on clothing. It doesn’t seem very commonplace to put the flamingos in the yard as a sign of swinging, but it’s possible.
  5. This is probably the least likely symbol to represent a couple who is into swinging, but it may be a subtle code some people use. As the explanation goes though, this one only works if the gnomes are positioned suggestively or they’re tucked behind a rose bush. [7]
    • Is this a popular sign? Probably not. It seems like this might have been a common system in the past, but swingers don’t seem to claim this one anymore.
    • Where would swingers put this symbol? The front lawn. This is part of the issue with this secret symbol though, garden gnomes are common enough among hardcore monogamists that it seems like a tough system to use with any kind of efficacy.
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Section 2 of 3:

Swinger Signs That Are Myths

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  1. There does appear to be one gated community in Virginia where couples would use white landscaping rocks to signify that they were open to sexual experimentation. [8] However, that’s the only place confirmed to use the white rocks symbol, which makes sense considering how popular white landscaping rocks are. [9]
    • What’s the story? Apparently, there were rumors on military bases that any buildings with white rocks were where men and women would meet to satisfy one another when their partners were deployed. Over time, that rumor became an urban legend.
  2. Some imaginative folks out there are convinced that an outdoor hot tub indicates swingers live there. No dice—a hot tub in the yard is commonplace, no matter a person's sexual preferences.
    • What’s the story? Swingers often take dips in a hot tub with one another to hang out and have a drink before getting “down to business.” This story probably got its legs from hot tubs being popular with hippies and Californians in the mid-1900s, whom middle America associated with sexual freedom. [10]
  3. There are all kinds of jewelry designs and locations for jewelry that are supposedly tied to the swinger lifestyle, but we can’t find a ton of evidence (outside of the black ring on the right hand) that any of these are legit.
    • What’s the story? This is probably a byproduct of a modern company, Swinger Symbol, which sells distinctive jewelry with a swing symbol on it.
  4. This is a “newer” code and it’s supposedly exclusive to Florida retirement communities, but it’s not actually a symbol that swingers use. [11]
    • What’s the story? Supposedly, some retirement communities tie colorful loofahs to their car to indicate what kind of a swinger they are so that retired couples can find other couples to swing with. It turns out some retired people just use loofahs to make their car easier to find if they forget where they park. [12]
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Section 3 of 3:

Do swingers actually use secret signs?

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  1. It’s not the early 1900s anymore, so the stigmas behind consensual adults doing consensual things just aren’t that intense—especially if you live near other like-minded people, which swingers usually do. Frankly, a lot of swingers meet couples at swinger parties, swinger bars, or via mutual swinger friends. There’s just no need for a cryptic system a lot of the time.
    • There are also a bunch of online dating/personal sites oriented around the swinging lifestyle, too. That said, many swingers do enjoy meeting other couples “in the wild” and will use these symbols.
    • Some swingers mindfully use the popular swinger logos as a source of pride (the same way an Irish-American might wear a 3-leaf clover shirt, or a fan of death metal might get a Slayer tattoo).
  2. White landscaping rocks, for example, are employed as a sign for swingers in one specific area in Virginia. There are probably dozens of niche and unique sign systems out there that only apply to specific neighborhoods, cities, or communities, but that doesn’t make them universal signs as some would have you believe. [13]
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      • If you do want to know if someone is a swinger, you can’t rely on secret symbols. The only way to confirm for sure is to have an honest and non-judgmental conversation. Just know, nobody owes you an explanation when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, so if you don’t get an answer, don’t push it.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://wholesalenutsanddriedfruit.com/upside-down-pineapple-was-a-symbol-for-swingers-in-the-colonies/
      2. ↑ https://www.gardensillustrated.com/features/pampas-grass-comeback
      3. ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2017/may/31/pampas-grass-secret-symbol-swingers-turn-off-sales-plummeting
      4. ↑ https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/2015/01/15/21473735/swingers-encouraged-to-put-a-ring-on-itand-wait-how-many-swingers-are-there
      5. ↑ https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/2015/01/15/21473735/swingers-encouraged-to-put-a-ring-on-itand-wait-how-many-swingers-are-there
      6. ↑ https://www.cruisemummy.co.uk/pink-flamingos-meaning/
      7. ↑ https://doctordaliah.wordpress.com/2022/09/05/why-people-might-think-youre-a-swinger-even-if-youre-not/
      8. ↑ https://www.stripersonline.com/surftalk/topic/502694-white-rocks-in-the-garden-swingers/
      9. ↑ https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/188/do-white-rocks-in-the-front-yard-mean-swingers/
      1. ↑ https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2003-jun-03-et-mcnamara3-story.html
      2. ↑ https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/news/columns/2023/02/12/the-loofah-code-at-the-villages-a-story-thats-too-good-to-be-true/69884371007/
      3. ↑ https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/news/columns/2023/02/12/the-loofah-code-at-the-villages-a-story-thats-too-good-to-be-true/69884371007/
      4. ↑ https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/188/do-white-rocks-in-the-front-yard-mean-swingers/

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