This article was co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano
. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
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Lying. It’s never any fun when you’re on the receiving end, is it? Dishonesty can be toxic for all relationships, and can even be a sign of a deeper psychological issue. In this article, we’ll walk you through 12 types of liars and teach you how to deal with each one.
Things You Should Know
- Generally, people lie to make themselves look good or hide their own insecurities or fears.
- One of the best ways to deal with all types of liars is to ignore their lies, especially if you know what they said is false.
- If someone is telling a white lie to be nice or hide a mistake, try confronting them with the reassurance that it's usually better to tell the truth.
Steps
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A compulsive liar excessively lies to fabricate reality. Compulsive liars are those who lie over and over again. The dishonest behavior is second nature to them, and they may not even realize they’re lying half the time (despite displaying the classic signs of a liar). While compulsively lying isn’t classified as a disorder, it can be a sign of other mental health disorders, such as antisocial personality disorder. [1] X Research source
- Reasoning: Compulsive liars often make up stories and white lies because they fear criticism. For them, lying is a defense mechanism to protect them from reality. [2] X Research source
- How to Deal: Don’t engage in a compulsive liar’s lies. Instead, state simply, “That’s not true,” and walk away.
- The terms “compulsive” and “habitual” are often used interchangeably.
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A pathological liar is persistently dishonest for no reason. These liars tell small lies compulsively and habitually—it comes naturally to them. More often than not, their reality becomes tangled with their lies, mixing fact and fiction. Perhaps they exaggerate a story or don't tell the truth about what they had for breakfast. A pathological liar can have such a strong belief in their lies that they believe them to be true. [3] X Research source
- Reasoning: Pathological liars tend to have low self-esteem and will often lie to boost their ego, seek sympathy, or cure boredom. [4] X Research source
- How to Deal: Stop engaging in the conversation if you notice that they’re lying. Pathological liars want you to believe what they believe, and if you don’t indulge in the lie, they’ll likely move on.
- Like compulsive liars, pathological lying may be a sign of a personality or mental-health disorder; however, it’s more difficult to spot a pathological liar .
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A sociopathic liar lies on a routine basis to cause chaos. Their lying doesn’t start or end on occasion; it’s constant. Unlike other types of liars, a sociopath lies simply because they want to. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, and they rarely feel remorse for their actions. [5] X Research source
- Reasoning: Sociopathic liars lie to gratify their own needs. They want what they want and won’t hesitate to burn a few bridges to get it.
- How to Deal: Be honest with a sociopathic liar to derail their schemes. Call out their blatant lie with facts you know to be true with something like, “Really? See, I heard something different.”
- Sociopathic and psychopathic lying are generally the same thing, with the only difference being the personality disorder associated with their dishonesty.
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A manipulative liar uses flattery to twist the truth. These liars always have an end goal in mind. They’ll use their cunning conversational skills to tell you whatever you want to hear, even if that means twisting the truth. For instance, they may flatter a boss to get a promotion. A manipulative liar’s lies aren’t always malicious but can be harmful as they rely on falsely boosting someone else’s self-esteem. [6] X Research source
- Reasoning: Manipulative liars are dishonest to hide their faults and make themselves look better for their own personal gain.
- How to Deal: Don’t play into a manipulative liar’s flattery. It's nice to be complimented, but try to keep this liar at arm’s length to avoid their tricky advances.
- Manipulative liars are similar to narcissistic liars; however, narcissistic liars paint themselves as heroes or victims, while manipulative liars don’t.
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A narcissistic liar seeks attention but denies responsibility. These types of liars use gaslighting to fuel their lies. They may appear to be a “people person,” but their social connections often stem from exaggerations and lies. A narcissist’s lies may seem childish, as their lies are a people-pleasing game. [7] X Research source
- Reasoning: Narcissistic liars twist the truth to hide themselves. Deep down, they’re insecure and will do whatever it takes not to be vulnerable.
- How to Deal: Don’t engage in a narcissistic liar’s drama. Instead, take what they say with a grain of salt and analyze the facts. If what they say contradicts what you know, it’s probably a lie.
- Narcissistic liars are a type of compulsive liar; however, they appear to be a hero or victim when fabricating their reality.
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An intentional liar lies for enjoyment. These types of liars love the drama lying creates. They think lying is fun—an entertaining game they can play whenever they like. More often than not, their white lies, fibs, and exaggerations are mean-spirited and intended to stir the pot or push someone’s buttons.
- Reasoning: Intentional liars are deceptive for attention. They’re likely insecure and lie to boost their ego and appear powerful. [8] X Research source
- How to Deal: Avoid engaging in lies and gossip with an intentional liar. The more you react to their lies, the more lies they’ll create.
- Unlike pathological liars, intentional liars are fully aware of the dishonest web they weave.
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A white liar tells little, harmless lies here and there. These types of liars don’t lie every single day; they only twist the truth when they feel like they have to. Perhaps they flake on a friend or don’t want to tell someone the whole truth. In these cases, white liars will tell a small, white lie that works in their favor. [9] X Research source
- Reasoning: White liars often fib to bend the truth for the sake of someone else’s feelings, whether that’s to ease their mind or hide the truth.
- How to Deal: Confront a white liar if you think they’ve lied. Be honest with them, and ask what and why they hid the truth. More often than not, the truth will come out.
- Telling too many white lies can easily turn into compulsive or pathological lying, as relying on white lies can quickly become habitual.
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A careless liar doesn’t care about the implications of lying. This type of liar is often sloppy or careless when it comes to bending the truth. They likely won’t try to hide it or put much thought into forming the “perfect lie.” Instead, they’ll spew whatever comes to mind, often leading to further lies or conversational hiccups. [10] X Research source
- Reasoning: Careless liars typically lie on the spot to cover up a mistake, fear, or insecurity. The lie hastily comes out to protect themselves from facing the truth.
- How to Deal: Call a careless liar out on their lie to halt them in their tracks. They know they’re lying, and confronting them and genuinely asking how they’re doing may help them admit it.
- A careless liar’s lies are usually easy to spot because they don’t formulate a clever story or tale beforehand.
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An occasional liar tells a lie once in a blue moon. Occasional liars don’t rely on dishonesty day in and day out—it’s not a regular thing for them. Lying often makes them feel guilty, so they’ll only do it when they believe it’s absolutely necessary to protect themselves or someone else. For instance, perhaps they make up a story to hide a surprise birthday party or muddle the fact that they were out later than their curfew. [11] X Research source
- Reasoning: Occasional liars may tell a white lie or exaggerated story to hide a truth they fear may hurt themselves or someone they care for.
- How to Deal: Chances are, an occasional liar’s guilt will get to them sooner or later. If they don’t approach you first, confront them with a simple, “Hey, did you lie to me?” if you suspect they’ve lied.
- Occasional liars can also be called protective liars because they desire to protect themselves or others.
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An impressive liar aims to be the best. This type of liar wants to be the most impressive of the group. They’ll exaggerate stories and tell white lies to look like the hero. For instance, the classic “I caught a fish this big” tale is often told by an impressive liar.
- Reasoning: Impressive liars want to feel self-assured and liked by others and often lie to hide insecurities or embarrassment. [12] X Research source
- How to Deal: Let an impressive liar’s lie roll off you. If something sounds too good to be true, say, “Yeah, sure,” and walk away or change the topic.
- An impressive liar doesn’t lie to be malicious or mean-spirited. They lie to fabricate the truth to match their wild version of reality.
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An avoidant liar lies to deflect conflict. Avoidant liars don’t lie to scheme, manipulate, or intentionally harm; they lie to keep the peace. Conflict is their worst nightmare, and these liars often dance around the truth to avoid a difficult conversation. Perhaps they lie to their boss that they're late because they had an appointment or blame the dog for stinking up the room when they’re on a date. [13] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Reasoning: Avoidant liars are likely dishonest to avoid confrontation.
- How to Deal: Don’t let an avoidant liar drag you away from an important conversation. Instead, sit them down and reassure them that the truth is best.
- Avoidant liars don’t usually lie every day; however, the more they lie, the easier it’ll become and the more often they’ll do it.
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A tactful liar tells the most optimistic lies. Think you look bad in a pair of jeans? A tactful liar will tell you you look fantastic regardless of if you do. These types of liars are always looking to please others, even if that means telling a white lie or fib here and there. Their lies aren’t malicious by any means, but they could instill false hope in others.
- Reasoning: Tactful liars want everyone to feel loved and supported. They never want anyone to feel bad about themselves.
- How to Deal: Take everything a tactful liar says with a grain of salt (and perhaps avoid asking for fashion advice).
- Tactful liars usually don’t recognize that they’re lying. To them, they’re just being a supportive friend.
Expert Q&A
Tips
- A liar can tell deceitful, duplicitous, delusional, or demoralized lies, depending on the type of liar they are and their intent.Thanks
- Deceitful lies falsify facts and reality and are often used by compulsive and pathological liars.Thanks
- Duplicitous lies twist a liar’s values so they appear “two-faced.” These lies are often said by narcissistic and manipulative liars.Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about deception, check out our in-depth interview with Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS .
References
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/george-santos-and-the-psychology-of-compulsive-lying-2023-2
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oct/16/my-sister-is-a-compulsive-liar-should-i-cut-her-out-of-my-life
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-nature-deception/202009/what-is-pathological-lying
- ↑ https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/reality-check-what-drives-pathological-liars-and-how-should-you-deal-with-them/
- ↑ https://sc.edu/study/colleges_schools/cic/journalism_and_mass_communications/news/2018/pr_prose_types_of_liars.php#.ZFz0vi2B2YY
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-lies-and-conflict/201806/how-flatterers-can-manipulate-and-control-in-relationships
- ↑ https://sc.edu/study/colleges_schools/cic/journalism_and_mass_communications/news/2018/pr_prose_types_of_liars.php#.ZFz0vi2B2YY
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/deception
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/captivating-crimes/202106/pseudologia-fantastica-how-deal-pathological-liars