How to Urinate in the Ocean Discreetly

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Sometimes, the closest bathroom at the beach is too far away for you to reach in time. This leaves you little choice but to go right where you are. Beaches are public places and are often filled with people. Luckily, there are ways to go about your business discreetly so that no one will suspect. This article will show you how to do that.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Finding a Suitable Spot

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    If there are some swimmers close by, move away from them. Even if they don't see you do your business, they may feel the sudden warmth and become suspicious. Move to the left or right, instead of deeper into the ocean.
    • Do not go so far away that you can no longer see or hear other people. You want to be within sight and hearing/shouting distance, in case something happens. [1]
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    Lots of fish and other sea animals live there. Some of them could harm you, while others could be harmed by you. [2]
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    The further away you go from other people, the more likely you are to come across some sea critters. Stay clear any marine life, including other fish, sharks, and jellyfish. You may hurt them, or they may hurt you.
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    While urinating in the ocean can be beneficial to the marine plants, it can be harmful to coral reefs. Urine helps marine plants grow—including algae. This can result in algae growing out of control on a coral reef and blocking out the sunlight it needs. This could suffocate and kill the coral reef. [3]
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    Try to keep a distance of at least 100 feet (30.48 meters) from these places. Both piers and jetties tend to be surrounded by rip currents, which are very dangerous. [4]
    • Rip currents are very strong ocean currents. They flow away from the shore. [5] The last thing you'd want is to get caught in one.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Urinating in Calm Waters

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    This will keep your private parts hidden from view.
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    Never turn your back on the ocean. Even if the water seems calm and the waves small, a large wave can come up suddenly.
    • These sudden waves are known as rogue and sleeper waves. They can be very dangerous if they catch you unawares. [6]
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    This is so that you do not expose yourself. Don't worry, everything will rinse off in the water.
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    This will help everything flow out easier. Pretend that you are enjoying the nice view. This will help people from suspecting what you are up to.
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    There will still be some residue on you and your swimsuit. If you are wearing swim shorts, simply take hold of one of the legs and give them a little shake. If you are wearing a bikini or a one-piece swimsuit, take hold of the bottom part, right between the leg holes. Pull down on it for a moment, then let go.
    • Be sure to wash your swimsuit using warm water and soap when you get home. This will prevent bad smells.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Urinating in Rough or Choppy Waters

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    You want to be able to sit in the ocean without the water coming past your chest. Be sure to face the horizon and incoming waves.
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    Even if you are only knee-deep in the water, you still need to keep an eye out for waves. Small waves can suddenly turn into large waves.
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    Even if part of you is hidden in the water, it is still a good idea to keep your swimsuit on.
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    Make sure that your thighs are not touching. Lean back slightly, and support your weight on your palms. Pretend that you are enjoying the water. You should still be facing the horizon.
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    If you don't like the feeling of sand against your skin, you can try squatting or crouching instead. You may need to go a little bit deeper into the ocean for this. Do not go so deep that the water goes past your chest. Act like you are taking a rest, or people may begin to suspect.
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    Once you are finished, continue sitting or crouching in the water for a little bit. If you stand up too soon, people may catch on to what you just did.
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    You will need to shift forward to a crouching, squatting, or kneeling position. If you do not do this, you may get sand inside your swimsuit. Make sure that your waist and everything below is still underwater. If you are wearing swim shorts, take hold of one of the legs. Give it a few quick shakes, then let go. If you are wearing a one-piece swimsuit or a bikini, start by taking hold of the bottom—the swatch of fabric right between the two leg holes. Tug down gently and then let go after a few seconds.
    • Wash your swimsuit when you get home with some soap and warm water. This will help prevent any bad smells.
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    Even though you are in water, there will still be some residue left over. If you are wearing swim shorts, grab hold of one of the legs by the cuff and shake it for a few seconds. If you are wearing a bikini or a one-piece swimsuit, take hold of the fabric between the leg holes. Pull down on it for a moment, then let go.
    • Remember to wash your swimsuit using soap and warm water when you get home. This will keep your swimsuit from getting smelly.
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    Is there a difference in the way men should do this versus women?
    Community Answer
    No. In the ocean, both men and women can urinate standing up or sitting down.
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  • Question
    Is it bad to pee in the ocean?
    Community Answer
    No, peeing in the ocean is harmless. Human urine is 95% water. The urea in urine combines with ocean water to form ammonium, which acts as food for ocean plant life.
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  • Question
    What if I don't see the marine life near me, like if a crab was awakened by my golden liquids?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    All marine life is afraid of you, they will swim away. They also avoid pollutants in the water, and will not be attracted to it. It also dilutes very rapidly in the currents.
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      Tips

      • If you don't act like you are doing your business, other people most likely won't catch on. Try to act as though you are enjoying the view or the water.
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      Warnings

      • Always supervise small children.
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      • Do not defecate in the ocean. This can spread bacteria and disease.
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      • Only use these steps in extreme emergencies. It's more appropriate to use a restroom for relieving yourself.
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      • Be aware of your surroundings. Watch out for large waves, strong currents, and marine animals, including sharks and jellyfish. [7]
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      • Do not use these methods in a swimming pool. The chlorine in pools does not remove urine. Instead, it reacts with urine to create harmful chemicals. [8]
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      References

      1. ↑ American Red Cross, Beach Safety
      2. ↑ American Red Cross, Beach Safety
      3. ↑ Business Insider, Is It OK to Pee in the Ocean?
      4. ↑ American Red Cross, Beach Safety
      5. ↑ California Department of Parks and Recreation, Ocean Safety
      6. ↑ California Department of Parks and Recreation, Ocean Safety
      7. ↑ Surfing Handbook, Ocean Safety
      8. ↑ Time, No, It's Not Safe to Pee in the Pool, Says Science

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