This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara
and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano
. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
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What message is a guy trying to send when he double texts? Does he have a crush, or does he just have a lot to say? If you've been staring at your phone trying to decode his texts, don't worry. We'll walk you through all the reasons a guy might hit you up twice. Here, you'll learn what's on his mind and the hints he's trying to drop when he double texts you.
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Maybe he has a huge crush on you and can’t resist reaching out. He can’t stop thinking about how you look, how magnetic you are, and how he feels when he’s around you. Since he’s been fantasizing or daydreaming about you, you’re the first person he wants to text: [1] X Research source
- He may text to compliment your pics on social media.
- He may point out your best physical features.
- He might compliment your style or the way you carry yourself.
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He may want to spark some chemistry so you’ll go on a date with him. He’d like to stand out from anyone else who might be pursuing you. He also hopes to use texts to his advantage so you’ll be drawn to him. He’s witty, flirty, and fun-loving, and he drops hints about a possible hangout.
- He may ask to switch from text messages to meeting up IRL.
- He might “innocently” bring up a restaurant you might like.
- He may also talk about fun activities, like checking out live music.
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Maybe he really enjoys your conversations, so he’s starting another one. You dazzle him with your charm, depth, and insight. Your discussions are the highlight of his day and he loves to know what’s on your mind. He’ll bring up a random topic or ask for your opinion on a matter because he appreciates the mental stimulation:
- He might ask you questions about recent events or current affairs.
- He may pick your brain about random topics.
- He might ask about your values or principles.
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He might be so fascinated by you that he needs more intel. Either he feels like he’s only scratched the surface or he just believes there’s always more to discover. He wants to build a deeper connection with you, so he messages more often so he can have more opportunities to learn about your past or your passions:
- He may ask about your ambitions or dreams for the future.
- He might be curious if you’re an introvert or an extrovert.
- He may encourage you to open up about your personality quirks.
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He may want to start your day off right and leave a nice note. Even if you two chatted the night before, he thinks it would be sweet to follow up with a quick “hello” to wake up to. He keeps it brief but throws in a kind gesture, like a compliment or fun emojis:
- He might thank you for chatting the night before.
- He may ask if you got enough rest the previous evening.
- He might check in and see what goals you have for the day.
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He might want to check up on you and make sure you’re okay. He’s built a rapport with you—either you made a strong impression right away, or you’ve known each other for a while and you matter a lot to him. Since he knows life has its ups and downs, he wants to know where you’re at:
- He may ask how your week went.
- He might ask to catch up if you haven’t spoken in a while.
- He may ask if there have been any recent developments in your life.
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He might be so thrilled to talk that he didn’t notice he double texted. He didn’t mean to send one message after the other, but he’s really enthusiastic and reached out as a reflex. He isn’t keeping track of his previous text and just has his mind on what he wants to say right now: [2] X Research source
- He might talk about a new show, game, or movie you recommended.
- He may talk about a cool fact or some trivia that blew his mind.
- He might invite you to hang out at a party with some mutual friends.
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He may just want to share a funny meme, gif, or joke. He loves to make you laugh and thinks you two bond over a similar sense of humor. He came across some silly content that he believes is perfect for you, so he’ll send it your way ASAP:
- He may share a video that really caught his eye.
- He might have stumbled on a meme that he thought you’d like.
- He may say a joke he believes you’ll really appreciate.
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Maybe he thinks another text might get him some approval or validation. When it comes to you, he may be a little “needy” or really attached to you. Your texts brighten his day and he really wants you to be a part of his life, so he’ll double text in order to get you to engage:
- He might admit that he misses your conversations.
- He may ask if you have any free time to talk.
- He might reach out to confirm that you’ll still hang out.
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He might be worried because he hasn’t heard from you in a while. You two might’ve spoken regularly—maybe every couple of days—so he finds it unusual if he doesn’t get an update from you. When he pings you, he wants to make sure you’ll both stay in touch:
- He may ask if everything is okay between the two of you.
- He might point out that there’s been a gap in your convos.
- He may confess that you’ve been on his mind and he’s concerned.
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He may want to confirm he hasn’t been “ghosted.” You two might’ve struck up a new friendship, connected over a dating app, or recently started hanging out. Either it’s too soon for him to know if you want to talk to him, or he’s concerned you’ve lost interest over time: [3] X Research source
- He might worry he said something wrong.
- He may open up and say he doesn’t want to lose his chance with you.
- He may be direct and ask if he’s been ghosted.
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He might be showing a red flag that he’s possessive or self-centered. In some rare cases, he wants to keep tabs on you and feels entitled to your time. He’ll keep messaging you because he expects to be the only guy you’ll talk to. He might also text often because he wants to control where the conversation goes: [4] X Research source
- He may pry and ask what you’ve been doing with your day.
- If you seem busy, he might want to know if you’re dating other people.
- He might ignore your previous texts and talk about himself instead.
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References
- ↑ https://www.pride.com/lovesex/2020/5/28/14-signs-hes-actually-you-and-not-just-being-polite#media-gallery-media-2
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a56567/what-his-texting-time-really-means/
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/what-guys-think-while-waiting-for-you-to-text-back
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/06/dear-therapist-my-boyfriend-extremely-possessive/613033/