How Long Should You Wait for a Second Date? Time Between Dates & When to Ask for the Second Date

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The first date is over and you're asking yourself, "Now what?" You might feel like you're in a strange limbo between dates, but the good news is you're not alone. Everyone tries to gauge the perfect time between dates, but there's truly no hard and fast rule about how long to wait. Read through these nuanced suggestions to figure out what works for you—you'll be confident and prepared for that second date!

Section 1 of 5:

How long should you wait between the first and second dates?

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  1. You want to build on the momentum of the first date, so text or call them to set up the next date . For instance, if you went out on a Tuesday night, you could make plans for the upcoming weekend. [1]
    • If you went out on a weekend, you might plan on meeting up during the middle of the next week or make plans for the following weekend.
    • It's totally fine to send them a text after your first date is over if you really think you're a match. After all, you shouldn't hide the fact that you're really into the person.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1491 wikiHow readers, and 53% of them agreed: the best time to ask for a second date is within a few days to a week after the first date. [Take Poll]
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Section 2 of 5:

When to Ask for the Second Date

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  1. If you two really hit it off, the sooner you ask, the better! [2] It's important to signal that you're interested because they're probably wondering how you thought the first date went. [3]
  2. Waiting tells the other person that you're not sure about a relationship. After the first date, this is perfectly acceptable. The second date should be a continuation of getting to know each other. You can wait to ask or just wait to hear from the other person. [5]
    • If you're waiting a few days, you might assume that their lives have gotten busy or maybe you've gotten sidetracked by your own projects and lost track of time. A little space between your first and second dates shouldn't be a big deal.
  3. A long break of time can signal disinterest, so decide if you want to wait. You might realize that you two didn't really hit it off and you'd rather accept someone else's offer of a date. [6] If it's been a week or two and you're still interested, it's fine to reach out to the other person, but they may not be as keen on a second date if it's taken so long to connect.
    • Sometimes, there are perfectly good reasons why someone doesn't call or text after a first date—maybe there was a family emergency or they were dealing with an injury. By reaching out, you at least give them the chance to explain.
    • You might realize that you're no longer interested in waiting and that's totally fine! If you haven't heard anything in a week or two, you probably want to move on.
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Section 3 of 5:

How can I ask someone on a second date?

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  1. If you know you want to see them again and you're ready to ask them out, think of a good date idea or two and see which one they prefer. If you make actual plans, you're more likely to go on the date than if you call and vaguely suggest that you hang out some time. [7]
    • For example, instead of saying, "I had fun the other night. We should do that again sometime," say, "The other night was fun. What do you say we go out this weekend and hit the arcade?"
    • Although you can text them to ask for a second date, calling them really signals your interest better.
  2. A lot of misunderstanding comes from communication in the early days of dating. Make it clear when you're free for a second date, so you don't leave the other person wondering about whether or not you're interested.
    • For instance, if you went out for dinner one weeknight, you might not be free until the following weekend.
    • Ask the other what their schedule looks like for the next few days or week when you're discussing a second date. You might say, "How does your weekend look?" or, "Are you free to get dinner together sometime this week?"
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Section 4 of 5:

What happens if I wait too long to ask?

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  1. A good first date can leave you feeling energized, curious, and interested in the other person. You want your second date to build on those exciting feelings, so if you wait too long to ask or the other person takes a long time to ask you out, things might feel flat between you. [8]
    • It's not the end of the world if some of the spark has gone out—it just means that you'll have to reconnect with them on the second date. Plan on being able to talk one-on-one with them, so you can rekindle interest.
Section 5 of 5:

Is the second date really that important?

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  1. It's also a second chance if you feel like the first date didn't go off as well as it should have. Maybe you were both too nervous or perhaps you got off on the wrong foot. A second date can be a fresh start and you might find that it's easier to talk to each other since you've already had the nerve-wracking first date. [9]
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Join the Discussion...

How long should I wait before the next date?
WikiToadDiver848
WikiToadDiver848
I went on a date with this really awesome girl and I’m super into her. Things went really well and the vibes were immaculate. We even kissed before calling it a night and made references to setting up a second date. It’s been 24 hours since our date and I’d like to reach out about setting the next one up, but I don’t want to come off as desperate or creepy or needy. What’s an appropriate time to wait between dates before you reach out? I really want this to go well.
WikiSalamanderFlyer757
WikiSalamanderFlyer757
If the vibes were truly immaculate, I think you’re good to reach out now—especially if 24 hours have passed since the date. When the spark is there like that, nobody is going to overthink it when it comes to the details about when someone reached out or not. Just think about it in reverse. If she reached out to set up the next date say, 12 hours ago, would you have thought, “Boy, she’s coming off as desperate and creepy.” No way, right? It’s the same thing here.

Now, if you aren’t positive the feelings were reciprocal, I think you should wait another 24-48 hours just to be safe. The odds she ends up in a committed, monogamous relationship in the 2-3 days after your first date are astronomically low, so you aren’t risking much by waiting a little bit. That also conveys the message that you’ve got stuff going on in your life, which is a good thing if you want to sweep someone off their feet. Good luck, bud!
WikiAntelopeWatcher458
WikiAntelopeWatcher458
You probably won't find this answer super helpful but there aren't any hard and fast rules for when you should set up another date with someone. You just have to take into account your feelings for them and what your schedule allows. If you really like her, 24 hours is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to wait before reaching out to set the next date up. Honestly, you probably could've texted right after the end of your first date.

On my first date with my current boyfriend, I set up our next date while we were still on our date! I invited him to go see a show with me the next day, and he was excited to spend more time with me :) Don't get in your head too much and overthink it. The right person won't lose interest in you just because you didn't wait the right number of hours to ask them out again. Go for it! Good luck.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://bestlifeonline.com/text-after-first-date/
      2. ↑ Louie Felix. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love-the-scientific-take/202108/following-after-first-date
      4. ↑ Louie Felix. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
      5. ↑ https://www.muscleandfitness.com/women/dating-advice/answers-from-a-hot-girl-how-long-should-i-wait-to-call-after-a-first-date/
      6. ↑ Louie Felix. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
      7. ↑ https://www.regain.us/advice/dating/how-to-get-a-second-date/
      8. ↑ https://romancoholic.com/how-long-between-dates/
      9. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8259903/second-date-more-important-than-the-first/

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