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There are few things more frustrating than pouring your heart out to a guy over text, only to have him respond with the dreaded “K.” Luckily, if your dude tends to clam up over text, there are things you can do to help bring him out of his shell. Read on for our tips on how to handle a dry texter.

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1

Avoid making assumptions.

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  1. When you’re texting, you can’t hear a guy’s tone of voice or see his facial expressions and body language. That means it can be really easy to misinterpret text messages, especially short ones. [1] Before you assume that those dry texts mean he’s bored, upset, or being passive-aggressive, think about other possibilities. For example, it’s possible that:
    • He doesn’t like texting or isn’t used to it
    • He’s busy or distracted
    • He doesn’t realize that his short texts could come off as rude
    • He wants to chat, but he isn’t sure what to say
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3

Try changing the subject.

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  1. Or, it’s possible that the topic you’ve been talking about is sensitive for him. Whatever the reason, if it seems like he’s clamming up all of a sudden, sometimes changing the subject can help. Say something to make the transition to a new topic feel more natural. [3]
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4

Ask him some open-ended questions.

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  1. If you tend to ask a lot of “yes” or “no” questions, the dude you’re chatting with might not realize you’re looking for something a little more substantial. The same goes if you’re just telling him things without actually inviting him to respond in some way. Try to get the conversation flowing by asking questions that start with who, what, where, when, why, or how. [6]
    • For instance, instead of just saying, “Did you have a good day?” try something like, “How was work today?” or “So, what have you been up to this weekend?”
    • If you tell him something, follow up with a question. For example, you might say something like, “That snowstorm was crazy last night, we must have gotten at least 10 inches up here. How much did you get?”
7

Tell him if his dry texts bother you.

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  1. If you have a good vibe with the guy in general, but his short texts drive you up the wall, it might help to let him know how you feel. Keep it chill and try not to make it sound accusatory, so he’s less likely to feel hurt or defensive. [9]
    • For example, say something like, “Hey, I love chatting with you, but I’m not sure how to feel when you send a lot of one-word answers. Sometimes I wonder if you’re bored or upset with me.”
    • Try suggesting a solution, like, “Hey, just let me know if you’re not in the mood to talk,” or “We can do FaceTime if you prefer.”
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9

Chat about serious stuff in person.

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  1. For one thing, it’s a lot easier to misunderstand each other than if you’re talking face-to-face or even over the phone. If you have something important or difficult to discuss, give him a call or ask if he can meet up—that way, you’re more likely to have a productive conversation instead of getting a lot of frustrating one-word answers. [11]
    • For instance, if you need to talk to him about where the relationship is going, or open up about a tough situation that you’re dealing with, don’t try to connect with him over text.
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