Why Do I Feel Nervous Around a Guy? 11 Reasons He Makes You Nervous

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

We’ve all been there: a guy walks into the room and your stomach does a little flip. Feeling anxious or a little nervous around a guy is a totally normal feeling—but why, exactly, does it happen? We’ve answered your questions about your nerves so you can figure out why you’re feeling jittery, both around a guy you aren’t dating and around a guy you are dating.

1

You have a crush on him.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f2\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f2\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    having a crush on someone can make us nervous around them. If you get butterflies whenever this guy walks into the room, or you feel yourself blushing when he gives you a compliment, you probably like him! When you’re attracted to someone, your body actually goes through changes when you see them: your heart might beat a little faster, you might breathe a little quicker, and your skin could get flushed. [1] These changes can lead you to feel nervous or a little anxious, which is normal (and it can actually be fun and exciting, too). [2]
    • If you start feeling jittery when the guy is around, take a few long, deep breaths to combat your nerves. This will help slow your breathing and get your heart rate back to normal. [3]
    2. Advertisement
2

You’re worried he might reject you.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1c\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1c\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you like this guy and you want to ask him out, you probably feel a little worried or anxious about it. Try to remind yourself that a rejection isn’t the end of the world, and even if he says no, you can still pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there! [4]
    • The potential of him saying yes totally outweighs the risk of him saying no. Plus, even if he isn’t interested, he’ll probably be flattered that you asked!
3

You want to make the first move, but you don’t know how.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b8\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b8\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Plus, there’s a pretty big stereotype that it’s up to the guy to ask the girl out, which you might be banking on if you’re a woman—but if that’s what you’re waiting for, you might be disappointed. Keep in mind that he might be feeling just as shy and nervous as you are, so making the first move might be the best bet. [5]
    • If you’re really unsure whether he likes you or not, try feeling out his interest first. Ask him things like, “So, you dating anyone right now?” or, “Do you like anyone?”
    2. Advertisement
4

You think you’re too inexperienced for him.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/aa\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/aa\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Maybe he’s dated a few people in the past, or maybe you’re just worried you won’t know what to do with a boyfriend. Try to remember that we all start somewhere, and even the guy you’re crushing on was inexperienced once, too. If he’s really a good guy, he won’t care how much dating experience you’ve had, and you can still have a fun, fulfilling relationship together. [6]
    • Plus, you might just be making assumptions! Even if he’s dated people in the past, it doesn’t mean he knows exactly what to do in a relationship.
5

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/5b\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5b\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    This is a totally normal feeling, especially if you haven’t dated many people before. Keep in mind that we often tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough, and it’s rarely ever true! The more you work on your confidence and self-esteem, the less you’ll feel nervous around this guy. [7]
    • A great way to boost your confidence is to make a list of everything you like about yourself (it sounds silly, but it works!). You could add things like, “I’m a great friend,” “I’m very kind to others,” or “I have a great sense of humor.” [8]
    2. Advertisement
6

You don’t know what to talk about.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b7\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b7\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Don’t worry, it’s normal—it’s probably because you don’t know him very well yet. [9] A good way to deal with this problem is to come up with a few conversation topics ahead of time. It might feel silly, but it can really help you dodge an awkward silence during your conversation! Some good conversation topics include: [10]
    • “How is school / work going?”
    • “How’s your family doing?”
    • “What’d you get up to this weekend?”
7

You’re in a brand new relationship.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/be\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/be\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Even after you’ve confessed your feelings and landed the guy, calling him your boyfriend might not make you feel completely calm. It’s totally normal to have some new relationship jitters, especially if you’ve never really dated before. As you two get to know each other more, you’ll feel more comfortable around him, and your nerves will go away. [11]
    • It’s actually good to feel nervous around your partner! It means you care about what they think, and you’re probably excited to hang out with them.
    • If you want to calm down quickly, try just telling him that you’re feeling nervous right now. Chances are, he’s feeling the same way, and you two can laugh off your nerves before continuing to hang out.
    2. Advertisement
8

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/ac\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/ac\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You might be feeling nervous around someone you like or you’re in a relationship with because you’re worried they won’t like the real you. This is a very normal feeling, and it’s rarely ever true—something you might think is weird might seem totally commonplace to another person. [12]
    • Everyone has flaws, even people who look perfect from the outside. As you two get to know each other more, you won’t feel so scared to open yourself up.
9

You’re worried about breaking up.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    It’s okay to wonder about the future of your relationship, but it can really cause a lot of stress and anxiety if you constantly think about a breakup. Try to enjoy the moment, and think about how happy you are right now instead of worrying about what you might feel later on. [13]
    • This is especially common if you’ve gone through a bad breakup once (or a few times) before. Keep in mind that every relationship is different, and there’s no reason that this one has to end badly (or at all).
    2. Advertisement
10

You’re scared about how much you like (or love) him.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6a\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/6a\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’re in a relationship and you start feeling deep, intense feelings, it might make you feel nervous. Love is a wonderful thing, and although it can feel scary at times, remember that more often than not, it’s going to bring a lot of joy and happiness into your life. [14]
11

You’re thinking about the future.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/3d\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-11-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-11-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/3d\/Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-11-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Why-Do-You-Feel-Nervous-Around-a-Guy-Step-11-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You might also be thinking about having kids or moving in together, even if those things are all far away. It’s totally normal to feel nervous about big life changes, and huge relationship milestones are part of that. It’s important to keep your mind present here and now instead of projecting what might happen into the future. [16]
    2. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    Is it normal to be nervous about a guy?
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Yes, a little bit of discomfort and insecurity is totally normal. Don't overthink it and don't beat yourself up about it. You'll get over it with time and practice!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 2 Helpful 18
  • Question
    What is the scientific reason you get nervous when you talk to someone you like?
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    It's your body's fight or flight response. Your brain has sent some kind of signal that you're in danger, and the nerves are your body's way of signaling that you need to be alert. This is why deep breathing is so helpful when you're anxious; physically slowing your breath kind of nudges your body to slow down, which helps you get calm.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 9 Helpful 26
  • Question
    How can I stop feeling nervous?
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    You may not shake the feeling entirely, but this really is one of those problems that gets better over time. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it will become!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 5 Helpful 19
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to Tell if a Guy Has a Crush on You
      17 Physical Signs Someone Is in Love with You
      150+ Things to Talk About With Your Crush: Deep, Flirty, & Funny Topics
      How to Reply to “How Did You Sleep?”
      How to
      Recognize That You Have a Crush on Someone
      No Need to Guess! 11 Signs to Know if a Guy Is Thinking About You
      How to
      Tell That Your Crush Likes You Back
      How to
      Text Your Crush and Start a Conversation
      How to Tell if Your Feelings Are Unrequited: Expert Insight
      Clear Signs a Married Man Likes You, According to the Experts
      How to
      Know if a Boy Has a Crush on You
      How to
      Tell Your Crush You Like Them
      How to
      Know if an Aquarius Likes You
      20 Signs a Guy Secretly Likes You More Than You Think He Does
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/9119-sexual-response-cycle
      2. ↑ https://iembracetherapy.com/psychology-of-attraction-and-crushes/
      3. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/relaxation-techniques-breath-control-helps-quell-errant-stress-response
      4. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a7606/nervous-around-guys/
      5. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      6. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/advice/a86/im-too-inexperienced-78900/
      7. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a7606/nervous-around-guys/
      8. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      9. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/dealing-with-loneliness-and-shyness.htm
      2. ↑ https://thetab.com/uk/2019/07/31/new-relationship-anxiety-guide-113151
      3. ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-deal-with-relationship-anxiety/
      4. ↑ https://health.usnews.com/health-care/for-better/articles/2018-02-13/understanding-and-overcoming-relationship-anxiety
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/200908/loving-too-much
      6. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201204/worrying-in-relationships-3-habits-invite-anxiety

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 144,480 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement