This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden
. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
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When you’re not in a relationship, it can feel like everyone you know has partnered up, especially as you hit your 30s. Being single isn’t a bad thing, though—in fact, it comes with a lot of perks! You get to experience freedom at a time in your life when you know what you want. On top of that, you can focus on yourself and pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for! It’s totally possible to appreciate the single life for what it is.
Here are 10 tips to help you embrace being single in your 30s.
Steps
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You can stay out as late as you want without checking in. If you want to take the day off and head to the beach, you can! People who aren’t single have another person’s schedule to worry about, but you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Enjoy it! [1] X Research source
- It’s always good to tell at least one person where you’re going, especially if you’re alone. Shoot your mom or a close friend a text before you head out into the woods for the weekend, just to be safe.
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It can be as clean or as messy as you want it to be. If you hate dishes stacked in the sink, take it upon yourself to clean them early. Or, if you don’t mind a bit of clutter, leave the house a bit messier. It’s up to you to decide how you decorate and exist in your space. [2] X Research source
- Plus, when you’re single, you can probably get a smaller place (and a smaller place means less cleaning for you!).
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Treat yourself to dinners and fun adventures. If there’s a new restaurant you’ve been dying to try out, go for it! If you want to see a new movie, head to the theater and do it! You can do anything you want on your own time. [3] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Another benefit to being single is that you don’t have to compromise with anyone. If you don’t want tacos, then you don’t have to get them. If you prefer action movies, you never have to watch a chick flick.
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Focus on propelling yourself forward into new opportunities. You don’t have to be a workaholic, but you can take advantage of the fact that no one’s going to be mad if you get home late. Attend seminars, take extra classes, and work your way up in your field to get fulfillment out of your job. [4] X Research source
- If you don’t like the career you’re in now, change it! It’s never too late to go back to school or take some vocational classes to switch your field.
wikiHow Quiz: Why Am I Single?
How do you feel about making new romantic connections?
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Spend your money on fun trips and excursions. [5] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 27 October 2021. If you’ve always wanted to go abroad but you’ve never been, book a flight! You can invite a few friends with you or simply go on your own. When you travel alone, you can do anything whenever you want on your own schedule. [6] X Research source- If heading overseas sounds a little daunting, try taking a road trip instead.
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What’s something you’ve always wanted to try? Maybe you could dip your toe into doing roller derby or softball. Or, you could buy a drone and practice flying it around the park. Use your free time to learn a new skill or try something fun that you haven’t had a chance to. [7] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.- Try joining a club or a hobby group to meet other people who share your similar interests.
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Volunteer at an animal shelter or a local hospital. Use your free time to give back to the members in your community who may be less fortunate. Volunteering can help you feel fulfilled and even make you happier in your daily life. [8] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- If you have the space, you could even foster a pet until they find their forever home.
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You don’t need to be in a relationship to have strong connections. Focus on bonding with the friends you already have and making new friends to feel fulfilled. Go out to dinner, have a fun weekend with friends, and work on fostering strong relationships with people that you love. [9] X Research source
- Focusing on your friendships can help distract you from the desire to have a partner. If you hang out with cool people that you love, you’re less likely to feel lonely.
- If you don’t have kids yet but your friends do, see if you can babysit for them. It will be a good way to spend some time with children if you don’t have any of your own.
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Studies show that single people sleep better than those in relationships. Invest in a nice, comfy bed with as many or as few pillows as you want. You can lie sideways, diagonal, or even straight down the middle! Take advantage of sleeping on your own by appreciating it while you have it. [10] X Research source
- Another perk of being single: you can go to bed whenever you want! No more fighting about going to sleep too early or sleeping in too late.
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It will keep you happier and healthier. [11] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 27 October 2021. Research shows that single people tend to be in better shape than their married counterparts. Use your free time to hit the gym, go for a jog, or swim some laps. Your body will thank you! [12] X Research source- Try joining a hiking group to get some exercise out in nature.
Join the Discussion...
Expert Q&A
Tips
- Don’t feel pressured by anyone else around you. There’s no rush to get into a relationship, especially if you’re happy on your own.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201901/the-single-life-may-get-even-better-age
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/not-born-yesterday/201308/whats-so-good-about-being-single
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-be-ok-with-being-single/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/news/a43578/why-its-okay-single-in-your-30s/
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/07/style/modern-love-when-marriage-is-just-another-overhyped-nightclub.html
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-be-ok-with-being-single/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/not-born-yesterday/201308/whats-so-good-about-being-single
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/news/a43578/why-its-okay-single-in-your-30s/
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/not-born-yesterday/201308/whats-so-good-about-being-single
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Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
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