How to Make a Guy Fall in Love with You: A Step by Step Guide

Open his heart and win his love with these amazing tips

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: June 17, 2024 References

He loves you, he loves you not, he loves you... Or at least he will, if you know how to play your cards right. In this article, we'll teach you the best ways to win a guy over so he can start thinking of you as more than a friend.

1

Do something adventurous together.

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Adrenaline or fear produces the same reactions in your brain as physical attraction to someone does, so plan a date that gets your blood-pumping, like rock climbing or riding roller coasters at the nearby amusement park. ^{[1]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.} He’ll start to associate those feelings of arousal and excitement with you, instead of the event itself. ^{[2]
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Research source}
- Try an activity as small as watching a scary movie or as big as going indoor skydiving.
- While it’s best to do this one-on-one so he thinks of you when he remembers the feeling, you can also go as a group. Just make sure you get some quality time with him.

2

Win over his friends.

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People naturally trust their friends and value their opinions. If he sees you all getting along, he’ll feel more comfortable with you. Find out what his friends like to do and plan a group outing, like mini golf or brunch, where you can get to know them.
- You can also invite along your friends so he can meet them as well.
- Do some background research on his friends before you meet them, by looking at their social media accounts, for example. It’s important to know that Joe just broke up with his girlfriend before you accidentally ask him how she’s doing!
- If he doesn’t offer to introduce you to his friends and it’s been a couple of weeks, bring it up casually yourself. Say something like, “I was thinking it would be fun to get our friends together to watch the big game this weekend. Want to?”
- Never badmouth or make fun of his friends. Even if he does it first, don’t take it as an invitation to join in. If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

3

Talk about romance or love.

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If you want him to think of you as someone he could fall in love with, train his brain to think of certain words, ideas, or feelings when he thinks about you by bringing up those topics in conversation. For example, use the word "love" a lot when you're talking to him, tell him a cute story about your friend's new boyfriend, or gush about how adorable the royal couple is. ^{[3]
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- Do this subtly so it's not forced or obvious.
- For instance, you could talk about how today is your parents' wedding anniversary or ask if he saw the new romantic comedy that just came out, too. Say something like, "I love that new movie with Jennifer Lawrence. Rom coms are just so cute!"
- You can also use images or sounds, like by turning on a love song playlist when he's around or wearing a cute heart T-shirt.

4

Maintain eye contact to make him feel loved and valued.

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When someone is in love, they make eye contact more with that person than they do with anyone else. If you look into his eyes a lot, especially when he’s talking, it will bring up feelings he had the last time he was in love. ^{[4]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.} Those positive emotions will then be associated with you. ^{[5]
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Research source}
- Don’t stare at him for too long or you’ll scare him. Every so often, glance away, then drag your eyes back to him to break it up.
- You can also add a flirty eyelash flutter. Blinking a lot is a natural reaction when you like someone, so it subtly shows that you’re into him.

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?

Some guys can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if he likes you as just a friend—or if he wants something more? Take this quiz to find out!

1 of 15

When you two are in a room filled with other people, how often do you catch him staring at you?

Constantly! I swear, he’s always looking right back at me.

I’ve noticed him staring a few times, yeah.

I think I’ve caught him staring once or twice.

Nope, I’ve never noticed that.

5

Mirror his movements to show that you’re in sync.

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If you copy his body language, tone, and behaviors, he’ll feel like the 2 of you are on the same wavelength. Smile when he does, match his soft-spoken voice by quieting your own, or angle your body just like his is. ^{[6]
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- For example, if he has his chin propped on his hands on the table, do the same.
- This applies when you’re walking together, too. Speed up or slow down to match his pace.
- Don’t imitate every single thing he does. Make your behaviors seem natural instead of creepy by mimicking every couple of movements instead.

6

Touch him often to create a physical connection.

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Studies have shown that touching someone increases their attraction to you. Find any excuse to touch him, whether it’s lightly laying a hand on his forearm when he tells a funny joke or giving him a brief hug when you say goodbye. ^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.} ^{[8]
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Research source}
- Make your touches seem accidental if you don’t want to be too obvious. For instance, graze his arm when you get up to get a drink or brush his foot under the table.
- Keep your touching above the waist so you don’t cross any boundaries or make him feel uncomfortable. Arms, shoulders, and face are safe spots if you aren’t sure.
More Ways to Attract Him with Your Body Language

Bite your bottom lip when he's looking at you.

Smile often to light up your face.

Alternate between looking in his eyes and looking at his lips .

Lean in towards him or angle your body to face him.

7

Figure out what makes him feel the most loved.

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Everyone has a different way that they like to receive love, whether it’s through touch or receiving gifts. Pay attention to what you or other people do that makes him happiest to determine how he likes to be loved. Then focus on doing more of that so he feels like you truly understand him. ^{[9]
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[v161898_b01]. 19 August 2021.}
- For example, if he likes being told that he's special, make sure you say things like, "Thanks for helping me with my homework. You're so smart!" or "I love the way you always know how to cheer me up."
Determining How He Likes to Be Loved

If he enjoys being complimented, words may be the way to his heart. Tell him how you feel, send him sweet texts, or write him a love note.

If he’s happiest when you’re helping him with something, he likes when people do meaningful things for him. You could offer to tutor him in math, for example, or rub his shoulder when he complains that it hurts.

If he lights up whenever you get him a present, getting gifts makes him feel valued. Buy him his favorite candy the next time you see him, for instance.

If he gets sad when you’re apart, he likes quality time. Plan a date night in together or spend a lazy Saturday snuggling.

If he always wants to hold hands, physical touch is important to him. Give him more hugs or lay your legs on his lap on the couch.

8

Fill a hole in his life so he realizes how much he needs you.

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If you can give him what no one else can, he will likely develop very strong feelings for you. For example, if he doesn’t have anyone who supports his dream of being a professional athlete, be his biggest cheerleader.
- Think about your strengths, too. If you’re a great listener, you can be the person he tells all of his deepest feelings to.
- For example, if he always mentions how he has trouble talking to his guy friends when he's sad, you can say something like, "I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I won't judge!"
- Don’t try to “fix” him. There’s a difference between being there for someone versus trying to change them into who you think they should be.

9

Share secrets to create intimacy between the 2 of you.

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Being open and vulnerable shows him that you trust him and want to be closer to him emotionally. Tell him things about yourself that not many people know and make sure you really listen when it’s his turn to open up. ^{[11]
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[v161898_b01]. 19 August 2021.}
- Start small, then share bigger, deeper things about yourself as the relationship progresses.
- For example, on the first date, you might confess that you love trashy reality shows. Then on the 10th date, you might tell him about your parents’ divorce.

10

Spend a lot of time near him.

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The more you’re around him, the more he’ll think of you, even if it’s subconsciously at first. Go to events you know he’ll be at, like the Friday night football game, or hang out at some of his favorite places, like the local coffee shop. ^{[13]
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- Do not stalk or smother him. If you suddenly show up everywhere, he will either get suspicious or feel uncomfortable.
- Make sure he sees you in situations where you’re at your best. For example, if you know you’ll see him at the gym, wear a cute outfit. Or if you’re going to the same party, challenge him to a game of table tennis (or other secret talent!).

11

Be your best self to make him see how awesome you are.

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Instead of completely focusing on how to get him to fall for you, think about yourself. How can you be the best version of yourself and be the confident, self-assured girl he wants and deserves? Work on yourself as much as you work on your relationship by pursuing your own interests, spending time with your friends, and learning to love who you are. ^{[14]
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- Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Instead, improve the parts of you that you don’t like.
- For example, instead of spending your weekend stalking his ex on Instagram, use that time to work on your painting skills. He’s more likely to fall for a girl who has passions and interests and loves herself first.

How Do You Make Someone Fall In Love With You?

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Tips

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Read a lot about what is happening in the world. This can lead to conversations where you both share your opinions and you can find out where he stands on certain issues. This is a good way to learn more about his mindset and whether or not you both have the same values.
If you like a boy, never be nervous and always be confident. Whenever you are around him, tell him how you feel. And always be the girl you are because a boy does not like a girl who tries to act like someone they're not.
Don't be worried about asking him if he's into you. The worst that could happen is him saying no and you feeling disappointed. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
Show him any skills you have, like swimming, basketball, soccer, or music. He might admire you if he knows you are talented or good at something.
Try to be funny, it will help. I know from personal experience. If you make him laugh then he will notice you more.
Make sure to keep good hygiene. Brush your teeth twice a day and shower at least three times a week.

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[1]

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Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach

[2]

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How to Make a Guy Fall in Love with You: A Step by Step Guide

Steps

Do something adventurous together.

Win over his friends.

Talk about romance or love.

Maintain eye contact to make him feel loved and valued.

wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?

When you two are in a room filled with other people, how often do you catch him staring at you?

Mirror his movements to show that you’re in sync.

Touch him often to create a physical connection.

Figure out what makes him feel the most loved.

Fill a hole in his life so he realizes how much he needs you.

Share secrets to create intimacy between the 2 of you.

Spend a lot of time near him.

Be your best self to make him see how awesome you are.

How Do You Make Someone Fall In Love With You?

Expert Q&A

Tips

Tips from our Readers

You Might Also Like

References

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