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When you have a special guy in your sights, one of the best ways to reach out is through a text or a phone call if you don't have an opportunity to talk in person. Of course, this requires getting their phone number, and although it may seem nerve-wracking, it doesn't have to be!
Steps
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Pluck up your courage. When you spot the guy away from his friends (if preferred) and in a quiet spot where you can't be misheard, gather your wits about you and head in his direction. [1] X Research source
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Be cool and confident. There is no need to pretend you're there for any other reason than to ask for his number. He'll respect your confidence and chutzpah if you make it clear you made a beeline for him just for this purpose. [2] X Research source
- Some people advise pretending to go up for some other reason, such as wanting help with a forgotten homework question or wanting to know something. That might work if you're feeling really timid but it can also backfire in that that's the only thing you'll end up asking, as your courage fails you. Moreover, it'll soon become clear to the guy that asking for his help was just a ruse, which can show you're able to lie. Not a great start.
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Ask the guy for his phone number. Avoid beating around the bush, seeming coy or making a joke about it. All you need to do is get to the point. Guys are taught to get to the point early on, without resort to wiles and in the twenty-first century, it's somewhat odd that some gals feel they still have to play the game of coyness. So you can do this too, it's not unreasonable to get to the point.
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Be casual in asking. You don't need to be blunt but you do need to be clear, and by being casual, you can achieve a smooth request. [3] X Research source
- Say something casual on the lines of "Hey, can I have your number to text you sometimes?" Simple. Then say thanks, and walk away. At this point, he'll anticipate your text, and you'll have his number.
- You don't need to explain the request but if you want to, keep it simple, such as "it'd be super helpful if I could reach you by text"; or "I'd just like to be able to reach you easily to ask you to some of the dorm parties we'll be throwing soon".
- If he asks you why you want his number, keep it simple. For example, say something like "I'd like to keep in contact with you, I think you're really cool" or "You give me good advice" or "You're good fun" .
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Be a chicken. If it is really, really hard for you to be open about getting his number, use studies or work or something to get the number. Ask if you can review test subjects with him and he will most likely give you his number.
- Or, approach the guy casually and show him your phone. Show him your contacts and then say: I really want to beat my friend and see who has the most contacts by the end of the day so.. can I get your number? (Don't sound pushy or greedy or excited, act as if you're telling this to your parents.)
- The problem with using any ruse is that this is all he'll probably expect you to text about, unless he has made it openly clear he fancies you. If you start texting constantly about anything unrelated, he's likely to be unimpressed.
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Don't be devastated if he says no to giving you his number. There are lots of possible reasons, from wondering why you're asking out of the blue to not being allowed to give his number to people. Or he might not know you that well and feels that this is awkward. [4] X Research source
- Get to know him before you ask for his phone number again. There is another chance!
- Say thanks for his consideration. End politely with something like: "No worries, just thought I'd ask. I can understand if you feel it's a bit much from someone you don't really know yet. Maybe another time."
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Have a friend pass the number to you. This is fraught with the potential annoyance this guy might feel towards his friend or even a sense of betrayal but if you work with it carefully, and don't abuse having the number, it might be okay sometimes.
- Don't dump the friend in it; be vague and say that "someone" offered his number to you without specifying exactly who. Or, if there is a plausible reason for seeing his number, such as on a phone tree for sports practice, or something, you have a legitimate out for saying you saw it that way. Although, little white lies aren't a good start to anything.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat if he doesn't have a phone number?Community AnswerIf he doesn't have a phone number, maybe he has an email address or a social media handle. If not, you could give him your number in case he can borrow a phone from someone.
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QuestionSo this guy asked my number first but I said no. Now it seems like I want to exchange numbers. We don't know each other that well and he's older to me. How do I get to know his intention?Sarah BattilanaCommunity AnswerYou could try telling him that you're not interested in dating but could be friends and see how he reacts. Or, if you do want to date him, ask him to exchange numbers so you can talk more.
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QuestionOkay, so I've known this guy for a week, and we haven't really talked, he doesn't use snapchat, so should I just ask for his number?Sarah BattilanaCommunity AnswerYou can definitely ask for his number! Try saying something like, "I wanted to send you a video. Let me have your number so I can text it to you."
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Tips
- Don't be afraid to ask for his number. If he doesn't give it to you then at least you know asking for a guys number won't kill you, and don't worry, there will be plenty more opportunities to get it.Thanks
- Wind up the conversation by saying the following: "Hey, I don't want to hold you up. Can I call you sometime so we can talk more?".Thanks
- If you're using a ruse to get the number and he asks why this is so important to you, or you just want a reason to back it up, just be honest. Don't start your bond off as a lie; it may come back to haunt you.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- If you want to confess to him over text, then text him the words "I'm texting the love of my life." If he says something like, "I feel the same way," then you know how he feels and you can take it from there. If he responds negatively, then you can just say, "I meant someone else, silly."
- Remember that you only have one life. In the moment it can seem terrifying to ask a guy for his number and you may pull away from doing it. When this happens, try to remember that you don't have to see that person ever again if it doesn't work out. Be confident!
- If you're timid, just think before you ask him, "I'm asking my friend for a phone number. That's all I'm doing. I'll be fine." Then, just do some mindfulness exercises to calm down.
- Don't ask more than once. If he won't give you the number, it probably means that he is either skittish or he just needs to know more about you. Let him take things slow.
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Warnings
- If you do get the number from someone else, be aware that they might end up telling this guy.Thanks
- Don't sound greedy, pushy, annoying, excited or anything else that may cause him to run in the other direction.Thanks
- Don't force your friend to ask him for you. If they're willing to pass it on, that's fine but don't badger the friend.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-flirt/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation-starters-topics/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202106/4-strategies-cope-rejection
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
About This Article
Article Summary
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To get a guy’s phone number, find a moment when he’s separated from his friends, preferably in a quiet environment, and approach him confidently. Tell him that you're interested in talking more or hanging out, and he’ll respect your courageousness! You can say something simple like, “Hey, can I have your number to text you sometime?” If you’re really nervous, you can always make up an excuse for having his number, such as wanting help with homework. To know when and how often to text him, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "All the tips were great, but the one that really stood out to me is the one where it says to just get to the point. What it said was so true and now I feel like I can get my crush's phone number. I also liked the part where it said not to be afraid." ..." more
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"All the tips were great, but the one that really stood out to me is the one where it says to just get to the point. What it said was so true and now I feel like I can get my crush's phone number. I also liked the part where it said not to be afraid."
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"The part that helped me was coming forward. Not telling lies because you're freaking out and shy helps too. He might not ever figure out until it's too late that you like him. "
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"It is actually a good idea to ask a friend, never thought of that."
"I just went up to him and asked him, like you said. Thanks!"
"I really wanted a guy's number and the tips really helped."
