Download Article
Download Article
Is your self-confidence dwindling? Maybe you're just tired and frustrated of waiting around for something good to happen. The wait is over. Practice having a bold confident mindset, create opportunities for yourself, and learn how to get what you want.
Steps
-
Stop hesitating and take action. Is there something you've been wanting or trying to do, but can't seem to get the courage up? Whether it's asking an acquaintance out for a drink, apologizing to a loved one after a long period of misunderstanding, or simply being friendly to a co-worker, stop thinking about acting and actually do something. Taking the first small step towards trying something new can give you the energy to keep going. [1] X Expert Source Sandra Possing
Life Coach Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.- Boldness is the opposite of hesitation. Whenever you're feeling hesitant in interactions with others, or in making a decision for yourself, learn to swallow your pride and make the first move.
-
Do the unexpected. Bold people aren't afraid of trying new things, and one of the reasons they're so exciting to be around is that they keep you guessing. This could be something new for you, like salsa dancing or learning to water ski. [2] X Research source Whatever you do, be sure to do it for yourself, not other people.
- Doing something new and unexpected might make you vulnerable or afraid. Don't give in to those feelings. Instead, accept the newness of the skill and don't be afraid to be yourself. [3] X Research source
Advertisement -
Rediscover who you are. Ultimately, boldness has to do with understanding your strengths and weaknesses, then moving beyond them. Don't try to hide your problems or failures, but accept them as part of you. This will allow you to confidently move forward, appreciating your uniqueness. [4] X Research source
- It will be easier to find things you're passionate about if you stop worrying about the "right" thing to do. Instead, give yourself permission to be honest and curious about what you do and don't enjoy. [5]
X
Expert Source
Sandra Possing
Life Coach Expert Interview. 15 July 2020. - Realize that you don't have to do random, uncharacteristic things to discover who you are. Avoid making any uncharacteristic changes just to shock people. Be honest with yourself.
- It will be easier to find things you're passionate about if you stop worrying about the "right" thing to do. Instead, give yourself permission to be honest and curious about what you do and don't enjoy. [5]
X
Expert Source
Sandra Possing
-
Pretend you're already bold. If you were to switch places with somebody you admire for their assertiveness and boldness, what would they do in your shoes? If you already know someone who's bold, imagine how they'd act.
- Your bold inspiration doesn't have to be real. You could even think of a character from a movie or book who's daring and brave. Then, imagine their boldness in your life.
-
Be willing to say no. If someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, refuse. Saying "No" will reinvigorate your individuality and help you to feel bold, ensuring that you're ready and willing to go out and get what you want. Don't feel like you have to make up an excuse or explanation. People will have to learn to respect your honesty and boldness, and you'll be getting what you want. [6] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Realize that if you do commit to doing something, you should follow through. Your sense of self-respect will grow, as will other people's respect for you. [7] X Trustworthy Source Kansas University Center for Community Health and Development Community-based research center focused on supporting public health development and education Go to source
-
Follow through on your plans. [8] X Expert Source Sandra Possing
Life Coach Expert Interview. 15 July 2020. It's not enough to simply say you're going to do something, you actually have to do it or people think of you as a flake. When your word is good and you follow through with actions, people will trust you and look upon you as a bold, reliable, complicated person.- If you agreed to do something you really don't wish to do, you should probably just follow through with it because you gave your word. Next time, remember to say no and assert yourself.
Advertisement
-
Ask for what you want. Rather than waiting to be recognized for your efforts, or expecting someone to consider your needs, step up and ask. This doesn't mean you should demand what you want or be aggressive. Instead, confidently and tactfully choose your words. [9] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Don't confuse being bold with being aggressive. Aggressiveness often involves imposing your viewpoints or actions on others. Boldness has nothing to do with the people around you. It's about overcoming your fears and taking action.
-
Negotiate . The phrase "What can you do for me?" is an easy and powerful way to throw the onus of responsibility back on the person you're negotiating with. Even if the initial answer is "no," keep the window of opportunity open as long as possible to give them an opportunity to change their mind.
- Plan out counter-offers before you start negotiating. If you think your boss will reject your request for time off because there's no one to fill your place, say you'll double-up a shift when you get back, or that you'll complete tasks remotely when you have free time.
-
Offer two choices. One of the best ways to get what you want is to simplify the number of solutions to a given problem. This ensures you'll get what you want.
- Even if there are an unlimited number of possibilities for a given problem, limit them to the solutions that work for you. This will cut down on the amount of hassle that goes into the solution and ensure that the outcome is what you want.
-
Take risks and create opportunities. There's a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless people don't accept risks because they don't even think about them. A bold person, on the other hand, has learned about the risks, and decided to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if things don't work out. [10] X Research source
- Inaction or hesitation is often a kind of risk, because you're risking missing an opportunity. This is a risk to avoid, however. Your goal is to create your best chance of success, not whittle away at your window of opportunity. When you've made the choice to act, do it without fear.
-
Ask questions. There's nothing bold about blundering into a situation you're ignorant about and not listening to advice. If you're unclear about an assignment or about a topic at work or school, boldness is being willing to admit that you're confused and asking for clarification.
- Don't be afraid to take the bold step of getting help. If someone is unhelpful, find another person. This persistence to find the answers shows boldness on your part.
-
Accept any outcome. While there's power in taking on something new or trying to get what you want, there's also the chance you may fail. Embrace the failure. It's not the opposite of success, it's a necessary component. Without the risk of failure, you don't have the opportunity for success. [11] X Research source
- Don't worry about rejection. This requires some emotional detachment from the outcome. Don't let a rejection destroy your self-confidence and ability to be bold.
Advertisement
Expert Q&A
Search
-
QuestionHow can I be less critical of myself?Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on mindset and leadership transformation. Sandra received her coaching training from The Coaches Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a BA in Anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.Most people are trained to view themselves from other people's perspectives. I would encourage you to turn that on its head and try to earn harness love and validation from within yourself. Realize that accomplishments and outside approval will never define your self-worth.
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement
Video
Reader Videos
Submit a Video Tip!
Share a quick video tip and help bring articles to life with your friendly advice. Your insights could make a real difference and help millions of people!
Submit a Video
Coming Soon!
Tips
- You don't need to be fearless to be bold. Let people know that you're afraid but move forward, keep going and don't look back.Thanks
- Don't let people knock you down when trying new things. They are usually the kind of people that wish they were bold but don't have the courage to do what you are doing.Thanks
Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
Advertisement
References
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://anxiety.org.nz/updates/the-courage-to-face-our-fears
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fixing-families/201810/how-to-be-bold
- ↑ https://www.familycentre.org/news/post/the-truth-about-self-discovery-and-why-its-the-first-step-to-a-fulfilling-life
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/09/learn-when-to-say-no
- ↑ https://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/leadership/leadership-functions/build-sustain-commitment/main
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28454917/
About This Article
Article Summary
X
To be bold, don't hesitate before doing the things you're scared of, like asking your crush out on a date or talking to your boss about a promotion. Additionally, even though it can be scary, try new things and go places you've never been before. For example, you could take a salsa dancing class or go on a solo road trip. If you need some inspiration, try to think of someone you know who is bold, and ask yourself what they would do in your shoes. Just keep in mind that it's OK to say no sometimes, and you don't have to do things you don't want to just to be bold. For tips from our co-author, like how to get what you want in life by being bold, scroll down!
Did this summary help you?
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,285,110 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "It reminded me that I AM a strong, fierce, and determined person. One of those articles was talking about overcoming obstacles in your life. When I was 18, I was diagnosed with leukemia and my Dr. told my parents I was not going to make it through the night! I was scared, yes I cried, but I fought it and kicked it's ass! So, absolutely this article helped me remember who I truly am inside. Thank you Rebecca." ..." more
Advertisement
88%
of readers found this article helpful
.
Click a star to add your vote
% of people told us that this article helped them.
"It reminded me that I AM a strong, fierce, and determined person. One of those articles was talking about overcoming obstacles in your life. When I was 18, I was diagnosed with leukemia and my Dr. told my parents I was not going to make it through the night! I was scared, yes I cried, but I fought it and kicked it's ass! So, absolutely this article helped me remember who I truly am inside. Thank you Rebecca."
..."
more
"We are all amazing people with different hats and roles that we live in our life. We have dreams from our childhood that start to blossom at the very beginning. Your list about staying positive and getting past obstacles has helped me realize we don't live in a box. The world is a beautiful place if we take the time to believe it! Thanks!"
..."
more
"After reading some articles on this website, I realized that all these years I've been trying to be someone that people will like, but no, I am me. I need to forgive myself and live for the present and believe in who I am, and ask for what I want straight away."
..."
more
"Difference between aggressiveness and boldness helped. I learned not to hesitate and not to make up my self for giving explanations because of that hesitation.Thank you."
..."
more
"Useful. Actually I think of my friends as my very close ones, but they don't think so. They underestimate me sometimes, so I need to be bold."
..."
more
