How to Talk to Older Adults and Senior Patients

Connecting with and understanding your elderly friends and neighbors

Co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD

Last Updated: December 5, 2024 Fact Checked

Whether you are visiting a grandparent or you are a social worker who deals with older adults from time to time, age-related health problems can present a barrier to effective communication. That's why we've put together a simple guide to help you both understand older adults, and be understood yourself.

Things You Should Know

Learn and be aware of your conversation partner's ailments or communication barriers before interacting with them, if possible.
Speak slowly and clearly, enunciating each word. Avoid baby talk or other potentially offensive tones.
Adjust your volume and speed to your conversation partner's needs, and use gestures and visual aids as necessary.

1

Be aware of the person's health issues.

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Be sure you consider the person's health before you engage in communication. For example, they may have hearing problems, speech problems, and memory loss. These factors complicate communication. And remember, chronological age is not always a true indicator of a person’s health (see Warnings). ^{[1]
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2

Pay attention to your environment.

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Is there any disturbing background noise ? Are many people speaking in the same room? Is there any intrusive music? Are there any distractions that could affect your communication? Ask the older adult if the environment is comfortable for them. If you sense any disturbance, try to move to a more peaceful and quiet location. ^{[2]
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American Academy of Family Physicians
Organization devoted to improving the health of patients, families, and communities
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3

Speak clearly and make eye contact .

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Older adults may have trouble hearing. It is important to articulate your words and speak clearly. Do not eat your words: move your mouth and pronounce each word carefully and precisely. When your tongue “dances” inside your mouth when you talk, you articulate more clearly. If your tongue “sleeps” and plays a passive role, you are more likely not articulating as well as you could. ^{[3]
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4

Adjust your volume appropriately.

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Evaluate the environment and how it relates to the person’s hearing abilities. Don't shout simply because the listener is older. Treat the individual with respect by articulating and speaking at a comfortable volume that is suitable for both of you. ^{[4]
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5

Ask clear and precise questions.

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Feel free to repeat or rephrase what you’re saying. Complicated questions and sentences may confuse older adults who have short-term memory or hearing loss. Clear and precise constructions are easier to comprehend. ^{[5]
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- Use direct questions: "Did you have soup for lunch?" "Did you have salad for lunch?" Instead of: "What did you have for lunch?" The more precise you are in your language, the less difficulty the elderly have in understanding.
- Reduce the "noise" in your sentences and questions. Limit your sentences and questions to 20 words or less. Don't use slang or filler words and phrases. ("Like," "well," and "you know" are a few examples.) Keep your sentences brief and direct to the point.
- Avoid the confusion of mixed ideas and questions. Try to define your ideas and questions logically. If you mix ideas, it may be confusing for the older adult to understand. Express one idea and message at a time. For example, "It is a good idea to call John, your brother. Later, we can call Susan, your sister." A more complicated construction would be: "I think we should call your brother, John, first, and then later we could call your sister, Susan."

6

Employ visual aids, if possible.

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If an older adult has a hearing or memory problem, it is important to be creative . Visual aids help. For example, it may be better to say, "Is there any pain in your back (pointing to your back)? Is there any pain in your stomach (pointing to your stomach)?" instead of simply asking "Do you have any pain or discomfort?" ^{[6]
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7

Take it slow, be patient , and smile .

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A sincere smile shows that you are understanding. It also creates a friendly environment in which to communicate. Remember to pause between sentences and questions. Give the individual an opportunity to understand and digest information and questions. This is a particularly valuable technique if a person has memory loss. When you pause, you show respect and patience. ^{[7]
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- They may experience symptoms of anxiety or depression.
- If they spend most of their day worrying, crying, or experiencing profound hopelessness, contact a therapist.
- Many therapists offer online services. Most insurance companies reimburse for teletherapy.

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Question

How do I show nice gestures to a patient at my care home?

Community Answer

Share stories about your family and interests and ask your patients about their loved ones. Listen to music together, work on an art project or take a walk around the home to show you care.

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How do I care for a person who has suffered a stroke?

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This article may be of some help: how to help a loved one recover from a stroke.

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How can I be confident when I speak with adults?

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Speak clearly and respectfully. Do not use slang and articulate your speech.

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Tips

Remember that a few words of love and respect also mean a lot to them because at such an old age all they need is some love, care, and respect.

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Remember that touching, holding hands, and physical warmth often communicate more than words.

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If the older adult approves, you may want to consult the help of a speech-language pathologist and/or an audiologist. These are professionals that specialize in communication problems and may be able to help. They focus on clear speech and how well the person hears, not comprehension of what the older adult is hearing.

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Warnings

Never act like the elderly person who you are with is ancient (even if they are!) or "obsolete". Elderly people have feelings too, and are human beings just like everyone else. Treat them with respect and kindness.

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Not all older adults have all of these problems! There are many senior citizens who are in practically perfect mental and physical health. Only use these steps if you sense the older adult has trouble communicating, otherwise you may offend him or her.

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How to Talk to Older Adults and Senior Patients

Things You Should Know

Steps

Be aware of the person's health issues.

Pay attention to your environment.

Speak clearly and make eye contact .

Adjust your volume appropriately.

Ask clear and precise questions.

Employ visual aids, if possible.

Take it slow, be patient , and smile .

Community Q&A

Video

Tips

Warnings

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