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It's just dye and will eventually wash out. No problem, right? Not exactly. Talking your parents into dying your hair can be a difficult task because they want to keep a nice, natural image of you. However, you may be able to convince them by making good arguments in your favour, being willing to compromise, and doing your research before you launch into the discussion.
Steps
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Do your homework on the hair dye. Decide what colour (s) you want to dye your hair. Figure out which product you want to use. Look for reviews to make sure you get a quality brand.
- Some shampoo/conditioner brands also sell hair dye. It may help your case to pick a brand your parents use to wash their own hair.
- If your parents are vegan or against animal testing, consider picking a dye that's vegan or doesn't test on animals.
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Learn about the risks involved in dying your hair. Hair dye contains hydrogen peroxide, which can cause your hair to turn dry and brittle. It's unlikely that dyeing your hair once will cause any sort of serious damage, but be aware that it may still cause some damage, especially if you are going from dark to light. [1] X Research source
- The chance of you being allergic to hair dye is low, but it's still worth doing a patch test before you apply the dye to your head. Just put a small amount of dye on your wrist or ankle, and wait 24 hours to make sure there's no allergic reaction.
- There are many peroxide free hair dyes. They may not be as cheap as drugstore box dyes; however, they are much better for your hair.
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Make sure whatever you're doing is within the dress code for school/work. You don't want to get in trouble. If your school doesn't allow unusual colours, it's also very unlikely your parents will give you the okay.
- Be at the right age. If the package says, "Not recommended for use if under 16 years of age," do not use it as a 13-year-old. You could get serious hair follicle damage.
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Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: What Color Should I Dye My Hair?
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Bring up the issue delicately. Start by bringing up the subject of hair dye. Ask them a question at dinner like "What do you think about hair dye?" Then tell them you've thought about it a lot and that you want to try dying your hair. Tell them exactly what you want to do to your hair. [2] X Research source
- Use "I" statements, which sound less accusing or demanding. For example, say "I want to experiment by dyeing my hair" rather than "You should let me experiment and do what I want."
- Avoid saying things like "all of my friends are doing it". It may trigger "if all your friends were jumping off a bridge" type responses.
- Try to create space for the conversation by telling your parents that you want to talk to them about something that's important to you.
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Explain how it's not permanent. Truthfully tell them that the hair dye you plan on getting is not permanent. Add that it will come out little by little, each time you wash your hair. You can say something like "I've found a temporary hair dye that I think would let me experiment with my hair without making any drastic changes." This will ease a lot of their concern because they'll think that even if they don't like it, it's only temporary. [3] X Research source
- Make sure you find a dye that isn't permanent before you talk to them about this, so you aren't lying when you say it.
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Offer to pay for the dye and supplies. If you say that you're prepared to pay for it all, it shows them that you're committed and responsible. And it always helps your case when money isn't coming out of their pocket.
- For example, you can say "I've thought about this a lot and so I'm willing to pay for the dye and all the supplies myself."
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Tell them you're prepared for the worst. If your parents don't want you to dye your hair because they're afraid the dye will ruin it, bring up the fact that you'd rather learn your lesson and suffer the consequences than not dye it at all. You can say things like "I've researched what to do if the dye doesn't look right," and "I know how to take care of my hair after dyeing it to reduce any damage." Let them know that whatever the consequences are, you'll deal with them.
- Explain that you understand how it can go wrong, how the colour might not turn out right, or how it can damage your hair.
- Research possible solutions to fixing bad dye jobs up and tell them to your parents. This may help further your case.
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Explain your reasons for wanting to dye your hair. Don't just tell them you want to dye your hair, explain what caused you to feel this way. Some people like dying their hair because it allows them to exert more control over their appearance. Some people like it because a change in appearance makes them feel more confident. Figure out your reasons and then explain them. [4] X Research source
- For example, you could explain that you want to dye your hair while you're young and don't have a lot of responsibilities. That way in the future, you'll know if you want it or not.
- Sharing your reason for wanting something and explaining how it lines up with your values is a good negotiation tactic.
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Let them know you'll dye it back if it goes badly. Often, parents will agree if you give them a little of what they want. Such an example would be: if you dye your hair and it turns out badly, you'll dye it back to its original colour. [5] X Research source
- Tell them "I'm fully prepared to dye it back to my original colour if I don't like the colour or it looks bad."
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Suggest getting it done professionally. If your parents are worried about you potentially messing up the dying process by doing it on your own or with a friend, this might be a good option.
- Say "If you're worried about it being done badly, I could always get it done professionally instead. Then there's no worry about the quality of the outcome."
- The only downside to this is that getting your hair dyed professionally will cost a good deal more.
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Allow them to have some input on the colour choice. Offer that you both have to agree on the colour you get. That allows you both to be in control. You could say "I'll try a more natural colour close to my hair colour first if you'd be more comfortable with that." [6] X Research source
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Ask if you can partially dye your hair instead. Instead of dying your whole head, ask to put in highlights, lowlights, or streaks. Purple can still pack a punch from underneath your natural colour. If you have long hair, then you can compromise with just dying ends. If it doesn't turn out well, or if you or your parents don't like it, then you can always cut it off.
- You can say something like "Maybe instead of dyeing the whole thing, I can just dye the ends. That way it's less different and it can always be cut off if it doesn't work out."
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Ask if you can get coloured extensions instead. If they are adamant against dying your real hair, suggest buying and colouring clip-in extensions so they can see how the color would look. It's not permanent and you can easily change the look if you or your parents don't like it.
- Another alternative is to use coloured hair chalk, which washes out in the shower.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionMy parents let me get my hair dyed, but afterwords were complaining about how long it took and how much it cost. What should I do if they won't let me dye my own hair either?Community AnswerFind a compromise, whether it's a cheaper salon, a trustworthy friend or family member who can dye your hair, etc. If they won't let you dye your hair on your own, then they're likely just worried about you making a mistake.
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QuestionWhat if I am scared but I really want to do it because all my friends do but not me and they make fun of me?Community AnswerYou should try and convince your parents to let you. If they refuse, you should accept your parents decision. As for your friends, they shouldn't be making fun of you. Friends should support each other.
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QuestionWhat if my parents are scared of me getting it on my skin? Would it stain my skin if it is permanent dye?Community AnswerThe dye can stain your skin, but it comes off if you thoroughly scrub it with soap and water. If you dab some Vaseline around your hairline and your ears, you're much less likely to get any dye on your skin.
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Tips
- Be mature about it. Don't whine, beg, or ramble random facts. Have a layout of what you're going to say in mind. And if they say no, ask them later down the road, even more prepared.Thanks
- Don't automatically expect your parents to say yes. If you tell them to think about it and let you know (if they don't seem to like the idea of dying your hair at first), they will think you are more mature and open-minded to getting your hair dyed.Thanks
- Try to listen to your parents with an open mind. If they disagree or see things differently, that's okay—everyone can have a different opinion!Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- If your parents say no at first, ask them how old they were when they first dyed their hair. This reminded my mom that she was actually younger than me when she dyed her hair for the first time, so she ended up changing her mind and saying yes.
- Tell your parents that you want to dye your hair to express yourself. They may be more willing to let you do it if they understand that you're trying to be creative and share your personal style.
- It can be frustrating if your parents say no, but remember that this probably means they love your hair the way it is and don't want you to change it. Try not to get too upset with them!
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Warnings
- Always follow the manufacturer's directions on the package. They made the dye, and know what to do with it.Thanks
- If your parents still won't let you dye your hair, do not go out and do it without them knowing! This will only make them angry with you, and you will most likely never get to do something like this again until you are an adult. Just be patient and wait until you are allowed.Thanks
- Know what you're doing. There's an unwritten set of "rules" and consequences for hair dye: black hair with plain bleach turns orange, some shades of ash brown or ash-blond can tinge blond hair green, etc. If you're not sure about something, ask a professional.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.instyle.com/hair/11-things-know-dyeing-your-own-hair# 249799
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fighting-fear/201209/the-proper-way-argue
- ↑ http://www.racked.com/2015/6/11/8757391/guide-at-home-hair-dye
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fighting-fear/201209/the-proper-way-argue
- ↑ http://stylecaster.com/beauty/coloring-your-hair/
- ↑ http://www.thefashionspot.com/beauty/594169-dying-your-hair/2/
About This Article
Article Summary
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Your parents might insist on making you keep your natural hair color, but you can convince them to let you dye your hair by doing your research and compromising. Before you approach your parents, look at hair dyes online and figure out exactly what color and product you want to use so they know it's high quality. Consider picking a peroxide-free dye, as this will be less damaging to your hair, which might make your parents less worried. In addition to researching hair dye, read your school or work’s dress code to ensure that you aren’t breaking it by dying your hair. When you’re ready to talk to your parents, be respectful and reassure them it’s only temporary. Be willing to compromise on some things, like letting them pick the color or dying it back to your natural color if it doesn’t look good. For more help, including how to get your hair dyed professionally, read on.
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Reader Success Stories
- "Before i researched in this, like a while ago I asked my mom normally if I can dye my hair, she obviously said no. I am a tween so I did all my homework, did all my mom's stuff and did chores even though I dont have some, and she said ok." ..." more
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"Before i researched in this, like a while ago I asked my mom normally if I can dye my hair, she obviously said no. I am a tween so I did all my homework, did all my mom's stuff and did chores even though I dont have some, and she said ok."
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"I didn't really know how to bring up the topic, but this helped me. The "I" statements helped me out too. I'd probably say it the wrong way, and they'd get mad at me, but now I know how to negotiate. "
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"I am 9. I want to dye the tips just a little, either a light brown or dark purple, because my hair is really dark, so it would look right. I'm really afraid to ask, but this helped me a lot."
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"The "I" staments were what really helped. I have the courage to ask, though I have not asked yet. I think the tremendous amount of research I have done will persuade and impress her."
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"This article is very helpful if you have strict parents. I have not talked to my very strict dad yet using these tips, but I'm hoping he'll agree to black. Thank you so very much."
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