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Having a YouTube account will allow you to comment on videos and subscribe to channels that you want to watch. It will also allow you to interact with other users and create and upload your content. However, there can be a lot of inappropriate content on the website, and many parents worry about their children using the website with a personal account. If you want your own account, you can push your parents in the right direction by explaining why you want to make an account. Choosing the right time and using a pleasant tone when you ask them will also be essential. Finally, you may need to negotiate how you’ll use certain features of the website to give yourself an edge.
Steps
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Tell them why you want a YouTube account. Your parents’ concerns may be completely unrelated to your goals, and explaining why you want an account will help them make an informed decision. If they’re scared about strangers talking to you online but you don’t care about commenting and just want to watch videos, it may put their minds at ease. If you’re only interested in watching your favorite YouTubers but don’t plan on making your videos, it could convince them that you’ll be safe.
- If you do want to make your videos, think about why you want to make them and have a good explanation ready. “I want to express my thoughts on the movies I see” or, “I want to share clips of me playing games with my friends” are examples of good reasons to make YouTube videos.
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Focus on the benefits of getting a YouTube account. In your explanation, play up the benefits of a YouTube account. Point out that you’ll learn how to do new things and be exposed to more educational experiences. If you want to make your videos, explain that there are valuable skills involved in editing and filming your videos and that you’ll be learning from the experience. [1] X Research source
- It takes patience, communication skills, and a knowledge of video editing to make videos, which are all skills that your parents probably want you to learn anyway.
- Say something like, “Making my videos will make me better at public speaking and communicating effectively! You want me to be a good speaker, right?”
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Show your parents the kind of videos you want to watch or create. Your parents will be more likely to let you make an account if they understand the kind of videos that you want to make or watch. Choose 2 or 3 good examples of the kinds of videos that you’d be interested in watching or making to give them an idea of what you will be looking at.
- Pick videos that work as good examples of an average video instead of choosing the funniest or coolest video that you’ve seen. What you find funny or interesting won’t necessarily have the same effect on your parents, and the point is to expose them to the formats and tones of the videos that you’re interested in.
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Build a PowerPoint to show them that you’re serious. While a PowerPoint is quite easy to put together, it will impress your parents and show them that you’re serious about getting an account. Make a slide for each point that you want to make and present it to them to help them understand why you want an account. [2] X Research source
- Choose a pre-built layout from the main menu to give your PowerPoint a cool look.
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Ask your parents when they’re in a good mood. Your parents are going to feel ambushed and be more likely to say no if you ask them to let you make an account as soon as they walk in the door or wake up in the morning. Choose a calm time during the day when they aren’t doing anything important. Pick a day when they seem like they’re content to get the most positive response.
- Don’t try to make your parents happy beforehand by being nicer than you normally are. They’ll notice that you’re only being nice to get what you want.
- Try to talk to both parents at the same time. If you only ask one of your parents when the other isn’t around, they’re likely to say they need to talk with your other parent first before giving you an answer.
- Start the conversation by letting them know what you want to talk about. Say, “I’d like to talk to you about making a YouTube account,” and give them a second to ask questions before stating your case.
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Give your parents time to consider it and don’t bother them about it. If you pester your parents or ask them frequently, they’re going to think that you’re going to get addicted to YouTube. This will make them more inclined to forbid you from getting a YouTube account, so give them time to think about it after you ask. Wait at least 3-4 days before asking them again if they say no the first time.
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Stay calm if you aren’t getting what you want. One of the worst things that you can do is throw a tantrum if your parents say no. If you lose your cool, it will only confirm to them that you aren’t mature enough for a YouTube account. If you take the rejection like an adult it may help them change their mind in the future.
- Even if you want to talk back, never show your parents disrespect when trying to get something. It will only work against you.
- If you find yourself getting frustrated, try slowing your breathing down and counting from 1 to 10 in your head. This is a simple way to calm down when you’re frustrated.
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Offer to give them unlimited access to your account. Your family’s main concern is likely going to be your safety. It will be easier for them to feel good about you having a YouTube account if they can actively monitor your online activity. Tell them that you will give them your username and password so they can see what you’re up to whenever they want.
- If you do this, keep in mind that your viewing history is stored on your account. Don’t watch anything that they wouldn’t want you watching. Either that or clear your video history. Keep in mind that clearing your video history (especially every hour) is suspicious and could land you in a lot of trouble if they discover it.
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Tell them about YouTube Kids and restricted mode. If their concern is that you’re going to be exposed to inappropriate videos, offer to use YouTube Kids or restricted mode, which automatically removes inappropriate videos from the recommended tab and search engine. If getting a standard YouTube account is totally off of the table, YouTube Kids can offer you an alternative account with restricted privileges. [3] X Research source
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Promise to only publish unlisted or private videos. If you want to make your videos, your parents may not know that you can limit the audience that views them. You can make a video private, which means that only you can see it. You can also upload a video as unlisted, which means that only people with a link can see the video. Agreeing to only upload private or unlisted videos could be a good middle ground for both you and your parents. [4] X Research source
- To change the audience settings on a YouTube video, go into the YouTube Studio. Click the “Videos” button on the left tab. Select “live” to see your published videos. Click the pencil icon on a video and select whether you want it to be public, private, or unlisted.
- If you make your videos private, you can still share them with your friends without letting random people online find them.
- Offering to not show your face in videos and to disable comments may persuade them that you’ll be safe as well.
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Agree to show your parents any video or comment before you post. Your parents will be more comfortable with you getting a YouTube channel if they know that you’re showing them everything that you’re looking at. If they do let you make an account, follow through by showing them everything that you’re doing without waiting for them to ask. This will help build trust as time passes. [5] X Trustworthy Source Pew Research Center Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends Go to source
- Your parents will eventually let you do your own thing without checking every single thing after you’ve demonstrated that you can handle a YouTube account responsibly.
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Offer to avoid live streams altogether. Live streams represent a problem for most parents because inappropriate things could happen on a stream without warning. To avoid this problem altogether, promise to stay off of live streams completely.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat's your advice for asking permission if your parents are always saying no?Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).Try to understand why they said no. If you ask to be allowed to get back at midnight and they say 10 PM, instead of getting angry, try to understand why that is. You’ll get an honest answer. If you can understand where they're coming from, you can address that point, and maybe promise them that you understand them. In due time, they will start to trust you more.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about convincing your parents, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC .
References
- ↑ https://www.thejournal.ie/readme/melanie-murphy-youtube-2-2922110-Aug2016/
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/03/learning/how-do-you-get-what-you-want-from-your-parents.html
- ↑ https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/can-i-turn-off-the-related-videos-that-show-up-when-my-kid-watches-on-youtube
- ↑ https://techwiser.com/public-private-and-unlisted-videos/
- ↑ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/03/22/how-parents-feel-about-and-manage-their-teens-online-behavior-and-screen-time/
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- "I make a lot of PowerPoints. This one was emotional. They love to see them and I said that if they do they'll love my videos. Dad's actually been fine with it for I while but I'm waiting on my mum's answer. Fingers crossed!" ..." more
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