Handle suicidal thoughts and get the help you need fast
Dealing with suicidal thoughts can feel like an agonizing and isolating burden in your day-to-day life. As invisible as it may seem, this pain you’re experiencing is real—but that doesn’t mean you have to deal with it alone. With help from psychologists Catherine Boswell, Ph.D., and Urmi Patel, PsyD, we’ll walk you through the best ways to seek help and safely deal with your suicidal thoughts, including all the different helplines, text lines, and other resources available to you.
Disclaimer: If you’re feeling actively suicidal, call 988 (USA and Canada), 0800 689 5652 (UK), or the suicide prevention hotline or text line for your country .
Things You Should Know
- Call emergency services or request to be taken to a hospital if you’re feeling actively suicidal.
- Put off any immediate plans to take your own life. You are in control of your own life, and you don’t have to do anything at this moment.
- Ask a friend or loved one to be with you if you don’t feel safe by yourself, or contact a suicide prevention hotline (988 in the US).
Steps
Section 1 of 3:
Ways to Deal with Suicidal Thoughts
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Get to a safe place. Call emergency services or go to a hospital if you think you might harm yourself. Find emergency service and hotline numbers by country here .
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Put off any immediate plans. Make a promise to yourself that you’ll wait a set amount of time rather than doing anything in the moment. At the end of the day, you are in control of your life and what comes next—there is no pressure, deadline, or obligation to follow through with any of your thoughts. [1] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- In 2000, Kevin Hines attempted suicide at the Golden Gate Bridge, but realized immediately after jumping that he didn’t actually want to die. Thanks to the miraculous intervention of a sea lion in the water below, Hines was able to survive and make a full recovery; now, he advocates for suicide prevention. [2] X Research source His story (as do many others) shows how immense pain can distort a person’s perceptions in the moment—taking time to wait gives your mind time to clear.
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Visualize your friends and loved ones. In the heat of the moment, it’s all too easy to indulge suicidal thoughts. Whenever you’re tempted to give into these thoughts, though, try thinking instead about all the people in your life who love you and would miss you if you weren’t around. [3] X Research source
- No matter how many friends or loved ones you have, your life matters and has an impact on all the people around you, including your neighbors, co-workers, and acquaintances. All of these people would feel a noticeable gap in their life if you weren’t around.
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Tell someone exactly how you’re feeling. Use phrases like “I’ve experienced these feelings for a long time…” “I’m considering…” or “Recently, I’ve been struggling with…” to start the conversation. A trusted friend or loved one can help walk you through exactly how you’re feeling and give you valuable advice and pointers on how to move forward. [4] X Research source
- If you aren’t sure who to reach out to, trained counselors are always available if you call your country’s suicide hotline (988 in the US). Free online sources like 7Cups , My Black Dog , and Togetherall are also great places to chat with understanding peers.
- Never feel embarrassed or “weak” about asking for help . According to psychologist Catherine Boswell, Ph.D, it’s important to realize that “asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness.”
- Boswell also suggests viewing your situation in reverse. If someone came and asked you for help, would you judge them? It’s important to extend the same kindness and patience to yourself that you would to others.
- Sharing your thoughts can be a helpful way to give yourself a reality check, agrees clinical psychologist Urmi Patel, PsyD. By talking it out, you can realize that these thoughts are false, and that ending your life isn’t the right way to resolve whatever issue you’re facing.
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Do a grounding exercise to change your mindstate. Staying grounded requires you to focus on specific aspects of your surroundings, which helps you temporarily escape your suicidal thoughts as you center yourself in the here and now. [5] X Research source
- 5-4-3-2-1 exercise: Focus on 5 objects you’re able to see, 4 sounds you’re able to hear, 3 items you’re able to physically feel, 2 things you’re able to taste, and 1 scent you’re able to smell
- Self-soothing exercise: Engage your physical senses with a variety of enjoyable and comforting activities, like eating your favorite snack, spritzing yourself with your favorite body spray, looking up pictures of beautiful scenery, and so on. [6] X Research source
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Reframe your thought patterns with positive thinking exercises. If you’re struggling to escape your suicidal thoughts, try guiding your thought patterns in a more positive direction by: [7] X Research source
- Practicing gratitude : List at 3 things that you’re thankful for, even if they seem mundane. Examples: electricity, internet, loving friends, a comfortable bed, etc.
- Focusing on the positive : Identify at least 3 positive things that happened in the past day, even if they’re simple. Examples: I made time to eat breakfast, I didn’t run into much traffic, I got to see my friend, etc.
- Adjusting negativity: Identify something negative that happened and think about the positivity that came from it. Example: I overslept my alarm, but was able to get a little extra sleep.
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Try mindfully meditating . Mindfulness meditation revolves around relaxing and focusing on the present moment, which can help you break away from negative trains of thought. [8] X Research source A great way to mindfully meditate is to sit and focus on your breathing. [9] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- As you meditate, try to let your thoughts drift by without worrying or stressing about them.
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Slow down your breathing. Breathing deeply and slowly can be a great way to ground and separate yourself from your negative thoughts. Give some of these strategies a try, like: [10] X Research source
- 4-5-8 breathing: Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold the breath in your chest for 5 seconds, and then exhale it through your mouth for 8 seconds.
- Box breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold that breath in your chest for another 4 seconds, and then exhale the breath for 6 seconds. Hold your breath for another 2 seconds, and then repeat the pattern of inhaling, holding, exhaling, and holding for a total of 5-10 minutes.
- Slow breathing: Get comfortable, close your eyes, and pay close attention to the way you’re breathing. Identify the way the breath travels throughout your body, slowing down your breath as you go.
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Try doing a distracting activity to get your mind off things. Any type of positive distraction can be helpful when you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, whether that’s walking around your neighborhood, rewatching your favorite TV show, or doing some arts and crafts. You could also: [11] X Research source
- Play games built into the Google search engine, like Solitaire, Snake, or Pac-Man
- Cook/bake a new dish
- Use Google’s digital coloring book
- Eat at your favorite restaurant
- Reread a favorite book that brings you comfort
- Go on a road-trip
- Hang out with your dog in the park
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Section 3 of 3:
Long-Term Coping Strategies
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Create a safety plan for yourself to follow in the future. A safety plan is a personal toolkit that helps you identify when you’re in a suicidal headspace and know what to do moving forward. A safety plan can include: [17] X Trustworthy Source Mind U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems. Go to source
- A list of signs that you’re in a bad headspace (spiraling thoughts, suicidal ideation, etc.)
- Contact information for people you can reach out to (e.g., friends, loved ones, healthcare professionals, etc.)
- Phone numbers for different helplines and text lines
- Ways to stay safe if you’re feeling suicidal
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Craft a crisis box for yourself. A crisis box (or “hope box”) is filled with items that help you feel better during a rough time. Stick items in your crisis box that speak to the different senses, like a photo of you and your friends, a scented candle, your favorite candy, and/or a fidget toy. Whenever you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, use this box as a source of comfort. [18] X Research source
- Your crisis box doesn’t actually have to be a box—it can be a tin, gift bag, or any other vessel that works for you.
- Feel free to personalize your crisis box however you’d like.
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Create and follow a scheduled routine for yourself. Following a set schedule can help you feel grounded and in control, even if your suicidal thoughts are making you feel off-kilter. Fill this schedule with necessary, non-negotiable tasks that you complete each day, like eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, going for a walk, and/or drinking a cup of tea. [19] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Clinical psychologist Urmi Patel, PsyD explains how the key reason someone might take their life “has to do with the feeling of hopelessness or not truly believing that there’s a way out.” She emphasizes how it’s important to break down all the different things you do in a day, like brushing your teeth or having a cup of coffee, and identify all the times you chose to live and move forward (and why that’s the case).
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Break your struggles down into smaller, more manageable tasks. Identify a major problem and why it’s causing you stress. What steps can you take to approach this problem in a more reasonable and manageable way? Breaking down the problem can make it easier deal with, and may help improve your frame of mind. [20] X Research source
- Example: If you’re worried about a large, upcoming bill, see if there’s a way to defer the payment or split it up into smaller payments.
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Get a little exercise. Go for a walk, play a pick-up game of soccer with some friends, or even dance around your bedroom—anything that gets you moving can help you feel a little more positive and uplifted. Aim to exercise for around 30 minutes each day (or in shorter, 10-minute chunks if that feels more manageable). [21] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
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Fill your life with fulfilling activities and hobbies. Even if you aren’t in the best headspace now, think about the hobbies that made you happy in the past. Look for ways to sprinkle these activities into your day-to-day life, even if you don’t have the motivation at first. [22] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- If you used to do community service, look for ways to volunteer in your local community (like helping at a local food bank).
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Cultivate more self-love in your life. Focus on altering your negative thought patterns and realizing the negative thoughts are not true. To start relieving the pain of your negative feelings, it’s important to be kind to yourself and see yourself as a strong person who is persevering. [23] X Research source
- Myths about suicide, such as the idea that it's a selfish act, are perpetuated by many cultures, causing people who have suicidal thoughts to feel guilty or ashamed on top of the negative feelings they're already burdened with. [24] X Research source Learning how to separate these myths from reality can help you cope better with your thoughts.
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Join a mental health support group. Support groups can be a great way to connect with other people who have lived through similar feelings and experiences. To find a support group near you, check out resources like:
- NAMI (US)
- MHA National (US)
- Rethink (UK)
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Meet with a mental health professional. Getting professional support is nothing to be ashamed of—it proves that you’re strong enough to ask for help, and that you care enough about your well-being to take extra steps to feel better. [25] X Research source Click here to find a therapist in your area (US only).
- There are a lot of promising therapies designed for people who struggle with suicidal thoughts and ideation, including Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavior for Suicide Prevention (CBT-SP). [26] X Trustworthy Source American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Health organization devoted to saving lives and helping those affected by suicide. Go to source
- Working with a mental health professional can help you uncover some of the reasons behind your suicidal thoughts. As you find ways to address these issues, you’ll likely feel better over time.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat if people think I'm overreacting and should get over it?Karissa Brennan is a licensed Mental Health Counselor, Distance Credentialed Counselor, and Psychotherapist based in New York City with over 9 years of experience. She received her MA in Mental Health Counseling from the City College of New York in 2011. She is a member of the International Society for Mental Health Online.If people think you're overreacting and should get over something, they might be incapable of having a serious discussion with you for one reason or another. Perhaps they're busy, or the topic is too "real" for them. If your family and friends have not been understanding or helpful, then try to find someone who will take you seriously and who will be able to help you. For example, you could try talking to your doctor, therapist, teacher, school counselor, or human resources manager.
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QuestionI feel like suicide will end my pain. Will it not?Karissa Brennan is a licensed Mental Health Counselor, Distance Credentialed Counselor, and Psychotherapist based in New York City with over 9 years of experience. She received her MA in Mental Health Counseling from the City College of New York in 2011. She is a member of the International Society for Mental Health Online.Suicide will end your life. Antidepressants and/or psychotherapy can ease psychological pain temporarily to create a comfortable space and you can seek therapy to work towards recovery and learn tools for dealing with your emotions. There are many ways to get through pain, and identifying where the pain is coming from is a good start.
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QuestionIs thinking of giving up on it all depression?Shari Forschen is a Registered Nurse at Sanford Health in North Dakota. Shari has worked in healthcare since 1996 and her expertise lies in acute care bedside nursing on a medical oncology floor. She received her degree from Medcenter one College of Nursing in 2003 and her Family Nurse Practitioner Masters from the University of North Dakota in 2014. Shari is a member of the American Nurses Association.This is a medical emergency. If by meaning "giving up on it all" equates to suicide, you should call 911 and/or go to emergency department.
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Additional Resources
| Organization | Phone Number |
|---|---|
| National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline | 988 |
| Suicide.org | (800) 784-2433 |
| IMAlive | (800) 442-4673 |
| Samaritans (UK) | 116 123 |
| Boys Town | (800) 448-3000 |
| The Trevor Project (LGBTQ) | (866) 488-7386 |
Tips
- A mental health support group can be a great source of comfort and solace when you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts and ideation. [27] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to sourceThanks
- Suicidal thoughts can be the result of other mental health conditions, such as depression and bipolar disorder, which are treatable. Stressful or traumatic events may also prompt suicidal thoughts. Whatever is behind your thoughts and feelings, a counselor or therapist can help you learn to deal with it and become healthier and happier. [28] X Research sourceThanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- The world can be harsh, but don't judge yourself harshly. You have inherent worth that circumstances cannot erase, even when people mistreat you. Overcoming challenges now will equip you to solve problems in the future. Ask yourself in the mirror "Who am I?" to rediscover your inner resilience.
- If you give up everything prematurely, you lose all chance to create future joy. You can no longer make treasured memories, help save lives, travel, or experience the beauty in ordinary moments. This pain too shall pass if you allow yourself to ride it out. You are loved more than you know.
- Voicing your feelings to trusted friends lightens the load. They may not fully understand your mindset, but the relief of confession makes a difference. Broach the topic gently by asking if they would miss you if you were gone. Their concern will likely touch you.
- You must reach out to someone — friend, family member, crisis line volunteer — rather than weather this alone. Your distress may seem insignificant next to global suffering, but your absence would devastate those who care about you. Let them lift you up.
- When racing thoughts threaten to overwhelm, try small coping techniques for quick relief. Mundane things like eating chocolate, screaming into a pillow, playing upbeat music or watching a comedy can provide distraction when you most need it.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about mental health, check out our in-depth interview with Urmi Patel, PsyD .
References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/sea-lion-saves-life-golden-gate-bridge/
- ↑ https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/about-mental-illness/learn-more-about-symptoms/suicidal-thoughts-how-to-cope/
- ↑ https://mentalhealth.org.nz/conditions/condition/suicide-coping-with-suicidal-thoughts
- ↑ https://my.uiw.edu/counseling/suicide-prevention-education/coping-with-suicidal-thoughts.html
- ↑ https://my.uiw.edu/counseling/suicide-prevention-education/coping-with-suicidal-thoughts.html
- ↑ https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/about-mental-illness/learn-more-about-symptoms/suicidal-thoughts-how-to-cope/
- ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-manage-suicidal-thoughts/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
- ↑ https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/about-mental-illness/learn-more-about-symptoms/suicidal-thoughts-how-to-cope/
- ↑ https://my.uiw.edu/counseling/suicide-prevention-education/coping-with-suicidal-thoughts.html
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20048230
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://d3mh72llnfrpe6.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/26212058/cwst.pdf
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/helping-yourself-long-term/
- ↑ https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/HOPEBOX-resource.pdf
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/about-mental-illness/learn-more-about-symptoms/suicidal-thoughts-how-to-cope/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201204/fighting-suicidal-thoughts
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2010/04/28/126365907/deconstructing-myths-about-suicide
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/suicide
- ↑ https://afsp.org/therapies/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20048230
- ↑ https://www.healthquality.va.gov/guidelines/MH/srb/OvercomingSuicidalThoughtsandFeelingsFINAL.pdf
About This Article
Article Summary
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To cope with suicidal thoughts, try doing anything you can to distract yourself, like calling a friend to talk, watching your favorite movie, or playing with your dog. If you're not up for that, try making a list of all the things you love, like your friends, family, pets, and hobbies. Remember that you don't have to fight your suicidal thoughts alone. If you're feeling overwhelmed, call emergency services or a suicide hotline, like 1-800-273-TALK, to talk to someone and get help. To learn how to overcome suicidal thoughts and start feeling happy again, keep reading.
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,070,361 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "This article gave me some amazing tips and advice on how to cope with suicidal thoughts, such as talking to a health professional, trusted friend or loved one, calling suicide prevention organizations and hotlines for help, avoiding drugs/alcohol, getting enough exercise as well as an undisturbed sleep. I think making lists of things I enjoy, hobbies, achievements, staying calm, and positive encouragement will be really helpful to fight depression and suicidal thoughts." ..." more
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"This article gave me some amazing tips and advice on how to cope with suicidal thoughts, such as talking to a health professional, trusted friend or loved one, calling suicide prevention organizations and hotlines for help, avoiding drugs/alcohol, getting enough exercise as well as an undisturbed sleep. I think making lists of things I enjoy, hobbies, achievements, staying calm, and positive encouragement will be really helpful to fight depression and suicidal thoughts."
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