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Easy ways to tell if she likes you as more than a friend (and what you can do about it)
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She glances your way, laughs at your jokes, and acts nervously around you. You’re not sure if she’s flirting, being friendly, or is simply uninterested. Whether you’ve had a crush on a girl for ages and are dying to know if the feeling is mutual or you just want to know if she likes you for curiosity’s sake, we’ll help you out. We consulted our dating experts to bring you 25 foolproof signs that a girl likes you.
Things You Should Know
- Look at how she acts when she’s around you—open body language, eye contact, and physical touch are signs that she could be interested.
- See what she says during a conversation; if she likes you, she might compliment you (or even tease you).
- Get the ball rolling by offering her a smile and striking up a conversation. Take the plunge and ask her out if you think that she’s interested in you.
Steps
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Look for open body language . When a girl likes you, she often faces your direction. If a girl turns her torso toward you in an open manner, she likely feels confident talking with you. If she has a closed body position, namely crossed arms or legs, she may be shy or nervous to talk to you or she may simply be creating a barrier to show that she's uninterested. [1] X Research source
- If she's sitting with her legs crossed, watch her feet. If they are pointed toward you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you. [2] X Research source
- Generally speaking, a girl will stand closer to you and have more relaxed body language if she feels comfortable around you—for example, she'll have relaxed shoulders and won't cross her arms. But, everyone's personality and cultural upbringing are different, so don't take it as a sign she's not into you if this isn't the case. [3]
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Expert Source
Elvina Lui, MFT
Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 15 March 2019.
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Pay attention to eye contact . If a girl likes you, she tends to either hold her gaze on you for a few seconds or glance down the moment your eyes make contact with hers. Either of these responses could mean that she likes you. If she pulls away quickly, it often means that she's nervous or not ready to reveal her true intentions yet, but she may still like you.
- If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, this could mean that she likes you.
- When a girl likes you, her pupils might dilate (though this may be hard to tell).
- Reader Poll: We asked 1507 wikiHow readers, and 71% agreed that dilating pupils during eye contact is the hardest signal to pick up on when you’re figuring out whether or not someone is into you. [Take Poll] So if you’re struggling to read that body language cue, you’re not alone!
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Notice if she touches you or tries to get closer. When a girl likes you, she often tries to touch you, as this is a noticeable yet still subtle way to flirt. It allows a girl to size up how responsive you are. She may touch your arm when you say something funny, “accidentally” brush your shoulder or hands with hers, or gently place her hand on your knee. [4] X Research source
- Not all girls will feel comfortable reaching out using touch. In this case, don't assume that she doesn't like you just because she doesn't try to touch you. She may be too nervous to do so. If you like her, don't be shy––break the touch barrier yourself and see how she responds.
- She may also find other reasons to touch you, such as softly punching your arm. These "one-of-the-mates" moves can be a thinly disguised way of getting closer to you without it being too obvious to your friends and hers.
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Pay attention to whether she randomly hugs you. This is especially significant if her random hugs are reserved mostly for you. Hugs are a friendly, affectionate way of getting closer to you and touching you without it necessarily compromising her stealthy flirting skills. Return the hug if you like her back, or gently refuse her hug if you don’t want her to get the wrong impression.
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See if she mirrors your moves. If a girl imitates you—for example, if you run your fingers through your hair and you notice her do the same a few seconds later—she may be subconsciously mirroring your movements. This can be a tell that she likes you.
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Notice if she’s playing with her hair. If a girl runs her fingers through her hair or brushes her hair back every once in a while, it can be a sign that she's flirting with you . [5] X Expert Source Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. -
Look for signs of nervousness or fidgeting. When a girl likes you, she may touch her lips, collarbone, or neck to draw your attention to these areas. She may even add something to her outfit in in front of you just to look her best. [6] X Research source
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Notice if she smiles around you. This may be her way of letting you know that she’s comfortable and happy in your presence. When a girl likes you, she may also laugh at your jokes (regardless of how funny they actually are).
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Take context into account. The way you interpret a girl's body language varies depending on the context. For example, if you're talking one-on-one with a girl, her touching your arm for a few seconds could be considered flirting. However, if she quickly taps your shoulder to get your attention and tell you that your friend is looking for you, she may really just be trying to help, not flirt.
- If you are having an intense conversation, a girl may look at you without breaking eye contact. This does not necessarily mean she likes you. It could just be a conversational practice of hers. However, if she makes eye contact with you for an extended period of time without talking, or if she looks at you and breaks away the minute you look back at her, she may be intrigued by you.
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Be receptive to compliments. If a girl compliments you, she could very well like you. This may be her way of making you feel desired.
- She might say things like “you have amazing eyes” or “you’re so athletic—do you play any sports?”
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Observe her friends’ reactions. If you see most of her friends glancing back at you and smiling or giggling, this probably means that she has told her friends about you and they're "in the know." In some cases, a friend may actually be bold enough to come and tell you that her friend likes you.
- When she is having a conversation with her friends and you come over, they might stop talking all of a sudden. This likely means that you were the subject of the recently ended conversation.
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Notice her style. When a girl likes you, she will often try to impress you with her style. She may choose to wear slightly revealing clothes or put on lipstick to catch your eye. [7] X Research source
- Every girl has a different sense of style, and not all girls will try to dress as aforementioned when they like somebody. However, if you notice that the girl you’re wondering about dresses a little more nicely around you, it could be a sign that she wants to impress you.
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Be mindful of gentle, friendly teasing. When a girl likes you, she may tease you lightly about certain things you do or say. Ways of teasing include calling you out on a joke that actually wasn’t that funny, poking fun at something you’re wearing, or lightly telling you that you’re trying too hard.
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Notice if she makes excuses to talk to you. She may “friend” you on social media, talk to you in person every day after class, or text you randomly. These could be signs that this girl is intrigued and wants to get to know you more.
- This alone isn't a definitive sign that a girl likes you. A girl who just wants to be friends may also try to engage in conversation with you. But if a girl tries to talk to you often, displays a lot of flirty body language, and compliments you often, she may be trying to tell you that she likes you.
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Notice if she mentions your relationship status. When a girl likes you, she will want to know whether you are single or not so that she can decide if she should flirt with you. She may directly ask you if you have a girlfriend or she may use a subtler approach.
- She might tease you by saying things like “I bet you went to see that movie with your girlfriend.” If you like her, use this as an opportunity to flirt back. You could say “I don’t have a girlfriend, but I have been meaning to see that movie...want to go with me Friday night?”
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Look for "damsel in distress" moments. When a girl likes you, she may pretend to be in a mildly vulnerable situation to test your response. For example, if you're outside and the girl you like starts saying "I'm cold!" that's a subtle hint that she wants you to give her your sweater. Doing so is a very sweet gesture, especially if you want to show the girl that you like her.
- Sometimes a girl will pretend to be really bad at doing something, like saying she doesn’t understand the homework. That is your chance to offer some assistance; be aware that she will most likely be doing this on purpose just to test your reaction in hopes that you will help out.
- If she doesn't fancy you but there is somebody she likes in the room, she may pout or show other signs of disappointment if you offer to help first. In this case, at least you'll know how she feels and will be able to move on.
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Test her interest by asking her for help. If she's always there for you when you need her, she might like you. But don't assume that she's into you only from one experience. Ask her occasionally for small things, like chewing gum or a pen, and notice how she reacts. If she's eager to help you and shows other signs of liking you, then she very well might.
- Don’t use this approach too much or tasks that seem too difficult, she may think you're lazy, testing her, or are even a bit of a nuisance. So don't overdo it; you don't want to risk her ceasing to like you if she actually does.
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Notice how she acts around others. If a girl flirts with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she likes you. She may just get a thrill out of flirting, or she may not even notice that she’s flirting. The best way to tell is to notice how she acts around other people.
- If she treats you differently than she does others, be it by holding eye contact just a bit longer with you than with anybody else or by being gentler in her teasing with you, then she may like you.
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Smile at her. A natural, genuine, carefree smile is the perfect way to let a girl know that you like being around her. It will also let her know that you’re a happy person, and since happiness can be contagious, she’ll associate positive emotions with you. If she returns your smile, you can bet she feels comfortable around you.
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Strike up a conversation . This is a great way to gauge her interest level. As you talk, notice if she gives you any signs or hints that she likes you or if she uses vaguely romantic language. She could also show her interest in you by nodding frequently or repeating some of your phrases.
- To start a conversation, you can ask her an open-ended question about class, work, or pop culture. It could be something as simple as “what do you think about this band?” or “how’s your day going?”
- Don’t fret if the girl you like doesn’t initiate a conversation with you. If she likes you, she may be too shy or nervous to do so! Even if she seems like the most confident girl you know, she may have had a bad experience in the past or simply may not be ready to approach you yet but will be receptive if you start the conversation first.
- If you’re already friends, starting a conversation will be easy. In this case, the most effective way to tell if she likes you is to pick up on body language cues or to see if she treats you differently than she does her other friends.
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Be attentive. If you like the girl, put your best foot forward by remembering a few small details about the things she tells you. Listen carefully to the things she says so that you will have them for future reference.
- For example, if she tells you the name of her favorite band, bring up one of the band’s songs during your next chat. She’ll be impressed that you took notice! If she wasn’t already interested in you romantically, she might start to reconsider once she sees how attentive you are.
- Talking also provides another opportunity to observe her body language, so watch for physical cues such as subtle touches.
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Suggest that you like her . Only do this if you actually do like her and if you get the sense that she likes you back. This is a blunt move that can seem daunting, but if you like the girl and are fairly certain she might like you back, a bold approach which could open the door to you asking her out on a date with the certainty that she likes you back.
- You can let her know you’re interested in them by saying something like “I really like having you as a friend, but I’d love to be more than friends.”
- Don’t tell her you like her if you are just looking to satisfy your curiosity about her interest in you. This can be hurtful and can sever her trust in you.
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Ask her out . If you like the girl but aren’t sure if she likes you back, you can test the waters by saying “I’ve been hearing great things about this movie,___. Would you like to come and see it with me?” Keep the tone casual. If she says yes, you’ll know she’s interested. If she says no, you can change the conversation to something else.
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Be receptive to her signals. Back off if you get the sense that she actually doesn’t like you or engage in a flirty banter if you sense there is mutual interest.
- Don't take it personally if she declines your romantic advances, even when you thought she liked you back. A good relationship starts with a strong mutual connection. Moreover, there are plenty of other girls who will be right for you.
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Avoid overanalyzing. Trying to figure out whether a girl likes you can be all-consuming and distracting. Overanalyzing her behavior may result in your becoming obsessed with simply "winning her over" rather than getting to know her as a person.
- Rather than investing tons of time in determining whether or not she likes you, take opportunities every now and then to spend time with her and her friends. Just make sure to make your intentions relatively clear (via subtle flirting), or else you may become permanently "friend-zoned."
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How Do You Tell If Someone Likes You?
Ways to Ask a Girl if She Likes You
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I flirt without saying anything?Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.When you're flirting, smiling is very important, because it shows that you're engaged and allows the other person to feel at ease with you. Eye contact is also very important, but be careful not to stare too intently, as it can come across as intimidating. Also, leaning forward when you talk to someone shows them that you're interested in what they're saying.
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QuestionHow can you make a girl fall in love with you?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerThe short answer is, you can’t. There’s no way to control how someone else feels about you. The best you can do is show her that you’re interested and be your best self around her so that she gets to know your attractive qualities.
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QuestionHow can you tell if a girl likes you over text?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerText can be tricky because you miss out on clues like body language and tone of voice. Look for other hints, like if she uses a lot of playful emojis or gets very chatty over text. On the other hand, if she gives you a lot of dismissive one-word answers (like “yeah” or “k”), she may not be into you.
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Tips
- If the girl you like always texts you back, but often waits hours or days to do so, it could mean she's playing hard to get. [8] X Expert Source Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.Thanks - If you like a girl, don’t “flirt around.” If she sees you putting your arm around another girl or sees you flirt with others, she may assume that she is not special to you and may stop trying to get your attention.Thanks
- If a girl asks you to go out and do something with her only or with another couple, this may indicate that she is trying to send you the message that she wants to be more than friends.Thanks
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Warnings
- If a girl seems to be purposely avoiding any sort of contact with you - say, actively avoiding any chance to talk to you, even if you’re in a group setting - chances are she thinks you like her but she is not interested. It could also be that she's negatively reacting to advances that are too blunt. Take her silence and avoidance as a cue to back off and give her space. You can try flirting with her again after a couple of weeks. If she still responds negatively, you may have to cut your losses.Thanks
- If a girl seems standoffish and avoids you, don't necessarily give up entirely, as you may be mistaken. Instead, slow down and give her room to breathe. She may be interested in you but may be uncomfortable dating someone publicly. In this case, try to be more subtle about expressing your interest in her.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/feet-body-language/
- ↑ Elvina Lui, MFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 March 2019.
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202109/signs-someone-is-nervous-around-you-because-they-you
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
About This Article
Article Summary
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If you want to know if a girl likes you, start by looking at her body language. A girl who’s interested in you will probably use a relaxed, open posture when she’s talking to you, with her body facing toward you and her arms at her sides—not crossed in front of her chest. Eye contact is another major clue, so pay attention to whether she locks eyes with you often. If she’s shy, you might catch her stealing lots of quick glances instead. You might also notice her smiling a lot, fiddling with her hair, or mirroring your movements and expressions when you talk to her. A girl who likes you will want to be close to you, and she might look for excuses to casually touch you, brush up against you, or give you hugs. Aside from body language, look out for other clues, like lots of compliments and friendly teasing. It’s also a good sign if she randomly texts you sometimes to start a conversation, shares a funny picture or link, or just says “hi.” If you think you see signs that she’s into you, try striking up a conversation with her or asking her out on a casual date. If she seems excited to hang out with you, then she probably likes you. For tips on how to subtly show a girl that you're interested, keep reading!
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- "It help me cause I have a schoolmate that directly hugged me last month. I didn't know what to do, so to be more polite, I hugged her back. That's when I went wrong. I didn't like the girl who suddenly hugged me at that time because I never hugged a girl before in my life, except for my mom. I searched here in wikiHow that is how to know a girl likes you. I read something saying she do not want to get attached to you because of her past. There is one girl that blocked me on Facebook. This website is helpful." ..." more
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"It help me cause I have a schoolmate that directly hugged me last month. I didn't know what to do, so to be more polite, I hugged her back. That's when I went wrong. I didn't like the girl who suddenly hugged me at that time because I never hugged a girl before in my life, except for my mom. I searched here in wikiHow that is how to know a girl likes you. I read something saying she do not want to get attached to you because of her past. There is one girl that blocked me on Facebook. This website is helpful."
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"Not really "success" but I just wanted to say I'm in 6th grade and this girl has liked me since 3rd grade. It's not a good thing either, she acts as the antagonist of a horror movie. It's kind of fun though because I and my friends would always run away from her and her friends and always hide and stuff. Now I'm going back to school and she wasn't in my part of the week, which was a relief. And finally, the question you might be asking? Do I like her back? And to that, I say meh."
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"I had a feeling this girl is into me. She always looks at me when we pass each other in the hallways, and I've caught her staring at me from time to time. Her girlfriends seem to know who I am because I've seen them all look at me at the same time in the school cafeteria. I was previously afraid of approaching her, but this article has given me some useful hints that she might be interested. Thanks wikiHow for giving me this newfound confidence. "
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"I already know that the girl I like likes me back, but for people who don't know, this would really help them. One more piece of advice that should be on here: just tell her that you like her, whether that's in a text message or in real life. If she doesn't like you, then give her reasons to. If she does like you, then yay! Good luck!"
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"Damn I was so focused in my studies that I didn't notice the girl who has been sitting beside me for 3 years, helping me whenever she can, asking for help from me, asking for hugs, constantly starting up a conversation, asking about my future after school, copying my lingo, etc., might be into me. I am going to ask her out."
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