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Navigate life as a short king with confidence and style
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It can be tough to be shorter than the average guy, but you're not alone—lots of men struggle with insecurity about their height. But there's a lot you can do to feel more confident and self-assured, and we can help! Keep reading for advice on how to deal with being short, including ways to adjust your perspective and style tips to improve your self-image.
Things You Should Know
- Learn to deal with being a short male by acknowledging your negative thoughts about your height and working to confront them.
- Think about what you admire in other people: is it their height? It’s probably not—and they probably aren’t too worried about your height, either.
- Boost your self-image by dressing for a lengthening effect: get clothes tailored to your body, if you can, and wear clothes with vertical patterns.
Steps
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1Take control of your negative thoughts. It's much easier said than done to change the way you think. That said, it's possible to push away negative sentiments about your height by reminding yourself that perceptions of personal shortcomings are just that—perceptions. To start doing so, try to be more aware of your cognitive behavior. This means recognizing and identifying your thoughts when you have them, and questioning them. [1] X Research source
- When you think negatively about your height, ask yourself why you believe your height has anything to do with your worth. For instance, it may be because of external factors, like a comment someone made. Then challenge that belief: call your mind out, and redirect your thoughts!
- It's worth seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist to help you become aware of your thoughts. They will help you use mindfulness to catch yourself in negative thought processes and replace them with positive, more worthwhile thoughts.
- Try to identify and write down where your ideas about being short came from. Pinpointing the source of your thoughts can help you to question their truthfulness. It may help to keep a journal to record your thoughts in.
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2Focus on the physical advantages of being short. Though it may not always feel like it, there are some definitive advantages to being a short king. For one, you likely build and retain muscles more easily. There are other potential physical advantages as well, such as quickness and agility that can benefit from a lower center of gravity. [2] X Research source
- And don't forget, attraction is a purely subjective phenomenon. Some potential partners will absolutely prefer short men, just like some people are attracted to guys with beards or bald guys.
- Along with physical advantages, short men tend to have more stable marriages, lower cancer rates, more active sex lives, and longer lives overall. [3] X Research source
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3Think about the practical benefits of being short. Aside from strength and agility, there are other tangible benefits to being short as well. For instance, you will likely have an easier time staying comfortable in airplane seats and smaller vehicles. While these may not seem like important considerations, it's worth acknowledging the fact that there are always relative advantages for people of any height.
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4Consider what you like about others to see what they probably admire in you. Think about what you like about other people. In particular, think about what makes you enjoy spending time with certain people and value the relationships you have with them. Chances are, you don't worry too much about their height—and they likely don’t worry too much about yours. Whatever reputation you've developed has much more to do with your behavior than your stature. [4] X Research source
- If you're consistently bummed about your height, it may help to write out all of the attributes you like yourself. Don't limit the list to just physical attributes. As you look the list over, think about which factors are the most important to you.
- Look for role models of similar height. Find some of your best role models and emulate what they do to overcome feeling vertically challenged.
EXPERT TIPDating CoachJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.Potential dates will also care more about what's on the inside. Sure, some people may prefer taller partners, but not everyone does. What matters more is how you make your partner feel, which boils down to your unique qualities, like your charisma and personality.
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Get your clothes altered to fit you better, as necessary. Tailored clothing helps people look their best, and is the easiest way to immediately up the quality of your wardrobe. Clothes are designed for average-height people and may not fit all body types well. Accordingly, your pants and shirts may be too long, or may be sewed in a way that makes them fold in odd spots. [5] X Research source
- In particular, get your pants hemmed —it will not only shorten the legs, but make the pants fit better on your whole lower body.
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Buy “made to measure.” You can also purchase clothing made to fit you perfectly. This is especially worthwhile for button-up shirts, which will almost always need to be altered or custom made to fit you well. On the topic of dress shirts, opt for short, downward-pointed collars. [6] X Research source
- For online options, Modern Tailor and Blank Label are retailers that specialize in making clothes to fit your specific measurements.
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3Wear pants at your waist instead of at your hips. A longer leg line from a longer pant leg will help make you appear taller. Though many popular styles of pants are worn on the hips, this risks making your legs look stocky. To emphasize a lengthening look, wear trousers without belt loops and wear suspenders. [7] X Research source
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4Accessorize to complement your body type. Watches, jewelry, and neckwear can help tie an outfit together. Choose particular items in proportion to your body type. Big watches belong on big wrists and stocky arms, while slim, short men look especially good in slim ties. [8] X Research source
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5Wear darker colors lower. Here's a simple style rule to follow: always keep darker colors lower on your body. A dark pair of pants and a lighter colored shirt will make you look taller, while a dark shirt and light colored pants risk making you look shorter. [9] X Research source
- Get a high quality pair of dark, well-fitting jeans. Opt for a pair that fits your form, avoiding a baggy or tight fit. Boot cut jeans are especially good for shorter legs, as they add silhouette to your body without adding boxiness. [10] X Research source
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6Wear vertical patterns. The classic example is vertical stripes, which have a slimming effect. Consistently-spaced, thin, vertical stripes without much room in between are ideal. Of course, any texture that is vertically oriented will have similar effects. Opt for corduroy and herringbone patterned materials for heavier weighted clothing. [11] X Research source
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7Get a jacket with the perfect proportions. Most importantly, avoid jackets that have extra space in the armpits. This may be the case even if the sleeves are the right length, and will make you look heavier. This is because the proportions of the jacket are not designed to fit your body. When shopping for a suit coat, work with a tailor who can make you a jacket or make the necessary alterations on a store-bought jacket. [12] X Research source
- Shoot for about 1 ⁄ 4 inch (0.64 cm) of shirt cuff showing beyond the end of your jacket sleeve. This is proportional to a shorter arm length. Opt for thin collars and lapels too, for a lengthening effect.
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8Avoid shorts and short sleeves. Simply put, shorts and short-sleeved shirts will make you look shorter. This is in part because short men usually have relatively short appendages, and these types of clothing will draw attention to them. Linen pants in hot weather, as well as long sleeved-shirts (even with the sleeves rolled up), are preferable. [13] X Research source
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9Consider getting shoe inserts. Shoe inserts are purely a matter of personal preference. They can subtly add height, but may be uncomfortable or otherwise bothersome. You can also try wearing cowboy boots or another type of footwear with heels that are higher, per the style of the shoe. [14] X Research source
- Avoid shoe inserts in high-heeled shoes, like many types of boots. The combination will tilt you forward too much.
- Shoes designed to add a few inches to your height are usually not the best option, as they will be noticeable.
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1Pause before reacting to a rude comment. One unfortunate aspect of being a short guy is that some people will bring it up often. These comments have more to do with the speaker's insecurity than they do with you. Next time someone mentions your height and it bothers you, pause a moment, remind yourself that they're acting immaturely, and see if you can simply let it pass. [15] X Research source
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Stick up for yourself. Sometimes, a response is warranted. The type of response, however, is up to you. Usually, refusing to acknowledge a tasteless comment is the best route. However, if the comments continue, it's best to confront the person in a direct, non-aggressive way. [16] X Research source
- Perhaps the best way to do so is by looking them in the eye and asking, “You're not trying to offend me, are you?” This provides them an out to laugh it off, while sending the message that you don't appreciate their comments.
- It is often completely fair to say something like, “Hey, I can joke about height with the best of them, but this is getting kind of old. Will you stop cracking jokes at my expense?”
- Most importantly, stay calm, and avoid responding with insults of your own.
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3Ignore the haters. Again, this is easier said than done. That said, if there's someone in your life to whom your height seems like a big deal, it's likely worth addressing. Say something like, “It seems like my height is a big deal to you. It's not to me, so I'd prefer it if you quit bringing it up.” If they don't get the message and insist on viewing you in terms of your height, you may do well to avoid them altogether. [17] X Research source
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References
- ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15851/1/Short-Man-Syndrome-Explained.html
- ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15851/1/Short-Man-Syndrome-Explained.html
- ↑ http://www.menshealth.com/guy-wisdom/benefits-of-being-short
- ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15851/1/Short-Man-Syndrome-Explained.html
- ↑ https://effortlessgent.com/five-tips-on-dressing-to-flatter-the-shorter-body-type/
- ↑ https://effortlessgent.com/five-tips-on-dressing-to-flatter-the-shorter-body-type/
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/
- ↑ https://effortlessgent.com/five-tips-on-dressing-to-flatter-the-shorter-body-type/
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/
- ↑ https://effortlessgent.com/five-tips-on-dressing-to-flatter-the-shorter-body-type/
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/
- ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15851/1/Short-Man-Syndrome-Explained.html
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/rude-people/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201511/what-s-the-best-way-react-insult
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/rude-people/
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