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How to Be a Confident Teenage Girl
This article was co-authored by Leslie Bosch, PhD
. Dr. Leslie Bosch is a Developmental Psychologist, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and Owner of Bosch Integrative Wellness. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in providing stress relief coaching services to individuals and groups using a variety of scientifically proven methods for change including motivational interviewing, positive psychology, self-compassion, non-violent communication, social learning theory, and self-determination theory. Dr. Bosch received training from the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona and earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from The University of Arizona. She is also a member of the National Board of Health and Wellness Coaching Association. Dr. Bosch has published many papers and been featured in the media numerous times.
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It’s totally normal to be a little unconfident when you’re a teenage girl, and you should rest assured knowing that every other woman on the planet has experienced what you’re feeling right now. If you want to give your confidence a boost, rest assured that there are plenty of ways you can change that. In this article, we’ll break down everything you need to know about improving the way you feel about yourself so that you can be the best version of yourself.
Steps
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As scary as it may be, each shot you take will you more confident. Taking a chance you normally wouldn’t take can make you stronger, which will make you more assured of yourself. However, understand that there are positive risks and negative risks. Do the things that lead you forward toward your goals and if you need advice ask parents. [1] X Research source
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Having some concrete objectives will help you focus on what you want. It’s hard to gain confidence in an area if you don’t know why you’re trying to improve. Identify what you want and then break that goal down into smaller steps. Take it one step at a time and think positive ! [2] X Research source
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If you look and act confident, you’ll feel so much stronger. Ever heard the phrase “fake it till you make it?” Even if you’re a bundle of nerves inside, just act like you’re the bee’s knees. Practice good posture at all times (sitting, standing, walking), especially when you're walking alone. Dress your best, make eye contact, and smile.
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Grooming and hygiene play a big role in how confident you feel. Wash your hair often enough for your hair type and bathe regularly. Don't get too obsessed with how you look. One of the important things about being confident is being comfortable with yourself and your body.
- If you feel the need to, carry simple things with you like a small hairbrush, lip gloss/chapstick, and a small bottle of body spray.
- Remember, make sure you always have pads/tampons in your bag at all times, and change pads regularly to prevent accidents.
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A tidy space goes a long way towards making you feel great. A clean room means that you can find what you need when you need it, so you aren't stressed out because you lost something. You will also feel better when your friends come over if you can show them a clean room. Nobody wants to see your underwear on the floor!
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Get some clothes that represent you for who you are. Buy what you like to wear and what makes you happy. Don't wear anything just because a certain crowd is. If you like the normal jeans and t-shirt look then, it's 2you. As long as you're comfortable, you'll become confident . Follow your own standards. [3] X Research source
- Be mindful of wearing clothes that are the wrong size, since they can be unflattering.
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Being unique will help you feel secure in who you are. If you like wearing jewelry, go for it! If you don't like wearing jewelry, that's your personal taste and no one should tell you otherwise. Your hairstyle, hair color, shoes, purse, and other accessories are other ways you can personalize your look. Like jewelry, these things are not for everyone and you shouldn't do it if you don't feel comfortable with it.
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Ignore what other people say or think about you. So long as you’re genuine and true to yourself, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Never be scared to do the right thing, and don’t let people bring you down with their criticisms or gossip. [4] X Research source
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If you feel good about your academics, you’ll be super confident. Study , do all your schoolwork, and do your very best every time. Study for tests , do homework and all assigned reading. Answer questions in class and ask questions relating to the topic. Don't be afraid if you still don't understand what you're learning, talk to your fellow classmates or talk to your teacher. You can't pass your classes if you don't ask questions.
- Being smart is not weird. People who think there’s something wrong with doing well in school are deeply mistaken.
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Find something that brings you joy and pour your energy into that. Develop your talents. If you're good at dancing, take up a class and polish your skills; if you're good at sports, take lessons and join a team. So long as you have something you care about, you’ll always have something to improve upon. This can do wonders for your confidence! [5] X Research source
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Join some clubs or try out for a team. Either you’ll improve your confidence by flexing your awesome social skills, or you’ll become more confident by getting over your shyness. Being a part of something can boost your confidence level, help you develop your social skills, and help you make some friends.
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Having a few things that help you relax and have fun is essential. If you love music, go ahead and don't be afraid to whip out your iPod or CD player (If the time is important of course) Read books or write poetry if you love it. Paint , draw , swim , or watch Anime if it's your personal thing. Everybody has different hobbies and there's nothing wrong with expressing it.
- Remember: It's all about what makes you happy, not doing it because someone else wants you to. Find things you're passionate about and don't be afraid to try something new.
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Let go of friends who do not respect you or like you for you. If you feel your friends have less respect for you, talk to them. Let them know how you feel, tell them how you expect to be treated, and offer solutions. If someone makes you feel bad or not good enough, they are not your friend and you should dump them immediately. [6] X Research source
- Make friends with the people you like, not the ones you think you should be friends with.
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Don’t let people mistreat or talk down to you. Understand that it is not healthy to let your peers or students walk all over you, this is a big problem if you're shy or the type of person who likes to please people. Don't be afraid to say "no" if the situation calls for it. An example situation would be if a friend asked you to help them cheat or copy off of your homework. [7] X Research source
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Stay nice to everyone you come across, and smile . Put your best foot forward when you’re meeting new people and introducing yourself. Embrace differences in others and celebrate diversity.
- Socialize with your parents and make conversation with adults, but remember to be polite.
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If you aren’t ready to date, don’t force it. Understand that it feels terrible to feel pressured into having a relationship or going and dating if you're not ready. As a teenager, you're growing up, but you also have to respect your boundaries and limits. When the time comes, you'll know and you'll be much happier that you waited until you were ready.
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Brush off people who push you to do drugs, get drunk, or have sex. These are some of the biggest problems as a teenager. Drugs are not a good thing in the first place and you shouldn't do it at all. It can do serious damage and ruin your good reputation. Don't go out and get drunk. First off as a teenager, you're underage. Second, getting drunk can be dangerous, you can do things you'll regret.
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Be yourself and don’t try to be something you’re not. Don't give into high school stereotypes like being a prep, emo, or punk rocker. Your style is what you make it. If someone calls you a poser, brush it off. Think positive! Don't feel pressured to look exactly like a model or celebrity. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if you think you're beautiful, then you are beautiful!
- Don’t let insults get to you. If someone calls you a mean name, shrug it off. However, if someone compliments you, take it in. Think about it. [8] X Research source
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Encourage and be kind to yourself. Practice looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, "I love you!" or, "Look at me...I look beautiful today."...you could grab a chair and sit in front of the mirror, and state all the good things about you, the things that make you a beautiful girl just the way you are. Don't compare yourself to a movie star.
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There’s nothing wrong with reaching out for support. Ask your parents, a teacher you trust, someone at a church, or a school guidance counselor for help. If you don't take care of yourself, and your emotional health, you could make bad decisions that you'll regret later. Tell someone if you're scared or upset and want help to make yourself feel better.
Expert Q&A
Video
Reader Videos
Tips
- Get busy. Try to challenge yourself all the time. Don't expect to be perfect or not make mistakes. Make your own decisions about school.Thanks
- Try making friends that make you feel good about yourself, instead of being around people that make you feel lonelier than you truly are.Thanks
- Make sure you're getting enough sleep. Most girls need at least 8 hours or more. Take a nap on the weekend if you are exhausted.Thanks
Warnings
- Avoid acting arrogant to hide your insecurities. Most people don't like it and can see through it.Thanks
- You have the right to end any hateful conversations. Just walk away.Thanks
- If you're having serious problems with a close friend, don't start a fight. Calm down and use your words. Talk it out and respect their feelings. Treat them with dignity. Tell them you expect them to be always honest with you.Thanks
- Do not overdo it if you’re not liked by some people. Keep a sense of humor about yourself.Thanks
- Being confident means not caving into peer pressure. You make up your mind about things.Thanks
- Say no if something doesn't feel right or dangerous. Stay away from self-destructive people who get into drugs, vandalism, or gangs.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201306/adolescence-and-self-confidence
- ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/self-confidence-tips-for-teens
- ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/281874
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2017/07/21/10-ways-to-build-confidence/#266a66513c59
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201306/adolescence-and-self-confidence
- ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/self-confidence-tips-for-teens
- ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/281874
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2017/07/21/10-ways-to-build-confidence/#266a66513c59
About This Article
To be a confident teenage girl, remember that as long as you're being yourself and doing the right thing, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you. Try your best to tune out any negativity, and instead focus on doing the things you love and developing your own unique sense of style. You should also set personal goals for yourself, like learning how to play a new instrument or acing your upcoming exam, since accomplishing goals will help you grow into a stronger, more confident person. Additionally, consider joining a few clubs so you can meet new people who have similar interests as you and practice your social skills. For more advice, like how to deal with friends who are bringing you down, keep reading!
Reader Success Stories
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Krissy Louw
Dec 3, 2019
"It made me see what I was doing wrong all this time, but now I know to just be myself and not care about what they say or think about me. I'm my own person, so I should just be myself and stop pretending; it held me back from for fulling my dreams." ..." more
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