Download Article
Download Article
When we talk to each other, we communicate with more than just the words we use. We watch each other’s body language, and we listen to people’s tone of voice. If you’re having a casual, happy conversation with someone, it’s important to speak in a friendly tone. To do this, adjust your speaking style and body language. You’ll soon sound as friendly as can be!
How to Have a Friendlier Voice
- Let your voice rise and fall naturally while you speak to avoid having a monotone voice.
- Speak slowly and assuredly to draw people in and avoid sounding like you’re just trying to get the conversation over with.
- Smile and use open, inviting body language while you talk with someone to help put them at ease.
Steps
-
Breathe from your diaphragm to control your voice. Making your tone of voice friendlier requires you to be aware of how fast you talk and how high and low your voice gets. Use strong breaths from your abdomen for better control. [1] X Research source
- To check if you’re breathing from your diaphragm (the muscle that sits right below your lungs), watch yourself in the mirror while you breathe in. If your shoulders and chest rise, you’re taking shallow breaths without using your diaphragm.
- Practice using your diaphragm by placing your hand on your abdomen and pushing it outward while you breathe in.
-
Vary your vocal pitch. Don’t speak in a monotone voice. Instead, make your voice both high and low as you talk. Stressing important words in your sentence with a higher pitch reassures listeners, while lower pitches can inject calmness into your conversation.
- End questions on a higher pitch and statements on a lower pitch. If you end statements with a high pitch, you’ll sound like you don’t believe what you just said.
- The best way to keep up a friendly tone is to have varied pitches while you talk. You don’t want to have a totally high-pitched conversation, as people might think you just inhaled a helium balloon. A completely low-pitched conversation, however, could make your listener think you’re uninterested in your chat with them.
Advertisement -
Speak slowly to keep people engaged. When you speak too quickly, you sound like you just want your conversation to be over and done. Instead, speak slowly to allow your listener to hear every word you say. This will tell them you actually want to be there talking to them. [2] X Research source
- You don’t need to take thirty seconds to get out every word. Be aware of your speed, and you’ll naturally slow down. Add some pauses to let your listener keep up with you.
-
Use a softer voice to avoid sounding aggressive. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re being yelled at by someone. Keep your voice at a level that allows people to hear you without shouting at them. [3] X Research source
- Breathing from your diaphragm will help with this problem. These controlled breaths let everyone hear you without making you work too hard to push out the sound. Any time you’re struggling to make yourself heard, you’re probably going to end up shouting, which won’t sound friendly.
-
Avoid mumbling to keep your listener from getting confused. If you’re not clearly articulating every syllable of each word, your listener might not understand you. Worse, they may think you’re saying something they can’t hear on purpose. This could make them confused and frustrated. [4] X Research source
- Practice good articulation by saying tongue twisters to yourself for five minutes each morning or night. For example, say these as fast as you can while still keeping the words clear: “James just jostled Jean gently. Jack the jailbird jacked a jeep,” “Kiss her quick, kiss her quicker, kiss her quickest,” and “The shrewd shrew sold Sarah seven silver fish slices.” [5] X Research source
-
Record yourself to practice your changes. Use your smartphone or a camera to take a voice recording or video of you while you speak. Pay close attention to the pitch, speed, and loudness of your voice. Make improvements after each new recording. [6] X Research source
Advertisement
-
Smile to appear and sound approachable. When you smile, your face opens up and stretches. This automatically makes your tone friendlier. Smiling will also make your conversation partner feel comfortable being around you. [7] X Research source
- Practice smiling while you talk by standing in front of your bathroom mirror and saying a few sentences with a big grin on your face.
-
Keep your body open and posture straight to be inviting. Uncross your arms and straighten your shoulders and back. Don’t slouch in the middle of a conversation. Instead, use your body language to look welcoming and positive. [8] X Research source
- If you feel like your arms are flopping awkwardly next to your sides while you’re chatting, lace your fingers together in front of your body. This is still more inviting than crossing your arms over your chest.
-
Listen attentively to show empathy. When you have a conversation with someone, it’s important to show interest in what the other person has to say. Nod and keep your eyes on their face while they’re speaking to you. By showing you care, you’ll keep up the friendly tone of the conversation even when you’re not the one doing the talking. [9] X Research source
- Ask follow-up questions based on what they’ve said to keep your friendly chat going. For example, if they tell you they have a cat named Chloe, you could say, “I love animals! How old is Chloe?” [10] X Research source
-
Keep the conversation balanced so you’re both chatting. Maintain a back-and-forth with your conversation partner. Don’t tell a story that takes an hour to get through. Instead, use the conversation to learn about each other or get updates on how both of you are doing.
-
Offer genuine compliments to be kind. Be friendly in what you say in addition to how you say it. Share a nice thought about the other person. Avoid making things up just to be nice, however, as it’ll sound fake.
- Avoid gossiping and don’t complain too much. These habits will quickly turn a friendly, positive conversation into a negative whining session.
- Be careful with your pitch when you compliment people. If you go high on the wrong words, you’ll end up sounding sarcastic. For example, saying “I love those earrings!” with a really high-pitched “love” might make your listener think you’re making fun of their jewelry.
Advertisement
Expert Q&A
Search
-
QuestionHow can I improve my voice tone?Amy Chapman MA, CCC-SLP is a Vocal Therapist and Singing Voice Specialist. Amy is a licensed and board-certified speech & language pathologist who has dedicated her career to helping professionals improve and optimize their voice. Amy has lectured on voice optimization, speech, vocal health, and voice rehabilitation at universities across California, including UCLA, USC, Chapman University, Cal Poly Pomona, CSUF, CSULA. Amy is trained in Lee Silverman Voice Therapy, Estill, LMRVT, and is a part of the American Speech and Hearing Association.Focus on strengthening your body and your support system, first and foremost, and then strengthening your vocal cords to be able to hold a tone and have a constant airflow as well as a constant support system to keep them vibrating smoothly.
-
QuestionHow can I improve my speaking tone?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerYou can try doing this through improving your speech habits, speaking clearly, having a positive mindset and constantly focusing on improving vocal intonation. You can find help with this here: How to Develop a Perfect Speaking Voice .
-
QuestionWhat is a friendly tone?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerA friendly tone of voice is one that attracts people, making them feel comfortable around the speaker and creating a desire to engage with the speaker. It is a tone that carries no sense of aggression, tension, strain or anxiety; rather, it is open, warm and caring, giving others a clear impression that the speaker is comfortable talking with other people.
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement
Tips
- Think positively while you’re having a conversation. It’s never a good idea to say one thing while you think another. Negative thoughts could end up reflected in your tone of voice.Thanks
Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
Advertisement
References
- ↑ https://spinditty.com/learning/6-Reasons-Why-You-Hate-Your-Voice
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2015/apr/16/is-your-voice-trustworthy-engaging-or-soothing-to-strangers
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2015/apr/16/is-your-voice-trustworthy-engaging-or-soothing-to-strangers
- ↑ http://www.positivityblog.com/do-you-make-these-10-mistakes-in-a-conversation/
- ↑ http://www.write-out-loud.com/dictionexercises.html
- ↑ https://spinditty.com/learning/6-Reasons-Why-You-Hate-Your-Voice
- ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3048748/10-secrets-to-sounding-confident
- ↑ http://www.positivityblog.com/18-ways-to-improve-your-body-language
- ↑ https://www.zendesk.com/blog/right-tone-of-voice/
About This Article
Article Summary
X
To develop a friendly tone of voice, vary your vocal pitch so you stress important words and ask questions with a high pitch. Alternatively, if you want to project calm or conclude statements, use a low pitch and a softer voice. While the pitch and volume of your words are vital to sounding friendly, work on looking the part by smiling and keeping your body open and your posture straight and inviting. For tips on how to listen attentively and empathetically, keep reading!
Did this summary help you?
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 740,996 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "I have a harsh tone of voice, but I stay under stress and can't relax. This has helped to try a different approach and to make my voice friendly. That is what I'm working toward so my husband will quit bashing me about my tone." ..." more
Advertisement
88%
of readers found this article helpful
.
Click a star to add your vote
% of people told us that this article helped them.
"I have a harsh tone of voice, but I stay under stress and can't relax. This has helped to try a different approach and to make my voice friendly. That is what I'm working toward so my husband will quit bashing me about my tone."
..."
more
"This article explained everything I needed to know, including the things I didn't know I needed to fix. I already feel confident that my voice will get into shape after I put to practice all I learned here. Thank you, wikiHow!"
..."
more
"I was mostly ignored while trying to have conversations but after reading this article, it various tips and steps, I now make happy fluent conversations. All thanks to wikiHow."
..."
more
"Focusing on my stomach and diaphragm when speaking, and remembering to breath and pause appropriately. Finally, practice and be prepared to make mistakes. Thanks!"
..."
more
"This is useful speech training for someone like me with schizophrenia and a modified lip. I will articulate better."
