How to Find out if Your Crush Likes Someone Else

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It’s never easy to find out that the person you’re crushing on likes somebody else. However, if you suspect that the person you like has eyes for another, you’re better off figuring it out sooner rather than later so you don’t end up with a broken heart. If you want to find out where your crush’s heart really lies, pay close attention to what they say and do to see if the signs are there.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Noticing Changes in Your Interactions

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  1. If you and your crush talk often or hang out in or outside of school, pay attention to changes in their attitude. If they used to be friendly and playful but suddenly start acting distant and moody, it’s possible that they are having conflicting feelings. [1]
    • If this is happening, try to not get super clingy. Give your crush a little bit of space so they can figure out how they feel. It could be a good time for you to evaluate your feelings, too.
  2. Look out for signs like your crush no longer saying “hi” to you in the hallway or waiting to walk to class with you. If you had normal interactions with your crush on a daily basis and they start to diminish, your crush might have changing feelings. [2]
    • Being ignored outright is a clear sign that your crush doesn’t feel the same way anymore. Especially if this change correlates to them starting to treat someone else more affectionately.
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  3. If you and your crush are friends and hang out regularly, pick up on times when they bail on plans or ditch you. This is a pretty good sign that there might be something or someone else they are hoping to spend time with. [3]
    • Similarly, if your crush suddenly becomes hard to pin down or avoids making plans with you, it could be a sign of a similar situation.
  4. If you’re used to quick responses and frequent messages with your crush and that suddenly slows down or stops, there is probably a reason for it. It’s possible that something else is going on, but if this change is consistent for several weeks it might be because they are busy messaging someone else. [4]
    • You could also ask them directly if everything is okay. Maybe they’re having a hard time or are overwhelmed with school or work. If you’re close friends, it could be worth bringing it up.
  5. If your crush is continually talking about a new person, it could be because they are attracted to or interested in them. [5] If the same name keeps creeping up every time you interact, pay attention—this could be the sign you’re looking for. [6]
    • It’s totally possible your crush doesn’t even realize they’re doing this. Think about how many times you’ve probably mentioned your crush to your friends in passing before you realized you were talking about them so much.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Investigating and Asking Questions

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  1. Don’t get too obsessive, but taking a glance at their social media pages can tell you a lot about who they’re talking to and where they’re going. You might be able to see who they’ve become friends with recently or if they’re liking a lot of posts from a particular person. [7]
    • To avoid torturing yourself, try putting a limit on how often you’ll look at their social media, like once a day instead of once every hour.
  2. While rumors aren’t always true or good sources of information, sometimes they are. Take each rumor with a grain of salt, but if the source is a trustworthy person, it might be worthwhile to listen. [8]
    • For example, if you hear from three different people that your crush was holding hands with someone at the movies, that’s a clear sign that they are into someone else.
  3. Your friends may be able to see your situation with your crush more clearly than you can. Ask them for their opinions and to keep their eyes open when they’re around your crush so they can clue you in to what’s going on. [9]
    • You might get news you don’t want from one of your friends. If this happens, don’t get mad at your friend. It’s okay to be upset, but remember that your friend didn’t do anything to you.
  4. This works best if you know your crush’s friends and can have a conversation with them without it seeming too weird. Keep in mind that this person may tell your crush that you were asking about them, but it could also give you some important insider information. [10]
    • For example, try saying something like this to your crush’s friend: “Hey Ryan, I noticed that Jade has been spending a lot of time with Ben. Is there something going on there?”
  5. directly if they like someone. This can be a little risky, but if you feel that your crush has their eyes on someone else, it might be worth it to find out for sure so you can move on with your own life. Try to phrase the question in a non-confrontational way and make it seem like you’re just generally curious about it. [11]
    • For example, you could say something like, “Hey Max, I was wondering if you were interested in Kylie. I noticed you guys have been spending a lot of time together.” If they ask why you want to know, say, “Oh, I was just curious.”

    Warning: If you don’t know or talk to your crush often, it’s probably best to avoid asking them this question. Prying into their personal life when you don’t have a friendship could make them uncomfortable.

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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Watching for Changes in General Behavior

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  1. One of the key ways to find out who your crush is, well, crushing on, is to figure out who they’re paying attention to. If you’re in class, at an event, or out with friends, take a peek to see who your crush is watching. If they’re consistently gazing at a specific individual, that could be a sign that they’re developing a crush of their own. [12]
  2. When you have a crush, you’re often drawn to them and end up in the same space so you can be close to them. Watch your crush—are they moving desks to sit by someone else during class or switching tables at lunchtime? Do they go out of their way to talk to a specific person? [13]
    • Maybe this person is just a friend, but it also could be someone your crush is romantically interested in.
  3. When you see your crush interacting with the same person often, pay attention to how they act—are they nervous, do they get a little hyper, do they blush or fumble their words? These are all signs that your crush may be experiencing some romantic feelings of their own. [14]
    • Think about the ways you know when someone has a crush on you or how you feel you’re acting when you see or talk to your crush. You can often apply those same principles to your crush to figure out how they’re feeling.
  4. Of course, there are lots of reasons why someone might be on their phone a lot. But if your crush is texting all the time and is constantly checking their phone for notifications, that’s a clear sign that they’re distracted by something or someone. [15]
    • On the same page, listen to how your crush reacts when their friends ask them what they’re doing or who they’re talking to. If they get defensive or start acting embarrassed, chances are that they’re developing feelings for someone else.
  5. When someone likes someone else, it’s really common for them to start dressing or acting in a way they think that person will like. For example, if you notice that your crush has suddenly started wearing band T-shirts and dyeing their hair and that lines up with them starting to spend time with an avid concert-goer, that might indicate that they’re interested in that person. [16]
    • Keep in mind that people do experiment with their look all the time—so this might not be a sure-fire sign that they have a crush on someone else. But, if it pairs up with some other signals, it could be true.
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Moving on from Your Crush

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  1. If you find out your crush does like someone else, don’t beat yourself up! Steer clear of harsh self-talk and instead focus on the great things about you that you love. Just because this person doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of being liked—it just isn’t working out in this particular situation. [17] [18]

    Try This Out: If you can’t stop criticizing yourself, try making a list of 5 things you like about yourself. From your sense of humor to your personal style or a generous spirit, there are lots of great things about you to take note of.

  2. To keep yourself from being bitter, avoid villainizing the person your crush chose to be with. Instead, work on accepting that your crush is their own person who can make their own choices. It might hurt that they didn’t choose you, but it’ll be okay in the end. [19]
    • Try to keep in mind that you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, too.
  3. Give yourself time and space to get over your crush . Most likely, your feelings won’t go away overnight. Even if you were friends with this person before, it might healthiest for you to put a little space between you. Seeing them constantly won’t help you get over your crush and move forward with your life. [20]
    • Take some time to readjust your expectations for this person. If you were friends before, you might want to think about their role in your life. Maybe you can still be friends but just not be as close as you used to be.
  4. Try your best to get out of your head and focus on living your life while you’re trying to get over your crush. It can be really hard and you may feel like hibernating for a few weeks while you nurse your heartache, but take this time to invest in your friendships , practice some self-care , and enjoy your hobbies . [21]
    • It’s also totally okay to be sad and feel your feelings. Just try to not dwell in that sadness for too long.
  5. Sometimes simply verbalizing what you’ve been feeling can be really healing and make those feelings less intense. Ask a trusted friend if you can talk to them about something, and then just let it all out. Even if they already knew about your crush, it can be helpful to verbally work through your sadness about it not working out. [22]
    • Try to avoid complaining for weeks on end about your situation, though. That can be really trying for a friend and annoy them.
  6. Instead of pining over your crush for weeks or months, give yourself permission to be attracted to other people. Or, if you feel like you want a break from romance for a while, become comfortable with focusing on yourself and steer clear of crushes for a while. [23]
    • Remember that there are other things in your life, like your friends, family, and hobbies, that can help make you feel fulfilled. If you want to focus on other things right now, that is perfectly fine!
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can you win over a girl's heart?
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    I believe that simply acting traditionally chivalrous is how modern men stand out! A lot of women do want a guy who does these chivalrous things like calls instead of texts, opening doors for them, etc.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 6 Helpful 14
  • Question
    How can you tell if you're a rebound?
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    If you believe your crush still likes their ex or likes someone else, and that you're a rebound, know that there are some signs you can look for. For example, if they mention their ex a lot, comparing the way you treat them or the way you both interact, that's a red flag for sure.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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    Not Helpful 3 Helpful 4
  • Question
    My crush looks at me most of the time, but he said he doesn't like me; he likes this other girl. But I've never seen him stare at her - what does this all mean?
    Community Answer
    Eye contact alone isn't a reliable indicator of a crush. Looking at someone is considered normal for most people; most people look at whoever they're interacting with, and some people will automatically gravitate toward looking at people they're familiar with, particularly if they're shy. There are many other behaviors that come with crushes that don't involve eye contact, such as blushing, flirting, shyness, trying to get their attention, "preening" around them, constantly talking about them, or seeking them out a lot, among other behaviors. If possible, try looking at his behavior around the girl he says he likes; if he does have a crush on her, then you'll likely notice that he's acting differently around her than he does with you.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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    Not Helpful 11 Helpful 98
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      Tips

      • Avoid getting angry at your crush or saying mean things about them if they like someone else. You’ll regret those words once you’ve moved on from them.
        Thanks
        Helpful 10 Not Helpful 1
      • Don't try to avoid your crush even if he/she doesn't like you, they still probably would like to hang out with you!
        Thanks
        Helpful 13 Not Helpful 2

      Don't act sour to the person he/she likes even if it's your best friend they can't help it, so don't ever think of your bff as a back stabber.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/signs-he-doesnt-like-you-anymore/
      2. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/signs-he-doesnt-like-you-anymore/
      3. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a31452/reasons-he-canceled-on-you/
      4. ↑ https://youtu.be/fBflq59yeq8?t=73
      5. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
      6. ↑ https://youtu.be/fBflq59yeq8?t=371
      7. ↑ https://youtu.be/fBflq59yeq8?t=194
      8. ↑ https://youtu.be/fBflq59yeq8?t=151
      9. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/signs-he-doesnt-like-you-anymore/
      1. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/signs-he-doesnt-like-you-anymore/
      2. ↑ https://www.girlslife.com/crushes/advice/32635/how-to-deal-when-your-crush-likes-someone-else
      3. ↑ https://youtu.be/fBflq59yeq8?t=39
      4. ↑ https://youtu.be/1gIR9K040Rc?t=17
      5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBflq59yeq8
      6. ↑ https://youtu.be/fBflq59yeq8?t=296
      7. ↑ https://youtu.be/fBflq59yeq8?t=113
      8. ↑ https://youtu.be/KG7zL1y-LHk?t=30
      9. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
      10. ↑ https://youtu.be/KG7zL1y-LHk?t=124
      11. ↑ https://youtu.be/KG7zL1y-LHk?t=154
      12. ↑ https://www.girlslife.com/crushes/advice/32635/how-to-deal-when-your-crush-likes-someone-else
      13. ↑ https://youtu.be/Wwna1NeF-Hc?t=83
      14. ↑ https://youtu.be/Wwna1NeF-Hc?t=258

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To find out if your crush likes someone else, see if they always stare at someone in particular or often sit next to the same person to talk. Also, pay attention to how much time your crush spends on their phone, since people who are distracted by someone may check their phone more. If your crush likes someone else, they'll probably just want to hang out with them, so they may act moody when you spend time together. However, if you want to know for sure that your crush likes someone else, ask them directly. You could say something like, "I noticed that you've been spending a lot of time with Kylie. Do you like her?" If they ask why you want to know, say, "Oh, I was just curious." For more advice, including how to move on from your crush who likes someone else, read on.

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