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Moving to a new school can be intimidating. In fact, it may feel as your whole world as you once knew it is crashing down. You may wish your friend was with you, or that the school was in your old neighborhood. However, it is possible to fit in at a new school. Follow these easy steps and you'll find yourself fitting in no time!
Steps
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Take a day to appreciate your environment. You won't fit in at school if you don't know the school well yet. Ask where places are or ask for a school map.
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Be friendly to everyone. Be nice to adults, teenagers and kids alike, because they might just be your next teacher or friend.Advertisement
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Get to know your teachers. Talk to them and find out more about them. See how strict or lenient they are, and test their limits. Just don't go too far, or you may end up getting in trouble (adding to your reputation, but you still get in trouble).
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Make new friends. Try not to be shy, and be confident. Talk to different groups of people, but don't ignore a certain group. [1] X Expert Source Katie Styzek
School Counselor Expert Interview. 28 October 2020. Be yourself and don't lie. This is your school now, so take a chance on letting your true personality shine through if you didn’t already at your old school. -
Pay attention in class. Teachers always pay attention to new students.
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Be yourself. If your first day in the school is the first day of the new year, then some people will notice you, especially if it is a small school. When people talk to you, don't be nervous, but don't be too loud. Be confident and make eye contact. However, sometimes you may need to make yourself loud so that you will get noticed, and but try not to constantly attract attention to yourself.
- Don't worry too much about what people think of you; you'll over-analyze the situation and they might judge you for that.
- Be genuine and be nice to everyone, no matter how mean they may appear at first. It's usually always the 'girl/guy that you hated at your new school' that ends up being your friend after a little sincerity.
- Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, if it's very clear that you should.
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Avoid worrying about getting to know the school too much. Know where your locker is and have a map in case of emergencies, but whenever possible, ask the person sitting near you or a teacher in the hallway where something is.
- Asking for directions to a class, for example, is a good way to talk to people and meet a lot of people on your first day. You're the new kid now. Mention that to people whenever you need some help.
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Refrain from being flirty. When you talk to those of the opposite gender, don't flirt too much before finding out if they're already with someone. Once one person hates you, their entire group will hate you too. Remember these people grew up together, so it's their obligation to defend their lifelong friends.. Being flirty is more acceptable in a college environment since there are always new students to meet that are just like you.
- Be nice, and optimistic, even if there happens to be an annoyance. They might even let you be the annoyance to another new kid someday, it usually takes a year and a half, but they'll come around. Always remember to make a good first impression but it's also important to be yourself.
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Prepare for your first lunch. Talk to students in the class right before lunch. Usually, they will ask you if you're sitting with anyone, but if not, steer the topic towards school lunch (as in is the food good etc.) If no one specifically mentions eating together, but you're walking to the cafeteria together, then it's implied that you'll eat lunch together.
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Be nice to everyone. It is important to talk to everyone, even if they seem weird, when you are a new student. They could always know people you'd rather be friends with or introduce you to more people. Try to meet new people. However, if they are hated by everyone, then it is advised not to become best friends with them unless you really want to, don't get too into people, hang out with everyone, and make sure you know a group or person well enough before deeming them your friend.
- It can be the most tricky, manipulative people that talk to you at first, and it's usually those who just talk to you later on, at the back of the classroom who are there for you later on.
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Pay attention in class and try hard in school. If someone passes a note or whispers something to you, ignore them so you can pay attention to the teacher.
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Join a few clubs or sports and make more friends in this way. [2] X Expert Source Katie Styzek
School Counselor Expert Interview. 28 October 2020. Make sure you are committed to that sport or club. -
Ask for a phone number. After you've talked to someone a few times, ask for their contact information. Even better, ask them to do something over the weekend.
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Please the other kids. While you don't want to be a complete kiss-up, kids like the people who will cooperate with them. If they ask you a favor, do it. Don't be too gullible, - people will sometimes even push your buttons to test what your 'limits' are, - like testing the waters. Just make sure you confidently (maybe even with a big smile on your face)... reply 'reasonably'. Like if they call you a "jerk" , - ask them why they called you a jerk.
- If they accuse you of something you didn't do, reply by saying you've never done whatever it is they are accusing you of, and then ask them who had said that.
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Be consistently level-headed inside and out, and don't over-think people or situation. Never forget that while you might be trying to fit in, you should never try to be anybody but yourself. The first couple of weeks are always confusing.
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Join the Discussion...
I am a seventeen-year-old homeschooler and until this September I have not been in any environments with public-schoolers. I recently got a job at my local pool as a swim instructor/lifeguard and have been spending time with my new coworkers who seem very different from me. Most of them are my peers and I desperately want to fit in with them, but don't know where to start. I don't understand most of what my coworkers talk about, I only use a minimal amount of slang, I've never dated anyone, I don't swear, and altogether I feel weird, awkward, insecure, and irrelevant. If you are a public-schooled teen, please help me know how to become more attractive and relatable to my coworkers while still being myself.
Look, fitting in isn’t about forcing it or trying to be someone you’re not. If their slang feels unfamiliar, don’t stress—over time, you’ll pick up on it naturally. You don’t have to talk exactly like them to get along; just listen, laugh when it makes sense, and if you don’t understand something, ask. People love explaining their inside jokes.
The key is finding common ground. If they talk a lot about something you’re not familiar with, check it out online or just ask them about it. And if you want to get closer, suggest simple plans outside of work—like grabbing food or hanging out sometime.
Most importantly, it’s all about attitude. If you’re relaxed and open, people will pick up on that and feel comfortable around you. Give it time, be yourself, and you’ll naturally start to connect with them
The key is finding common ground. If they talk a lot about something you’re not familiar with, check it out online or just ask them about it. And if you want to get closer, suggest simple plans outside of work—like grabbing food or hanging out sometime.
Most importantly, it’s all about attitude. If you’re relaxed and open, people will pick up on that and feel comfortable around you. Give it time, be yourself, and you’ll naturally start to connect with them
Community Q&A
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QuestionI'm changing schools to an Italian school, and I don't even know Italian. How will I make friends? Or understand what is being taught in lessons? I'm not that young, so it'll be hard to learn Italian.Emily Berger1Community AnswerBeing surrounded by people speaking Italian will teach you the language faster than you'd expect, and you'll soon find yourself understanding phrases being said. To help your Italian language skills, consider reading a book (or listening to an audiotape) about learning Italian.
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QuestionI just moved into a new school with my friend. I've just figured out thay almost everyone else has their own groups of friends, making friend making hard since everyone minds their business. Any tips?Emily Berger1Community AnswerBe friendly to everyone you talk to, and try to strike up conversations with different people to find out more about them. You'll find something in common with someone and start hanging out with a group of friends who have interests similar to yours, just be patient!
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QuestionWhat if I'll be considered the poor kid at my school, where mostly rich kids go?Emily Berger1Community AnswerThere are plenty of other things you'll have in common with many of the kids at your school, such as your favorite sports or activities. It's also likely that there will be other kids at the school who also don't have tons of money, and you can become friends with them too.
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Tips
- If you move during the school year, you will get more attention for longer periods of time. But, be aware that everyone will be talking about you (not necessarily in a bad way) because you're the only thing interesting going on.Thanks
- People will ask you many questions. Answer them, but don't ramble. In turn, ask questions about the school and the students. If someone is talking about someone you don't know, ask questions to clarify basic points, but listen to what they say, also it might be harder to make friends because everyone may already be paired up.Thanks
- If you are new, before you make friends, try to get on your homeroom teacher's "good side".Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Avoid getting labeled a "troublemaker" by following key rules. Teachers watch new students closely. Minor mistakes that happen early can create poor lasting impressions.
- Consider joining clubs or teams to expand your social circle. Shared activities facilitate friendship organically through regular interactions around common interests.
- Focus more on quality friendships than quantity. Stay true to yourself and in time you'll connect well with a few kindred spirits. That counts far more than groups.
- On day one, take deep breaths if nervous and act as though classmates are already friends. Anxiety is normal but most people are welcoming to new students.
- If friends exclude you, don't take it personally or overreact. Trust and acceptance can take time. Politely engage when included; otherwise, be patient.
- Believe in yourself at a new school. It's a fresh chance to be who you want, make real bonds over shared interests, and maybe find an academic ally.
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Warnings
- If you had a bad reputation at your old school, don't talk about your rep. Just pretend it never happened and make sure not to make the same mistakes at your new school.Thanks
- Don't be negative. People don't like a Debbie-Downer. A way to avoid this is to think positively about every situation.Thanks
- Try to avoid drama if you can.Thanks
- Don't be obnoxious. It's good to jump in and let people know you're there, but allow them to get a word in too.Thanks
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Article Summary
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If you've already tried joining activities and clubs, but still don't feel like you're fitting in at your new school, try talking to a group of kids in the class before lunch. Bring up lunch in casual conversation to prompt them to invite you to sit with them! If it doesn't work, try again with a new group of kids the following day. For more advice on how to fit in at a new school, like how to get noticed on your first day, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "This article really helped me! My family is moving this summer, and I'm going to a new school next year for 8th grade. I do have a distinct style, so I'll try to tone it down some. No fedoras on the first day, haha! Thank you, wikiHow!" ..." more
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"This article really helped me! My family is moving this summer, and I'm going to a new school next year for 8th grade. I do have a distinct style, so I'll try to tone it down some. No fedoras on the first day, haha! Thank you, wikiHow!"
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"This was very helpful! I never had any chance to make a good impression because I was never noticed enough. After reading this, I was able to make a lot of friends, get good grades and have a good reputation. Thanks, wikiHow!"
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"I'm so happy! I wrote my own mini handbook with the most important stuff in it! This is gonna help me on the first day at my new school, even though I'm joining in the middle of the school year."
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"I love how distinct you are in how to dress going to a new school. It's very clear and appropriate, and has a great way of expressing the type of clothing a new student should wear."
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"I think the tips on how to fit in and make new friends were very good. I love the set out of this page and the pictures, it is by far the best I have seen."
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