What do you do when you feel lonely?
I've been feeling lonely a lot lately. Sometimes I'll just be sitting at my desk on my laptop and out of nowhere I'll get hit with a sudden wave of loneliness. When it comes it completely overwhelms me and I can't bring myself to do anything except stare into the abyss. What do I do when I feel lonely all of a sudden?
If you're feeling lonely, you can get your feel-good chemicals from spending time with friends, engaging with your community, and practicing self-care. Get your endorphins going by exercising (for example, this is a great time to try out a new dance class you've been considering). Your loneliness will convince you that you don't want to do this - if you let your body have its way, it will tell you to isolate yourself and indulge in ice cream. Don't listen to it! Seek out people and activities that bring you joy.
If you're feeling lonely, try developing a new routine that involves some type of mind, body, and spirit healing. Stick with this routine even if you don't feel like it. Listen or watch a positive message on hope, self-love, and healing for at least 20 minutes every day. Exercise and move your body with walking, yoga, Pilates, etc., for at least 30 minutes every day to release endorphins. Recognize your negative thoughts and replace them with mindfulness, which allows you to think about the now. Think about good things every day. Journal about sadness, worry, and fears every morning or evening as needed. Socialize with people who you like and who love you.
Setting up some regular weekly social time for myself helped with my loneliness. I started going to a weekly ultimate frisbee group and had a ton of fun playing with people and making new friends. After showing up for a few weeks consistently, I started hanging out with people outside of ultimate frisbee and felt like I was actually building a social circle. I think having some outdoor time built into my schedule also helped with boosting my mood and making me feel less lonely.
I moved recently and have been feeling lonely since I don't know anyone in the area. I thought about joining a recreational sports league or meetup group but it's not really my thing...has anyone had any success with that or have any other recs for making friends after a big move?
When you're moving to a new area and feeling lonely, a lot of things are unpredictable and uncertain. It's a big change coming from an area that you knew very well with people you care about, so I would really think about how to help yourself find some certainty in your daily life. Think about who you're going to connect with when you're in a new area, like somebody that you're speaking to from home, and have some time set aside for that.
I would also come up with some plans to meet and connect with people. Look into groups in the area, like you might find through Meetup or something like that. I found a lot of clients that reported being able to connect with people through Meetup when they moved to a new spot. I would also recommend having a really good self care plan. So outside of actually being connected to people, have some things in your daily life that will help you with that loneliness.
You also want to keep up with the habits that were helping you before you moved. Keep up with things like exercise, and try practicing meditation, which helps you be present. Anxiety and loneliness can typically lead to a lot of thoughts that take you away from being present. So having a practice to help you develop more mindfulness can be helpful as well. Remind yourself that things are temporary and that you're going to be able to move forward, meet people, and connect. Paying attention to the negative thoughts that pull you down and challenging them is another strategy to help you with loneliness.
I would also come up with some plans to meet and connect with people. Look into groups in the area, like you might find through Meetup or something like that. I found a lot of clients that reported being able to connect with people through Meetup when they moved to a new spot. I would also recommend having a really good self care plan. So outside of actually being connected to people, have some things in your daily life that will help you with that loneliness.
You also want to keep up with the habits that were helping you before you moved. Keep up with things like exercise, and try practicing meditation, which helps you be present. Anxiety and loneliness can typically lead to a lot of thoughts that take you away from being present. So having a practice to help you develop more mindfulness can be helpful as well. Remind yourself that things are temporary and that you're going to be able to move forward, meet people, and connect. Paying attention to the negative thoughts that pull you down and challenging them is another strategy to help you with loneliness.
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Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Cope With Feeling Alone at Night
If you live in a safe area and you're old enough to be out at night alone, go for a walk! It can be very peaceful and relaxing to feel the world at sleep around you. You won't feel so alone if you can get your body moving and cultivate a meditative headspace while you walk.
If you're struggling to sleep, turn on the radio, listen to a podcast, or throw on a white noise machine. If you give your brain something to focus on, you won't obsess over whatever complex feelings you're uncomfortable with.
Reader Tips from How to Stop Feeling Empty
Do you have a hobby? If so, try just throwing all of your energy at that. It's healthy to pursue things you care about, and you won't feel empty if you have something to look forward to whenever you're feeling down.
Work on developing self-confidence. Sadness and emptiness will disappear when you start to believe in your potential and realize that you have personal value!
Try your best to be positive, but know that it is impossible to be happy at all times. If you cannot cope, see a doctor or therapist for help.
Spend time with the people you love and care about. Connecting with others will make you feel much better!
Try to surround yourself with positive, caring people, rather than people with a negative mindset.
Reader Tips from How to Enjoy Being Alone
Alone time is great time for doing things you love that aren’t appropriate in your usual social circle. So blast the cheesy pop, run around the house naked and laugh at some bad movies you like. Use this time to embrace yourself.
Think about the ways you’d like to improve, whether that be physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, and work on those things. You may end up attracting more people as you better yourself!