How to Cope with Loneliness & Feel Better

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Medically verified strategies to manage, understand, and overcome loneliness
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In a world so big, it can be easy to feel alone. Loneliness can happen to anyone at any time, but even so, blue feelings are never fun. Thankfully, there are ways to cope and deal with loneliness, and they’re probably simpler than you may think. We’ve rounded up the best ways to help you start feeling like yourself again (plus explanations for why you may be lonely). Now, everyone is different, so all of these tricks may not work for you, but it doesn’t hurt to give them a try to see what does!

Things You Should Know

  • Joining clubs, volunteering, and chatting with people online helps you put yourself out there and make friends—helping you say “bye-bye” to loneliness.
  • Keep yourself busy with things you love and practice self-care to learn to love solitude.
  • Check in with a therapist if you’re feeling hopeless, unmotivated, and lonely, as these could be signs of depression.
Section 1 of 3:

Coping with Loneliness

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  1. One of the best things you can do for yourself when you feel lonely is to put yourself out there. Join a sports league, take a cooking or exercise class, or volunteer at the local food bank. You’ll be socializing and having fun—it’s the best of both worlds! [1]
    • Sign up for activities that interest you to find people with similar passions or hobbies.
    • Show an interest in what you’re doing and the people around you—don’t be afraid to approach someone first! [2]
  2. Sometimes, all you need is a comforting shoulder to lean on. Talk to a trusted loved one about how you’ve been feeling, or send them a simple “Hey” to get a conversation started . [3]
    • Talking about your feelings may seem daunting, but it can help you realize that you’re not alone.
    • Try saying something like, “Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely. Have you ever felt this way?” or, “Hey! Want to grab some ice cream? It sure would cheer me up.”
    • If you don’t have someone to talk to, try Contact a Samaritan ’s services for anonymous support. [4]
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  3. Sometimes, connecting with people online can be easier than making friends IRL. [5] If you’re a little shy or don’t live in a bustling community, try reaching out to people on social media. There are tons of forums and chat rooms out there to choose from! Follow your interests, and you may make some lasting connections.
    • Try joining Facebook groups about your favorite TV show, craft, or books.
    • Scroll through hashtags of your interests on Instagram and Twitter to join conversations.
    • Play a multiplayer game that lets you chat with others, like Minecraft or Fortnite .
    • Avoid spending too much time on social media , as online communities can quickly turn toxic if they’re all you absorb.
    • Always be cautious when talking to strangers online. If something doesn’t feel right about their profile, try chatting with someone else.
  4. Practicing self-care is especially important when you’re feeling blue. Help yourself feel better and deal with loneliness by eating nutritious foods, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
    • Eat foods that satisfy you emotionally and physically.
    • Aim to move your body for at least 30 minutes a day. Do something you enjoy, like walking, hiking, swimming, or dancing. [6]
    • Try to get at least 7 hours of sleep and follow a regular sleep schedule. [7]
    • Consider adding meditation to your routine to help clear your mind. [8]
    • Taking care of your mind and body doesn’t have to be tedious, so treat yourself every once in a while! Get a massage or buy that cupcake.
  5. Combat those blue and lonely feelings with new and exciting things. [9] Do activities you love or start up a new hobby to have something to look forward to each day, such as:
  6. Writing is a great way to let out your emotions and understand why you’re lonely. [10] Try devoting at least 20 minutes a day to writing in your journal . Your entries don’t have to be long or about anything in particular—just jot down whatever comes to mind! Here are some prompts to get you started:
    • “I feel lonely when….”
    • “I feel lonely because….”
    • “Today, I….”
  7. Pets are amazing companions, help you stick to a daily routine, and ease symptoms of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. If you’re feeling down after moving or losing a loved one, consider getting a dog, cat, hamster, or goldfish to help the loneliness fade away. [11]
    • Becoming a pet owner is a big responsibility, and it may not be the best fit for everyone, and that’s okay.
    • If you’re feeling lonely because you’ve lost a pet, don’t feel like you have to get another pet right away. Move on and grieve at your own pace.
    • Need more tips for what to do about feeling lonely? See what wikiHow users are saying on our What do you do when you feel lonely? forum .
    • Need more tips for what to do about feeling lonely? See what wikiHow users are saying on our What do you do when you feel lonely? forum .
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Section 2 of 3:

Why do you feel lonely?

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  1. Feeling lonely often comes from low moods and overall sadness or nerves. When you’re down, it can be easy to feel like you’re alone. Unfortunately, loneliness and depression go hand-in-hand, but this also means you’re not the only one feeling this way. [12] Ask yourself these questions. If you answer “yes” to more than one, you may be struggling with depression: [13]
    • Do you have little interest in doing things?
    • Have you felt hopeless over the last 2 weeks?
    • Do you have trouble staying asleep or sleeping too much?
    • Are you often tired or have no energy?
    • Do you have a poor appetite or overeat?
    • Have you recently thought of yourself as a failure?
    • Do you have trouble concentrating?
    • Do you have thoughts that you’d be better off dead?
  2. More often than not, we feel lonely because we’re experiencing something new or different. Maybe you’ve moved to a new place, retired, graduated, lost a loved one, or been diagnosed with an illness or disability. All of these things can change life as you know it, which can be scary. [14]
    • To deal with your loneliness, you must first cope with change .
    • Know that you’re not alone in this. Life is full of changes, but the beautiful thing is we, as humans, adapt and grow, and you can become stronger because of it.
  3. Sometimes the most emotional experiences can leave us feeling lost or isolated. Loneliness is, unfortunately, a normal part of a breakup, especially if you’d been with someone for a long time. If you’re feeling lonely while in a relationship, it may be because the emotional or romantic connection has changed. [15]
    • Use the time alone after a breakup to [ on yourself ] and refill your cup.
    • Have an open conversation with your partner about being lonely, so you can work together to strengthen your relationship.
    Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

    You don't need to be physically alone to feel lonely. "Loneliness is most painful not when we are alone, but when we are misunderstood, rejected, ostracized, or ignored by the people around us."

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Section 3 of 3:

Asking for Help

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  1. More often than not, the best thing you can do for yourself is ask for help. If you’ve felt exceptionally lonely for a while or lost motivation to do things you love, reach out to a therapist or licensed counselor. They’ll be able to help you work through and understand your emotions while providing personalized treatments or techniques you can try. [16]
    • If you can’t find a therapist in your area, try an online therapy platform like Talkspace or BetterHelp .

Join the Discussion...

What do you do when you feel lonely?
WikiAxolotlDriver876
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WikiAxolotlDriver876
I've been feeling lonely a lot lately. Sometimes I'll just be sitting at my desk on my laptop and out of nowhere I'll get hit with a sudden wave... Read More
Amy Chan
Relationship Coach
If you're feeling lonely, you can get your feel-good chemicals from spending time with friends, engaging with your community, and practicing self... Read More
Susan Pazak, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach
If you're feeling lonely, try developing a new routine that involves some type of mind, body, and spirit healing. Stick with this routine even if... Read More
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      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Loneliness can be created by thoughts. Become aware of your thoughts and feel if your thoughts are creating such feelings. Thoughts like "No one cares about me." No one ever calls me or invites me to do things." Often these thoughts are wrong! We all have people who care about us and people who would love to be in our company! Be the one who calls another and makes the invitation to do something fun.
      • If you feel lonely, you can do whatever you want. You can enjoy so many things in your life. You can spend with your family if you are lonely. If you don't have anything to do then try new things, like traveling!
      • Be yourself, say hi, and have a conversation with someone. Sometimes, those you may think dislike you may well turn out to be someone that wants to be your friend.
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      References

      1. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 29 May 2019.
      2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
      3. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 29 May 2019.
      4. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/
      5. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
      6. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495
      7. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/faq-20057898
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pura-vida/201401/meditation-medicine-loneliness
      9. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/coronavirus/coping-with-loneliness-during-coronavirus/
      1. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/coronavirus/coping-with-loneliness-during-coronavirus/
      2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/mood-boosting-power-of-dogs.htm
      3. ↑ https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-020-02818-3
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-symptoms-and-warning-signs.htm
      5. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/
      6. ↑ https://time.com/5548386/feeling-lonely-in-relationship/
      7. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 29 May 2019.

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To deal with loneliness, try exploring new hobbies and activities, such as taking a class or volunteering within your community. If you're anxious around other people, try doing things by yourself, like going out to dinner or seeing a movie. Alternatively, join an online community to share your thoughts and ask questions to those who are also dealing with loneliness. You can also deepen your relationships with people who are already in your life, like your family and close friends. To learn how to identify the reasons for your loneliness, keep reading!

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