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The long, dark hours of the night can be especially lonely for those who sleep by themselves or live alone. Truth is, nighttime loneliness can affect anyone, making you feel sad or scared. Though it’s important to acknowledge that you’re feeling lonely, you don’t have to just suck it up and suffer through your nights in misery. There are meaningful things you can do to make your nights feel fuller and more enjoyable.
Things to Try When You’re Lonely at Night
- Do something active, like exercising or dancing, to boost your mood.
- Go for a walk or a drive to get yourself out of the house.
- Call or text a friend to get some interaction.
- Play music, watch a movie, or read a book to entertain yourself.
- Learn about something new or find inspiration for a creative project.
- Relax before bed and put together a satisfying sleep routine.
- Don’t stress about being alone because you’re in good company!
Steps
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Get moving. There are lots of ways you can get your body moving and get your mind off your feelings of loneliness: try exercising, dancing to your favorite songs, jumping on your bed, or learning karate on YouTube.
- Exercise gives you endorphins, which boost your mood and may help improve your feelings of loneliness. [1] X Research source Just remember not to exercise too close to bedtime or your body and brain will have a hard time winding down and settling into sleep mode. For some people, evening workouts give them the freedom to sleep in a little later while still maintaining their health.
- Doing something fun and funny—like playing great music and dancing in your underwear. This will get you laughing, which is a great way to start feeling good instead of feeling lonely!
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Find inspiration. Nights can be notorious for bringing out your most negative emotions, especially when we are all alone. However, you can counteract that by seeking out positive things to make the loneliness more bearable.
- Browse Pinterest or Google for inspirational quotes to paste as a wallpaper on your phone or profile photo on social media. Read an autobiography of a successful person you admire. Or, watch an uplifting and educational TED Talk. [2] X Research source
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Lose yourself in another world. Read a great book, watch a favorite movie, binge watch a television show, or surf the internet. All of these options will tune your brain onto a different channel and focus your attention away from the fact of your loneliness. When you feel sleepiness start to creep in, then you can head to bed.
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Go for a drive or a walk. Sometimes the best thing to do is get out of the house (weather permitting). A little bit of distraction and a change of scenery can go a long way toward making you forget about how lonely you’re feeling. You might even see someone you know and have a quick chat. Or, you may stumble upon something interesting along the way. [3] X Research source
- Consider venturing into unknown territory. For example, take a drive to a part of town you’re not familiar with or walk to a neighborhood you don’t usually visit. Just be sure it's a relatively safe area beforehand. This way you’re experiencing something new as part of curing your loneliness, which may give you an extra dose of distraction.
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Get educated. One expert suggests reading up on loneliness as a way of feeling less alone. The more you learn about loneliness and how common it is, the less lonely you may feel. When you know that even a difficult, painful feeling you are having is shared by others, it makes that feeling a little less terrible.
- Look at resources online or check a book out of the library. Keep these resources on hand for when you’re feeling particularly bad. You can always pull up those motivational quotes you like and read over them to give yourself a little pep talk when loneliness strikes. One good example of a practical guide about the subject is Emily White’s Lonely: Learning to Live with Solitude. [4] X Research source
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Embrace being by yourself. Realize that you are actually really good company for yourself. You don’t need to be around other people or doing exciting things to be happy. While being with others is great, it's also important to learn to enjoy solitude. Spending time alone can be very valuable. If you can embrace being by yourself—and embrace your loneliness—you may end up feeling less lonely.
- When you find yourself feeling lonely, take time to relax and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing and the feelings of each part of your body. Try to be in the moment, just focusing on yourself.
- Try reciting this self-compassion verse to remind yourself you are not alone in feeling lonely and to treat yourself gently when you feel this way: This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. Let me be kind to myself in this moment. Let me give myself the compassion that I need.
- This technique might not work for everyone. Some people will find it too difficult to relax while concentrating on themselves in the midst of feeling lonely, preferring a distraction instead. This is completely fine and normal.
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Connect with someone. Find someone that you can talk to at any time of night—even 2:30 a.m. This might be your significant other, a sibling, a parent, or your best friend. [5] X Research source Roll over and shake your loved one awake, or make a phone call to someone who is willing to talk to you. Maybe, you can connect with your roommate who's only a few doors down. Just reach out to someone if you can.
- If it’s not too late, consider calling someone who would really appreciate hearing from you, like an elderly relative. This will not only lift your spirits, but theirs also, which will then lift yours again in return!
- When loneliness hits in the middle of the night and it’s too late to call or visit with someone, you can always write an e-mail or a letter to someone special. Though you’re probably used to immediate connection in today’s fast-paced society, writing to a loved one in this situation is actually a really great way to thoughtfully convey your feelings and ideas—and the e-mail or letter will reach them in due time.
- You can also invite people over to watch a movie, have dinner, or just hang out. If you’re seeing close friends or family, invite them to stay over; sometimes it’s nice just knowing there’s someone in the other room.
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Go out. One way to avoid nighttime loneliness is to get out of the house in the evenings leading up to bedtime. This doesn’t mean you have to stay out until the sun comes up. Simply go out to the movies with friends, have a late dinner with a classmate, or catch drinks with girls from the office.
- You may not feel like going out if you feel depressed or sad, but that’s exactly when you most need to do so. [6] X Research source Plus, once you get home, it will be time to climb under the covers and you won’t have much time to spend feeling lonely.
- If you’re really reluctant to go out, try this: instead of committing to the whole evening, tell your friend/the group that you can meet for one drink (or an appetizer, etc.), but then you’ll probably have to get going. Then, you’ll most likely find that things have gone well and you feel much better than you anticipated—and you can stay for another round (or two).
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Join a group or take up a new hobby. Adding an activity/class that you look forward to in the evening can take your mind off your feelings of loneliness and give your evenings a sense of structure. Although you might not find many groups that meet at 2 a.m., you can find a host of activities to engage in during the evening hours, such as yoga, tai chi, knitting, and painting.
- Look on meetup.com to find people in your area who are interested in similar things and events that are going on around you. Who knows, you might meet someone who has trouble with feeling lonely at night, too. The two of you can spend time together, talk on the phone, or Skype to combat loneliness together.
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Give back. When we’re feeling down, it’s easy to focus all of our attention and energy on ourselves, which can lead to increased negativity. If we focus our attention outwards instead, we can often take our minds off our own loneliness and do some good in the meantime.
- Try volunteering at a local homeless shelter, animal shelter, or another place of need in your area. The hours will fly by as you play with or wash the cute pets, or participate in some other charitable event.
- Consider visiting the elderly and sick at a nursing home or a local hospital. If your own relatives are shut-in, pay them a visit and see what joy it brings. Sometimes, when you get the opportunity to recognize how fortunate you are, life feels less bleak. Being able to help others can really uplift your perspective.
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Establish a sleep routine. Going to bed and waking up at roughly the same times each day helps your body to fall asleep faster, which will help you to feel less stressed when you’re in bed. It may take a few weeks to establish a new routine, so don’t worry if things don’t click immediately.
- Going to bed early, while there's still some noise outside, may help you to feel less alone. If you live alone, this technique may help you to feel more comfortable since others will still be up making noise in the apartments or streets around you. [7] X Research source
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Relax before going to bed. Spend some time unwinding before going to bed. Limit television and cell phone screen time at least 20 minutes before bed to help your brain start to turn down for the night ahead.
- Other techniques to help calm yourself before bed include meditation, breathing exercises, visualization, and structured muscle relaxation. You can also try reading a book or magazine by low light, doing a crossword puzzle, or listening to soft music.
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Don’t force yourself to sleep if you can’t. Trying to sleep when you’re unable to will only increase your anxiety and make it still harder to fall asleep. If you can’t fall asleep, get up and go into a different room and do a relaxing activity. [8] X Research source In time, you’ll find that you’ve unwound and are ready to try going back to bed.
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Be aware of light. People sleep better at night after having had sunlight exposure throughout the waking hours. Also, limit the amount of light in your bedroom while you sleep, as having lights on can make it harder to fall asleep. [9] X Research source
- If you don’t have blackout curtains (curtains that literally “blackout” all incoming light), consider buying a sleep mask to cover your eyes. These are inexpensive and can be purchased at most drugstores and online.
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Don’t nap during the day. If you forgo your mid-day snooze, you will be more tired at night and more likely to fall asleep quickly—and therefore have less time to feel lonely or stressed while in bed. [10] X Research source
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Add background noise to your bedroom. You may wish to add some form of ambient or white noise. Many people like sounds from nature like waterfalls or the rain forests.
- These and other similar sounds are available from sound machines or on apps available through smart phones, tablets, and computers.
- For those with loneliness while sleeping alone, a good bet may be to turn the TV on and have the volume low. The sound of voices may be calming. If possible, angle the screen away from you to help decrease your light exposure from the TV. Light in the bedroom can be problematic for sleeping. [11] X Research source
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Tips
- A person can be alone without feeling lonely, and in many instances you may choose to be alone, like when you want to read a book, take a nap, or watch your favorite television show by yourself. Loneliness, by contrast, comes about whenever you are alone and feel sad about being alone. In this situation, perception is very important. [12] X Research sourceThanks
- Loneliness can affect obesity and blood pressure rates (by as many as 30 points), as well as lead to insomnia, so it’s important that you address persistent feelings of loneliness before they become overwhelming. [13] X Research sourceThanks
- Approximately 10% of North Americans deal with chronic loneliness.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- If you live in a safe area and you're old enough to be out at night alone, go for a walk! It can be very peaceful and relaxing to feel the world at sleep around you. You won't feel so alone if you can get your body moving and cultivate a meditative headspace while you walk.
- If you're struggling to sleep, turn on the radio, listen to a podcast, or throw on a white noise machine. If you give your brain something to focus on, you won't obsess over whatever complex feelings you're uncomfortable with.
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Warnings
- Allowing yourself to sink too far into feelings of loneliness can lead to feelings of depression and helplessness, which will only further perpetuate your sense of loneliness. If you begin to feel trapped by feelings of depression or helplessness, you should see your doctor or a therapist for help.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://greatist.com/move/reasons-working-out-night-best
- ↑ http://daringtolivefully.com/best-ted-talks
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/23/walk-nature-depression_n_5870134.html
- ↑ https://www.amazon.com/Lonely-Learning-Solitude-Emily-White/dp/0061765104
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201010/the-cure-loneliness
- ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1149242/Yes-loneliness-bad-health--YOU-cure-yourself.html
- ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15655/1/How-to-Stop-Being-Afraid-of-Sleeping-Alone.html
- ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/insomnia/content/what-do-when-you-cant-sleep/
- ↑ http://greatist.com/health/cant-sleep-advice-and-tips
- ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-tools-tips/healthy-sleep-tips
- ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15655/1/How-to-Stop-Being-Afraid-of-Sleeping-Alone.html
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/how-loneliness-sleep-are-connected?page=2
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/how-loneliness-sleep-are-connected
About This Article
Article Summary
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Feeling alone at night can be scary, but by keeping yourself busy and making a routine for going to bed, you can feel a lot better. Try doing an activity you like, such as reading a book or watching a movie, to take your mind off your loneliness. You could also try something that gets you moving, such as dancing to your favorite song or exercising. Movement can help release endorphins in your body that put you in a better mood. If getting out of the house is possible, take a walk outside, since a change of scenery can make a big difference. If you’re struggling to go to bed alone, try to go to sleep at the same time each night, which will make it easier for you to fall asleep quickly and feel less stressed. Limit the amount of light in your bedroom, since bright lights from electronic devices or other sources can keep you awake. For tips from our co-author on how to feel less lonely by contacting other people, keep reading!
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"I like to gauge my thoughts with the majority of people because, at times, I feel like I am out of touch with my true self and my real feelings. I keep up this wall of defense that I must not have compromised due to my conditioning and lifestyle, and my inadequate feelings of being less of a man due to society's expectations and stereotypical projections placed upon me. Or maybe it is merely my perception to feel like I am not worthy unless I can please everybody that I care about."
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