Download Article
Use male psychology to pique his interest and win his affection
Download Article
Everyone wants to feel desirable! If you're tired of doing all the chasing in your relationships, or if you just want to feel the thrill of being pursued by a guy, there are lots of things you can do to make it happen. We'll walk you through some basic strategies and share some insights about the human mind that might just surprise you. Are you ready to catch a guy’s eye and captivate him? Then read on for a detailed breakdown of all the proven ways to get a man to chase you.
Things You Should Know
- Catch his eye by flirting with him. Say his name often, make eye contact, smile, and touch him occasionally to pique his interest.
- Delay your responses when he texts you or send short messages in return, and turn him down occasionally to keep his interest without tipping your hand.
- Don’t go overboard on the hard-to-get act; send encouraging signals to show him he’s on the right path. Support and compliment him to show that you care.
Steps
-
Impress him with your confidence. Confidence is wildly attractive—guys tend to be drawn to confident people! Let your man see you being confident , and show him you love who you are and that you're proud of everything you have to offer to the world. For example, you’ll definitely catch his eye by being assertive, so step up and approach him first. [1] X Research source Other ways to show confidence include:
- Making direct eye contact with him when you speak rather than looking away often (which indicates shyness).
- Dressing in clothing that makes you feel good. When you feel good, you’re more likely to feel confident as well.
- Using open body language. In an open stance, neither your arms nor legs are crossed. Face him directly and let your hands make expressive gestures as you talk.
-
Flirt with him to encourage him to chase you. It’s important to get your flirt on if you want to show a guy that you’re interested. Luckily, there are lots of ways to do it. Smile, tease him a bit, give him a playful wink, gently brush against his hand or arm, or however else you like to work your mojo. If you’re feeling bold, blow him a kiss from across the room as you leave! Basically, be a fun person whenever you're together. [2] X Research source
- Don't come on too strong all at once. Flirt a bit, to begin with, then pull back to see how he reciprocates.
- If you're shy or the idea of touching him makes you nervous, try "accidentally" touching him. Bump into him, knock elbows, reach for something at the same time he does—anything that creates skin-on-skin contact.
Advertisement -
Mirror his mannerisms to hint at your interest. When you're around your guy, subtly mirror his postures, movements, mannerisms, and facial expressions. Studies show that this can make him want to interact with you more and increases feelings of attraction. [3] X Research source Pretty easy, right?
- For example, if he gazes into your eyes, laughs a lot, and touches his hair when you compliment him, do the same! Just remember to be subtle about it so he doesn't realize you're doing it on purpose.
-
Say his name often while you’re chatting him up. People tend to be more attentive and feel cared for when they hear their own names. If you want him to really notice you, say his name in conversation. Slip it in naturally before or after asking him a question, for instance. You might say, "John, where did you grow up?" or "Do you come here often, Anthony?" [4] X Research source
- See how often he says your name, too! For example, it’s a little more intimate to say, “Can I get you a drink, Beth?” compared to, “Can I get you a drink?”
-
Show off your looks when you’re on a date with him. Subtly seduce him whenever you see him by wearing flattering clothes that feel great on you and creating an overall look that makes you feel attractive, cool, and confident. Pay attention to what he likes, too—for example, if he mentioned how great you look with your hair down and loose, wear it like that around him to really make an impression. [5] X Research source
- Whatever look you choose, use it to enhance your natural features and put your best foot forward whenever you see him.
- For example, if you’re curvy, wear clothes that show off those natural curves. If you want him to notice your chest or shoulders, wear clothes to highlight those features.
- Did you know the color blue can make you seem more trustworthy to a man on a subconscious level? [6]
X
Expert Source
Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert Expert Interview. 20 December 2019. Try incorporating it into a few outfits.
- Whatever look you choose, use it to enhance your natural features and put your best foot forward whenever you see him.
Advertisement
-
Make sure he sees you having fun with your friends. Your guy might lose interest if he feels like your whole life revolves around him—so show him that you’ve got a rich social life and have a great time whether or not he’s there. If you’re having fun and being the life of the party with your tribe, you're more likely to catch his eye! The more desirable you seem, the more he'll want you. [7] X Research source
-
Let him see you getting attention from other men occasionally. Don't talk too much about hanging out with other guys, or he might think you're trying too hard to get his attention. Instead, let him see you talking to other guys and maybe even flirting with them a little bit. Why does this work? If he sees other men enjoying your company, it’s more likely to motivate him to chase you and win your heart over them. [8] X Research source
- You don’t need to do this too often! After all, it’s important to still seem available to him. Just try it once or twice and then see how he reacts.
-
Work on yourself and set goals to work on independently. It can be a little nerve-wracking to play it cool and wait for a guy to chase you, so try focusing on a particular goal for yourself instead. Maybe you want to learn a new skill or reach a milestone in your career! Focus on reaching your goals and working to be the best version of yourself—and, as a bonus, impress your guy by showing him what a driven, ambitious person you are. [9] X Research source
- For example, you might decide to hone your drawing and painting skills and work on an ambitious new art project or focus on learning a skill valuable for your job in order to get a promotion.
-
Make him miss you by turning him down from time to time. You want him to see you around, but you don't want to be a constant presence. After all, he needs time to miss you if he’s going to start chasing you! Don't show up at every single event that he goes to, and avoid answering his phone calls from time to time. Turn down a hangout session once or twice because you have other plans. [10] X Research source
- Just remember not to seem too unavailable, or he might get the wrong message. A good rule of thumb is simply to live your life—so, if you’re doing something the next time he calls, let it go to voicemail and call him back later.
- Basically, don’t go too far out of your way to shut him out, but don’t derail your life and regular activities to talk to him either.
-
Delay your responses sometimes and keep messages brief. This is another great way to make him miss you and feel more curious about what you’re up to. Unless the text is urgent, let some time go by before you get back to him. You don’t need to respond right away to every text he sends you! Additionally, try not to write him a novel over text; send him short and sweet responses to maintain an exciting air of mystery. [11] X Research source
- You don’t have to send one-word responses every time; just leave the majority of your fun, interesting stories for dates!
- For example, if he asks, “How was your day?” you might respond, “Kind of wild! I’ll tell you all about it this Saturday. How about you?”
-
Hold a little back and avoid telling him everything about you. If you rush to disclose every thought, idea, and emotion you have, he might feel a bit overwhelmed. Plus, tipping your hand early can dispel the aura of mysteriousness around you—and a little mystery is often super intriguing for guys! So be a little enigmatic and hard to read sometimes, and keep him guessing about you so he’ll want to see you more. [12] X Research source
- For example, don’t share every detail of your life within the first couple of dates. Save some information and share it over time!
- Let him learn about you a little bit at a time so he knows you’re being honest and opening up to him, but also that there’s still more to discover.
- Consider holding back intimacy as well if you’re not sure you’re ready yet. You’re not obligated to sleep with him right away—you don’t owe him anything. Don’t feel pressured to do anything just to catch his eye!
Advertisement
-
Make him feel valued and desirable. Guys like a challenge, but ultimately, they want a challenge that they can actually win. If you seem completely disinterested or non-responsive, he may just give up on ever having a relationship with you. So, even though you’re trying to play it cool, make a point to pay him a sweet compliment or tell him how much you appreciate him. Show him that his efforts haven’t gone unnoticed! [13] X Research source
- For example, you might tell him how great he looks or how much you admire his best qualities.
- When he does something nice for you, thank him. Tell him if he does something well, and express gratitude for his efforts.
- Playing hard-to-get works temporarily, but it isn’t a permanent solution. Typically, the goal is only to play it cool until he’s ready to see you exclusively. Otherwise, he might feel like you’re just playing games with him.
-
Support him and be his cheerleader. As you spend more time together, take an interest in his work, goals, and accomplishments. Offer encouragement or advice when he might need it, and cheer him on even if you aren’t super familiar with his line of work. Show him that you can be a compassionate, supportive person ; he may realize that he wants someone like that in his life on a more permanent basis and chase you! [14] X Research source
- For example, check in with him over text if you know he’s working on an important project for work. Say something like, “You’re really talented, and you know your stuff. You’ve got this!” or “Good luck! Let me know how it goes. :)”
-
Post on the social media accounts he follows. Keeping your socials up to date with all your latest adventures (and red-hot looks) also makes it impossible for him to forget about you! [15] X Research source If he can scroll down his Instagram feed and see how much fun you had with your friends the other night or the cool art piece you created, it might just encourage him to reach out and ask to see you again.
- Does he like or comment on your posts? That means his social media algorithm shows him a lot of your stuff—which, in turn, means he searches for your social media profile quite a bit. In short, it’s a sign that he’s interested!
-
Spend more time around him so you’re in his thoughts often. Seize any opportunity to hang out casually with your guy. Psychological studies show that when men develop familiarity with a person, they think about them more often and end up preferring that person over other potential partners. Basically, the more he sees you, the more he'll crave you. [16] X Research source Try things like:
- Attending events when you know he'll be there
- Inviting him or his friend group to do something fun
- Chatting him and his friends up when you see them around
- Snagging a seat by him in class or at other events
-
Do something exciting together to create an emotional bond. Psychologically speaking, putting your man into a heightened emotional state makes him form an unspoken connection with you. Plus, if he knows that you’re fun to be around and he enjoys your company, it’s only natural for him to start seeking you out more! Make memories with him by doing exciting, adventurous things when you spend time together. [17] X Research source
- For example, if you experience something scary or exciting together, like a horror movie or rollercoaster ride, he may associate you with closeness and excitement.
- Ask him about going on an adventurous day trip, or get tipsy with him at a bar, so he’ll associate you with that fun, euphoric feeling.
- Alternatively, buy him spicy food to create a connection in his mind between you and his tingling tongue. It may sound strange, but psychology backs this up!
-
Talk about your career, hobbies, and passions around him. Having a meaningful and fulfilling life makes you an interesting person to be around! Talk about things you're passionate about, and tell him about projects you're working on. Share your greatest passions with him and show him that you're a unique, intelligent, and interesting human being—because that's exactly what you are. [18] X Research source
- Be sure to ask him questions about his interests, too! Showing interest in his life may help nudge your guy to see that you really do like and care for him.
-
Be yourself around him and cultivate self-love. Sometimes, getting into a relationship can make you want to change yourself to make a guy happy—but that’s not actually the key to getting him to chase you! Attract him in the best (and healthiest) way possible by simply being your authentic self and building your sense of self-love. The happier you feel about yourself, the more likely your cheerful attitude is to catch his attention. [19] X Research source
- Feel like you need some more self-love in your life? Try reciting positive affirmations like, “I am everything I need to be!” and “I am incredible and worthy of love.”
- Remember—it’s okay to drop a guy if he isn’t meeting your standards. It’s nice to be chased, but you don’t have to accept a guy just because he’s persistent; he should also be a compatible partner who genuinely makes you happy!
Advertisement
Community Q&A
Search
-
QuestionI need to see my guy tonight. How can I get him to ask me to stay with him tonight without asking him if I can stay?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerYou could ask him if he wants to watch a movie at his place tonight, just be sure to pick a long movie! It'll be pretty late by the time it ends and it would be natural for him to invite you to stay at that point.
-
QuestionHow do you make a man more sexually attracted to you?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerBe confident, approach him first, flirt with him, hold eye contact, and smile. Keep the conversation fun and light and touch him on the arm a few times to see how he reacts. It'll be pretty clear at that point if he's into you or not. Good luck!
-
QuestionHow do you make a guy talk to a girl if they don't know each other?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerStart by smiling at him and making eye contact a few times from across the room. Find a reason to stand a little closer to where he is and see if he takes the bait!
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement
Video
Tips
Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201403/when-should-you-play-hard-get
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-play-hard-get
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1999-05479-002
- ↑ https://psych2go.net/6-behaviors-that-make-someone-chase-you-backed-by-psychological-research/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attraction/
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ https://psych2go.net/6-behaviors-that-make-someone-chase-you-backed-by-psychological-research/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-play-hard-get
- ↑ https://thepleasantrelationship.com/how-to-make-a-guy-fall-in-love-with-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-play-hard-get
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/text-guy/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201707/why-we-want-who-we-want
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201707/why-we-want-who-we-want
- ↑ https://thepleasantrelationship.com/how-to-make-a-guy-fall-in-love-with-you/
- ↑ https://thepleasantrelationship.com/how-to-make-a-guy-fall-in-love-with-you/
- ↑ https://psych2go.net/6-behaviors-that-make-someone-chase-you-backed-by-psychological-research/
- ↑ https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/why-playing-hard-to-get-is-good-game-and-other-lessons-from-behavioral-economics
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/4-tips-attracting-someone-new-and-still-being-yourself
- ↑ https://www.regain.us/advice/attraction/how-to-sexually-attract-men-8-tips-for-making-yourself-irresistible/
About This Article
Article Summary
X
To get a man to chase you, flirt with him by making eye contact, playing with your hair, and teasing him, to get his attention. Another way to get his interest is to let him see you talking to other men, since he’ll want you more if he thinks there’s competition. You should also remember to have fun being yourself when you want a man to chase you, which will make you more interesting and attractive to any guy. When you start texting, don’t reply immediately, since this will keep him in suspense and won’t make you seem overly eager. On the other hand, you don’t want to seem too distant or he’ll get bored so surprise him sometimes with a call or suggest a date to keep him coming back. For more tips, including how to keep a man chasing you once you’ve fallen in love, read on!
Did this summary help you?
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 786,790 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "Some of the tips where helpful, like don't call the guy right away, and make him wait. Others were dumb, like being naughty. I had a guy before. As long as you keep boundaries, the relationship sometimes works. It really depends on the guy's temperament, too." ..." more
Advertisement
100%
of readers found this article helpful
.
Click a star to add your vote
% of people told us that this article helped them.
"Some of the tips where helpful, like don't call the guy right away, and make him wait. Others were dumb, like being naughty. I had a guy before. As long as you keep boundaries, the relationship sometimes works. It really depends on the guy's temperament, too."
..."
more
"This article is funny! It is as if celebrating womanhood! I absolutely love it! :D"
"This article just freshened my mind about what I need to do to get my crush."
"It helps me, because I have never had a chance to get a boyfriend."
"I did try it all, and it works! Thanks."
