If a girl has caught your eye, talking to her and telling her about your feelings can seem daunting. Do your best to keep your cool! Working up the courage to ask her out can be tough, but take a few deep breaths and think positive thoughts. Break the ice and tell her you’d like to get to know her better. Instead of putting too much pressure on yourself, just focus on having fun and enjoying each other's company.
Simple Tips to Get a Girl to Like You
Act natural and break the ice with a joke or an open-ended question. Pay her thoughtful compliments and do your best to keep the conversation flowing. Ask her about her interests and hobbies to get to know her better, and then ask her out.
Steps
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Try to have confidence and act naturally. Confidence is attractive, so think positive thoughts about yourself. Tell yourself, “I've got this! I'm fun, easy to talk to, and a great person.” The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more at ease you’ll be when you talk to the girl you like. [1] X Research source
- Additionally, keeping your cool will set the tone; she might get uncomfortable if you’re nervous and jittery.
- To relax before starting a conversation with the girl you like, try taking slow, deep breaths for a few minutes while imagining calming scenery.
Look Your Best: When you approach the girl you like, make sure you’re well-groomed and put together. You’ll have a better shot at making a great impression if you look your best, and it can boost your confidence, too! [2] X Research source
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Break the ice with a joke or open-ended question. A joke can be a great way to break the ice, but you don’t want to be cheesy. If you’re not confident about your comedic timing, you could also just make an observation or ask a question. Just make sure whatever you say is open-ended, or invites a response from her. [3] X Research source
- For instance, you could say, “So how about our math homework last night? It was so long, I thought the problems would never end!” or just ask, “Hey! How’s your day going?”
- If you don’t already know her that well, introduce yourself. Say something like, “Hey, how are you? I’m Sam—I’m in your history class. What do you think of Mr. Jones going off on Tyler like that yesterday?”
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Pay her a thoughtful compliment. Think of a compliment that focuses on a quality you admire, like her sense of humor, style, or intelligence. Thoughtful compliments like these will probably make her feel more special than just saying something about her looks or body. [4] X Research source
- For example, say, “I saw the school play last week, and you did a great job! You have a gorgeous voice,” or “Congrats on acing another test! You’re so smart!”
- If you do want to compliment her looks, keep it respectful. Try telling her, “You have really beautiful eyes,” or simply say, “You look really nice.”
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Do your best to fill awkward silences. You don’t want to lose her interest or make things awkward, so try to keep the conversation flowing. It might be helpful to think of topics to talk about ahead of time. Asking questions that prompt more than a simple “Yes” or “No” can also help keep the conversation going. [5] X Research source
- If you need to fill an awkward pause, try asking questions like “What do you like to do for fun,” “Do you have any pets,” or “What kind of music do you like?”
- Try to gauge her responses and body language if the conversation isn’t flowing well. If she’s giving you one-word responses or seems annoyed, give her space.
- Remember not to take it personally if she doesn’t want to talk. Maybe she’s just having a bad day.
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Avoid coming on too strong. Don’t feel like you have to have a long, deep conversation with her every time you see her, especially at first. A simple wave or quick chat are better than begging for her attention. An air of mystery can be an attractive quality, so don’t lay all of your cards out on the table. [6] X Research source
- Additionally, try to be mindful of your words and body language. It can be easy to talk too much or make awkward gestures when you’re nervous. Be yourself, but try to be cool, calm, and collected.
- While you don’t want to come on too strong, don’t go overboard with the hard-to-get game. Don’t, for instance, all out ignore her or flirt with other girls in front of her to make her jealous.
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Give her hints that you might have feelings for her. As you start talking to her more often, get a little more flirty. Compliment her a little more, sit with her at lunch and, if you’re in school together, walk her to her next class. [7] X Research source
- You could even say something like, “Well, maybe I like you a little bit,” or “Who knows, maybe I have a little crush on you.” Just try to let things happen naturally and get more at ease being around each other.
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Choose a stress-free time and place to ask her out. If she’s fighting with her parents, stressed out about a test, or otherwise has a lot on her plate, she’s not going to be receptive. Set yourself up for success and ask her out when things are less hectic. [8] X Research source
- Maybe you’re having lunch with her or chatting after school or work. If everything seems to be going well and she’s in good spirits, give it a shot!
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Practice asking her out in the mirror. Before you go for it, think of a rough script to help you avoid getting tongue-tied. Try practicing in the mirror or jot down what you want to say to her. You don’t want to come off as robotic or over-rehearsed, but have an idea of what you want to say ahead of time. [9] X Research source
Try Saying: “Hey, I really like talking to you, and I think it’d be cool to get to know each other better. Maybe we could go out some time?”
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Be honest and direct, but keep things light-hearted. Get to the point! Sometimes you have to be bold and express exactly what you want. Take a deep breath, do your best to stay cool, and tell her that you like her and would like to go out with her. [10] X Research source
- For instance, you could say, “I think you're really cool, and it'd be fun to to hang out together more. What do you think about grabbing some food and seeing a movie this weekend?”
- While you should be honest, don’t go overboard and confess your deep love for her or say you can't live without her. Keep things low-key; just let her know you like her, enjoy spending time with her, and want to get to know her better.
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Don’t take it personally if she says no. If she’s not interested, show her respect and handle rejection gracefully. Tell yourself, “I gave it a shot, and it's okay if she's not right for me. There are plenty of girls out there!” It may feel like she’s the only one for you now, and it's okay to be sad, but remind yourself that these feelings will go away in time. [11] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- If you're down in the dumps, try listening to music, exercising, or doing an activity you enjoy. Talking to a friend or relative can also help you blow off steam.
- Sometimes 2 people just don’t click. That doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person. Maybe she has a particular type, or maybe she just has a lot going on in her life right now. In any case, if the answer is no, do your best to be chill about it.
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Learn more about her interests. Ask about her likes and dislikes and find out what you have in common. Actively listen to her when she talks about her passions to show that you’re sincerely interested in getting to know her.
- When you talk in person, hold eye contact and make gestures to show you’re actively listening, like nodding your head or saying “Uh-huh.”
- Be sure to give her your full attention when you’re having a conversation with her. Don’t play on your phone or text other people while she’s talking! [12] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- It’s great if you like the same music or share a hobby, but keep in mind you don’t need to enjoy everything she likes. Be yourself instead of saying you like something just because she’s into it. Share what you have in common and respect your differences.
- Reader Poll: We asked 630 wikiHow readers who've asked someone out, and 53% of them agreed that the best way to approach it is by taking things slow and getting to know them first. [Take Poll] As you get to know the girl you like, you’ll learn just how compatible you are.
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Come up with inside jokes. Inside jokes develop naturally, so try to be patient. When something makes you both crack up, take a mental note of it. Bring it up every now and then when you see her and have a good laugh together. Sharing jokes and laughing together can help you strengthen your connection.
- Keep in mind you don’t want to play an inside joke out so much that it becomes stale. If a silly word or catch phrase makes you both laugh, you don’t need to bring it up every other minute.
Ask for Her Number: If you don’t already have her number, you could say, “There’s this really funny meme I want to text you. What’s your number?”
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Hang out in low-stakes, low-pressure situations. You could take a stroll in the park together or go for a bike ride. If you have dogs, ask her if she'd like to walk them together. In addition to hanging out one-on-one, you could also hang out with friends, which can help you spend time together without putting too much pressure on yourselves.
- When you first start hanging out, you might be nervous or feel awkward. Low-pressure situations and going out together with friends can help you get more comfortable being around each other.
- Other good date options include fun, exciting activities that you both enjoy. You could, for example, go skating, play arcade or video games, or go to an amusement park.
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Offer your support if she’s having a rough day. If she’s sad or angry, let her vent her feelings. Give her advice if she wants to hear it; if she just needs to blow off steam, lend her your ear.
- In addition to having fun together, offering each other emotional support is important for any relationship. This helps a connection grow from simple attraction to deep, loving affection.
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Attract Girls and Win Their Hearts with this Expert Series
Attracting girls and turning them on doesn't have to be hard. Learn how with these expert articles, hand-picked from our dating coaches and relationship experts.
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QuestionHow can I be attractive to a girl?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerBe well groomed, interesting, friendly and fun to be around. Avoid making silly jokes or lewd comments. Help her to feel comfortable in your presence by being kind and listening well to what she says. Try to impress her by showing off any talents you may have. For more details on these ideas and more, check out the wikiHow: How to Be Attractive to Girls .
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QuestionHow can I attract a girl without talking to her?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerYou can use appearance, posture and body language to help you attract a girl. Each requires some effort though, so be sure to check out the wikiHow that we have on this very topic: How to Attract Girls Without Talking to Them .
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QuestionHow can I make a girl fall in love with me?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerThere's no way of "making" a person fall in love but you can increase the odds of this happening by getting a girlfriend, dating for a while and being a wonderful, sweet, caring and respectful human being. For more help, check out the wikiHow: How to Get a Girl to Fall in Love with You .
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Tips
- Make sure she’s available before asking her out. If she says she has a boyfriend, respect her relationship. You can still be friends, as long as you can respect her boundaries. [13] X Research sourceThanks
- If the girl you like rejects you, don't come back to her and keep trying. If she changes her mind she might send you signals to try again, but give her space in the meantime.Thanks
- Try to become friends with her friends. Don't flirt with them, but show them that you’re a nice person who deserves to go out with the girl you like.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- If you ever have a choice between starting a conversation with a girl you like online or IRL, always go IRL. Guys tend to flood women with messages online, so you could get lost in the crowd if you try to start on social media. Besides, you can always ask for her Snapchat or Insta later.
- Don't be overly shy when it comes to shooting your shot and admitting how you feel. If you get the vibe that she may like you, ask her out! If you spend all of your time testing the waters, she might get the impression that you don't actually like her.
- It really cannot be overstated how important good hygiene is. Brush your teeth, take care of your hair, and shower regularly. So many guys (especially younger guys) don't realize how much women notice if you aren't taking care of yourself.
- Don't try to be someone you're not. Always be yourself. Even if you do put on the world's best performance and sweep her off of her feet, it's not a good way to build a genuine relationship.
- Don't be clingy. It can be frustrating to sit around and play the long game, but it's your best bet if you actually want a sustainable long-term relationship.
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Warnings
- Never pressure her into doing anything that makes her uncomfortable or disrespect her if she’s not interested.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201107/dating-tips-confident-assertive-men-learning-rebecca-watson
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-ask-a-girl-out.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-make-small-talk/
- ↑ http://time.com/4817895/avoid-awkward-silences/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201605/4-ways-you-can-turn-crush-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201605/4-ways-you-can-turn-crush-relationship
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-ask-a-girl-out.html
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-ask-a-girl-out.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-ask-a-girl-out.html
About This Article
Article Summary
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To get the girl you like, start by asking her open-ended questions about her interests to spark conversation and learn more about her. Try to hang out in low-pressure situations like strolling in the park, riding bikes, or chilling with a group of friends as you get to know each other better. If she’s having a hard day, offer support and let her know you're there if she needs to vent. When you’re ready to ask her out, choose a stress-free time when she seems to be in a good mood. It's totally normal to feel nervous, but take a deep breath and ask her directly if she’d like to go out with you. For example, you can say, “I think you’re really cool. Do you want to see a movie with me this weekend?” For more advice, including what to do if she turns you down, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "The body language part really stood out to me, since she is always doing one or the other. Now I'll know when it's a good time. Also, she recently broke up with someone, but I don't know how to ask for a date without sounding ignorant of her feelings." ..." more
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"The body language part really stood out to me, since she is always doing one or the other. Now I'll know when it's a good time. Also, she recently broke up with someone, but I don't know how to ask for a date without sounding ignorant of her feelings."
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"Balance. I loved the "I want you, but I don't need you" mantra. Just say "hi", very helpful to not try too hard. Compliment her. Practical way to make her feel comfortable. Tip about leaving when you're having the best time. Helpful!"
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"I liked this girl since the 4th grade, but she didn't like me. Later on in the 8th grade she started saying hi to me and noticing me. I was told she liked me, and now I have the courage to go up to her and ask her out."
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"The article about a person you love loving someone else, it really gave me the courage to stand up again and move on. Thanks very much for the help in building up my self confidence."
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"The tip that helped me the most is: if she rejects you, don't call her names. Chances are, she will respect your handling of rejection, and next time it will be her who asks you out."
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