How to Help Your Girlfriend Study

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During the semester, schoolwork and studying might seem like a third wheel in your relationship. That’s okay—believe it or not, there are plenty of ways to spend meaningful time with your girlfriend while helping her gear up for her classes. Here are a few studying tips and tricks to get you on your way!

1

Suggest a good possible time to study.

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    Is she typically up at the crack of dawn, or is she more of a night owl? Suggest a time when she’s at her most productive, and see if she’d prefer to study then.
    • You might suggest a late-night study session if your girlfriend doesn’t go to bed until 2:00 AM.
    • She may want to study at a different time than you suggest. That’s totally fine, too!
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2

Cater to her learning style.

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    Does your girlfriend like to read and process new information visually, or does she prefer to listen to the information? Or, does she learn best with hands-on activities? Ask her if she studies better with specific activities and habits—depending on what she says, you might suggest specific, helpful activities she can try while studying. [1]
    • If she’s a visual learner, you might suggest that she draw diagrams or color-code notes for her calculus class.
    • You could offer to read her literature notes aloud if she’s more of an auditory learner.
    • You might prepare for a public speaking class with a role-playing activity, or build models to help study for a physics exam.
3

Quiz her with questions from a practice exam.

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    Ask your girlfriend if she’d find a practice exam helpful—if she does, offer to ask her questions from a practice exam. Sitting and filling out a practice test can be a lot more tedious. [2]
    • You can find free practice exams online, depending on the subject.
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4

Offer to make some flashcards.

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    If your girlfriend doesn’t already have some, ask if she’d like you to write out any important terms or definitions on flashcards that she can review later. It’s okay if she doesn’t need your help—just let her study in a way that’s best for her. [3]
    • Don’t write too much on each card—just a word or definition on each side is enough.
    • To keep things organized, write a question on 1 side and an answer on the other.
    • For an anatomy class, you might write flashcards that label different parts of the body. In a French class, you might define specific vocabulary words.
5

Come up with some creative mnemonics.

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    Ask your girlfriend if she’d like to use mnemonics while studying. If she agrees, think of some different possible mnemonics for what your girlfriend is studying for—chances are, she might like the suggestion! [4]
    • My Very Excellent mother Just Served Us Nachos is a common mnemonic used to memorize the planets in the solar system.
    • Rhyming sentences or short poems are other great ways to memorize information.
    • PEMDAS (parentheses, exponents, multiply, divide, addition, subtraction) is an example of a popular math mnemonic.
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6

Invite her to teach you the material.

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    A short lesson is a great way to do this! Ask your girlfriend if she’d like to teach you about whatever she’s studying, whether it’s history, math, a foreign language, chemistry, or something else altogether. Some studies show that you’ll remember 90% of what you’ve learned when you teach it to someone else.
    • Your girlfriend might teach you how to conjugate Spanish verbs in the past tense, or walk you through the dark and light stages of photosynthesis.
7

Find ways to make study topics personal.

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    Offer to brainstorm ways she might remember certain facts, concepts, or vocab better—it might be through an inside joke, or a special memory the 2 of you share. These associations might help her remember some important information during her test!
    • For example, if she’s trying to memorize a specific historical date, you might mention a special activity the 2 of you did together on that day.
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8

Encourage her to alternate studying with breaks.

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    Offer to set a timer for that time, or suggest that she take periodic breaks. Whenever she chooses to take a break, offer lots of support and encouragement, and try to keep her mind off her studies.
    • The 52/17 model works best if you study nonstop for the 52 minutes, and then rest completely for the 17 minutes.
    EXPERT TIP

    Lauren Urban, LCSW

    Licensed Psychotherapist
    Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.
    Lauren Urban, LCSW
    Licensed Psychotherapist

    Breaks can help her restore her energy. During these breaks, boost her confidence by reminding her that challenges are completely normal and can be overcome.


9

Bring over some snacks.

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    Ask her if you can grab some food for her study session. If she agrees, offer some almonds or trail mix as a more savory snack, or bring over some fruit salad, frozen grapes, or apple slices and peanut butter to satisfy her sweet tooth. Greek yogurt, veggies and hummus, air-popped popcorn, dark chocolate, or roasted chickpeas are also tasty, nutritious snacks to consider.
    • Apples, strawberries, blueberries, kiwis, pineapple chunks, banana slices, and grapes are all great ingredients for a delicious fruit salad.
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10

Offer emotional support.

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    Studies show that support from a partner can be really beneficial, and actually helps your significant other achieve their goals. [5]
    • You might say something like, “I’m really proud of how you’re studying for your test,” or “You’re going to be a great doctor someday.”
11

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    Your girlfriend might want to figure things out independently, and may not want any unsolicited advice or suggestions. According to a study, some people feel more at ease studying when their significant other takes a step back. [6]
    • If you know about the topic she’s studying, don’t assume that she wants your expertise. Always ask before offering any unsolicited help!
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12

Avoid being controlling.

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    While it’s great that you want to help, controlling and manipulating her study routine will do far more harm than good. Let her decide when and how she wants to study for her test, and just follow along with whatever she decides. [7]
    • One study shows that controlling behavior in a relationship can often backfire, with the “controlled” partner deliberately opposing their partner’s demanding wishes.
    • Don’t say something like “You will study for 2 hours tonight.” Instead, suggest or offer an alternative, like “Would you like to study tonight?” or “Do you need any help getting ready for the math test tomorrow?”


Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I help my girlfriend study consistently?
    Ronitte Libedinsky, MS
    Academic Tutor
    Ronitte Libedinsky is an Academic Tutor and the Founder of Brighter Minds SF, a San Francisco, California based company that provides one-on-one and small group tutoring. Specializing in tutoring mathematics (pre-algebra, algebra I/II, geometry, pre-calculus, calculus) and science (chemistry, biology), Ronitte has over 12 years of experience tutoring to middle school, high school, and college students. She also tutors in SSAT, Terra Nova, HSPT, SAT, and ACT test prep. Ronitte holds a BS in Chemistry from the University of California, Berkeley, and an MS in Chemistry from Tel Aviv University.
    Ronitte Libedinsky, MS
    Academic Tutor
    Expert Answer
    My best advice is to help her create a schedule and encourage her to stick with it. It could be a paper calendar, or a digital calendar on Google or something. Have her map out each day's studying plan. Then, help her jot down all of the major assignments she has coming up. Often, just getting in the habit of planning to study will help make it happen!
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      Tips

      • Provide lots of encouragement during the study session, even if you aren’t that familiar with the material. Studying for an exam for an exam can be really daunting, and your girlfriend will definitely appreciate the support. [8]
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      Warnings

      • Don’t be condescending if you know more about the subject than she does. If she asks for your help, avoid walking her through basic information—instead, help specifically on whatever’s confusing her the most. [9]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.youthcentral.vic.gov.au/study-and-training/help-with-study/how-to-study-better/top-10-study-tips
      2. ↑ Ronitte Libedinsky, MS. Academic Tutor. Expert Interview. 26 May 2020.
      3. ↑ https://www.butte.edu/cas/tipsheets/studystrategies/studybio.html
      4. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/studying.html
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201501/7-ways-you-can-help-your-partner-reach-their-goals
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201501/7-ways-you-can-help-your-partner-reach-their-goals
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201501/7-ways-you-can-help-your-partner-reach-their-goals
      8. ↑ https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2015/nov/10-ways-motivate-yourself-study
      9. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_reasons_to_cultivate_patience

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