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After you’ve been in a relationship for a little while, you may want to show your affection in a different way. It’s completely normal to feel nervous when you first want to kiss your girlfriend, especially if you aren’t sure she feels the same way. While it may seem really stressful at first, giving your girlfriend a kiss is a great way to show her you care and make your relationship stronger. As you get more comfortable kissing each other, try mixing up your techniques to make it more fun. With a bit of confidence, you’ll be able to master your first kiss and many more to come!
Steps
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Freshen your breath beforehand. If you have the time, brush your teeth and tongue so your breath smells nice and fresh. If you need to get fresh breath even quicker, use mouthwash, a mint, or a piece of gum instead. Pick something with a spearmint or peppermint flavor since the fresh smell will last longer. [1] X Research source
- Brush and floss your teeth daily so you’re less likely to have bad breath throughout the day.
- Be sure to shower and put on deodorant as well so your whole body smells clean.
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Apply lip balm so your lips are soft and kissable. Dry and cracked lips may make kissing uncomfortable for you and your girlfriend. Find a moisturizing lip balm or gloss and rub it on your lips thoroughly. Choose one with a refreshing flavor, like mint or citrus, to help your breath smell better as well. Whenever your lips dry out or get chapped, apply the balm so they don’t get damaged. [2] X Research source
- Use lip balm for a few days beforehand since it will take a little while for it to be effective on your lips.
- Avoid putting on lip balm right before you kiss since it could make your lips slippery and the kiss messier.
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Wait for a quiet time where you’re alone with your girlfriend. While public places are fine for a quick peck, you probably don’t want everyone to see you during your first kiss. Wait for a time and place that’s more private so you can enjoy an intimate moment together. Some good times to try are at the end of a fun date or just while you’re relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. [3] X Research source
- Public displays of affection may make your girlfriend uncomfortable as well as the other people around you.
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Check if she’s making eye contact and leaning in to see if she’s interested. [4] X Expert Source Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019. Even if you’re ready for a kiss, always see if your girlfriend is ready to take that next step in your relationship. Look if she’s leaning in closer toward you, casually touching you on the arm or leg, making deep eye contact with you, or looking directly at your lips. If she’s doing any of these, she may be signaling that she wants you to kiss her. [5] X Research source- If you aren’t able to tell from her body language, come right out and ask her for her consent. For example, you can ask something like, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” or “Would you like a kiss?”
- If you want to kiss and your girlfriend doesn’t feel comfortable with it, respect her decision.
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Move in close to her to break the touch barrier. Whether you’re standing or sitting down, move your body closer to hers so you don’t have to lean in as far. As you reposition yourself, brush her leg or arm with your hand to show that you’re interested in taking things to the next step. You can even reach out and hold her hand if you want to make the moment feel more romantic. [6] X Research source
- If you’re too far apart, you’ll have to awkwardly lean and the kiss won’t feel as intimate.
- Physical touch is a great way to gauge your girlfriend’s interest in kissing as well. If you get closer and she pulls away, she may not be in the mood for a kiss.
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Make eye contact with each other. Look deeply into your girlfriend’s eyes and hold your gaze to connect with each other. As you’re looking into her eyes, quickly glance down toward her lips to let her know that you’re interested in kissing her. Your girlfriend may do the same to let your know she’s interested too. [7] X Research source
- Caress her cheek or hold her hand while you’re looking into each other’s eyes to build a stronger connection.
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Lean your body toward her when you feel ready. [8] X Expert Source Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019. Once you determine that you both want to kiss, start leaning your body forward closer to hers. Keep your eyes open just in case she leans forward too so you don’t hit heads. When you’re about 90% of the way to your girlfriend, stop and let her come to you. That way, you’re not forcing the kiss on her and she still has the option to say no. [9] X Research source- Leaning in for the kiss can be one of the most nerve-wracking moments. Take a deep breath beforehand and act confident. No matter how it goes, know that it will be okay.
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Tilt your head to the side. After you lean in and she comes up to meet you, turn your head at an angle so your noses don’t bump into each other. That way, you’ll be able to kiss her a lot easier without anyone getting hurt. [10] X Research source
- Most people turn their head to the right, but you can tilt your head either direction. Just make sure your girlfriend tilts her head the opposite way.
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Kiss her gently on the lips. [11] X Expert Source Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019. Put your top lip against your girlfriend’s mouth. Her bottom lip should line up with your mouth. Open your mouth slightly and gently press your lips against hers. Lightly squeeze your lips together to complete your kiss. String a few light and slow kisses together to make the moment feel more intimate. [12] X Research source- Avoid using your tongue or using too much force when you’re first starting to kiss so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable.
- It can take a little while to get used to kissing someone, so be open and receptive to your girlfriend.
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Pull away after a few seconds to leave her wanting more. After a few kisses, slowly lean back so you’re slightly separated from your girlfriend. Look her in the eyes and smile to let her know that you enjoyed the kiss. If it seems like you both want to kiss more, catch your breath before leaning back in for another kiss. [13] X Research source
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Tell her something flattering afterward to break any tension. It may feel a little awkward after your kiss since you won't know what to say. Rather than sitting in silence, just give your girlfriend a compliment to make the moment feel even better. Let her know how good you're feeling as well so you can enjoy each other. [14] X Research source
- For example, you can say something like, "You look so pretty tonight," or "I'm so glad I get to spend time with you."
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Caress her with your hands. As you’re kissing, avoid letting your arms hang down limply at your sides. Instead, try running your hands down her back, along her leg, or on her hips. You can also cup her face in your hands, play with hair, or hug her tightly to feel more connected. As you get more comfortable kissing, pull her body closer to yours. [15] X Research source
- Respect your girlfriend’s personal space. If she doesn’t like being touched in a certain place or pulls away, don’t try to force anything.
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Kiss her face or neck for something more playful. After kissing her lips a few times, pull away and try giving her a kiss on the cheek, nose, or forehead. If you want to make things a little more intimate, kiss your girlfriend’s neck a few times. As you’re kissing her, keep hugging her tightly so you’re close together. [16] X Research source
- Be careful not to kiss or suck on one spot for too long, or else you’ll leave a hickey.
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Use your tongue if you want to make the kiss intimate. As you’re kissing her, stick your tongue out slightly so it goes into her mouth. Move the tip of your tongue around to run it around her lips or play with her tongue. As you both get more comfortable, stick your tongue in a little further to kiss her deeper. [17] X Research source
- Using your tongue can make the kiss wet and a little messy. Mix up using tongue with quick regular pecks so you don’t spread as much saliva.
- Only use your tongue if you’re comfortable with it.
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Bite her lip gently to add some passion. As you’re going in for a kiss, lightly pinch her bottom lip between your teeth and squeeze gently. Let go of her lip at the end of the kiss so she knows you’re ready to keep progressing. Take turns biting each other’s lip while you’re kissing. [18] X Research source
- Be careful not to close your mouth tightly, or else you’ll hurt your girlfriend.
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Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series
Are you worried about having a bad kiss? These expert articles will build your confidence and help you avoid awkward situations.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I kiss my girlfriend more romantically?Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."If you want to be playful during your kiss, ask her to close her eyes first. When she closes her eyes, lean in for your kiss.
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Tips
- Even though kissing may seem stressful at first, just relax and let it come naturally. If you try to overthink it, you won’t have as much fun! [19] X Research sourceThanks
- Your girlfriend may not be comfortable with a kissing technique you’ve used with another person. Stop if she pulls away and openly communicate about what you both prefer. [20] X Research sourceThanks
- Try practicing kissing on your hand or a soft piece of fruit if you feel too nervous to try it with your girlfriend right away.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- When you go in for that first kiss, start nice and slow. Gently press your lips to hers for a few seconds. It shows you care and aren't rushing into anything. After, look into her eyes, smile, and see how she reacts before deciding if you should go for another kiss.
- Don't let friends pressure you into physical stuff before either of you are ready. Move at your own pace based on your comfort levels. Waiting for the right moment makes a first kiss really special. Be confident in your decisions.
- Choose the right moment, like at the end of a date when you have privacy and intimacy. Avoid kissing publicly at first, as it can make you both feel awkward. Wait for a special moment just between you two.
- Use your hands respectfully during the kiss to show affection. For example, lightly hold or caress her face or hips. But avoid private areas until you know she's okay with being touched there.
- Before kissing, make sure you both have fresh breath. Brush your teeth or chew some gum. Apply lip balm too for soft, kissable lips. Good hygiene makes it much more enjoyable for both of you.
- If she seems hesitant or pulls away, don't force it. She may just feel shy or nervous. Say something reassuring and try again later when she's more comfortable. Let things happen naturally.
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Warnings
- Do not be pushy or forceful if your girlfriend doesn’t want a kiss. Always get consent before you kiss someone.Thanks
- Kissing can spread bacteria and infection, so avoid doing it if either of you are sick. [21] X Research sourceThanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/75_dating_list.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201111/why-we-kiss-and-how-do-it-right
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-kiss-well
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/how-to-kiss-a-girl-kissing-techniques-for-men.html
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/75_dating_list.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/one-true-thing/201508/seven-tips-kissing-you-mean-it
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/75_dating_list.html
- ↑ https://www.teenissues.co.uk/firstkisstips.html
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201111/why-we-kiss-and-how-do-it-right
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201111/why-we-kiss-and-how-do-it-right
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/75_dating_list.html
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/75_dating_list.html
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-kiss-well
- ↑ https://www.mensxp.com/relationships/sex/41745-if-you-re-tongue-tied-then-these-7-easy-techniques-explain-how-to-use-your-tongue-while-kissing.html
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/how-to-kiss-a-girl-kissing-techniques-for-men.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/one-true-thing/201508/seven-tips-kissing-you-mean-it
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/how-to-kiss-a-girl-kissing-techniques-for-men.html
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/kissing-and-your-health
About This Article
Article Summary
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When you kiss your girlfriend, lean your head close to hers and tilt your head so your noses aren’t bumping into one another. As you go in for the kiss, line up the space between your lips with her bottom lip. Keep your lips loose as rather than puckered tight. Once the kiss is finished, gently caress her cheeks and smile. If you two are comfortable with a regular kiss, try a French kiss. To learn more about kissing etiquette and how to prepare for a kiss, read the article below!
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