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Use flirty body language and conversation cues to show your feelings
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You don't have to lay it all out on the line to get that guy you like to ask you out. There are loads of ways to drop casual, not-too-subtle hints that tell him you’re interested, and also to make him more interested in the process. We spoke to Dating coach Julianne Cantarella to show you ways to flirt with your body language, as well as how to get closer to him by spending time together and talking with him.
Things You Should Know
- To hint to a boy that you like him, make and hold eye contact with him for about 3 seconds at a time so he notices you (and notices your interest in him).
- Laugh at his jokes and give him brief, casual touches on the arm to initiate small bits of physical contact, which is sure to get his attention.
- Ask him to do you a small favor or ask for his advice. This helps to flatter him and is also proven to make him like you more.
Steps
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Make eye contact with him as much as possible. Whenever the two of you are talking, always look him in the eye. Dating coach Julianne Cantarella says to “hold [eye contact] for more than 3 seconds” to really get the message across. [1] X Expert Source Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 August 2021. It shows that all of your attention is fixed on him.- When someone else says something funny, try to catch his eye again while you laugh. The eye contact will make him feel like you two are sharing the joke.
- Avoid staring at him from across the room, which can come across as a bit creepy. Instead, if your eyes happen to meet, give him a small smile and then look away.
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Laugh at his jokes to show him you like his humor. It’s tempting to laugh at every single thing he says, but try to laugh only when it's clear he's trying to be funny. Make sure it sounds natural so it doesn't seem like you're faking it. If he's trying to make a joke that isn't very funny, offer him a smile so he sees you're enjoying listening to him, anyway.
- Don't feel like you have to laugh at a joke you find offensive. It's more important to stick to what you believe in than to make him feel good about himself.
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Sit close to him to grab his attention. When you have the opportunity, pull your chair close to his or scoot closer to him on a bench. Try to get just inside his “personal zone,” which is about 18 in (45 cm) away. Don't get too much closer than this, unless you notice signs that he likes it, like if he leans into you. [2] X Research source
- If he leans away, you may have gotten a bit too close. Scooch back a bit and let him have a little room.
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Touch him casually when talking or laughing. Dating coach Julianne Cantarella also recommends giving him a brief, light touch on the arm. [3] X Expert Source Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 August 2021. For example, if he says something funny, place your hand on his arm for a moment while you're laughing. Don't linger too long, though, since he may not want you just hanging on to him.- Also try letting out a small gasp, as if you just remembered something, and grabbing his arm or shoulder as you tell him what it is.
- Avoid touching his leg unless the two of you are close friends. This is a much more personal action that may come across too strong if you don't know each other well.
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Mirror his behavior to show you’re comfortable. “ Mirroring ” is when you follow someone’s lead in a conversation and match their general tone and vibe. Julianne Cantarella recommends doing it to the guy you like by “listening and kind of paraphrasing back to them what they've said,” and by matching his body language. [4] X Expert Source Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.- For example, if he says, “I love rock climbing,” show him that you’re engaged by saying, “Rock climbing? What’s that like?”
- Also, if he’s sitting back, relaxed, with his arms draped across his seat, you might take a relaxed position, too, by leaning on your elbow and crossing your legs.
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Smile at him when he walks into the room. Think about how good it feels when your friend spots you and gives you a big smile. It makes you feel appreciated, and like someone is happy to see you, right? Do the same for him! Whenever you notice him entering a room, see if you can catch his eye. If you do, give him a casual, friendly smile to say, “I’m glad you’re here.”
- You might also throw in a little wave or a cute peace sign to sweeten it up even more.
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Help him straighten up his appearance as an excuse to lightly touch him. Fix his collar, zip his jacket up the rest of the way, or tuck back a hair that keeps falling in his face. It’s a subtle but powerful way to act like you’re doing him a favor (because you are), while also getting physically closer to him.
- If you don’t know him very well, ask if you can do it, first. Say, “Hey, can I fix your hair?” Consent is key!
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Show up to his extracurricular activities. If he plays a sport or is in a band, go to one of his games or performances. Make sure you stick around for a while afterward to say hi so that he knows you were there. Showing your support for the things he works hard at will help get the message across that you're interested in him.
- Only go to things he told you about or are common knowledge. Avoid showing up to something that’s otherwise private.
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Lend him a book or movie. If there's a book or movie that you really enjoyed, ask him if he's read or seen it. If not, lend it to him and tell him you want to know what he thinks of it. This will show you were thinking of him, and it will give you a good excuse to talk again, and a conversation starter the next time you see him. [5] X Research source
- If it's a movie, you could also invite him over to watch it with you. This is a good casual way to find out if he wants to spend extra time with you.
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Bring him food or a drink he likes. Does he have one snack or beverage that you always see him with? Maybe there's a certain soda he drinks every afternoon, or he's constantly eating potato chips. If you know you're going to see him, show up with two snacks—one for him and one for you. That way, it looks like you thought of him, but not that you went out of your way just to get it for him.
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Ask him to teach you something. For example, if he plays video games, ask if you can come over to his place sometime so he can teach you how to play. If he plays golf, tell him you want to learn how to swing a club. The request will flatter him and buy you an opportunity to get closer to him. [6] X Research source
- If he says no but doesn't have a good reason, this may be a sign that he doesn't return your feelings.
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Spend time with his friends to get to know him better. Invite him and his friends to hang with you and yours, or ask if you can tag along on an outing with his friend group. His friends are like his trusted advisors, so put on your best face for them. If they like you, then his opinion of you will go up, too.
- Just be sure to give him the majority of your attention while you hang out in a group.
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Ask him to tell you about his interests. Dating app founder Cher Gopman says that one big mistake is talking too much about yourself. [7] X Expert Source Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Instead, focus the conversation on him by asking him open-ended questions about how he spends his time. Whether he's into sports, video games, movies, or books, show him you have an interest in the things that make him who he is.- Also, do a little research into them so you have something to add to the conversation. You don’t need to know a lot, just enough to ask a question, like, “So is that the second or third movie in the series?”
- All that said, a conversation is a 2-way street, so don’t hesitate to talk about yourself, if and when he asks.
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Follow up on things you've talked about before. Dating coach Julianne Cantarella suggests showing him that you pay attention to what he says by mentioning it in conversation. [8] X Expert Source Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 August 2021. When you see him, ask him about something you discussed the last time you were together. If he said he had a big math test coming up, ask him how he did on it.- Or, if he mentioned his dog was sick, ask something like, "Hey, is Bella feeling any better today?"
- This not only shows that you care enough to remember your conversations, but that you also care enough to follow along with his life as it develops.
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Give him a small compliment each time you see him. If he shows up wearing a shirt that looks new, or he seems more dressed up than usual, tell him he looks nice. Or, if he has a favorite t-shirt he wears a lot, tell him you like it with a simple, "That's such a great shirt." Giving a brief, genuine compliment does wonders for bringing you closer.
- Compliments don't always have to be about appearances. Also compliment things like his taste in music, scores on exams, or the artwork he makes.
- Avoid showering him with constant compliments. One or two per conversation is plenty.
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Tell him a small secret to gain his confidence. It’s like a shortcut to making him feel close to you. [9] X Research source Make it small enough to not actually matter, like, “I forgot to study for the test,” or, “Don’t tell anyone, but I earned a free drink at the cafe. Want it?”
- When you do, lean in close and whisper it in his ear, which feels more intimate.
- Just make sure your secret is true, and not malicious. Otherwise, it might spread around, or you might get caught in a lie.
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Ask him if he’s single. This is one of those not-so-subtle signals that tells him you’re interested. Say something like, “Do you have a partner?” or, “Is there anyone you like?” It steers the conversation toward romance and also lets him know that you’re interested in his relationship status.
- If he does have a partner, it’s best to back off for a while, out of respect. Otherwise, you have a green light to keep flirting.
- If he says he’s into someone other than you, don’t worry! There’re are plenty of opportunities to catch his eye and make him come around.
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Interact with him on social media. Social media is great for dropping hints, even when you’re not hanging out in person. Find and follow his accounts, like on Instagram, TikTok, or Twitter, and drop a like or a comment when he posts something to make him think of you, even when he’s doing other things. [10] X Trustworthy Source Pew Research Center Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends Go to source
- Avoid going back into his history and liking all his old posts. Keep it casual by only liking them as he posts them.
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Ask for his advice or a favor to get closer to him. Showing him you trust and respect his opinion is a good way to hint that you like him. Ask him something trivial, like, “What movie should I watch this weekend?” or something more serious, like, “How should I deal with this fight with my friend?” Or, ask him to do a small favor or help you out with something , like reminding you of the homework or walking or driving you home. [11] X Research source
- Both of these give him an opportunity to help out, which makes him feel good. Studies also show that doing favors for people makes you like them more.
- If you take his advice, be sure to follow up with him later to tell him how it went.
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Text him about something that reminded you of him. Find a funny photo or gif and text it to him, saying “This made me think of you.” You'll show him not only that you think of him while you're apart, but also that you like him enough to share your happiness with him.
- It doesn't have to be funny. Pick an interesting article online and send him the link, saying something like, “This reminded me of our conversation yesterday.”
- It could also be something that happened to you, like a fun or strange interaction that you wish he saw. Say, “The wildest thing just happened to me and I have to tell someone…”
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Tell him that you like him directly! Boys aren’t always the best at picking up hints. If all else fails, don't be afraid to just be honest and tell him that you like him . Try simply saying, “Hey, I really like you. Do you want to go out sometime?” Or, you might be a little less direct and say something like, “I really like spending time with you. Can we hang out more?”
- Or, text him your feelings if you find it easier. You might say, “Hey, I like being around you. Are you open to something more than friendship?” or, “I can’t stop thinking about you, so I’ll just say it: I really like you!”
- You could ask a friend to tell him that you like him for you.
- If he says no, don’t worry and stay casual! Say something like, “Never hurts to ask,” then smile and start talking about something else, or say, “Worth a shot,” and excuse yourself.
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Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Don't be afraid to be yourself in front of him, and definitely don't change your personality into one you think he'll like. You won't be happy, and he's not worth it if he doesn't like the real you.
- Give him some opportunities to help you out by dropping your pencil in front of him or following him through a door so he can hold it for you.
- Make cute nicknames for each other. Like, if he likes Batman call him Batman. If you like Superwoman tell him to call you Superwoman.
- Get his number by asking him to text you info about something he likes, or about an assignment.
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References
- ↑ Julianne Cantarella. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
- ↑ http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
- ↑ Julianne Cantarella. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
- ↑ Julianne Cantarella. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
- ↑ http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
- ↑ Julianne Cantarella. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
- ↑ http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
About This Article
Article Summary
X
Hinting to a boy that you like him is all about flirting with him, hanging out with him, and showing an interest in the things he likes. Try to make lots of eye contact with him and smile whenever he’s around. Laugh at his jokes when he says something funny. You can also touch his arm lightly when you talk or laugh. Compliment him on the things you like about him and ask him about the things he’s interested in, like sports, video games, or bands he likes. The more interest you show in him, the more he’ll pick up that you like him. Just remember not to hang around him all the time or be too nosy, so you don’t scare him off. For more tips, including how to show a boy you like him through text or social media, read on!
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- "It all pretty much helped because some of those tips worked. The guy that I like and I are together now and in a happy, healthy relationship. There was no specific tip that helped me, they were all awesome." ..." more
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