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Talking with your boyfriend is a great opportunity to grow closer to him. As you and your boyfriend converse, ask follow-up questions to dive deeper into the discussion. You and your boyfriend can talk about anything together: dreams, ideas, goals, and more immediate things like what you ate for lunch. Making conversation with your boyfriend is fun and easy as long as you’re open and honest, so don’t hold back.
Steps
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Ask your boyfriend about his hobbies. If your boyfriend is in a band, for instance, show interest in it by asking him about how band practice went after it ends. If he enjoys gardening, ask him what plants he is growing this season and check with him intermittently about the garden’s growth.
- Other subjects your boyfriend might be interested in include football, skateboarding, automobiles, surfing, exercise and fitness or electronics, among others.
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Ask him how his friends are. For example, you could ask, "What's new with Mike?" or “Did Carlos ever get that guitar amplifier he was talking about?” Showing interest in the people your boyfriend cares about indirectly shows interest in him, too.
- Don’t be afraid to ask about your boyfriend’s friends’ problems. For instance, if one of his friends recently ended a relationship, you could ask, “So, how is Cynthia handling the breakup?”
- Next time you’re with his friends, refer to some of the amusing or interesting stories he shared about them.
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Talk about your shared interests. If you and your boyfriend are both passionate about a certain band, you could say, “I love this new record. Have you heard it?” or “What is your favorite song from that new album?” If you’re both passionate about literature, you could make conversation with your boyfriend about a book you’re reading, or talk to him about joining a book club. [1] X Research source
- You might also be able to engage in conversation with your boyfriend by talking about a shared political ideology or religious belief, or a love of cooking, motorcycles, or something else entirely.
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Find out what your boyfriend is passionate about. Ask your boyfriend, “What is the one thing you could never live without?” or “What do you want to do with your life?” Broad questions like these can kick-start a great conversation and help you understand what drives your boyfriend.
- Follow up on these questions by asking why he is so passionate about the thing that drives him.
- Prompt him to think deeper about where his passions come from. For instance, you might ask, "Do you think this has to do with your upbringing?"
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Ask your boyfriend to tell you two interesting things about his day. Sometimes people get into regular schedules that seem uninteresting to them, but could be interesting to you, and vice versa. Asking for at least two interesting things will inspire your boyfriend to step back and look more closely at his day.
- Additionally, ask your boyfriend how he felt about the two interesting things.
- If it’s not obvious to you why the two things your boyfriend named are interesting, ask him why he found them interesting.
- If he has trouble naming two interesting things, help him out by asking, “Where did you eat lunch? What did you have?”
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Share a news story that made an emotional impact on you. If you’ve recently heard a very happy or very sad news story, share it with your boyfriend. For instance, if a mine collapsed and the miners were miraculously rescued, share it with your boyfriend. You could say, “Did you hear the good news about the miners? I’m really thankful they have been rescued.” [2] X Research source
- Encourage your boyfriend to discuss other recent developments in current events by asking him, "What events did you see in your newsfeed today?"
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Ask your boyfriend how a memorable family member is doing. For instance, if his aunt is known to say or do outrageous things, ask, “So, how is our dear Aunt Linda?” Keep the conversation going by comparing how your boyfriend’s mom and your mom, for instance, are getting on. [3] X Research source
- Even if your boyfriend hasn’t seen his family in a while, you could bring them up anyway. Reminiscing about funny family-related memories is a great way to bond.
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Choose a private, quiet setting for serious conversations. A noisy bar or party might be fine for casual, lighthearted conversation, but you should talk about more intimate matters in a different setting. The best time will vary depending on the preferences of you and your boyfriend, but a quiet room at home in the evening is probably best. [4] X Research source
- If you don’t want to have discussions at home, you could meet with him in a private cafe booth or a library study room.
- Avoid discussing serious topics online or via text messages. It's too easy to have a misunderstanding when you can't see each other's facial experiences or hear the tone of voice.
- There’s no “right” time to have a more serious conversation. In some relationships, you won’t have serious conversations for several months, while in others, you will have serious conversations after a few years.
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Discuss where you’ll both be in 5 years. This gives you and your boyfriend the chance to imagine your short-term future plans together. If your boyfriend is struggling to imagine that far ahead, share your vision for where you want to be 5 years on.
- Offer your advice for how he can best achieve his dreams.
- Guiding your boyfriend through a conversation about how he can achieve his ambitions will strengthen your relationship and make him realize that you are a great source of wisdom.
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Ask your boyfriend what baby names he likes if you're in a serious relationship. This is a simple way to get him to discuss having kids. Choose a handful of both boy and girl names. For instance, you might ask him, “Do you like the name Ophelia?” or “If we had a son, what would his name be?” [5] X Research source
- You could also ask follow-up questions like who you could name as the child’s godparents.
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Start a conversation about marriage by being direct about it. Talking about marriage shouldn’t be awkward, so use a direct approach to break the ice. Ask your boyfriend if he’d like to get married some day, then ask follow-up questions about why he would or would not be interested in marriage. [6] X Research source
- Ask additional questions about where he would like to get married, whether he would like to move to a new place after getting married, and so on.
- Dive deeper with questions about who his best man would be and how many people he would like to invite to the wedding.
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Don’t pressure your boyfriend into talking about things he doesn’t want to discuss. Sometimes even a simple question like “What have you been doing today?” can seem exhausting or irritating. If your boyfriend indicates that he doesn’t want to talk about a specific topic or doesn’t want to talk in general, don’t prod him.
- Conversations with your boyfriend should, as much as possible, be pleasant and not forced.
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Questions to Make Conversation
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I create an interest in me? We just too opposite of each other.Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).You can start by asking about his interests. This way you can get to know him better. You can then bring up some of your interests after he has discussed his. After asking him some questions, you can then talk with him about asking you questions about yourself and your interests. The back and forth is a nice way to start.
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QuestionWhat are the common questions I can ask my boyfriend?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).Re-read the WikiHow article, "Make Conversation with Your Boyfriend." It contains a lot of good ideas on where to start. Beginning with something he has a strong interest in is always nice. If you don't know his interests, you can ask "What are you most passionate about?"
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Tips
- If you're feeling nervous about talking to your boyfriend, sparking a conversation can be as simple as complimenting him. For instance, saying "Nice sneakers," can lead to a conversation about his hobbies or role models.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- While it's nice to have things in common with your boyfriend, you don't have to agree about every little thing. State your own thoughts or opinions about a subject to make good conversation.
- Ask him simple get-to-know-you questions to make easy conversation. For instance, ask about his favorite sport, favorite color, or favorite food.
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References
- ↑ http://youqueen.com/love/relationships/things-to-talk-about-with-your-boyfriend/
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=S21eCwAAQBAJ&lpg=PP1&pg=PA12#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ http://youqueen.com/love/relationships/things-to-talk-about-with-your-boyfriend/
- ↑ https://maryhartley.com/how-to-pick-the-best-place-for-a-difficult-conversation/
- ↑ https://www.stuckonyou.com.au/blog/agree-baby-name-partner/
- ↑ https://www.yourtango.com/experts/michael-regier/when-to-talk-about-marriage-with-your-boyfriend-girlfriend-how-to-have-the-conversation
About This Article
Article Summary
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To make conversation with your boyfriend, focus on what he likes doing, things you've experienced during the day, or common interests you both have. For example, ask him about his hobbies, such as band practice or gardening. Ask him how things are going with his friends, since showing interest in the people he cares about also lets him know you care about him. If you both have common interests, like a band or reading, talk to him about them. For example, you could say, “I really like their new record. What’s your favorite album they’ve made?”. When you’re trying to make conversations about your day more exciting, ask him to tell you 2 interesting things that happened. Then, talk to him about how these things made him feel. Try sharing a news story you heard that had an impact on you, whether it made you sad or happy. For tips on how to start conversations about more intimate matters, like your plans for the next 5 years, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "With this help, my boyfriend and I have more conversation starters and rarely are frozen, not knowing what to say."
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"With this help, my boyfriend and I have more conversation starters and rarely are frozen, not knowing what to say."
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