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College is exciting and scary all at once. You have tons of freedom, but you’re also in a new environment surrounded by hundreds of complete strangers. Making new friends requires conscious effort, but it’s totally doable. Take a deep breath and get out of your comfort zone. After all, you can’t make friends sitting in your dorm room. Strike up conversation with classmates, invite people to hang out, and get involved on campus. Make sure you keep an open mind and stay true to yourself along the way.
Steps
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Get to class early and strike up conversation. Getting to class ten minutes early can give you time to settle in and chat with your fellow classmates. Yes, talking to new people can be scary, but making friends is worth being a little uncomfortable. Comment on a homework assignment, something going on at school, or an especially eccentric professor. [1] X Research source
- Say something like, “What did you think of the reading last night?” or “I heard this professor loves cold-calling. I’m kind of nervous!”
- Every time you find yourself sitting next to a stranger in class, introduce yourself. [2] X Research source
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Invite people to hang out. You shouldn’t wait for others to come to you. Take initiative and ask people in your classes or dorm to grab meal, get ready for a party together, or head to the gym. Don’t worry--asking people to hang out doesn’t make you look weird or desperate for friends. Putting yourself out there is necessary to build connections, and chances are, other people will appreciate the effort. [3] X Research source
- Doing daily activities together, like eating, studying, or working out, is a great way to work socializing into your busy schedule.
- If you’re not into partying, invite people over to your dorm for a movie night or an old school slumber party.
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Try to talk to one new person every day. You can start a conversation anywhere. Chat up the girl beside you in the elevator or the guy taking his clothes out of the dryer next to yours. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find some great friends. [4] X Research source
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Keep your room door open. Keeping the door open while you hang out in your room gives your dorm mates the OK to pop in and say hello. Wave and smile at people as they pass. You could even offer snacks - no college student will refuse free food. [5] X Research source
- Only keep your door open while you’re in the room. Lock it when you leave to avoid theft.
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Go to campus events. You can’t make friends when you’re cooped up in your dorm room all day. Get dressed, take a deep breath, and head to a football game, a dance, a party, or a campus festival. There could be lots of potential friends at these events. Plus, staying up to date with campus events can give you more to talk about with your peers. [6] X Research source
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Do your homework in social spaces. Of course, during exam time you may need to buckle down at the library, but in calmer times, try doing your homework in the student union or a coffee shop. Sit down next to a friendly-looking student and start a conversation. [7] X Research source
- You could ask for a coffee recommendation or a spare pencil. Say something like, “Hey, I’ve never been here before and I’m torn about what to order. What drink do you usually get?”
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Say yes to invitations. If someone invites you to coffee, lunch, or a party, say yes! While you shouldn’t do anything that goes against your value system, it’s important to get out of your comfort zone in order to meet new people. [8] X Research source
- If you’re not a huge partier, don’t feel pressured to attend tons of frat parties or drink. You can bond with people in other ways.
- Try to give everyone a chance. Avoid judging people. While you should never do anything you're uncomfortable with, you may be surprised by who ends up becoming your friend!
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Eat dinner in the same dining hall every night. Instead of eating at your dorm room desk, hit up the dining hall! Make an effort to get to know the other people who frequent your dining hall. Don’t be afraid to sit down next to someone new or start a conversation at the dessert bar.
- Introduce yourself by saying, “Hey, I’m Jack. I think I’ve seen you around a few times. I live in the dorm right next to the dining hall.”
- Make a comment about the food. If the hamburgers look a little questionable, nudge the person next to you and say, “What do you think about the burgers? Should I go for one or steer clear?”
- If you don’t have a meal plan, invite hall mates over to cook dinner together or have a potluck-style feast.
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Join a club. Check with the Office of Student Engagement or your college’s website to see your options. You’ll probably find academic clubs, pre-professional clubs, cultural clubs, performing arts clubs, and volunteer clubs. Join one that sounds cool, and get ready to meet lots of people with common interests. [9] X Research source
- If your school doesn't have a club that you’d like to see, be bold and start your own! You may want to form a club related to your favorite art form or a unique academic interest.
- Don’t take on more responsibilities than you can handle. If you’re a freshman, it’s especially important to give yourself time to adjust to college life. One club is fine. Three clubs could get very overwhelming very quickly.
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Join a sports team. You can join an intramural team, which are pretty casual. These are great if you want to try out a new sport. For a more intense experience, join a competitive club team on campus. There’s nothing like competing, sweating, and maybe even winning together to foster new friendships. [10] X Research source
- If you don’t want to commit to a team, join a pickup game a few times a week or take a regular class at the gym.
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Volunteer. If there’s a cause that’s close to your heart, see what volunteer opportunities are available. Your college may have a few volunteer organizations or be able to connect you with local opportunities. Volunteering is a great way get out of the college bubble, give back, and meet some like-minded people. [11] X Research source
- Look for on and off-campus volunteer opportunities. Don’t see anything you like? Organize your own project!
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Get a job that involves lots of socializing. Consider working as a peer tutor, a waitress, or a sales associate. Not only will you make some cash to help cover all those college expenses, but you’ll also be able to bond with your coworkers, and maybe even a few clients! [12] X Research source
- You can meet tons of students through on-campus jobs. However, if you’re looking for some fresh faces, consider getting a job off-campus.
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Join a fraternity or sorority. Greek organizations are not for everyone, but they can offer a great sense of community. Consider rushing if this community appeals to you. Remember, if you don’t like it, you can always deactivate. [13] X Research source
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Start a study group. Send out an email to your dorm or round up people in your class. Dealing with difficult material together--and maybe one or two crazy professors--is a fast way to bond. Plus, your grades may get a boost! [14] X Research source
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Be an RA. If you’re an upperclassman, you may have the opportunity to be an RA, or resident assistant. RAs provide academic, social, and personal support to members of their residence hall. As an RA, you’ll have a chance to connect with your fellow RAs and the students in your charge.
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Get involved in a religious community. Religion may have been a big part of your life before college. Joining a religious community can help you stay connected to your religion while meeting people who share your faith. If your campus doesn’t have the community you’re looking for, see what’s available off-campus. [15] X Research source
- Making friends in college involves being open, approachable, and proactive. Attend orientation events and clubs to connect with like-minded individuals. Engage in class discussions, study groups, and social activities, showing genuine interest in others' opinions and experiences. [16] X Research source
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Make yourself look approachable. When you’re feeling awkward or nervous, it’s tempting start scrolling mindlessly through your social media feed to look busy. However, this won’t invite people in. Instead, put down the phone and use relaxed, confident body language: smile, stand up straight, and make eye contact with others. You’ll look friendly and open.
- Avoid crossing your arms and looking at the ground.
- Avoid spending too much time on social media. While it is important to stay in touch with old friends, it is also a good thing to meet new people.
- Fake it ‘till you make it. Even if you feel awkward, using confident body language will give the illusion that you’re at ease.
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Be open to people different than you. College is a time to meet people with different backgrounds and identities. Don’t write someone off just because they aren’t similar to you or your high school friends. Keep an open mind, and you just might find a new best friend.
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Find a friend who is more social than you. Your college will be filled with an endless variety of people. Some of them will be shy, and others will be the life of the party. You should find a balance of friends, of course, but you should pick out at least one person, or even a few people, who have really great social skills, are excited to meet new people, and are always up to something fun.
- This will maximize your chances of meeting as many people as possible -- and of finding the few people who really matter to you.
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Stay true to yourself. You’ve probably heard this one countless times, but it bears repeating. After all, everyone is eager to make new friends quickly in college, so they may alter themselves to try to fit in. However, forcing a friendship usually doesn't work out so well. Be yourself for genuine, lasting connections. [17] X Research source
- Focus on your talents and strengths instead of your weaknesses. So what if you’re not so great at math? You’re a superstar in foreign languages!
- Take some time to think about your values and passions. What matters most to you? What do you want to accomplish in life?
- Remember, you can always find people who share your interests, values, and passions. Keep looking for ways to find like-minded people.
Brene Brown, Author & Professor of Social WorkPreserve your sense of self, always. "I feel like I belong everywhere I go, no matter where it is or who I’m with, as long as I never betray myself. And the minute I become who you want me to be in order to fit in and make sure people like me is the moment I no longer belong anywhere."
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How Can You Form High-Quality, Lasting Friendships?
Expert Q&A
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QuestionI have a friend group with about four friends, but I want to make a new group of friends. What do I do?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).Not sure what you mean by "changing my group?" It sounds kind of extreme to abandon the only four friends you have. Try to experiment with adding perhaps one new person to your friendship circle. Switching all your friends for all new friends will take some time. Think of it as a more gradual process.
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QuestionWhat if you are shy and don't know anyone? What should you do then?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).Certainly, approaching a new college might be more difficult if you are shy. But remember you are not the only shy person who is new! Try to think of every day and every new experience as a new opportunity to meet others. Be willing to make a change.
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Tips
- Sometimes embarrassing situations can actually be great bonding opportunities!Thanks
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Warnings
- Don’t expect to have a tight-knit friend group right away. It could take time to find your people, so be patient and have an open mind.Thanks
- Remember that you’re in college to get an education. Try to find a balance between your social life and academics.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.tun.com/blog/how-to-make-friends-in-college/
- ↑ https://shorelight.com/student-stories/how-to-make-friends-in-college-tips-for-international-students/
- ↑ https://www.tun.com/blog/how-to-make-friends-in-college/
- ↑ https://www.hercampus.com/high-school/7-unexpected-places-meet-your-college-friends
- ↑ https://collegeinfogeek.com/make-friends-college/
- ↑ https://www.tun.com/blog/how-to-make-friends-in-college/
- ↑ https://shorelight.com/student-stories/how-to-make-friends-in-college-tips-for-international-students/
- ↑ https://www.powerofpositivity.com/3-reasons-say-yes-often/
- ↑ https://www.tun.com/blog/how-to-make-friends-in-college/
- ↑ https://shorelight.com/student-stories/how-to-make-friends-in-college-tips-for-international-students/
- ↑ https://www.educationcorner.com/meet-new-people-in-college.html
- ↑ https://www.thoughtco.com/ways-to-make-friends-in-college-793431
- ↑ https://www.thoughtco.com/ways-to-make-friends-in-college-793431
- ↑ https://www.thoughtco.com/ways-to-make-friends-in-college-793431
- ↑ https://www.thoughtco.com/ways-to-make-friends-in-college-793431
- ↑ https://www.aiouedupak.com
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/click-here-happiness/201904/develop-authenticity-20-ways-be-more-authentic-person
About This Article
Article Summary
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To make friends in college, get to class early so that you have time to socialize with your classmates. Although talking to new people can be scary, try initiating conversation by saying things like, “I heard this professor’s a really tough grader. I’m a little nervous!” If the other person is responsive, ask them if they’d like to grab a meal or join you for a campus activity. Additionally, hang out in public spaces like the student union or a dining hall to meet as many new people as possible. For more advice from our Sociology reviewer, including how to make yourself look friendly and approachable, keep reading.
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"I really liked the remember-fact deal because it really makes you stand out besides remembering their name. Currently, I'll be entering my fourth week of college as a freshman Monday, and just wish I'd known about this earlier. It's too late now for me."
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