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Meeting your partner's parents for the first time can be a pretty nerve-wracking ordeal since you really want to make a great first impression. If you're looking for some advice to help you nail this crucial meeting, we've got you covered. Our handy list of tips can help you win over your SO's parents with ease and charm!

1

Do Your Homework

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  1. [1] What are their names and what do they prefer to be called? What do they do for work? Are they divorced? What are their passions? Ask your partner to share a few interesting family facts and find out if there are any hot-button topics to steer clear of. [2]
    • Your partner might find these questions a bit funny or silly, but you'll save yourself a lot of awkwardness by finding out these details in advance.
    • Do a little research of your own by checking out their social media accounts.
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2

Dress to Impress

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  1. First, consider the occasion: are you going to a fancy restaurant, an outdoor barbeque, or a casual dinner at their home? Once you know that, you can choose an appropriate outfit. You can’t go wrong with clean, wrinkle-free clothes that look sharp and fit well. [3] Some additional tips to help you out:
    • Skip outlandish, quirky, or revealing clothes. When in doubt, go conservative.
    • Err on the dressy side; overdressed is better than under-dressed.
    • Business casual attire (nice slacks, long-sleeved button-up, fitted blazer, and a tasteful piece of jewelry) works well in most situations.
    • If you still aren’t sure what to wear, ask your partner for help.
7

Mention Key-Details

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8

Compliment Them

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  1. [11] You usually can’t go wrong if you compliment them on their beautiful home or the delicious dinner they served. If they have amazing artwork hanging in the foyer, praise the pieces and ask about them. Don’t overdo it, though; nonstop compliments come off as insincere. [12]
    • You might say, “I love the greenhouse you have attached to your house! It feels like a tropical jungle in there."
    • You can always go the charming route and compliment the parents on how well they raised your partner.
    • Compliments can be nonverbal, too! For example, if they made dinner, ask for seconds.
10

Keep the Conversation Flowing

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  1. When they tell you something about themselves or answer one of your questions, build on that by asking follow-up questions to get more details. If you aren’t sure where to start, you can always ask questions about something interesting in the room or elsewhere in their home. [14]
    • For example, “That painting over the fireplace is absolutely gorgeous. Do you love collecting artwork?”
    • You might say, "Sarah tells me you lived in Germany for a year when you were in the military. I studied abroad in Germany last summer. Did you enjoy your time there?"
    • Avoid sensitive topics like religion and politics. Safe topics include classical music, jazz, wine, beer, cars, crafts, pets, gardening, and literature.
11

Answer Any Questions They Have

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  1. It's only natural for your partner's parents to be curious about you, so don't be surprised if they have some tough questions. They might ask about your plans for the future, including your intentions for your relationship. Just do your best to answer honestly and with an open, positive attitude. [15]
    • If they ask anything that's too private, it's fine to say something like, "I'm sorry, I'm not really comfortable talking about that. I hope you understand!" Then, give them a smile and change the subject.
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14

Connect with your partner during the visit.

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  1. Keep in mind that your partner is probably feeling a little nervous about this meeting, too. Every so often, address a comment or question to them, or even just glance over and give them a little smile. That will help them feel like things are going well—which may help their parents feel more at ease, too. [18]
    • Avoid going overboard with PDA while the parents are around, though. A little hand-holding is probably fine, or even a quick kiss on the cheek, but keep it family-friendly. [19]

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What should I know before meeting her parents?
    Shana Tibi
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Get some background info on her parents' cultural and religious norms and expectations. Make sure that you understand what's going to happen at the meet-up so you feel comfortable and prepared beforehand.
  • Question
    How do you start a conversation with your partner's parents?
    Shana Tibi
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Try to keep things light-hearted! You don't need to share your entire life story in the first meeting—that could get a little awkward. Try to think of your meeting like a first date; ideally, you want to make a good enough impression for a second date later on.
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      • Ghaliyah Cunningham

        Feb 24, 2018

        "Invite him to dinner the first time, maybe still practice holding hands or shared kisses."
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