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You can think of Facebook as your new local bar, or a party at a friend's house. You see a cute girl across the room -- or on your friend's Facebook wall, and you can't make eye contact or approach her, but there are a few things you can do to start picking her up right from the comfort of your own computer screen. If you want to know how to pick up girls on Facebook, just follow these steps.
Steps
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Make sure you have flattering photos. Don't start chatting with a girl on Facebook if you haven't updated your photo sharing widget since middle school. Before you start picking up a girl on Facebook, you should make sure that your photos are top notch and that you look pleasing, or at least like a nice guy. Don't put up a ton of photos with you and a million different girls unless you want to look like a player, and don't have a hundred photos of yourself being drunk or acting goofy unless you think that will appeal to the girl. always be patient with her just as you would be if you were spending time with her in real life.
- Just go through your photos and ask yourself "Would the girl I'm trying to pick up be into this?" If the answer is no, then delete the photos.
- Keep some "safe" photos of you hanging out with some girls to show that girls actually like hanging out with you; Just don't have any pictures where your doing anything too provocative with another lady -- or a few other ladies.
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Let her see that you have a social life. If you're trying to pick up, and get to know a girl through Facebook, then she needs to see that you're a legit guy. You should have a fair amount of Facebook friends, post interesting things on your wall, show that you're attending events,comment on people's photos, and have people comment on your links. Let the girl see that you're a fun guy and that other people actually like talking to you.
- If you only have ten Facebook friends and your wall hasn't been updated for a year, she'll get suspicious.
- Don't post too often. Only post just enough to be active. You don't want the girl thinking that Facebook is your life.
- Don't let her see that you're hitting on many girls on Facebook, even if you are. Be slick and keep your flirty messaging hidden, limited to chatting, or have private messages.
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Let your profile reveal what makes you special. While you shouldn't pour your heart out on Facebook, the girl should be able to browse your profile and learn a few cool things about you. If you're into a certain band, post a link to one of their songs on your wall; if you love surfing, have a few photos of you and your buddies hitting the waves. Let her see that you have many cool interests outside of Facebook.
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Find the girl. Look through your Facebook and find a cute girl who seems fun, single, and lives in your area. Ideally, it should be someone who knows some friends of yours, someone from your school, or someone who is in your extended social circle. Don't pick a girl who is a stranger. Make sure she's not in a relationship, and if you can see her photos, look out for photos of a possessive-looking guy with his arm around her.
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Friend her. If you're not friends with the girl yet, then you should ask her to accept you as a friend. Remember that a stranger will most likely not accept your friend request, and she may even be creeped out and block you. If you met the girl casually, then a friend request is okay, but if you just found her on someone else's profile and live on opposite sides of the country, it may be trickier to get her to accept your request.
- If you met the girl briefly but aren't sure if she remembers you, you can send her a quick message with your request. Don't come on too strong. Just say something like, "I had fun talking to you at Mike's party last week."
- If you see a cute girl posting on one of your friend's walls, then try to join the conversation. See if you can make a comment that she would like and try to get her to talk to you.
- Be aware that Facebook has a strict no-harassment policy. If you send the girl a friend request and she doesn't accept it, leave her alone. Don't bombard her with aggressive messages, or she'll report you to Facebook and could get your profile disabled for good.
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Check out her page. Once you're Facebook friends with the girl, you'll have access to her page, where you can find out a few things about her, depending on how active she is on Facebook. The more you know about her before you begin really trying to pick her up, the easier it will be to talk to her and spark her interests. Pay attention to the following things:
- See if you have any mutual friends. Check out your mutual friends or look through her photos to see whom she hangs out with. If you recognize one of the people, you can bring it up later -- in a natural way.
- Pick up on her hobbies. Go through her pictures, wall, and Facebook groups to see if you can tell whether she likes going to the beach, playing tennis, or just going to many loud and crazy parties.
- Check out her links. Does she link to the songs from Justin Timberlake's new album? Does she link to an article about Obama? See if you can notice more of her interests this way.
- Read her posts. Read the posts on her timeline to see if you can learn what she thinks about work or school, who her favorite basketball team is, or even what she's doing for the holiday weekend.
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Start communicating with her. Take it nice and slow. Don't send her a message telling her she's hot the second she agrees to be your Facebook friend. Instead, spend some time developing your Facebook friendships. First, like one of her statuses or photos if it's appropriate. Then, you can start commenting on her photos or statuses. Make sure she communicates back to you and likes your comments and that you're not having a one-sided conversation.
- Find the right time to start a longer conversation chain through comments. If she keeps writing back to you, then she must like talking to you.
- As your relationship grows, you can post a link on her wall to something you think she'd like. Only do this once and wait for her to reciprocate before you do it again.
- Don't mention that you know what her interests are from stalking her page. Just try to mention something that you've realized you have in common and wait for her to respond. For example, if you know she likes the Lakers, post about them and wait for her to like your status.
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Send her a message. Once you think she's feeling you and you've developed your posting and commenting relationship, you can take it to the next level by sending her a message. Just send her a few lines about something that reminded you of her, or direct her to a link you think she'd like. You can be a little flirtatious, but don't overwhelm the girl.
- Wait for her to respond. If she asks you questions, then she wants to keep the messaging thing going.
- Message her back. Once you do this a few times, then you can take this as a sign that she wants to take it to the next stage.
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Facebook chat with her. Once you've been messaging back and forth with the girl for a while, then you can start Facebook chatting with her to have a more normal conversation. Just remember that not everybody likes to Facebook chat or even uses it -- she could be logged on to Facebook on her phone or at work, and not even realize that you're chatting her until later because she uses it so infrequently. But if she's into chatting, this is a great way to build your relationship.
- Flirt it up. Now's the time to kick it up a notch. If she seems into you, you can say, "Hey, cutie," or "You looked great in that pic you just posted." Don't be too forward, but let her know you're into her.
- Talk about your common interests, or the things you know she likes. Remember all those things you learned about her from her profile? They'll come in handy here.
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Get her number (optional). You can message her and say that you like talking to her and would like to talk to her over the phone. This may freak her out and make her feel like you're coming on to strong, or it could be the perfect way for her to get to know you better before agreeing to go out with you in person. Feel her out to see what you think would be best.
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Ask her to meet up. Unless you're just flirting with the girl on Facebook for the fun of it, you probably want to meet up with her in person at some point. So, once you have a good messaging and chat relationship, just say something like, "I really like talking to you over Facebook, so I have a feeling I'd like talking to you even more in person. Do you want to meet some time?"
- Keep it casual. Don't ask her out to a candle-lit restaurant. Ask her out for coffee or a drink. If she doesn't know you at all outside of Facebook and you don't have many mutual friends, she may be wary of this, so keep it in a public place and as chill as possible.
- You can give her your number and wait for her to give you hers.
- Have fun. If she agrees to meet in person, then enjoy building a relationship outside of Facebook. Moreover, if she rejects you, it's no big deal. The beauty of Facebook is that you can pick up multiple girls at once.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat if you know the girl?Community AnswerTry to be noticed, but not in a strange way. Don't exaggerate with the flirting, but make her understand that you like her.
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Tips
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- You're the boss, you decide who you want to meet.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Remember, the harder you try, the harder you fail. Be yourself, and things will fall as they are meant to. As the old saying goes, if you have to force something, you're not doing it right.
- Many girls post TBH's, wall posts, and goodnight posts. Like one of her statuses and hope she posts on your wall. If she does, give her a simple thank you to start a conversation.
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Warnings
- Don't stalk any girls on Facebook. Yes, there is a difference between trying to meet a girl and stalking a girl.Thanks
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Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about dating, check out our in-depth interview with Christina Jay, NLP .
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