Expert Q&A for How to Apologize For Cheating on Your Partner

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Question

How do you get forgiven for cheating?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

The forgiveness is out of your control. It is up to the person who was cheated on; try not to be too impatient because it may take some time. Give the other person the time they need; it is a sign of respect. The other person might forgive you in time, but they might not. Don't be demanding about this. Acknowledge that you know you hurt them.

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Question

What percent of marriages stay together after infidelity?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

There are definitely people who can stay together. This is so private that it is hard to collect data since most do not share about infidelity. It can be very useful to see a couples therapist if both parties want to stay together.

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Question

What should I do if I cheated on my wife?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Be upfront about it. Don't wait until she finds out--that introduces a double layer of distrust. Hopefully, the affair is over when you tell her and be sure to let her know it is over.

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Question

How do you get over a husband who cheated?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Everyone is different. Some people can get over infidelity, and some can not. A lot will depend on if your husband acknowledges that he actually cheated and that he hurt you and tries to make amends to you. Don't bury your feelings.

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Question

Is my partner going to trust me again?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

It is up to you to rebuild the trust. But be aware that it will take time. Be consistent about arriving home when you say you will. Let your partner know your whereabouts. Follow through on commitments with your partner. Ask them directly, "How can I win your trust back?"

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Question

My lover is frequently getting depressed. How can I help him out after cheating on him?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You cannot control your partner's reaction to cheating. Just be there; be willing to listen; consider counseling as a couple. Make sure you know where you stand--are you done with the affair? Are you committed to your partner?

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