Q&A for How to Recognize and Avoid Brainwashing

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  • Question
    Is brainwashing necessarily a bad thing?
    Community Answer
    Yes. Anytime you are using mind control on a person to manipulate their thoughts, it is harmful. You are interfering with their free will.
  • Question
    Is there a way to reverse the effects of brainwashing?
    Community Answer
    Victims of brainwashing often develop executive and cognitive disorders because the associated skills have been de-patterned to make them less likely to disobey or question orders. In general, victims have been programmed to not value or trust themselves, but to instead grant highest trust and access to the abuser. The solution is to get the victim to trust and value himself again, and then replace the harmful programming through therapy.
  • Question
    Can I realize when I've been brainwashed?
    Community Answer
    Yes!! You no longer have opinions, thoughts, desires, or behaviors that are contrary to the leader. Then you can recognize mind control or brainwashing. When the desires of the leader are paramount, there is a problem. You are entitled to your own thoughts and beliefs. Once those are countermanded by an "authority" figure, you know you are no longer thinking for yourself.
  • Question
    Why do people brainwash other people?
    Community Answer
    To be in control and to have power over others. Most of the time it is to make up what they lack within themselves, which is positive self-esteem.
  • Question
    My husband was brainwashed after a work accident and was terminated. He then started a new job where he was brainwashed in an extreme religion and flat earth society in a matter of 2 months. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    First, try getting him to recall good times, before any of these incidents, when he was in control. Let him know that you miss those days and the person he was then. You could remind him of how good it was for him to be in charge, and praise the decisions that he made back then. Point out that when you want to make a joint decision now, you feel like you have to call his religious leader, and you would like it if he could make some decisions on his own.
  • Question
    What do I do if I believe my husband is brainwashing me? It's hard to get rid of it now.
    Community Answer
    Talk to someone about the specifics of your situation. An outside source may be able to give you some clarity. Ideally, this person should be a counselor/mental health professional.
  • Question
    What do I do if I believe my wife is brainwashing me and it is getting harder to break the abuse?
    Community Answer
    You must believe in yourself. Learn to be assertive and ask for what you want.
  • Question
    Can a brutal movie brainwash people to become brutal?
    Community Answer
    No. Brainwashing takes weeks, months or even years. One 2 hour movie will not do anything. However, you can become desensitized to violence, which makes you more aggressive.
  • Question
    How can I tell if I am being brainwashed by my pastor?
    Community Answer
    Recognize that the authority you and your pastor come under is God's word, the Bible. Know your Bible and its basic teachings and principles. Also, when you read it, pay attention to what it actually says (not necessarily what you've been told by your pastor); take into account its immediate context and the context of the whole Bible.
  • Question
    Our son is getting married in two weeks and we have a feeling that he is being brainwashed. What can we do?
    Community Answer
    You can have a calm and honest conversation with him, but in the end, your son is an adult and has to be allowed to make his own decisions, even if you do not agree with them.
  • Question
    What can I do if I feel I have been brainwashed by my husband?
    Community Answer
    Strive to obtain/retain an open mind. Listen to what is said and compare the words said to the actions taken. Watch and listen for contradictions in his words/actions but avoid your feelings/emotions when you get that feeling in your gut that something isn't right.
  • Question
    How do I deal with teachers trying to brainwashing me in class?
    Community Answer
    You have to determine if the teacher is lying to you when they give you information. Write down some of the opinions the teacher relates to you, research the opinions, and if they are untrue, you will have discovered that the teacher is lying to you. Teachers or people who want to influence you, or brainwash you, will tell you what they want you to believe, whether it's true or not. Every person is biased in one way or another, and personal biases are the easiest to identify, because they are usually expressed with certainty, or a "matter of factness."
  • Question
    How do I stop a school from brainwashing students?
    Community Answer
    Homeschooling is a great alternative to letting the system teach them.
  • Question
    How can I get away from the people who demotivate me?
    Community Answer
    Stop talking to them, stop listening to them, shut them out of your life. If it is at work or school, and you have to communicate with them, do so minimally. If they continue to hurt you, seek a higher authority in your workplace or school, if that authority doesn't listen to you, seriously consider leaving that environment––it may seem extreme, but it is nothing compared to the hell you might live otherwise.
  • Question
    Could elements of brainwashing be used in a positive way for a deeply depressed friend who has self destructive thoughts?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Brainwashing is not good. If you're trying to find ways to justify doing something not good, you're only adding to their problems, not helping. Depression takes as long to get out of as it did to get into. There are no shortcuts. It takes an understanding of how our thought processes work, how to recognize them and change them as they happen. One way to achieve that is by programming your mind through repetition to react differently. Which is different from brainwashing in that the one being programmed is either doing the programming or fully aware of it.
  • Question
    How do I know if I'm brainwashed?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    This is real headache-inducing thought, when you spend too much time on it. By definition, we cannot know. Perhaps we are living in the matrix? Perhaps we are in a simulation, or in a multiverse, or in someone else's dream. It can be unsettling when you realize you can never really know for sure. Thank goodness we live in a dream that has chocolate.
  • Question
    How do I save my ex from being brainwashed by another person?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    The key word here is 'ex'. Look, it's sad, but no one can help everyone else. Your ex is no longer your responsibility. Stop interfering in your ex's life and leave the person well and truly alone. If you do feel something illegal is going on, alert the police.
  • Question
    My daughter is a relationship with a controlling person; how can I get her out of it?
    Community Answer
    Keep uplifting her self esteem. Don't put the guy she's involved with down too much as she might then feel sympathy or misplaced loyalty towards him and feel the need to protect him. Just keep reinforcing her self confidence and point out what an amazing and talented person she is. She might then feel she deserves better or at least be able to stand up to him. If she's given the confidence to think for herself she'll be able to outsmart him.
  • Question
    I think my wife has been brainwashed. We were happy for up until about 12-18 months ago. After 10 years and 2 kids, she wants a life with some girl and not me. Not trying to let her go without a fight.
    Aarya Handa
    Community Answer
    I think in this case it may be either because she is struggling to find the new, exciting things in her life and is gradually becoming bored of what is happening around her. She may also be seeking and venturing out in terms of her sexuality as it may be a fresh experience for her, one that she has not encountered before. Sit down with her and talk, express your concern and remind her that your feelings are valid and that why she has chosen to get involved with some other girl in the first place, even knowing her current life and situation with 2 kids.
  • Question
    My mother brainwashed my daughter against me. Will my daughter be brainwashed for the rest of her life or just until my mother dies? Is there anything i can do to reverse her extreme brainwash?
    Dafkachild
    Community Answer
    It's called Parental Alienation Syndrome and it is indeed a form of brainwashing. Read up on it and continue to be consistent for your daughter so that she will see who is playing games and who is being loving and supportive. The truth always comes out in the end, just don't give up even if you hear nothing back. One day, she will know it all.
  • Question
    How can I help my daughter if she is miles away?
    Community Answer
    Depending upon your level of trust and reliability with her, seek to share news, events and thoughts with her that stir her critical thinking abilities. Do this whenever you communicate with her. Try to choose topics that you want to discuss and make them relevant to her, based on her life situation. Try not to tell but instead, ask her for her thoughts, ideas and opinions. When allowed to make her own decisions, this can help make her stronger and able to think for herself, under the right guidance. If you force her, she may resist and buckle down harder on her brainwashed beliefs.
  • Question
    What to do when a higher-up in your job is trying to brainwash you?
    Community Answer
    Don't give in to their attempts. When you know what they are doing, reduce communication with them. Focus on a particular task so they don't think that you are distancing yourself from them. See why they are doing it and see if it has any impact on you. It's best to be focused on work while at your job.
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