This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield
and by wikiHow staff writer, Ali Garbacz, B.A.
. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.
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On the surface, sigma males and alpha males share a lot of traits, yet they also seem to be worlds apart. They’re both confident, strong, and successful, but each has his own unique strengths and traits as well. We’re here to walk you through all of the distinctive characteristics of these two archetypes as well as their similarities. We’ll even give you tips about dating sigmas and alphas—so keep reading!
Things You Should Know
- Alphas are at the very top of the male socio-sexual hierarchy while sigmas don’t have a fixed place within the hierarchy.
- Alphas tend to be more extroverted, traditional, and aggressive while sigmas usually keep to themselves, think outside of the box, and have a calm disposition.
- Both alphas and sigmas are great leaders, courageous, and extremely motivated to achieve their goals, but sigmas do anything to achieve them.
Steps
What are sigmas and alphas?
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1Alphas are at the top of the male socio-sexual hierarchy. Powerful businessmen, organization leaders, and influential politicians often have alpha personalities. Men who fit this masculine archetype are often characterized as the dominant leaders of society, both in their work environment and social life. They are highly intelligent, confident, and often very successful in what they do. [1] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
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2Sigma males live outside of the hierarchy. Sigmas are a very special kind of archetype that doesn’t really fit into the rigid pyramid structure of the socio-sexual hierarchy. However, they are often placed on the same level as alphas due to their similar personalities. People often describe them as being “lone wolves,” and they’re most well known for going off to do their own thing instead of conforming to others’ expectations. But like alphas, they’re very confident, influential, and successful. They attract and do not chase. [2] X Research source
Differences
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1Sigma males are more introverted than alphas. Sigmas are known as “lone wolves” partly because they like to spend a lot of their time alone, but attract many who they must turn away. They tend to have a very small circle of close friends, and those who aren’t in a sigma male’s exclusive group tend to know very little about them. [3] X Research source On the other hand, alphas rely on having a big circle of friends and followers. When they succeed, they like to have someone they can share their success with. [4] X Research source
- Sigmas might come off as closed-off and cold, but the reality is that they are just looking for people that will offer them genuine friendship and support. It’s easy to surround yourself with fake friends out of fear of being alone, but sigmas prioritize quality over quantity.
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2Sigmas don’t care much for the hierarchy like alphas do. Since they’re at the top of the pyramid, alphas are keener to defend the hierarchy. In order to maintain their status as the top dogs, alphas need to keep their subordinates in line with rules and expectations. On the other hand, sigmas don’t care much for conforming to the norm. They’re more free-spirited and usually don’t care what others think about them. [5] X Research source
- Alphas are much more likely to play by the rules. Meanwhile, you can usually expect more out-of-the-box thinking from sigmas when it comes to problem solving.
- If you think about an office setting, an alpha leader would be more likely to choose to put employees who have worked at the company longer in charge of a project, since tradition often dictates that older staff get more responsibility.
- On the other hand, a sigma male leader might instead have staff members that are younger but have more diverse experiences take the lead. Sigmas are likely going to be more willing to break out of the traditional mold and try something new.
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3Alphas thrive in the spotlight while sigmas strive to be invisible. Recognition and being a role model are what really get an alpha energized. [6] X Research source Meanwhile, sigmas prefer to remain in the background. However, this doesn’t mean that they simply kick back and let others do their work for them. Sigmas are incredibly hard workers, but they don’t need others’ validation to feel good about themselves. They’re happy to remain unseen so long as they’re doing what they love. [7] X Research source
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4Sigmas are quiet observers while alphas are outspoken and opinionated. Going along with their more introverted nature, sigmas aren’t usually the type to start an argument or get into a heated debate. Instead, they prefer to quietly observe from the sidelines and take in as much information as possible. [8] X Research source However, alphas tend to have a lot of opinions and aren’t usually afraid to say them out loud. Alphas also usually don’t like being told that their opinions are wrong. [9] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Given their very observant nature, sigma males also tend to be more on the introspective side and are usually able to understand their own emotions pretty well.
- Alphas usually have a lot of thoughts and are very action-oriented, so they often don’t take the time to reflect on their own emotions and thoughts. This might make it harder for them to express themselves and be open with others.
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5Alphas tend to be aggressive while sigmas remain calm. Alphas are more likely than sigmas to snap at others and quickly become impatient when things don’t go their way. [10] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Sigmas are more like betas when it comes to controlling their emotions. In other words, they tend to be more patient when dealing with other people, and they keep a calm front rather than acting impulsively. [11] X Research source
- Instead of using aggression, sigmas usually have a very calm assertiveness that they use to get others to listen to them.
- Whereas an alpha leader might discipline his subordinates by giving them more work as a punishment, a sigma will likely take a more diplomatic approach and have a serious but fair talk with those underneath him.
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6Sigmas are more likely to listen to other people’s problems. Some alphas might become uncomfortable by their peers’ emotional outbursts, since they themselves often view emotions as a sign of vulnerability and weakness. Therefore, an alpha might not be the most patient when attempting to console someone. [12] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Sigmas are fairly good at reading people, and their tendency to just sit and observe make them excellent listeners. [13] X Research source
Similarities
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1Both sigmas and alphas make great leaders. Alphas naturally have a very commanding presence. People are usually drawn to them because of their imposing auras, and alphas are very comfortable taking on responsibilities that others might shy away from. [14] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Sigmas are one of the few archetypes to also be willing to shoulder such responsibility, though they lead more by example rather than sheer force. [15] X Research source
- As CEO, an alpha is more likely to turn to data and solid facts to lead his team in the right direction. Alphas tend to like when things are presented in easy-to-analyze graphs and charts that he can use to make decisions.
- Meanwhile, a CEO who’s a sigma might turn to his employees and open up a dialogue to figure out what he can do to improve his company. When he implements new rules, a sigma male will likely be sure to lead his colleagues by example and make sure he’s also following the rules well.
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2These types of males tend to not talk about their feelings. Opening up to others can be difficult for anyone, but alphas in particular don’t really enjoy appearing vulnerable in front of their peers. Oftentimes they simply don’t want to appear too soft since that can mess with their tough leader persona. [16] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Sigmas, on the other hand, are just very quiet in general and tend to not really talk about their feelings with others. [17] X Research source
- An alpha male might do his best to keep his feelings out of any big decisions he has to make. So instead of conferring with his colleagues and talking about what he personally wants, an alpha that’s a business manager might just choose to look at objective data and numbers.
- While sigmas might have a bit more of a difficult time opening up, they tend to be very in tune with their emotions. Sitting down with a sigma and asking lighthearted questions, talking about your passions, and asking for their opinions on certain matters might just help you get them to open up.
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3They are both fearless individuals. Both alphas and sigmas are courageous for taking the initiative to lead others toward success. Not everyone is fit to take on such big responsibilities, yet alphas and sigmas both handle the pressure with incredible grace. As the lone wolves of the pack, sigmas are also very brave for deciding to forge their own path, while alphas are courageous in their ability to constantly be in the public eye and face judgement every single day. [18] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
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4Sigmas and alphas are likely both reluctant to ask for help. Alphas are very proud individuals who often detest the idea of appearing weak in front of others. They usually think very fast and don’t set aside time to confer with others or ask for outside opinions. [19] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Sigmas, in true lone wolf fashion, would usually rather do things themselves rather than rely on others. They tend to feel a great sense of accomplishment from getting things done by themself. [20] X Research source
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5These archetypes are very self-motivated. Sigmas and alphas are both the type to set high goals for themselves and do whatever they can to achieve them. [21] X Research source While they may use different means to achieve these goals, both can show incredible focus and determination when it comes to completing what they’ve set out to do. [22] X Research source
- In order to achieve their goals, alphas often rely on having a large team of people to support them. On the other hand, sigmas usually prefer to work alone so that they can focus all of their energy on themselves and their goal.
Sigmas and Alphas in Relationships
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1Alphas often want someone who matches their energy and confidence. Alphas are very strong-willed and confident individuals. They usually like to be the decision-maker and often think their preferences will take priority. Therefore, they need someone who’s just as confident and can keep up with them. Someone who’s overly submissive might make an alpha feel like they’re doing all the work. [23] X Research source
- When you date an alpha , work on finding the perfect balance between being too dominant and too submissive.
- For example, let him take the lead when it comes to planning dates, but don’t be afraid to be blunt with him about what you do and don’t like.
- Or, an alpha male might be more for dividing chores based on traditional gender roles. If you’re comfortable with this, go ahead and let him do his thing. However, don’t hesitate to challenge him on some points and set boundaries if you feel uncomfortable with something.
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2Sigmas are laid-back but dedicated partners. If you go to a party, you’ll likely find a sigma male more on the outskirts of the crowd rather than right in the middle where the alphas tend to be. Sigmas have a reputation for being mysterious and a little distant, but they’re actually very attentive and compassionate partners. They usually know exactly what they want, and so will often look for a partner who is sure about what they want in a relationship. [24] X Research source
- Dating a sigma often requires a certain level of maturity. Sigmas don’t like to play games and don’t often care for petty arguments or misunderstandings.
- If you want to date a sigma, having good communication skills will help your relationship be so much smoother.
Expert Q&A
Tips
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References
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2004/05/coaching-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=15
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=96
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=395
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=25
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/alpha-males-and-females-in-relationships
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=425
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=222
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2004/05/coaching-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2007/10/unmasking-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://youtu.be/74oG0N_yN-c?t=20
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2004/05/coaching-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://eq.irisdating.com/sigma-males/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2004/05/coaching-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=142
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2004/05/coaching-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=222
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2004/05/coaching-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2004/05/coaching-the-alpha-male
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=685
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/alpha-males-and-females-in-relationships#characteristics-of-an-alpha
- ↑ https://youtu.be/SqtaV1NFFEQ?t=44
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/alpha-males-and-females-in-relationships
- ↑ https://eq.irisdating.com/sigma-males/
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