How to Stop Interrupting

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Even if you don’t mean anything by it, interrupting others can irritate them and make you seem selfish or disrespectful. If you have a habit of interrupting people when they speak, focus on listening mindfully and making a conscious effort not to speak out of turn. You can also enlist the help of friends or colleagues if you need occasional reminders not to cut in. When you are ready to speak, look for the right moment and take time to think about what you want to say.

How to Listen & Respond Politely

Listen mindfully to what the other person is saying and show you’re paying attention with eye contact and open body language. Wait a few seconds to make sure they’re done talking and look for cues it’s your turn to speak before jumping in. If you do interrupt, apologize quickly and let them continue.

Part 1
Part 1 of 2:

Becoming a Better Listener

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  1. Take a few moments to think about the situations where you tend to interrupt the most. Is it when you’re talking to particular people, or in certain types of conversations? What are you usually thinking, feeling, or trying to accomplish when you interrupt? Keep these factors in mind before entering a conversation so that you that you can be prepared to keep your urge to interrupt in check. [1]
    • For example, maybe you tend to interrupt when arguing with your significant other because you feel defensive and want to take control of the conversation.
    • In a setting like a work meeting, you may interrupt because you are eager to get your ideas heard right away.
    • Tell yourself something like, “I know I tend to talk over my friends a lot because I get excited and want to keep the fun going by cracking jokes and cutting in with funny stories. Next time, I’m just going to focus on listening and waiting until it’s the right time to speak.” [2]
  2. If you’re in the habit of interrupting others, you may find yourself cutting in or blurting something out before you even realize you’re doing it. Before starting a conversation, tell yourself, “I’m going to be quiet until they’re finished speaking.” [3] You can also remind yourself physically by:
    • Gently biting your tongue until you are ready to speak
    • Resting your finger against your lips as you listen
    • Taking 3 deep breaths whenever you feel the urge to speak
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  3. Listen mindfully to what the other person is saying. While the other person is speaking, focus your full attention on what they have to say. [4] If you’re spending the whole conversation planning what you want to say and looking for an opening, you won’t really absorb what they are trying to tell you. [5]
    • Listening is about more than just hearing. Focus on the other person’s words and think about what they are trying to convey. Watch them as they speak so that you pick up on their body language and other non-verbal cues.
  4. You may be tempted to show you are listening by cutting in with “cooperative interruptions,” such as finishing the other person’s sentences or offering affirmations (e.g., “Oh yeah, I totally get what you’re saying!”). [6] Instead, demonstrate that you are engaged by maintaining eye contact and using silent cues like nodding or shaking your head. That way, you won’t disrupt the flow of their speech.
    • It’s okay to use some verbal listening cues, but keep them short. For example, you could say “Mm-hmm,” “Yeah,” or “Right.”
  5. If you find yourself interrupting despite your best efforts, don’t beat yourself up about it. As soon as you realize you’ve interrupted, say something like, “Oh, I’m sorry. Go on.” [7]
    • Don’t apologize more than once or make a bigger deal out of it than you already have. The person you are talking to will likely recognize and appreciate that you are making the effort to listen better.
  6. If breaking the interruption habit is a real struggle for you, don’t be afraid to enlist the help of a friend, loved one, or colleague. Say something like, “Hey, I know I interrupt too much, and I’m trying to stop doing that. If you hear me interrupting, could you please say something?” [8]
    • If you’re getting help from someone you talk to one-on-one, like a partner or friend, you could ask them to use a verbal cue. For example, they might say, “Excuse me, I wasn’t finished,” or “Hey, you’re interrupting me again!”
    • For a situation like a work meeting, you might ask one of your coworkers to give you a more discreet signal, like shaking their head or tapping their lips to remind you to be quiet.
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Part 2
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Choosing When to Speak

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  1. If there’s something you absolutely have to say or ask during a conversation, write it down instead of blurting it out. This will help you keep track of what you wanted to say without interrupting the flow of conversation. [9]
    • Bring a notepad with you to important meetings so that you can jot down questions and comments.
    • If you’re using a smartphone or tablet instead of pen and paper, you might say, “I’m just going to take a few notes here.” That way, the other person won’t think you’re texting or playing on your device while they talk.
  2. Don’t assume that the other person is done speaking just because they’ve finished a sentence or stopped talking for a moment. They might be pausing for breath or formulating their next thought. Instead, look for cues like them turning to look at you pointedly or saying something like, “What do you think?”
    • If they stop talking and you’re not sure whether they’re done, wait 10 seconds before you speak. If they don’t say anything or if they prompt you to chime in, go ahead and talk. [10]
  3. If you’re still not sure whether it’s appropriate for you to chime in yet, politely ask the other person. You could say something like, “Do you mind if I say something?” or “May I ask a question?” You might even say, “Were you finished, or did you want to add something else?” [11]
    • Speak in a friendly, polite tone so that you don’t sound pushy or impatient.
    • If you’re in a group setting, such as a work meeting or a classroom, you could also use a non-verbal signal that you’d like to speak, such as raising your hand.
  4. Don’t rush to speak as soon as the other person is done. [12] Instead, pause for a second to think about what they said and come up with a response. [13] This will also give the other person a chance to clarify or add to what they’ve already said if necessary.
    • Think about whether what you want to say is helpful and relevant to the conversation.
    • If you need to, ask the other person for clarification before you respond. One way to do this is to rephrase what the other person said in your own words.
    • For example, “So, you’re saying you aren’t satisfied with the presentation we put together and you want to redo some of the visuals. Is that right?”
  5. While it’s best not to interrupt at all if you can avoid it, there are times when it’s necessary. If you must interrupt—e.g., if you misheard or misunderstood something, or if you have to cut the conversation short for some reason—start the interruption with an apology or a polite “Excuse me.” [14]
    • For example, if you think you misheard the speaker, say something like, “Excuse me, could you please repeat that last part? I didn’t catch what you said.”
    • If you have to interrupt because you’re running late for another obligation, try saying, “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I have to run to a meeting. Can we pick this up again next time?”
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Why can't I stop interrupting?
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Through her work, Nicolette helps high achievers discover their true potential and grow personally. She recently founded the non-profit Celestial Wellness Network and started a musical project, The Feather and Stone. With over ten years of experience in nonprofit leadership and running her own wellness business, Nicolette combines her background in psychology, mindfulness, and psychophysiology to create profound change. Nicolette has hands-on experience as a Therapy Associate, and has worked with patients recovering from neurological disorders. She offers one-on-one coaching tailored to each client's needs, with options for short-term, transformative engagements. Her personalized coaching sessions help individuals break free from self-limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. She completed a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University.
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer
    Interruptions typically stem from excitement! You're so excited to share your thoughts that you end up interrupting the other person.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 3 Helpful 39
  • Question
    How do I train myself to be a better listener?
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Through her work, Nicolette helps high achievers discover their true potential and grow personally. She recently founded the non-profit Celestial Wellness Network and started a musical project, The Feather and Stone. With over ten years of experience in nonprofit leadership and running her own wellness business, Nicolette combines her background in psychology, mindfulness, and psychophysiology to create profound change. Nicolette has hands-on experience as a Therapy Associate, and has worked with patients recovering from neurological disorders. She offers one-on-one coaching tailored to each client's needs, with options for short-term, transformative engagements. Her personalized coaching sessions help individuals break free from self-limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. She completed a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University.
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer
    Practice reading in between the lines! What can you figure out by just listening to someone? What kinds of nonverbal cues and subtext can you read into?
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 1 Helpful 11
  • Question
    How do you cut someone off politely?
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Through her work, Nicolette helps high achievers discover their true potential and grow personally. She recently founded the non-profit Celestial Wellness Network and started a musical project, The Feather and Stone. With over ten years of experience in nonprofit leadership and running her own wellness business, Nicolette combines her background in psychology, mindfulness, and psychophysiology to create profound change. Nicolette has hands-on experience as a Therapy Associate, and has worked with patients recovering from neurological disorders. She offers one-on-one coaching tailored to each client's needs, with options for short-term, transformative engagements. Her personalized coaching sessions help individuals break free from self-limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. She completed a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University.
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer
    Ask for permission! Say something as simple as "Can I interrupt you? I really want to talk about the point you just made."
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 2 Helpful 11
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/oct/24/let-me-finish-how-to-stop-interrupting-and-change-the-world
      2. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview. 28 January 2020.
      3. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview. 28 January 2020.
      4. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview. 28 January 2020.
      5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/mindful-listening-exercise
      6. ↑ https://interruptions.net/literature/Li-JLSP01.pdf
      7. ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/oct/24/let-me-finish-how-to-stop-interrupting-and-change-the-world
      8. ↑ https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/business-career/public-speaking/stop-interrupting?page=1
      9. ↑ https://www.inc.com/brenda-barbosa/how-to-stop-yourself-from-interrupting-others.html
      1. ↑ https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/wellbeing/how-to-talk-about-health-problems/active-listening
      2. ↑ https://learningenglish.voanews.com/a/how-to-interrupt-someone-in-a-nice-way/4735900.html
      3. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview. 28 January 2020.
      4. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/319195
      5. ↑ https://www.inc.com/kat-boogaard/4-ways-to-interrupt-someone-politely.html

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