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It can be difficult dealing with mocking and teasing from others. Their words can hurt your feelings and make you feel small and alone. However, there are a number of things that you can do to limit how much their mocking hurts you and prevent it in the future. By taking charge and engaging with those mocking you, it is possible to end the ridicule.
What to Do When Someone Mocks You
Stay calm and tell the bullies to stop in a confident voice. After that, it’s best to walk away instead of engaging with them. For a witty comeback, try something like “Wow, did you come up with that all by yourself?” You could also simply ignore the bullies completely and walk away.
Steps
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Confront those who are mocking you. Although it might be intimidating to talk to the people who are mocking you, addressing them and their ridicule head on might help the situation. Ask personal questions and try to understand why they are mocking you. This will help you take control of the situation and resolve it on your terms.
- Remember that the bully's mocking you is a reflection of the bully, not of your worth as a person. This person is having their own problems and is wrongly taking them out on you.
- For example, you could say, "I see that mocking me makes you feel powerful and in control," or "I understand that you feel better taking your anger out on me rather than confronting your problems."
- You could also say, "I see that you're making fun of me, and it's not funny." [1]
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Expert Source
Katie Styzek
School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. - Think of yourself as a therapist trying to understand your bullies issues.
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Tell them to stop. Sometimes taking a firm stand and addressing those making fun of you head on works. Calmly and assertively explain to those mocking you that you do not appreciate their comments. Although this tactic is more direct, it is unlikely those making fun of you expect this response. You might be surprised at the outcome. [2] X Research sourceAdvertisement
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Act confidently. Put your best face forward when people are mocking you. Stand up straight and try not to reveal how much their comments are hurting you. They are trying to get a response out of you and, if you respond confidently, your bullies will not get the reaction they desire. [3] X Expert Source Katie Styzek
School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. -
Stay calm. If you are being mocked, try to stay calm. With the wave of embarrassment and hurt feelings washing over you, this is probably easier said than done. However, in the moment, staying cool takes away the power of those trying to hurt you. Their goal is to hurt you and see you sad, not reacting denies them the satisfaction of knowing that they got to you. [4] X Research source
- Take a deep breath and count to ten. [5] X Research source
- Focus on your breathing to get through the moment. [6]
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Expert Source
Katie Styzek
School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. - Think about your happy place and concentrate on your breathing.
- Think about how someone you admire would handle this situation and try to imitate that.
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Walk away from those mocking you. If you find yourself being made fun of, and your efforts to engage with the bully have failed, walk confidently and slowly away. This will remove you from the situation and convey to those mocking you that you do not appreciate what they are saying. [7] X Research source
- Stand up straight and walk slowly. Running away tells those mocking you that they have gotten to you.
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Laugh at the ridicule. The people making fun of you expect you to react negatively by either getting angry or being sad, so laughing will throw them off. Give a big hearty laugh like the mocking is the funniest thing you have ever heard. This will deflect the attack and show how little power they have over you. [8] X Research source
- Slap your knee and really exaggerate how funny you think their comments are.
- Say something like “that’s a new one” or “that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.”
- Say something like “that’s enough” or “quit being rude.”
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Think about something else. In the moment, it can be difficult to focus on anything other than the mockery that is being directed towards you. However, mentally leaving the situation may help you better deal with it. Try thinking of a place that is peaceful and makes you feel happy. This will help you stay calm and not let the attacks hurt you. [9] X Research source
- You can also imagine a brick wall between you and those mocking you that is deflecting their comments.
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Give a witty comeback. A sick burn is a great way to turn the tables on those mocking you. This tells them that you are above their comments and makes them look bad in the process. A clever comeback sends the message that you are not an easy target and there are consequences for messing with you. [10] X Research source
- Say something like “wow, did you come up with that all by yourself” or “pardon me, but you seem to think that I care.”
- Try the “Yes, and…” technique. If someone is giving you a hard time about something just respond by acknowledging their teasing and then inserting a joke. For example, if someone zings your new haircut by saying “Nice haircut. Joining a punk band?” You can reply with “Yeah, and tomorrow I’m piercing lips, nose, and mouth.” [11] X Research source
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Roll with the teasing. Although it might seem counterintuitive, sometimes the best way to deflect mocking is to acknowledge it. Addressing part of the bullies’ attacks takes the power away from them and puts you in control. You can then reframe their attack in a way that you want. [12] X Research source
- For example, if you are being mocked about wearing a hat they consider “weird,” you can respond by saying “yeah, it looks weird but you have to admit that it’s pretty cool.”
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Act like it did not happen. Blowing off those making fun of you takes away much of their power over you. This demonstrates that you are above their comments and that they have not impact on you. This not only takes you out of the immediate situation, but also undermines the bullies’ ability to further ridicule you. [13] X Research source
- Try to walk away confidently and calmly. This will convey to the people mocking you that their words have not hurt you.
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Understand that those mocking you are unhappy. It is important to remember that those who are making fun of you are doing so because they are unhappy and they want to make you feel the same way. Developing compassion for those who are mocking you will put you in a better mindset to deal with their attacks. [14] X Research source
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Do not bully back. Although it might seem like lashing out at the people mocking you is the best response, it gives those teasing you the emotional response they wanted and may escalate the situation. Remember to try to stay calm and avoid saying any mean-spirited or hurtful comments to those bullying you. Try to take the moral high ground and show that you are the bigger person. [15] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- Remember that two wrongs do not make a right.
- Matching your bully’s mean comments with your own can escalate the situation and lead to a fight.
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Avoid being alone. Stick with your friends and try to avoid situations where you are alone. You are more likely to be singled out for ridicule when you are by yourself than when you are with your friends. [16] X Expert Source Katie Styzek
School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. If you have good friends, they will stand by you and give you moral support if someone mocks you while they are around. [17] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source- If your friends are the ones mocking you, they might not be your friends. You should talk with them about their behavior.
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Avoid places where your bully hangs out. Steer clear of places where you know that you might be mocked. If you can avoid it, do not walk by your bully’s locker or the lunch table where the people who tease you eat lunch. Simply try to share as little space with those who mock you as you can. [18] X Research source
- Learn your bullies schedule and determine routes that will keep as much space as possible between you and them.
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Report bullying. If you have tried everything in your power to put an end to others mocking you, report the bullying to an adult or superior. This will get you help and may make you feel less afraid. [19] X Expert Source Katie Styzek
School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. Knowing that you have someone on your side will give you some much needed confidence. Most people do not want to see you build and will try to help you in any way they can. [20] X Research source- Be sure to tell the authority figure exactly what happened. This will help them better understand how to help you out.
- If you are a kid, talk to your parents or a teacher about the problem.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat do you say to a friend who mocks you?Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.I would simply say, "Hey, that's not funny." Then you can try to change the topic. If they keep mocking you, explain that what they're saying hurts your feelings and ask them to stop.
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References
- ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
- ↑ http://io9.gizmodo.com/5966749/six-lessons-i-learned-from-being-bullied-as-a-geeky-kid
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ http://io9.gizmodo.com/5966749/six-lessons-i-learned-from-being-bullied-as-a-geeky-kid/
- ↑ http://restartyourstyle.com/406/how-to-stop-your-friends-from-mocking-your-new-look/
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/promoting-empathy-your-teen/201210/putting-end-bullying-without-bullying
- ↑ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/bullying.aspx
- ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
- ↑ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/bullying.aspx
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
- ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
- ↑ http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied/
About This Article
Article Summary
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Being mocked by someone can be upsetting, but try not to show them that it bothers you. Laugh it off, whether you’re laughing at the joke itself or how ridiculous the person is being. You can even throw a joke back in their direction if you can think of one. For example, if someone makes a joke about your haircut, say something like, “Wow, that was close. I almost cared what you think.” Alternatively, just ignore their mocking completely and walk away. However, if someone always mocks you and you feel like you’re being bullied, you don’t have to put up with it. Say something like, “I don't appreciate you laughing at me like that. I didn't do anything to you.” If that doesn’t make them stop, report them to an authority, like your teacher, your parents, or a group leader. For more tips from our co-author, including how to stay calm when someone mocks you, read on.
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Reader Success Stories
- "The article is very helpful because it somehow made me understand how bullies think. It expanded my outlook on how to properly respond to these kinds of situations and gain control over ourselves with correct actions." ..." more
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