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Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Nobody deserves to be bullied, but many of us deal with them over time, often as children. Either way, when you find yourself being bullied, there are many steps you can take to stop the behavior . Read on for a comprehensive list of tips on dealing with bullies, from standing up for yourself to walking away and improving your self-confidence.
Things You Should Know
- Stand up to the bully with unemotional language, and don't let them see how much they affect you. If all else fails, just ignore them and walk away.
- Enlist the help of your friends and travel in groups to stop bullies from approaching. Get help from a trusted authority figure, too.
- Build up your self-confidence and learn to manage your stress so you don't feel overwhelmed or depressed. You'll get through this—it just takes time.
Steps
Protect Yourself from Deceitful People with this Expert Series
Do you have liars or people who like to bully and gossip in your life? It can be hard to know what's real when the people around you aren't truthful, so we've put together this expert series to help you protect yourself from lying, bullying, and gossip.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I avoid being bullied?Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.Bullies tend to pick on students who are alone at times like lunch, recess, or on a field trip. If possible, stay with a group during that time, or at least try to stick with one friend. You can also tell the bully, "Stop bothering me," and if it continues, tell an adult at school and adults at home.
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QuestionHow do I deal with a friend who's a bully?Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.Start out lighthearted—say something like, "Hey, that's not funny." If they do it again, you can say, "That's not very nice, maybe we can talk about something else," and try to change the subject. Then, if it continues, you can say, "What you're saying really bothers me. If we're going to keep being friends, I'd like to talk about other things."
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Tips
- If a bully always hangs out in the same area, walk with friends so you won't be alone when you walk past them. There's safety in numbers, and they might not bother you if it would mean taking on a large group.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Talk to a trusted adult about what's going on and don't worry about the fact that you're "telling" on the bully. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, talk to another adult who you trust.
- If they tend to use the same basic insults, think of comebacks that you can write down and memorize. That way you'll have something to say if they try to insult you.
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Warnings
- If the bully is an adult or young adult threatening or hurting you, that's abuse. Talk to someone about it immediately.Thanks
- Many children are taught that bullies will not get physical if they only make fun of them. This is not always true, as it can escalate. Be careful around any bully and stay in public places or among others (especially authority figures) when a bully picks on you.Thanks
- Don't ignore bullies who are doing things that involve touching you, even if they're not strictly attacking. Odds are, those instances are serious and require outside help.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-cope-with-bullying/
- ↑ https://www.stompoutbullying.org/how-to-deal-with-bullies
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/family/parenting/bullying
- ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-cope-with-bullying/
- ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-cope-with-bullying/
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/bullies.html
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/bullies.html
- ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
- ↑ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-10-tips-for-overcoming-bullying/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/stress/stress-relief-guide
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/family/parenting/bullying
- ↑ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-10-tips-for-overcoming-bullying/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/bullying.htm
- ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-cope-with-bullying/
About This Article
Article Summary
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It may be tough, but the best way to deal with a bully is to ignore or walk away from them when they're bothering you. Alternatively, you could try to laugh at everything they say to confuse the bully, and hopefully get them to leave you alone. You should also try to avoid them at school or in social situations, or have friends around since there’s safety in numbers. No matter how you choose to deal with your situation, reach out to an adult who can help keep you safe, like your parents, a teacher, or the police. For more tips, like how to deal with cyberbullying, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "It helped my learn how to deal with bullies just like it said, and didn't give me useless information. It taught me a lot of things, especially not to be afraid to stand up to bullies and how to do it. I honestly didn't expect this to be helpful, but it is." ..." more
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"It helped my learn how to deal with bullies just like it said, and didn't give me useless information. It taught me a lot of things, especially not to be afraid to stand up to bullies and how to do it. I honestly didn't expect this to be helpful, but it is."
..."
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"Thank you, i will think about this the next time. School is almost beggining and I don't want to go through what I have been through this past year. I will try to be emotionally stronger, since I'm very sincere with my emotions, I'm very sensible. Thanks."
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"This article really helped me. I was involved in a bullying "act" that was actually very big and affected a lot of people (I was a victim). It got relatively physical, so I knew what to do, and I managed to help a lot of my friends. "
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"It was informative to me that someone could step on one's toes. I have forgot a lot of things since years ago, I became disabled and stopped defending myself around people, like at the convenience store, and not being assertive. "
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"All of this info is helping me navigate away from a bully, so-called friend and his toxic control, racism, ridicule and rage that faithfully spews on me. No more and no contact! I will follow kindness and freedom forever."
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