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Let your partner know she rules your world with this expert advice
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Treating your girlfriend like a princess doesn’t always mean giving her lavish gifts or bowing when you see her—instead, it’s all about treating her with kindness, generosity, and respect. By putting her first, she’s sure to feel like royalty every day you’re with her. We interviewed 3 relationship coaches and dating experts about how to treat your partner right and make her feel loved. Keep reading for more!
Giving Your Girlfriend the Princess Treatment
- Support your girlfriend’s wants and needs.
- Use “I” statements to make your girlfriend feel respected during arguments.
- Brag about her best qualities and successes to others.
- Give her small gifts you know she’ll love and cherish.
- If possible, plan trips to places you know she would love to visit.
Steps
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Support your girlfriend’s wants and needs. Listen attentively to your girlfriend’s needs, desires, and concerns, and support her choices whenever possible. If your girlfriend tells you she would like to set aside a day to spend together, coordinate a time that works for her and put it on your schedule. [1] X Research source
- Try to think about what your girlfriend feels and experiences, then engage in behavior that acknowledges her desires. [2]
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- You might notice that she smiles or giggles when you pretend she’s royalty, so you may kiss her hand or bow to make her really laugh.
- Dating coach Connell Barrett says to “ask yourself, ‘how can I make my partner feel significant, appreciated, and loved today?’ You do that every day, you're going to have a great chance for a long lasting, mutually connected, passionate relationship.” [3]
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Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 2 April 2021.
- Try to think about what your girlfriend feels and experiences, then engage in behavior that acknowledges her desires. [2]
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Engage in physical touch to make her feel loved. Physical touch can not only improve your communication with your girlfriend, it can make her feel special , relaxed, and emotionally close to you. Try holding her hand in public , hugging her, or putting your arm around her shoulders to let her know you’re there for her. [4] X Research source
- If this is the first time you’re holding your girlfriend’s hand or hugging her, ask her if it would be okay first.
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Support your girlfriend so she can make her dreams come true. Whether your girlfriend wants to become the president of the country or own a bakery, providing emotional and logistical support can be a great way to show her you love and appreciate her. Try to be there for her and be a stable and loving presence in her life so she can fulfill her goals. [5] X Research source
- You might ask her where she got the idea for her dream or offer to take other things off her plate (like chores or child care) so she can carry out her plans. [6] X Research source
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Make your girlfriend feel loved and respected during arguments. In the heat of the moment, it can be easy to say something you don’t really mean. However, this can hurt your partner’s feelings and make them feel unheard. Try not to call her names or insult her, and instead try to express how she makes you feel. [7] X Research source
- Use “I statements” like “I feel hurt when you shut down our conversations” or “I feel alone in our relationship when you say I’m not doing enough to support you.”
- Try to avoid using absolute words like “always” or “never” (like “You never take out the garbage”)—these can make your partner feel unappreciated and unseen.
- Try to replace sarcasm with gentle language and apologize if you say something that hurts her feelings as soon as possible.
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Be proud of her accomplishments and brag about her success. Praising your girlfriend’s best qualities, strengths, and achievements to others shows that you care deeply about her and that you built a relationship based on respect and appreciation. [8] X Research source After all, you started dating her for a reason!
- As you talk to others, try to check yourself regularly to make sure you’re talking about your girlfriend in a positive way. Remind yourself how much you love and appreciate her.
- If you talk about something your girlfriend did (like not washing the dishes or ignoring your texts) to someone else, it might be a sign that you need to have a conversation with her about it.
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Give her a gift you know she’ll enjoy and cherish. A good gift involves some sacrifice, whether it’s money or time, and shows that you understand your girlfriend through and through. [9] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Show her you care regularly with small gifts, like flowers or her favorite candy.
- Relationship expert Joshua Pompey says “Sometimes just even a framed picture of a great memory can be infinitely more… satisfying to someone than spending $300 or $200 on a pair of airpods because they want it.” [10]
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Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert Expert Interview. 27 November 2019. - You can also surprise her with a gift that shows her you’re thinking about her, like a postcard from somewhere you visited or a flower from your garden. [11] X Research source
- On holidays and other important events, try to get a bigger present that you know she’ll love, like movie tickets, jewelry, or a photo album of her life. [12] X Research source
- Relationship expert Joshua Pompey says “Sometimes just even a framed picture of a great memory can be infinitely more… satisfying to someone than spending $300 or $200 on a pair of airpods because they want it.” [10]
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Joshua Pompey
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Surprise her with her favorite meal or breakfast in bed. Food is a language of love and can be a great way to show her that she’s everything to you. You can also bring her lunch or a coffee while she’s working, eat dinner outside together, or make her lunch with a sweet note inside that will make her smile on her break. [13] X Research source
- Relationship Coach Collette Gee says that “showing up at your partner's workplace and taking them out for lunch” or “planning an impromptu picnic
” can be great random acts of kindness to you for your partner. [14]
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Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020. - For a simple but sweet breakfast in bed, make her favorite morning meal, pour her a cup of coffee (or whatever drink she loves), and write a love note to go along with it.
- Relationship Coach Collette Gee says that “showing up at your partner's workplace and taking them out for lunch” or “planning an impromptu picnic
” can be great random acts of kindness to you for your partner. [14]
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Expert Source
Collette Gee
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Try to take her out on a date once a week. Spending at least 2 hours a week on dates can make her happy and improve your relationship. Dates also allow you to have fun together and engage in activities you both enjoy. Make a reservation at a fancy restaurant, go to a festival, or engage in an outdoor activity like hiking or kayaking. [15] X Research source
- Pompey says “When you're with somebody you need to put the effort in.” One way to do this is by “ planning dates
that show that you are paying attention to what your partner is interested in and what she likes.” [16]
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Expert Source
Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert Expert Interview. 27 November 2019. - Dates don’t have to be expensive and extravagant to make her feel loved! You can take her to a coffee shop, cook a meal together, go to a museum or art exhibit, or play a board game.
- Other romantic dates include going to the beach, having a DIY spa day, stargazing, seeing a comedy show, taking a cooking class, or watching movies in bed together. [17] X Research source
- Pompey says “When you're with somebody you need to put the effort in.” One way to do this is by “ planning dates
that show that you are paying attention to what your partner is interested in and what she likes.” [16]
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Expert Source
Joshua Pompey
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Give her love and affection through massages. Not only can massages improve her mental and physical well-being, they can reduce stress and give you a way to show more affection towards her. [18] X Research source Rub her sore shoulders after a long day, or let her lie face-down on the bed, rub lotion all over her back, and gently massage out those knots .
- Set the mood by turning on a dim light, playing gentle relaxing music, or lighting a scented candle that would make your girlfriend feel relaxed. [19] X Research source
- Rub her back and arms with circular motions or long, smooth strokes along each muscle. Use your thumbs in areas where you need more pressure, like on the arches of her feet. [20] X Research source
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Plan a trip somewhere she’d love to visit. Every once in a while (maybe twice a year or more), plan a trip for just the two of you. Make it a weekend getaway or go on an adventure in another country you know she wants to visit. Make sure she’s available, then buy the plane tickets (if necessary), book a hotel (or a spot at a campground), and go!
- Make a list of all the things you and your girlfriend would like to see or do the most. Prioritize those, and pencil in extra time for wandering and exploring the area! [21] X Research source
- Travel can not only give you two a break from stressors at home, but it can open you up to new experiences and make you more flexible and appreciative when you come back. [22] X Research source
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Listen actively when your girlfriend talks to you. Showing that you listen to what your girlfriend says can make her feel loved and valued. Try to actively listen with your entire body by holding her eye contact , leaning forward, nodding along, and putting away your phone or other distractions while she’s talking to you. [23] X Research source
- Summarize what she’s saying to make sure you’re understanding her. You can say something like, “It sounds like you worked all night to finish this project and you don’t feel appreciated for it. Is that right?”
- Validate what your girlfriend is saying
by acknowledging what she’s going through and asking more questions about how you can support her or make her feel better.
- You might say something like, “I’m sorry you had a rough day. Would you like me to cook dinner tonight? Or we could watch your favorite movie?”
- When you notice that your girlfriend is less talkative or happy than usual, gently ask her how she’s feeling or if there’s anything that’s bothering her.
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Remind her that you love her and you're happy to be with her. Telling your girlfriend that you love her and value her presence in your life can reinforce that you’re there for her and that she matters deeply to you. [24] X Research source Wear your heart on your sleeve and try to tell her how much she means to you every day.
- If you haven’t said “I love you” yet, show your love
in other ways through acts of service, affection, quality time, or gifts.
- You might get her a coffee while you’re doing errands because you know she loves it, take over one of the items on her to-do list, or sit and watch her favorite show with her.
- Barrett says to make your girlfriend feel like your number one, tell her that she’s beautiful or send her a flirty text message throughout the day. [25]
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Expert Source
Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 2 April 2021.
- If you haven’t said “I love you” yet, show your love
in other ways through acts of service, affection, quality time, or gifts.
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Compliment your girlfriend to make her feel valued and appreciated. Giving your girlfriend genuine compliments can increase her feelings towards you (and vice versa) and foster intimacy. [26] X Research source Try to compliment her on something more than her outfit or hair—tell her you adore how passionate she is about a hobby or you love how kind she is.
- Begin each compliment with the words “I appreciate,” “I value,” or “I like,” and follow it with exactly what she did that you liked or what you like about her.
- You might say “I appreciate how kind and thoughtful you are when you ask my friends how they’re doing. I can tell they really like you.”
- Begin each compliment with the words “I appreciate,” “I value,” or “I like,” and follow it with exactly what she did that you liked or what you like about her.
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Show your girlfriend you’re committed to her no matter what. True loyalty is all about cherishing each other and establishing a deep sense of trust. [27] X Research source Remember that commitment is an obligation, not a choice—try to stick with her during difficult times and avoid talking about her behind her back. [28] X Research source
- Betrayal doesn’t just include cheating—it might also include not defending your partner when someone makes a hurtful joke or telling others her deepest secrets.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat are your favorite acts of generosity a husband can do for his wife?Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.Sometimes little actions can mean a lot. Try showing up at her workplace and taking her out to lunch, or go for a picnic together. You could also let her pick a movie she wants to watch, or you could offer to give her a massage.
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Tips
- Try to accept her for who she is. The world is full of people trying to change everyone around them into their ideal versions of the perfect friend or the perfect date.Thanks
- If something bothers you in your relationship, talk directly to your girlfriend about it and try to avoid sharing complaints or personal information with others.Thanks
- Try to be willing to accept any mistakes you make. Remember: you're on the same side. There is no battlefield.Thanks
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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Remember to always be yourself and never forget who you are. The girl you love can see when you are not the way you used to be.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201701/25-ways-you-can-show-respect-your-partner
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201602/7-ways-to-become-a-more-loving-partner
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 2 April 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202202/4-ways-more-touch-can-strengthen-relationship
- ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/make-life-dreams-come-true-how-to-support-your-partner/
- ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/support-each-others-dreams/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/therapists-education/202203/how-have-healthy-fights-your-partner
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-the-most-modern-marriage/202102/does-your-marriage-pass-the-brag-test
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/brain-gift-giving
- ↑ Joshua Pompey. Relationship Expert. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/gifts-love-language
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/head-games/201911/the-psychology-gift-giving-3-lessons
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/joyful-parenting/201512/20-ways-surprise-your-partner
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happy-healthy-relationships/202205/why-date-nights-are-so-important-healthy-relationships
- ↑ Joshua Pompey. Relationship Expert. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a31405192/cute-romantic-date-ideas/
- ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/05/170503213543.htm
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-to-give-a-sensual-massage
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-to-give-a-sensual-massage
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/trip-planning-is-basically-my-therapy-heres-how-i-make-travel-happen-no-matter-what
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-shrink/201803/why-travel-is-good-your-mental-health
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/listen-better-in-relationships
- ↑ https://news.fiu.edu/2020/why-you-should-say-i-love-you-today-and-every-day
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 2 April 2021.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-give-a-powerful-compliment
- ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-3-phases-of-love/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/loyalty-in-a-relationship
About This Article
Article Summary
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If you want to treat your girlfriend like a princess, do things that make her feel special and listen to her opinions and needs. Give her gifts from time to time, such as flowers or jewelry. You can also show you care about her by making her breakfast in bed, or bringing her coffee or lunch to her workplace. Alternatively, offer to give her a massage if you're together at home, which will help her to relax.. When your girlfriend needs to talk, like when she’s angry about something, take time to listen to her and make it clear that you’re paying attention. For example, try asking her questions to show you’re interested in what she’s saying and putting away any distractions, like phones or games. For tips on how to compliment your girlfriend, read on!
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