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In the middle of class, a student that you've never seen before walks and sits at the empty desk next to you after they introduced themself to the teacher. Let's say you have been a new kid before, and remember how tough it was getting used to the schedule. This article can help with ideas to make the student more comfortable and possibly make a new friend.
Steps
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Greet them warmly. Reach out to the new kid first. They might feel nervous or anxious about reaching out to other students, whether it’s for friendship or to get help. By being the first to talk to them, you’re letting them know there’s nothing to worry about. Be positive when talking to them and be kind.
- Try to greet them early in the school day. This gives you a chance to get to know them and help them out throughout the day.
- Introduce yourself by name and make them feel welcome. For example, you can say: “Hi! My name’s Lucy! I’m so happy to meet you. What’s your name?”
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Find out more about them. Learn a little about them by asking questions. Show that you’re interested in them and want to learn more. Asking about their interests will help you see if you have any points in common with them. You’ll also be able to suggest extracurricular activities for them, or even set them up with future friends.
- Do this outside of class during break or lunch so that you don’t get them in trouble with their teachers.
- Ask them what activities they were involved with at their old school. This will help guide them towards activities they can do at their new school.
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Talk just a little about yourself. Don’t be afraid to go into your own interests as well. This can help develop a bond with the new kid, especially if you have interests in common. It also gives you a chance to suggest after-school activities for them to try.
- Tell them something about yourself to help them remember you and give them idea of your interests. For example, say: “I play trombone in the school band."
- Let them know about any activities you do outside of school the day before. This way, you can invite them to come with you.
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Make sure the new kid is seated near you. It’ll be easier for you to help them through the school day if you’re near them in class. Speak to your teacher about sitting next to the new student. As long as you explain that you’re doing it to be helpful, there shouldn’t be a problem. [1] X Research source
- For example, you could say: "Mary is new to this school. Could I please sit next to her so that I can help her and make her feel welcome?"
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Invite them to sit with you at lunch. One of the scariest things for a new kid is not knowing where to sit at lunch. Everyone already knows where to sit, and they’re usually stuck eating alone. Save a seat for the new kid at your table and you’ll make a great impression.
- If you’re used to sitting with your friends, this is a great chance to introduce them to the new kid.
- Ask them during break or on the way to lunch if they want to sit with you. Say something like: Hey, would you like to sit with me and my friends at lunch?"
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Introduce the new kid to your friends. Don't try and take full responsibility for the new kid feeling welcome. Introduce them to your friends and to others in your class. This will help them make more friendships for the future and feel comfortable even when you're not around.
- Don't be upset if the new kid doesn't become friends with yours. The goal is to make them feel welcome. If they make their own friends, that's okay!
- The new kid might even find a different group they click with and become friends with them.
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Help them with their schedule. On top of getting into a new school, new students have to deal with a whole new schedule. They’ll probably have a lot of questions about the classes themselves, where they are and even the teachers.
- See if there any resources at your school to help students with their schedules, then ask the new kid if they have access to them, and help them if they don't.
- If your school doesn't have such resources, improvise! Get them a planner, help them make their schedule, and print a list of school events.
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Check in with them frequently. The first day is particularly stressful for new kids, and you’ll want to make sure they’re doing well throughout the day. Try to make yourself available frequently after that too, though. Make sure you’re also checking on the new kid throughout their first few weeks at their new school.
- If you’re comfortable doing so, give them your phone number or social media contact info. This gives them the chance to reach out to you whenever they need it.
- Some new kids may not want to be checked in on. If they tell you they don't need help, respect their answer.
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Be ready to help them with homework if you share classes. Changing schools can be especially jarring, especially if it’s done after the beginning of the year. A new kid’s head might be spinning with all the new things they have to learn about their school and fellow classmates.
- Offer to do your homework together. Take some time between classes or at lunch to help them with anything they’re having difficulties with.
- If English is the new student’s second language, you can be very helpful by giving them a hand with their homework. [2] X Research source
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat do you say to a new kid at school?Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.Something as simple as saying hi to a new student and introducing yourself can go a long way toward making them more comfortable. Also, try offering a place to sit during lunch, since lunchtime can be an overwhelming experience for a new student.
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Tips
- Tell them good things about your school. Discuss what you especially like about your school and encourage them to get involved!Thanks
- Remember that the new student probably has a lot on their mind. If they don't seem so interested in being your friend, this does not necessarily mean that they don't like you or appreciate your gestures. You may need to step back and give them some time before jumping right into the friendship.Thanks
- A nice idea might be to invite the new kid to hang out with you and your friends. It would make this student feel very included and welcome in social settings.Thanks
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Article Summary
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Saying hello is the first step in helping the new kid at school feel at ease. After this simple yet important greeting, ask a few questions -- exchange names, hobbies, and favorite subjects to study. You can also help in practical ways, such as explaining the school schedule, showing them around, and making sure they are sitting with kids who will be good influences. For more tips on how to help the new kid at school feel comfortable, including how to make sure they meet other friends, keep reading!
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Reader Success Stories
- "Wow, this helped me a lot! My teacher told me we were going to have a new kid in school, I was so nervous and wanted to be her friend, wanting to make her feel welcome and just like me. I don't know what her face even looks like yet and I am still nervous, but still feel very confident! " ..." more
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"Wow, this helped me a lot! My teacher told me we were going to have a new kid in school, I was so nervous and wanted to be her friend, wanting to make her feel welcome and just like me. I don't know what her face even looks like yet and I am still nervous, but still feel very confident! "
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"There's a new kid in my homeroom and he doesn't speak English, but I'm in Spanish immersion so I can talk to him. I just didn't want to annoy him or make it seem weird. I needed tips on how to start a good conversation with him. This whole article helped me."
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"The thing that helped me most is when it said, "Do not try to keep them from forming their own friendships. If they wish to befriend your worst enemy, so be it!". That can be hard to do, but they are free to do what they want. :D"
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"I'm the smartest one in my class and there is a new kid in my class. He really needed help with his grades so I offered to help him out, and he ended up being my best guy friend! "
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"A new boy is coming to my school this month and I was very nervous until I read this article! I feel more confident now after reading this!"
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