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Find out if your FWB arrangement is actually a situationship
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You’re chatting with a friend when the term “situationship” comes up. What your friend describes hits too close to home…Are you in a situationship? Situationships can be messy, but they may also be a great option if you’re tired of regular relationship commitments. So, what are they exactly? We’ll teach you everything there is to know about situationships in this article, from the signs that you’re in one to how to make it work for you.
Things You Should Know
- Situationships are casual, flexible romantic relationships with zero commitments or expectations.
- If you and your companion avoid labeling your relationship, skip talking about the future, and don't have many emotional conversations, it may be a situationship.
- Although expectations and commitments are on the wayside, communicate your boundaries clearly in a situationship.
Steps
Section 2 of 6:
Signs You’re in a Situationship
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You’re unsure what to call the relationship. There are inconsistencies in a situationship. One person may have stronger feelings for the other, one week may consist of more hookups, and/or a whole month could go by without talking. If you’re not sure if you’re dating, hooking up, or “seeing each other,” it may be a sign you’re in a situationship. [2] X Research source
- Basically, no label equals a situationship.
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You feel confused. One thing’s for certain: situationships are confusing. Unlike a friends-with-benefits situation, there’s time and space in a situationship to open up with each other; however, being vulnerable without stability can cause conflicting emotions.
- For instance, say you tell them something extremely personal while you’re together. But despite what you said, they ghost you a week later. This isn’t purposeful; it’s just a part of a situationship—the ability to detach and step back whenever.
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You’re anxious about sharing your feelings with them. Communicating authentically in a situationship can be difficult because you don’t rely on each other for emotional support. If you’re worried about expressing your emotions with them, it may be because you don’t know where the relationship stands, which is a definitive sign of a situationship. [3] X Research source
- Typically, situationships are unstable and inconsistent, making it harder for you to express yourself.
- Think of it this way: the more you can open up to someone, the more secure your relationship is.
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There’s more than one person in the picture. Since situationships aren’t exclusive, there’s no rule saying you can’t have more than one romantic interest. Chances are, if one or both of you are dating or seeing someone else, it could be a situationship.
- If your situationship partner is seeing someone else, it’s possible they’re polyamorous or in an open relationship. However, if your personal relationship with them is still undefined, it could be a situationship.
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You haven’t met their friends or family. Because a situationship doesn’t require commitment, they may hold you at arm's length when it comes to their personal life. Introducing you to their loved ones could become messy, especially if you only get together in specific situations.
- This can go both ways. Maybe you’re hesitant to introduce them to your family and friends (and not because you’re nervous they won’t like them).
- Keep in mind that situationships can happen amongst friends, so knowing people in the same friend group is a possibility.
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There are no plans for the future. With no commitments or expectations, there’s no need to talk about the future. You don’t make plans in advance to see each other; typically, it happens on a whim. There’s also no set time on how long you spend together or what the future has in store for the relationship. [4] X Research source
- In other words, you both play things out in the spur of the moment. You may have some serious discussions, but they’ll rarely involve where you see the relationship going (dating, marriage, etc.).
- Along with this, you don’t celebrate milestones together (birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc.) because there’s no intent to be a constant presence in each others’ lives.
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They say they don’t want a serious relationship. If you’re told outright that things won’t ever get “real,” then you’re most likely in a situationship. They’re setting their boundaries: no commitments. The casual nature of the relationship indicates that things will likely stay ambiguous and not progress any further.
- If this is what you want too, fantastic! But if it isn’t, state your boundaries and expectations upfront to avoid future confusion.
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Section 4 of 6:
Common Expectations for Situationships
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The relationship is temporary. Situationships thrive off of zero commitments. Because of this, there’s no promise for the future. You hookup, get together, and hang out when the time is right. Then, when the romantic chemistry fades or you go down different paths, the situationship ends. [8] X Research source
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Nothing’s exclusive. With no labels, there’s no rule to say you both can’t date someone else. Until there’s a serious discussion about what your relationship is, you’re single and ready to mingle. [9] X Research source
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You can still care for each other. A lack of commitment doesn’t mean a lack of sympathy. Emotions come with intimacy, no matter how much you try to suppress them. Before getting into a situationship, it’s important to acknowledge that caring for someone is okay, even if you’re not technically dating.
- Acknowledge if you're ready to be intimate with someone and possibly make a connection without commitment. If you're not, a situationship may not be for you.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with John Keegan .
References
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220831-situationships-why-gen-z-are-embracing-the-grey-area
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202210/5-ways-tell-if-youre-in-relationship-or-just-situationship
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2022/10/18/a-psychologist-helps-you-understand-if-youre-in-a-relationship-or-a-situationship/?sh=1fc0e51d38d8
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202210/5-ways-tell-if-youre-in-relationship-or-just-situationship
- ↑ https://blog.utc.edu/news/2022/02/situationship-setting-exploring-relationship-expectations/
- ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5vjyb/love-relationship-situationship-commitment
- ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5vjyb/love-relationship-situationship-commitment
- ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5vjyb/love-relationship-situationship-commitment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202210/5-ways-tell-if-youre-in-relationship-or-just-situationship
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