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The etiquette of funeral thank you cards
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When a loved one passes the living can be left with quite a deal to do, including acknowledging all the help and kindness they’ve received. Writing thank you letters can be daunting, but we’ve done our best to find you the easiest, most heartfelt ways to express your thanks. Your notes don’t have to be long and complicated, one or two sincere sentences is enough to convey how you feel. We’ll walk you through how to choose what to say to anyone who came, plus give you some concrete examples. You’re going to get through this.
Things You Should Know
- Send thank you notes to people who helped with the funeral, made monetary donations, or gave gifts like food or flowers.
- Don’t feel obligated to send thank you cards after a funeral. They’re a nice way to show your appreciation, but your mourning should come first.
- Write short, specific messages to thank them for what they did (or gave you), and consider adding a personal anecdote about your relationship or their relationship to the deceased.
Steps
Sample Messages
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat do you write in a thank you card after a funeral?Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.I would address the person by name, then thank them for whatever it is they did, whether that was sending flowers, helping with arrangements, or just being at the funeral. Conclude the card by letting them know you appreciate their kindness. Finally, tell them you look forward to seeing them again.
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QuestionShould I sign or write something additional on a pre-printed thank you card from the funeral home?Community AnswerOnly if you want to, perhaps to a special person or someone who did something special, such as read or sang at the funeral or helped with the wake or something. It is not really expected as people know you have suffered a loss, but a quick line for a special thing done or extra generous memorial donation would be fine.
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QuestionHow do I sign the letter?Community AnswerAs it says above, sign the notes either with your own name or “Family of [Deceased’s Name]."
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References
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/simple-tips-writing-funeral-thank-you-notes/
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://condolencemessages.com/funeral-thank-you-notes-what-to-say/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/simple-tips-writing-funeral-thank-you-notes/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/simple-tips-writing-funeral-thank-you-notes/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/simple-tips-writing-funeral-thank-you-notes/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/simple-tips-writing-funeral-thank-you-notes/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/simple-tips-writing-funeral-thank-you-notes/
About This Article
Article Summary
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To write a thank you note to someone after a funeral, write a few sentences thanking them for thinking of you during this hard time and letting them know it meant a lot to you. If you're close to the person, you could include an anecdote or story from the deceased's life to make the note more personal. It's also nice if you mention what the person contributed after your loss, whether it was flowers, food, or a donation. For more advice, like how to prepare and send your thank you notes, keep reading.
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Reader Success Stories
- "After my mother's funeral, I was overwhelmed with things left to do. This article helped calm me down concerning one aspect - the thank-you cards. Mine were later than I would have liked, but I didn't beat myself up over it." ..." more
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"After my mother's funeral, I was overwhelmed with things left to do. This article helped calm me down concerning one aspect - the thank-you cards. Mine were later than I would have liked, but I didn't beat myself up over it."
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"You told me a lot I didn't know. I was not aware I should send a Thank You note to the pall bearers or the director of the funeral home. Very helpful in wording of the card. "
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"I had no idea how even to begin writing thank you notes or what to say after the passing of my mother-in-law and this helped me tremendously."
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"My sister had an official state funeral in the country of Belize. How do I thank these people? I got very good pointers I plan to use."
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