11+ Ways to Support and Cheer Up Your Boyfriend When He's Sad

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If your boyfriend is feeling blue, figuring out exactly what he needs can be tough. You might want to do everything you can to support him, but knowing what to do and how to do it isn’t always easy. Thankfully, while everyone's a little different, there are some tried and true methods you can use to bring a smile back to your boyfriend’s face.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.

How to Cheer Up Your Boyfriend

  1. Offer him a listening ear so he can talk through his feelings.
  2. Remind him that it’s okay to be sad.
  3. Instead of guessing, ask him what you can do to help.
  4. Give him some space to process his feelings if he needs it.
  5. Plan a fun activity to boost his mood.
  6. Get him a small gift or write a sweet note to brighten his day.
1

Listen to him.

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  1. If your boyfriend is feeling bad and he wants to talk about it, sit down with him and let him unburden himself. Try not to interrupt, and ask follow-up questions so he can keep talking. [1] You can offer a few words of encouragement, too. [2]
    • For instance, you might ask something like, “How did that make you feel?” or, “Is that why you’re upset?”
    • Try not to immediately go into “fix it” mode, when you try to give your boyfriend advice or fix his problems. This can make people feel like you aren’t actually hearing what they’re saying.
    • If he isn't talking about it, try asking him if he wants to talk, and ask if something is upsetting him or making him uncomfortable. [3]
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2

Let him know that it’s okay to be sad.

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  1. Your boyfriend might be feeling a little ashamed to be sad, but he doesn't have to be. Let him know that his feelings are valid, and that it’s okay to be upset, even if he thinks it’s silly. [4]
    • You could say something like, “I just want you to know that I understand why you’re sad, and it’s not weird at all.”
    • Or, “Feel free to cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do. I’m not here to judge you.”
3

Ask him what he needs.

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  1. Sometimes, it’s hard to know what people need when they’re sad, especially if it’s a newer relationship. Don’t be afraid to ask your boyfriend what he’d like you to do—the answer might surprise you. [5]
    • You might say something like, “I want to support you here. What can I do to make you feel better?”
    • You can also take his love language into account. For instance, if your boyfriend likes getting gifts, you could buy him something small. If he craves physical touch, you could simply give him a hug.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 444 wikiHow readers how they want their partner to comfort them when they’re feeling down, and 56% of them agreed that the best gesture is a sweet hug or tender touch. [Take Poll]
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4

Give him some space if he needs it.

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  1. If he just needs some alone time, try to give it to him, even if it feels like the last thing you want to do. If you don’t want to leave him alone in the house, you can simply head to another room or wear headphones to block out any noise. [6]
    • If you two don’t live close to each other, he might need to take a few days to himself. This could mean that he doesn’t respond to your texts or answer your phone calls. Try not to take it personally!
5

Take him to do something fun.

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  1. If your boyfriend is feeling blue, getting him out of the house will probably do him some good. Plan a fun date where the two of you can hang out to get his mind off of things. [7]
    • If you don’t live near your boyfriend or you’re in a long distance relationship, try sending him a little money on Venmo or Cashapp so he can go out to eat or head to the mall.
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6

Encourage him to go outside.

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  1. Take your boyfriend to explore a park nearby or walk down the waterfront. If you two don’t live close, you can send him suggestions or buy him tickets to visit a zoo or a nearby amphitheater. Getting out of the house is a great way to break someone out of a funk. [8]
    • If your boyfriend is outdoorsy, consider taking him on a hiking or backpacking adventure.
7

Bring him a little gift.

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  1. Drop by your boyfriend’s house with a bouquet of flowers or a nice bottle of wine. It doesn’t have to be anything super expensive, but a small gift will show him that you care. And, it can be a nice distraction from whatever he’s going through. [9]
    • If your boyfriend lives far away, you can send him a care package full of his favorite things.
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8

Write him a sweet note.

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  1. You might write about his charming personality, his great sense of style, his humor, or his kindness toward others. Then, seal the note in an envelope and give it a kiss for good luck. You can drop this note off at his door or deliver it to him in person, if you’d like. [10]
    • If you’re sending a letter to him long distance, it could take a few days to arrive. Consider sending him a text or an email as well so he gets one of your messages instantly.
9

Send him memes or tell him a joke.

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  1. Pick out a few memes your boyfriend might like and text them to him or DM him on Instagram. Or, call him up and tell him a funny joke you heard. If he’s just a little down in the dumps, he’ll probably appreciate your sense of humor, and you might just snap him out of his funk. [11]
    • If your boyfriend is sad about a serious problem, humor might not be the way to go. However, it works great for little bummers, like losing a soccer game or not getting a promotion.
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10

Tell him all the things you love about him.

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  1. Telling him what you love about him is sure to perk him up and remind him why you’re together. You can talk about his warmth, his honesty, his loyalty, his strength, or his compassion. Not only will this make him feel better, but it might just give him an ego boost, too. [12]
    • If you can’t see your boyfriend in person, try recording a video of yourself telling him all the things you love about him instead.
11

Encourage him to seek professional help if he needs to.

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  1. If your boyfriend is sad a lot or he’s going through tough times, a mental health professional might be able to help. Encourage him to make an appointment with a therapist or a counselor to talk about his feelings and what he’s going through. He might be opposed at first, but remind him that he’ll feel much better in the long run. [13]
    • If your boyfriend is in school, have him talk to a school counselor on campus.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What does a man want in a woman?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Remember that men are, in many ways, more sensitive than women. You can bet that your partner wants to feel heard and understood. That doesn't mean you have to always agree or go along, but you should listen to him and let him be his own person.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 24 Helpful 61
  • Question
    How do I make my relationship not boring?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    If you want to avoid boredom in your relationship, try having a proper physical relationship where you both are feeling touched, kissed and all that stuff! Don’t let the fire burn out! It's all in the little things.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      3. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
      4. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      5. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202012/when-your-partner-needs-space-and-you-crave-closeness
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      8. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      9. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.
      1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/8-tips-for-writing-a-love-letter-to-your-spouse#1
      2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-love-relationships.htm
      4. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/saras-experience-helping-her-boyfriend-overcome-depression

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