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When you know you are at fault for a problem, it can be tempting to pretend it wasn’t your mistake or put the blame on someone else. But admitting your mistakes and taking responsibility is always the best way to handle the situation. Then, you’re able to move on from the situation, knowing you’ll do better next time. We spoke with Licensed Psychologist Catherine Boswell and Licensed Clinical Psychologist Gera Anderson to learn how to own up to mistakes gracefully at work and in your personal life. Read on to learn more.
How to Own Up to a Misktake
- Recognize you’ve done something wrong.
- Keep the focus on your actions, not what someone else did.
- Admit your mistake as soon as possible.
- Sincerely apologize to the wronged person and validate their feelings.
- Propose a solution and accept any consequences.
- Reflect on your actions and get help to be more accountable.
- Accept that nobody’s perfect and move on.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I move on from the constant feelings of guilt?Dr. Catherine Boswell is a Licensed Psychologist and a Co-Founder of Psynergy Psychological Associates, a private therapy practice based in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups, couples, and families struggling with trauma, relationships, grief, and chronic pain. She holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell has taught courses to Master’s level students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach.To overcome feelings of guilt, actively engage in the practice of self-forgiveness. Consider whether you would extend the same understanding and compassion to a friend in a similar situation—grant yourself the same leniency. Additionally, take accountability for your actions and view mistakes as valuable opportunities for personal growth. Learning from these experiences is crucial to moving forward and fostering positive development.
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QuestionI made a fake account on a social networking site and pretended to be an imaginary person. I said things to someone that I feel guilty about, but I told the person it was me. What should I do?Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.Seems like you already took responsibility for your actions. If they accepted your apology, you should take his as a learning experience and move on.
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QuestionWhen you feel you're in the right and the other person feels they're in the right, how do you come to a common solution?Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.You may just have to agree to disagree. You can let them know that you acknowledge their point of view but do not agree. However, if both of you are wrong, you can start by admitting your own mistake and taking responsibility for your part even if they don't take responsibility for theirs.
Video
Tips
- If you are too shy to apologize in person, send them a text or a letter. If you are sending a letter, putting in a small gift, even a sticker, may help them accept your apology.Thanks
- Don't assume that your boss, parent, spouse, or teacher will think the worst of you if you make a mistake. Owning up to mistakes early will earn you respect from them. It won't make them think less of you.Thanks
- You don't have to make a big deal out of some things. Small mistakes are easily handled by saying, "Oh. That was my bad. I'm sorry."Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about mental health, check out our in-depth interview with Catherine Boswell, PhD .
References
- ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/how-get-better-admitting-you-re-wrong-ncna1003356
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201207/stop-playing-the-blame-game
- ↑ https://hbr.org/tip/2019/02/when-you-make-a-mistake-be-quick-to-admit-it
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201012/how-admit-youre-wrong
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/worry-wise/201207/how-apologize
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201204/understanding-validation-way-communicate-acceptance
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/positive-psychology-in-the-classroom/201304/the-positive-psychology-making-amends
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_learn_from_your_failures
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/202102/the-difference-between-shame-and-accountability
About This Article
To accept blame when you deserve it, try to remember that recognizing you're wrong and being accountable makes you mature and responsible, not weak. If you did something wrong, talk to the person or people involved as soon as possible, and admit that you made a mistake. For example, you could say something like, "I was wrong to yell at you yesterday. Even if I'm upset, that's not OK." Then, apologize if the situation warrants one. After you've accepted the blame for something, try to offer a solution to make up for your mistake. For example, if you messed up at work, you could offer to stay late to fix the problem. For advice from our co-author, like how to gracefully accept the consequences of a mistake, keep reading.
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