Practical Ways to Be More Mature That You Can Try Today

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Make better decisions, treat others with respect, and take responsibility
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Maturity is more than a matter of age. There are mature 6-year-olds and immature 80-year-olds. Maturity is a matter of how you treat yourself and others. It's how you think and behave. We spoke to life coaches, school counselors, and other experts to bring you the best advice about how to develop maturity and become the best version of yourself.

How to Be More Mature

To be more mature, practice self-control, take responsibility for your actions, and manage your emotions. Keep an open mind and be respectful of other people. Communicate calmly and clearly, listen to other people's thoughts and opinions, and avoid gossiping.

Section 1 of 4:

How to Develop Mature Behaviors & Habits

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  1. We all have to live in the world together. If you do things to intentionally annoy others, or if you do whatever you want without keeping the feelings of others in mind, people may view you as immature. Trying to remember the needs and wants of other people around you will help you cultivate a reputation as a mature and respectful individual.
    • Being respectful of others doesn’t mean you have to let them walk all over you. It does mean that you need to listen to others and treat them the way you’d like to be treated. If the other person is rude or unkind to you, don’t respond with unkindness of your own. Show that you’re the bigger person by walking away. [1]
  2. Part of maturity is being able to assess your current strengths, determine areas that you need to improve, and set goals for the future. Keep the future in mind and let it inform the choices you are making about your life right now. Once you have set goals that are clear, actionable, and measurable, take action to work towards them. [2]
    • Setting goals can seem overwhelming, but don’t worry! It just takes a little time and planning. Career & Life Coach Dawn Smith-Camacho suggests that you start by figuring out what really matters to you—what do you value, and what do you want to do next in your life? From there, you can figure out the steps you need to take to get where you want to be. [3]
    • First you need to think about a few categories: Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why.
    • Who will be involved in achieving your goals? Obviously, you are the primary person here. However, a tutor, a volunteer coordinator, or a counselor may also be involved.
    • What do you want to achieve? It’s important to be as specific as possible in this step. “Prepare for college” is way too big. You’ll never get started on a huge vague goal like that. Instead, choose a few specifics that will help you achieve that bigger goal, like “Do a volunteer activity” and “Participate in an extracurricular activity.”
    • When do specific parts of your plan have to be done? Knowing this will help keep you on track. For example, if you want to volunteer, you need to know if there’s a deadline to apply, when the activities are, and when you’ll be able to do them.
    • Where will you be working on achieving this goal? For the volunteering example, you might choose to work at an animal shelter.
    • How will you achieve each stage of your goal? For example, what is the process for contacting the shelter to volunteer? How will you get to the animal shelter? How will you balance your volunteering with your other responsibilities? You have to think about answers to these types of questions.
    • Why do you want to achieve this goal? This is probably the most important part, believe it or not. You’re more likely to achieve a goal when it’s meaningful to you and you can see how it fits in the “big picture.” Figure out why this goal is important. For example, “I want to volunteer at the animal shelter so that I can make my resume more attractive for pre-vet college programs.”
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  3. 3
    Practice self-control. A hallmark of maturity is the ability to practice self-control and delay gratification. Instead of starting your day off with an unhealthy breakfast or by doomscrolling on TikTok, take care of your body and mind by limiting your unhealthy behaviors and keeping your eye on the bigger picture. Think before you act and make the decision that will be best for you in the long run. By focusing on your responsibilities and waiting to reward yourself until they’re complete, you will begin to become a more mature person.
    • Don’t beat yourself up if you’re having a hard time practicing self-control. Instead, reflect on what’s holding you back and work to develop better habits.
    • A true sign of maturity is being able to practice self-restraint when presented with risky, exciting, or emotional situations. [4]
  4. 4
    Work on becoming self-sufficient. Supporting yourself teaches you a lot of lessons about life. Being fully self-sufficient means you do things like cooking your own meals, doing chores because you want a clean space, living independently, and providing for yourself financially. This creates a sense of accomplishment and fosters growth, focus, and maturity. [5]
    • Being self-sufficient doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for help. Learn how to recognize when to ask for help and don’t be ashamed when you do. Everyone needs a hand, sometimes!
  5. Lacking dynamic or developed interests or hobbies might contribute to your immaturity. Find something that you enjoy doing and become an "expert" at it to seem more experienced and mature. School Counselor Katie Styzek says that extracurricular activities are a great way to bond with people who share similar interests. [6] You’ll also have something to talk about with others, whether or not they also participate in your hobby.
    • Try to keep your hobbies active and productive. It’s a lot of fun to watch a TV show marathon, but it isn’t necessarily the best use of your time. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy movies, TV, and video games, but they shouldn’t be the only things you spend your time on.
    • Hobbies can increase your self-esteem and boost your creativity . They can also stimulate parts of your brain that make you feel positive and happy.
    • There’s basically no limit to the types of things you can do! Get a camera and learn photography . Pick up a musical instrument. Practice a new language . Learn to beatbox . Start a live-action roleplaying group. Just make sure that whatever you choose is something you enjoy doing, or it’ll become a chore rather than a hobby.
  6. 6
    Build a routine and stick to it. A routine helps you manage your time and accomplish your goals more effectively. Not only that, but it also helps you manage stress and take better care of yourself. By building a routine, you will be able to have more control over your time and better tackle what life throws at you. [7]
    • It’s okay if you don’t follow your routine to a T every single day, but aim to be consistent and make your routine a habit.
    • Try to consistently eat healthy, exercise daily, and incorporate hobbies you enjoy into your routine.
    • When developing a routine, Life Coach Desiree Panlilo says it really comes down to “creating that focus, getting rid of the distractions and creating a time management plan.” It may take a while, but it will be worth it. [8]
  7. You do not have to be serious all of the time in order to be mature. Real maturity is knowing your audience and figuring out when it’s appropriate to be silly and when it’s important to be serious. It’s good to have different levels of silly so you can scale your actions appropriately. [9]
    • Try setting aside a part of your day that’s just for goofing off. You need time to blow off steam and get goofy. Give yourself a little time every day (say, after school) to indulge in wacky hijinks.
    • Understand that silliness usually isn’t appropriate in formal situations, such as school, church, at work, and especially at funerals. You’re expected to be paying attention, not pranking people. Being silly in these situations will usually communicate immaturity.
    • However, informal situations like hanging out with your friends, or even time with your family, can be a great time to get silly. It can even help you bond with each other.
    • Establish some parameters for when it is okay and when it is not okay to play a joke or be silly. Don’t use mean-spirited or belittling humor or pranks.
  8. Your friends will influence your behavior. Make sure that you're associating with people who will make you a better person, instead of spending time with people who only drag you down. Styzek says that recognizing that your friends are bad for you is a huge sign of maturity and suggests that you befriend people who are good influences. [10]
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Section 2 of 4:

How to Develop Emotional Maturity

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  1. Mature people are open-minded . Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shut it out or dismiss the possibility. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone) new and different. [11]
    • If someone has a different belief or habit than you do, don’t judge it immediately. Instead, ask open questions, such as “Could you tell me more about this?” or “Why do you do that?”
    • Try to listen more than you talk, at least at first. Don’t interrupt people or say “But I think---” Let them talk. You’ll be surprised at what you learn.
    • Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn’t seem right, ask for clarification before you make a snap judgement. For example, if you think someone just insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and then say something like, “I heard you say _______. Is that what you meant?” If the other person says they didn’t mean it that way, accept it.
    • Don’t expect the worst from people. Go into situations expecting that everyone else is human, just like you. They probably won’t try to be mean or hurtful, but they may also make mistakes. Learning to accept people just as they are will help you be more mature.
    • Sometimes, you just won’t agree with someone else. That’s okay. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree -- that’s part of being mature.
  2. Do not apologize for any quirks or oddities that you may have, even if others don’t approve. Instead, have confidence in yourself and accept all of those quirks. As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial and won’t cause anyone harm, feel free to express your individuality. Mature people don't second-guess themselves or try to be something that they aren't. [12]
    • Developing hobbies and skills you’re good at is a great way to build your self-confidence. You’ll learn that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to, and have a cool set of skills to share with others.
    • To boost your confidence, Life Coach Leah Morris says to practice affirmations by “looking at yourself in the mirror, [and] saying to yourself what it is that you need to hear to get pumped up. So you're going to nail this, you're going to be fine at the end of all this, everything is happening just as it should for you. You're smart, you're capable.” [13]
    • Watch out for that inner critic. If you notice negative thoughts about yourself, think about whether you’d say them to a friend. If you wouldn’t do it to a friend, why would you tear yourself down? Try rewording these negative thoughts into helpful ones. [14]
    • For example, you might think “I am such a loser! I suck at math and I’ll never get any better.” This isn’t a helpful thought, and it definitely isn’t something you’d tell a friend. Reword it in terms of what you can do about it: “I’m not great at math, but I can work hard. Even if I don’t get an A in the class, I’ll know I did my best.”
  3. A mark of true maturity is being true to who you are . You can have self-confidence without acting arrogant or pompous. A mature person doesn’t have to tear others down or pretend to be something they're not to feel good about themselves. [15]
    • Talk about things that truly interest you. When you care about something, it shows.
    • When you have negative thoughts about yourself, it can be tempting to go overboard denying them. For example, if the thought “I really am worried about this test next week” shows up, your first reaction might be to pretend “Nothing scares me!” This isn’t true to yourself. It’s more mature to admit when you’re feeling insecure or vulnerable. Everyone has moments when they don’t feel confident. That’s totally normal.
    • Express your feelings clearly. Beating around the bush or being passive aggressive aren’t mature or genuine ways to deal with your feelings. Be polite and respectful, but don’t be afraid to say how you really feel. [16]
    • Do what you think is right. Sometimes, other people may mock or criticise you for it. However, if you stick to your principles, you’ll know you’ve been true to yourself. If people don’t respect that, you don’t want their good opinion anyway.
  4. 4
    Balance your needs with the needs of others. Being mature isn’t just about catering to the needs of others. Nor is it about putting yourself above everyone and everything else. To be mature, find balance between your needs and the needs of others. Set boundaries with people and step away from a situation if you know it doesn’t suit you, regardless of what others think. Know what’s important to you and commit to it. [17]
  5. According to Styzek, possibly the most important part of becoming a more mature person is accepting responsibility for your own words and actions. [18] Remember that things don’t simply happen to you. You are an agent in your own life, and your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others. Own up when you make mistakes. Recognize that you can’t control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do.
    • Accept responsibility when things go wrong. For example, if you do badly on an essay, don’t blame it on the teacher. Think about what actions you took to get you to that result. What can you do better next time?
    • Focus less on whether something is fair. Things will not always be fair in life. Sometimes, you may deserve something that you don’t get. Mature people will not allow unfairness to stand in the way of their accomplishments.
    • Keep your commitments. Don’t be a flake or unreliable. If you say you’re going to do something, do it.
    • When it comes to being mature as a teenager, Panlilo says to “Take a little responsibility, take ownership, start creating personal accountability and personal responsibility.” [19]
  6. 6
    Practice self-reflection. This can look like journaling about your day or having a conversation with yourself about recent events. Self-reflection provides an anchor during times of crisis by allowing you to take a step back, get your thoughts and feelings out, and observe a situation objectively. [20]
    • This is key for developing maturity, as you’ll be able to better navigate situations by getting all of the things clouding your mind out of your head.
    • When reflecting, be careful not to ruminate on the past. If you’re having trouble, try writing all of your thoughts associated with the situation on a page, then ripping the page up to signify moving on.
  7. A lot of anxiety comes from trying to control things that aren't necessarily yours to control. However, there are things you can control, and it's important to be aware of those and to work on what you can in order to improve those things. Smith-Camacho advises:
    • For the job: You can polish and proofread your resume. You can prepare for the interview as well as you can. You can dress professionally when you interview for the job. You can show up on time. You may still end up not getting the job, but you will have done everything within your control. [21]
    • For relationships: You can be respectful, funny , and kind. You can be yourself around the other person. You can be vulnerable and tell him/her that you’d like to have a relationship. These are things you are in control of. Even if things don’t work out, you can rest easy knowing you stayed true to yourself and gave yourself the best shot. [22]
  8. Most of the time, people give up because it’s easier than trying again. It’s much easier to say “I’m a loser” than it is to say “Well, that approach didn’t work out, let’s see what else I can do!” Accept responsibility for your choices and choose to keep on trying, no matter what.
    • When it feels like something is taking too long, take a step back, observe the situation for what it is, and continue moving ahead. Remember, good things take time.
  9. If you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will communicate that what the person said was not okay. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude. If the person apologizes, accept the apology; if there's no apology, just walk away.
  10. Bullying behavior often emerges from a sense of insecurity or poor self-esteem. It can be a way for people to try and assert their power over others. Bullying is bad for people who are bullied and for those who do the bullying. [23] If you find yourself engaging in bullying behavior, talk to someone you trust, like a parent or school counselor, about how to stop.
    • Bullying falls into three basic types: verbal, social, and physical. [24]
    • Verbal bullying involves things like name-calling, threatening others, or making inappropriate comments. While words don’t cause physical harm, they can cause deep emotional wounds. Watch what you say, and don’t say something to someone that you wouldn’t want them to say to you.
    • Social bullying involves doing damage to someone’s social reputation or relationships. Shunning others, spreading rumors, humiliating others, or gossiping are all types of social bullying.
    • Physical bullying involves hurting someone (or someone’s things). Any physical violence, as well as taking or destroying someone’s stuff or making rude gestures, are forms of physical bullying.
    • Don’t allow bullying to happen when you’re around, either. While you don’t have to get physically involved with a bully—in fact, that can be really unsafe—there are plenty of ways for you to help create a bully-free environment. Try: [25]
      • Setting a good example by not bullying others.
      • Telling bullies that their behavior isn’t funny or cool.
      • Being nice to victims of bullying.
      • Telling responsible adults about bullying.
    • If you feel like you have a bullying problem, consider talking with a counselor or therapist. Maybe you have some deeper issues that are making you feel like you need to belittle or pick on others. A counselor can give you approaches to develop more positive relationships.
  11. Gossip , rumor-mongering, and backstabbing can hurt other people just as much as if you’d punched them in the face—maybe even more. [26] Even if you don’t mean gossip maliciously, it can still do damage. Mature people care about others’ needs and feelings and don’t do things that could cause hurt.
    • Gossip won’t necessarily make you cool or popular, either. Gossip may make you seem cool when you’re in fifth grade, but by ninth grade (when you’re hopefully more mature) gossipers are generally seen as less likeable and less popular. [27]
    • To limit gossip, certified image consultant Sheila A. Anderson says “Pause before you speak and ask yourself, ‘Is what I’m about to say harmful or helpful?’ If you know someone that tends to be a gossiper, limit your time with them. It can be easy to get pulled into a conversation with these people, and before we know it, we are gossiping right along with them.” [28]
    • Don’t encourage gossip either. If someone tries to initiate gossip when you’re around, speak up. Research shows that when even one person says “Hey, I’m not cool with gossiping about other people” it can really make a difference. [29]
    • Sometimes, you may say something nice about someone and it can end up translated by other people as gossip. For example, maybe you told a friend “I really like hanging out with Ziyi. She’s so funny!” and someone else told someone else that you said something mean. You can’t control how other people interpret or respond to what you say. The only thing you can control is what you say and do. Make sure that your words are kind.
    • A good test to determine whether something is gossip or rumor is to ask yourself: Would I want other people to hear or know this about me? If the answer is no, don’t share it with others.
  12. 12
    Let go of things that don’t serve you. As you mature, your hobbies and interests will change. So if you’re no longer into something, let go of it! This can include hobbies, mistakes, habits, friends, and relationships. If you’re stuck on a mistake you made in the past, an old relationship, or a failed friendship, letting go of it can make space for new experiences. [30]
    • Don’t let your past define you. Your past is a part of your story, it isn’t the story itself. Focus on the present day and look at your past mistakes as learning experiences.
    • If someone has wronged you, forgive and forget. Forgiveness will help you put the situation behind you.
    • When evaluating negative relationships in your life, Morris says to either get rid of it or assess “what it is about the relationship that's making it negative.” Then, have an open dialogue with that person about improving the relationship. [31]
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Section 3 of 4:

How to Practice Mature Communication

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  1. Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be tamed . Don't overreact to minor things that don't matter in the long run. When you feel yourself getting upset, stop and take 10 seconds to think about your response before you do or say anything. This will keep you from things you regret and will help you become a more mature communicator. [32]
    • After you stop, ask yourself what’s really going on. What’s the real problem here? Why are you upset? You may find out that you’re really mad about something that happened two days ago, and actually not about having to clean your room.
    • Think of potential solutions to the problem. Run through a couple of ways you might react before you pick one. What will address what’s going on?
    • Consider the consequences. This is where a lot of people may stumble. “Doing what I want” is often the most attractive solution, but will it really fix the problem? Or will it make it worse? Think about what the result of each option is likely to be.
    • Pick a solution. After you’ve considered the possible consequences of each option, pick the one that seems best for you. Note that this won’t always be the easiest or the most fun! That’s just part of becoming more mature.
    • If you must say something, use a calm voice and give some reasonable arguments to justify how you're feeling. If the person just wants to argue and doesn't want to listen, walk away from the conflict. It's not worth it.
    • When you're enraged or about to overreact, take deep breaths and count to 10. Maintain self-control and don't let wrath get the better of you.
    • If you have a temper, people may enjoy provoking you. When you control your temper, they will lose interest in making you angry and will start leaving you alone.
  2. When adults want to communicate maturely, they use assertive techniques and behaviors. Assertiveness isn’t the same as cockiness, arrogance or aggression. Assertive individuals express their own feelings and needs clearly, and they listen when others do the same. [33] Arrogant and selfish individuals don’t care about others’ needs and are focused on getting what they want, when they want it—whether or not it makes others miserable. Learn to stand up for yourself without being arrogant or aggressive, and you’ll definitely feel more mature. Here are some ways to communicate assertively: [34]
    • Use “I”-statements. “You”-statements make other people feel blamed and shuts them down. Keeping the focus on what you’re feeling and experiencing keeps the way open for productive, mature communication.
      • For example, instead of telling your parents “You never listen to me!” try using an “I”-statement like “I feel like my perspective hasn’t been heard.” When you say you “feel” a certain way, the other person is more likely to want to know why.
    • Recognize others’ needs too. Life isn’t all about you. It’s great to communicate your feelings and needs clearly, but remember to also ask others about theirs. Being able to put others first is a true sign of maturity.
    • Don’t jump to conclusions. If you aren’t sure what happened with someone, ask! Don’t prejudge—remember, you don’t have all the information.
      • For example, if your friend forgot that you were supposed to go shopping together, don’t assume that it’s because they don't care or is a terrible person.
      • Instead, use an “I”-statement and follow it up with an invitation for them to express their feelings: “I felt really disappointed when you couldn’t make it shopping. What’s up?”
    • Offer to collaborate with others. Instead of saying “I want to go skateboarding,” ask others for input: “What would everyone like to do?”
  3. Many people and cultures have expectations that mature communicators won’t curse or swear . Swearing can shock others, or even make them feel as though you’re disrespecting them. Swearing can also cause others to think that you’re incompetent or bad at communicating. [35] Instead of swearing, try expanding your vocabulary . As you learn new words, use them to express yourself.
    • If you frequently swear when you’re upset or when you hurt yourself, try making it a game to come up with creative exclamations instead. Instead of swearing when you stub your toe, it’s a lot funnier (and more impressive) to say something creative like “Fudge monkeys!”
  4. If you raise your voice, especially when you are angry, you’re likely to make people uncomfortable. They may even decide to tune you out. [36] Screaming is what toddlers do, not mature adults.
    • Use an even, calm tone of voice, even when you’re upset.
  5. Your body can say as much as your words. For example, crossing your arms in front of you can tell others that you’re not interested in what they’re saying. Standing slouched over communicates that you’re not really “there” or you want to be somewhere else. Learn what your body is communicating, and make sure it’s what you want. [37]
    • Hold your arms relaxed at your sides instead of crossing them in front of you.
    • Stand up straight, with your chest out and head parallel to the floor.
    • Remember that your face communicates too. Don’t roll your eyes or stare at the floor.
  6. Examples of mature topics include school, the news, life experiences, and life lessons you have learned. Of course, you can take some time for being goofy with your friends. It’s all about considering your audience. You probably won’t talk about the same topics with your best friend as you do with your math teacher.
    • Ask questions. One of the signs of maturity is intellectual curiosity. If all you ever do is talk at someone, you won’t seem very mature. Ask others for their input. If someone says something interesting, say “Tell me more about that!”
    • Don’t pretend to know something you don’t. It can be hard to admit you don’t know something. After all, you really want to appear mature and informed. But pretending to know something only to have it come out that you don’t could make you look (and feel) foolish. It’s much better to say something like, “I haven’t read much about that. I’ll have to look into it!”
  7. If you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all. Immature people constantly criticize things, point out flaws about other people, and don't hesitate to insult others. Sometimes, they justify cruelty by stating that they're just "being honest." Mature people choose their words carefully, and they don't hurt people's feelings in their quest to be "honest," so remember to watch what you say, and don't say things that hurt other people’s feelings. Treat people the way that you want to be treated.
  8. No matter how conscientious you are, you're going to say the wrong thing or inadvertently hurt people from time to time. We all do stupid things once in a while, because nobody on earth is perfect. Learn to swallow your pride and say, "I'm sorry." A genuine, honest apology when you've done something wrong demonstrates true maturity. [38]
  9. Telling the truth with compassion is a really difficult skill to master, but thinking about whether you would want someone to say something to you can help you figure out what to say. In Buddhism, there’s a saying: “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself: is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” Consider it before speaking. Those around you will appreciate your honesty, and your compassion will show that you truly care about others. [39]
    • For example, if a friend asks you if her dress makes her look fat, consider what would be most helpful. Beauty is very subjective, so offering an opinion on her looks isn’t likely to be helpful. However, telling your friend that you love her just the way she is could be the confidence boost she needs.
    • If you really think your friend’s outfit is not attractive, there are tactful ways to say this if you think it will be helpful. For example, “You know, I like the red dress better than this one” doesn’t judge your friend’s body—nobody needs that—but it does answer her question of whether she looks her best.
    • Behavioral scientists suggest that some types of dishonesty are actually “pro-social,” like white lies you tell to help others avoid embarrassment or hurt. It’s up to you to decide whether this is something you want to do. Whatever you decide, choose to be kind in doing it.
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Section 4 of 4:

How to Be Courteous

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  1. Have good manners , shake hands with a solid, firm grip, and look right into that person's eyes. If your culture has a different way to greet others, use that form in an appropriate and polite way. When you meet someone new, make a good effort to remember the person's name by repeating it: “Nice to meet you, Wendy.” Good manners communicate that you respect the other person, which is the behavior of a mature person. [40]
    • Throughout any conversation, listen carefully and maintain eye contact. Don’t stare at the other person, though. Use the 50/70 rule: make eye contact for 50% of the time when you’re talking, and 70% of the time while the other person is talking. [41]
    • Avoid fidgeting or fiddling with random objects. Fidgeting is a sign that you lack confidence. Keep your hands open and relaxed.
    • Don't sit there thinking about places you'd rather be. Most people are very good at noticing when you don’t care about an interaction, and it will hurt their feelings.
    • Don't talk on your cell phone or text people while you should be paying attention to the person in front of you. This communicates disrespect.
    • Anderson says that when you’re “In a neutral setting, being the first one to extend your hand shows confidence. If you are visiting someone’s office or on their turf, it is polite for you to wait for them to offer their hand. It is also proper etiquette for the person with higher authority to extend their hand first.” [42]
    • When you enter a new situation or new community, keep quiet for a while and notice how other people are acting. It's not your job to tell other people what they should or shouldn't do. Instead, watch and be respectful.
  2. Using good online etiquette shows that you respect your friends, family and other people that are hanging out with you online. It’s a sign of maturity. Keep in mind that a lot of what you say online can also be seen by people like potential employers, teachers, and others, so don’t say things that would embarrass or hurt you.
    • Avoid strong or offensive language. Don’t overuse exclamation points. Remember that you aren’t there in person to clarify your point, so make sure not to overwhelm your audience.
    • Use your shift key. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginnings of sentences instead of writing in all lower-case letters. Avoid using non-standard cApitaliZaTion. It makes your writing much harder to read.
    • Avoid using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. This is the internet equivalent of shouting. This may be okay if you’re posting a tweet about how your hockey team just won the championship, but it’s not a good idea in daily emails and social media posts.
    • When sending an email, etiquette coach Tami Claytor says to write your emails like a formal written letter. Include greetings, have a proper closing, and make sure your spelling and grammar are correct. [43]
    • Proofread before you send an e-mail or make a social media post to make sure you didn't make a mistake. Use complete sentences, and be sure to add proper punctuation at the end of each sentence.
    • Go easy on abbreviations, slang and emoticons. It's okay to use these in a casual text to a friend, but don't use them in an e-mail to your teacher, or in another situation where you want to look mature.
    • Remember the golden rule online, just like the golden rule in real life. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want someone to be nice to you, be nice to them too. Don’t troll or insult them. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
  3. Be helpful and hold doors, help pick things up, and offer assistance to anyone who needs it. Consider being helpful in your community by being a mentor to a younger student, tutoring, or working at an animal shelter. When you make others happy, you’re more likely to feel happy yourself. Serving others rather than just yourself is a very mature behavior.
    • Helpful acts may also boost your self-esteem. Studies have shown that when we help others, we get a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we’ve done. [44]
    • Being helpful isn’t always a two-way street. There may be times when you help others and they don’t say “thank you” or offer to help in return. That’s on them. Remember that you’re being helpful for you, not to get anything from anyone else.
  4. When you constantly take over conversations and talk about yourself all of the time instead of giving other people a chance to talk, it shows disrespect and immaturity. Showing a genuine interest in the interests and experiences of others can make you seem more mature and less self-centered. You might also learn something new or develop a new respect for someone based on what you hear. [45]
  5. If somebody compliments you, say "thank you" and leave it at that. If someone criticizes you, be polite and say something like "Okay, I'll definitely think it over." Maybe the criticism isn't valid, but handling it politely makes you look mature in the moment. [46]
    • Try not to take criticism personally. Sometimes, people may be trying to help and aren’t communicating well. If you think that’s the case, ask for clarification: “I heard you say that you didn’t like my essay. Could you tell me some more specifics so I can do better next time?”
    • Sometimes, the criticism says much more about the person giving it than it does about you. If the criticism seems unfair or hurtful, remember that the other person may just be trying to make him or herself feel better by tearing you down. Smith-Camacho says they may even be reacting that way because they recognize something in you that they don't like about themselves. [47]
    • Accepting criticism gracefully doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself. If someone hurts your feelings, tell them in a calm and polite way: “I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way, but when you criticized my outfit it really hurt my feelings. Next time, could you not make comments about my appearance?”
    • Don't spend too much time criticizing yourself, either. Smith-Camacho says that if you notice something about yourself you'd like to change, work on it a little at a time. Keep in mind that any change is a process, so be patient if it doesn't happen overnight. [48]
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  • Question
    How do I show maturity?
    Katie Styzek
    School Counselor
    Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
    Katie Styzek
    School Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Start by choosing friends that have a positive influence on your life rather than keeping ones that bring you down.
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  • Question
    How can I figure out the goals I should set for myself?
    Dawn Smith-Camacho
    Career & Life Coach
    Dawn Smith-Camacho is the Owner of Whole Life Solutions, a business in which Dawn provides professional speaking on effective decision-making and navigating major changes for entrepreneurs and employees. She also supports individual coaching clients by identifying their core values, managing time, prioritizing, and honing in on their ideal path. Her clients include Vistage, UNICEF, the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), the Wedding Industry Professionals Association (WIPA), NACE, and Oracle.
    Dawn Smith-Camacho
    Career & Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    The best thing to do is to really spend time thinking about what you want from this stage of your life. What do you ultimately care about and value? Then, figure out the steps you need to take to make that happen.
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      Tips

      • Maturity takes time, so don’t rush. Put yourself out there, experience life, and learn from your mistakes as you do.
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      • When faced with a conflict with others, avoid arguing and instead, try to resolve it in a calm rational manner. If it does escalate to arguing, end it as quickly as possible.
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      • Maturity is difficult to acquire. However, don't change who you are to become more mature. Instead, strive to be who you are and be that well. It is no longer a question of who is older and who is younger. If you want to be taken seriously by people around you, think and act on how you want to be heard just make sure that once you take the step; be firm about it, and make a stand on your choice. If something went wrong, do your best to keep your calm and think of the next step, don't put the blame on others, you took the action and you're responsible for it. Be mature, and be responsible.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • While perseverance is mature, know when a plan truly isn't working and adjustment is needed. Asking for help when you genuinely need it doesn't mean that you failed. Pretending "everything's fine" when it isn't can seem immature.
      • Find positive role models like respected siblings. Observe and learn from their mature example. Adapt their communication style to situations instead of overly formal speech.
      • Express hurt feelings directly to the person instead of cutting them off. However, if they remain rude, forgiving them shows maturity while still protecting your peace.
      • Seek win-win resolutions in conflicts instead of forcing your way. Be open-minded to others' perspectives. If this is difficult, find a mentor's example to follow.
      • Start simply with consistent politeness and manners. Build up to more complex skills like self-control. Make steady progress.
      • Dress and compose yourself appropriately for each situation. Avoid drastic appearance changes without context.
      • Don't be jealous as it shows immaturity. Instead, learn from others and praise them.
      • Take pride in your work. A job worth doing is worth doing well.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/202101/should-you-be-the-bigger-person
      2. ↑ https://inside.ewu.edu/calelearning/psychological-skills/goal-setting/
      3. ↑ Dawn Smith-Camacho. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
      4. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6551607/
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/202201/the-key-to-raising-independent-capable-kids
      6. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
      7. ↑ https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/health-benefits-of-having-a-routine
      8. ↑ Desiree Panlilio. Teen Life Coach. Expert Interview. 12 October 2021.
      9. ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/aug/23/why-it-is-sensible-to-be-silly-serious-times-call-for-drawing-smiley-faces-on-fruit
      1. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
      2. ↑ https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletters/authentichappinesscoaching/open-mindedness
      3. ↑ https://www.usf.edu/student-affairs/counseling-center/top-concerns/what-is-self-confidence.aspx
      4. ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
      5. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/self_esteem.html
      6. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/self_esteem.html
      7. ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer%20Modules/Assert%20Yourself/Assert%20Yourself%20-%2002%20-%20How%20to%20Recognise%20Assertive%20Behaviour.pdf
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-this-world/201602/finding-balance
      9. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
      10. ↑ Desiree Panlilio. Teen Life Coach. Expert Interview. 12 October 2021.
      11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/your-emotional-meter/202310/the-power-of-self-reflection
      12. ↑ Dawn Smith-Camacho. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
      13. ↑ Dawn Smith-Camacho. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
      14. ↑ http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/index.html
      15. ↑ http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/index.html
      16. ↑ http://www.stopbullying.gov/respond/be-more-than-a-bystander/index.html
      17. ↑ http://www.apa.org/research/action/blues.aspx
      18. ↑ http://www.apa.org/research/action/blues.aspx
      19. ↑ Sheila A. Anderson. Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon. Expert Interview. 19 July 2021.
      20. ↑ http://www.apa.org/research/action/blues.aspx
      21. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/202002/how-to-let-go-of-the-past
      22. ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
      23. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
      24. ↑ http://socialwork.buffalo.edu/content/dam/socialwork/home/self-care-kit/exercises/assertiveness-and-nonassertiveness.pdf
      25. ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer%20Modules/Assert%20Yourself/Assert%20Yourself%20-%2002%20-%20How%20to%20Recognise%20Assertive%20Behaviour.pdf
      26. ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/07/how-to-stop-swearing-realise-millisecond-too-late
      27. ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer%20Modules/Assert%20Yourself/Assert%20Yourself%20-%2002%20-%20How%20to%20Recognise%20Assertive%20Behaviour.pdf
      28. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/nonverbal-communication.htm
      29. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-art-of-a-heartfelt-apology-2021041322366
      30. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/speaking-your-mind-without-being-hurtful/
      31. ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer%20Modules/Assert%20Yourself/Assert%20Yourself%20-%2002%20-%20How%20to%20Recognise%20Assertive%20Behaviour.pdf
      32. ↑ http://msue.anr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes
      33. ↑ Sheila A. Anderson. Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon. Expert Interview. 19 July 2021.
      34. ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 30 September 2020.
      35. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/work-career/volunteering-and-its-surprising-benefits.htm
      36. ↑ https://www.sedonasky.org/blog/4-ways-deal-attention-seeking-adults
      37. ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/accept-criticism
      38. ↑ Dawn Smith-Camacho. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
      39. ↑ Dawn Smith-Camacho. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Being mature can mean a lot of different things, but being responsible is an important part of it. Set goals for yourself and work toward them, and take ownership of your feelings and actions. If you make a mistake, acknowledge it—but recognize that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. When you do, look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Being kind and respectful to others is also a big part of being mature. Be courteous, lend a helping hand, and be honest and genuine with the people in your life. At the same time, set boundaries and stand up for yourself if other people are not treating you fairly. Another element of being mature is learning to be true to yourself. Explore your interests and values, get to know your strengths and weaknesses, and work on accepting yourself while also finding ways to learn, grow, and improve. Remember, being mature doesn’t mean that you have to be serious all the time or stop having fun. Part of growing up is embracing every part of yourself, including your silly and playful side. For tips from our counseling reviewer on accepting compliments and criticism with maturity, keep reading!

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